Indigo Summer

by Monica McKayhan

  “I hope so. His mama is supposed to call and let me know.”

  “I’ll pray for him tonight,” Indi said, her thick hair pushed back and wrapped in a silk scarf. She wasn’t embarrassed about coming to the window with a scarf on her head either. That’s what I liked about her. She wasn’t afraid to be herself, unlike most girls. She was different. She didn’t wear a lot of makeup and stuff, trying to be something she wasn’t. She was still pretty, even with that rag on her head. She wore cotton pajamas with some cartoon character on the front of her shirt.

  “What you been doing today?” I asked her.

  “Went to the mall with Tameka.”

  “What did you buy me?”

  “I didn’t buy you nothin’ with your ugly self.” She smiled as she insulted me.

  “Ugly?” I rubbed my palm across my face. “You call this face ugly?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You better take a mental picture of it, so you can dream about it tonight.” I laughed.

  “Shut up, Marcus,” she said. “Good night with your stupid self.”

  “Good night, Indi. Sleep tight.”

  She shut her window. I shut mine, too. Sat at my computer desk and turned on my computer. Logged onto my e-mail and saw that I had twenty-two new messages. Most of them were junk e-mails and I just went through and deleted them. Two of them were from a girl in London that I’d met online last summer. I’d never seen her in person, but she was nice to talk to. She had become my pen pal over the past year. Another e-mail was from my ex-girlfriend, Kim, asking me how I liked my new school. I hit the delete key. I hadn’t spoken to her since she’d said, “let’s just be friends,” and the next day I saw her in the car with another dude.

  One e-mail was from my mother, checking in to say hello. Said she was in San Diego on business and promised to pick me up a souvenir while she was there. I shot her a quick response and gave her my love, told her that I missed her. She immediately sent an IM, instant message, asking if I was interested in coming to live with her. How could she just IM me something like that, right out of the blue? IMs were for quick responses, but I didn’t have a quick response to a question like that.

  After Hurricane Katrina, the monster that had totally destroyed her home in New Orleans, Mom relocated to Houston and bought a condo there. She’d been living there for almost a year and said that once she got settled, she’d like for me to come and live with her. I didn’t take her seriously. Thought she was just saying something in passing. Mom was always promising to send for me, or promising that she would come for a visit. But her job almost always came first. She never made good on her promises, and it only left me heartbroken in the end and took me too long to recover. I stopped putting my heart and soul into her promises; just took them with a grain of salt. I still loved her though.

  When my parents were going through their divorce, I had to see a therapist to help me through my crisis. The therapist helped me to talk through what I was feeling. I was in a rage, because I felt as if my entire life had been turned upside down. And then in the midst of it all, Mom decided to drop me off at Pops one night, and then disappeared. Ended up in New Orleans with my grandparents. New Orleans is where she’d grown up as a girl; it was her home. I remembered summers there with my grandparents when I was small. Granny would make her famous Creole dishes, like gumbo with the big, fat juicy shrimp, corn on the cob and sausages in it. She’d make jambalaya and we’d eat crawfish by the dozens. She could really cook, but she was the meanest woman in the world. Making me come inside before the streetlights came on, and if I didn’t she’d pop me with a belt.

  “Marcus, don’t let dark hit you,” she would always say. Which meant, don’t stay outside playing after dark. “You be inside before the streetlights come on, you hear?”

  I would always nod a yes, but miss curfew every time. Then I’d end up getting the beating of my life. Granddad was different. He was much nicer, and took me fishing a lot. We’d drive to Mississippi which wasn’t that far from New Orleans, and fish in the Gulf of Mexico, sit on the bank with our poles launched into the water waiting for a bite. He’d tell me stories of when he was a boy, and have me laughing until my stomach hurt. Granddad was cool. That is, until he got Alzheimer’s disease. Now he didn’t even know my name. After the disaster, my grandparents moved to Mississippi and Mom moved to Houston.

  Would love for you to come live with me now. What do you think? her IM said.

  Her IM had caught me off guard. I hadn’t really given Houston much thought when she’d mentioned the possibility months ago. Houston was a much better place to raise children, she’d said. Plus she missed me like crazy and couldn’t wait to have me around again. I honestly didn’t think she was serious; figured she enjoyed her life without me too much. This was definitely something I’d have to give some thought to. I responded.

  I’ll think about it and let you know.

  Give it some serious thought, baby. You’ll love Houston. There’s a beach here, she said.

  Really? That caught my attention. I loved the ocean. It brought back memories of Granddad and me at the Gulf of Mexico. I always loved going there, diving into the water in my trunks.

  Why don’t you come for a visit one weekend? You’ll love it.

  That sounds cool, I typed back.

  Good. Let me know when and I’ll buy an airline ticket.

  I will, Mom.

  Very good. Sweet dreams, babe. Get some rest.

  Good night. Love you.

  Love you, too, Marcus. At the end of her IM was an animated set of red lips as if she was sending me a kiss.

  I logged out of instant messaging, and pulled my e-mail back up, created a new message for Sasha. Typed in her e-mail address, and in the body, I typed:

  What’s up? I really enjoyed spending time with you today. I know you’re probably asleep by now, but wanted to send you a line anyway. Marcus.

  Suddenly, an instant message popped up on the screen.

  What took you so long? her IM read.

  I responded I had chores and stuff to do.

  Me 2. Plus my homework, she said.

  UR cute, I typed, and ended my sentence with a smiling face. I didn’t know where that came from, but suddenly felt the urge to tell her that.

  UR cute too Marcus, but I have 2 go. I’ll talk 2 U tomorrow.

  Wait! Can I have your number? I typed it as fast as I could. Typing was never my strong point. Too many characters on a keyboard, and who had the patience to look for the right ones?

  I waited for a response. Stared at the screen for five long minutes before realizing that she was gone. She had signed off and I had no way of reaching her again. I hated feeling helpless that way, but didn’t have much of a choice. I’d have to wait for Sasha to get in touch with me. Who knew when that might be?

  I shut down my computer, grabbed a hot shower, and brushed my teeth.

  Before I drifted off to sleep, I asked God to keep an eye on my friend Justin for me. I didn’t have many friends, but he was definitely one of them.

  Chapter 17

  Indigo

  It had been three days, one hour and forty minutes since I’d heard from Quincy. He hadn’t called since dropping me off after the dance on Saturday night. His cell phone sent you straight into voice mail, and I’d already left six messages. He wasn’t at school, and had missed two days of football practice. I was beginning to worry. My next option was to look up his home phone number in the white pages and call his mother, but I decided to give it another day. Maybe he’d call or at least send a text.

  I sat at the dinner table with my parents, picking over my mashed potatoes all smothered in gravy, swearing to my parents that I was okay.

  “You sure, Indi? Because you haven’t touched a thing on your plate since you sat down. And you don’t look good. You feelin’ alright?”

  “I’m fine, Ma,” I said dryly. “Just got a lot on my mind.”

  “You haven’t been quite right since that bo
y dropped you off the other night. You wanna talk about it?” Daddy asked.

  “No, sir. I just wanna go to my room, if that’s okay.”

  “Indi, I really would like for you to eat something,” Mama said, and she was becoming really impatient with me.

  “If she’s not hungry, Carolyn, she’s not hungry,” Daddy said. “Don’t force her to eat. Let her go on upstairs.”

  “Thanks, Daddy,” I said, giving him a weak smile. My daddy was always there to rescue me, and I loved him for that. I made a mad dash for the kitchen to wrap my plate and stick it in the refrigerator for later. Felt guilty about leaving the dishes for my mother to load in the dishwasher, even though Nana Summer made me promise to help out more around the house. But tonight I just didn’t have any motivation. She said that young ladies shouldn’t have to be told what their responsibilities are. They should know what they are and do them. I had been so good about doing things without being told; cleaning my room, loading the dishes in the dishwasher after dinner, and vacuuming the family room on Saturday mornings, but tonight I just didn’t have any energy to do anything. All I wanted to do was rush upstairs to my cell phone and see if I had any missed calls, voice mail or text messages from someone other than Jade or Tameka. How disappointing it was to have a message waiting, only to discover it was from one of my girlfriends, and not Quincy.

  I opened up my flip phone and peered at the screen, and realized that I had two missed calls. Excitement rushed through me as I pressed the button to see who they were from. My heart thumped and I closed my eyes. Hoped with all my heart that it had been Quincy. Afraid that he’d moved on to someone else because I had said “no.” There were so many girls my age who were willing to say “yes,” that I was sure he’d found one. I thought of Mel’s advice about keeping my pocketbook shut until I was ready. And Nana telling me how babies are made. That scared me to death. I even thought about the discussion we had in Sunday school about how God is not pleased when we don’t practice abstinence. And I thought of my daddy’s little talk that we had when I was in the seventh grade, about how easy girls give it up and good girls save it for later. All these thoughts had been rushing through my head, clouding my vision. Everything I’d been taught kicked in that night I was with Quincy, but honestly, I was starting to rethink that night. Something inside of me wished I hadn’t listened to any of it. Saying “no” had caused me to feel isolated and left me with a broken heart. I was starting to wonder if I had made the right choice after all.

  I checked the missed calls: one was from Tameka and one was from Jade. I threw the cell phone on my dresser and fell onto my bed facedown. I flipped over and then covered my head with my pillow; no television, no radio. I just wanted silence. And I had silence, except for the little tapping noise from Skittles hitting my window. Marcus. What did he want? He was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. I couldn’t share the incident with him, because he would only tell me how it proves that Quincy really is no good. He would tell me that I should move on and that I deserved better. I tried to ignore the Skittles, but he wouldn’t give. He obviously knew I was in my room. I jumped up, lifted my blinds and my window.

  “What is it?” I asked impatiently, frowning. He grinned from ear to ear.

  “Just seeing what you up to, In-di-go Summer.” He enunciated every syllable of my first name.

  “Nothing.”

  “You wanna go for a walk?”

  “No.”

  “Come on, girl. I heard there’s a fishing pond behind your house. I want to see it.”

  “It’s just a little stupid creek, surrounded by a bunch of weeds.”

  “So? Let’s go check it out anyway,” he insisted. “Meet me outside in fifteen minutes.”

  Before I could protest, he’d already slammed his window shut and closed the blinds. Who did he think he was, barking orders at me like that? And what made him so sure I would show up? I didn’t really feel like visiting that stupid old creek behind our house, the one where I’d lost my balance and fallen in when I was five years old, getting mud all over my new outfit. But anything was better than sitting in the house sulking. Besides, I liked talking to Marcus sometimes. He was really smart and made you think of life in a different way. Well, basically, he just made you think. Maybe, just maybe, he’d cheer me up.

  As I stepped out of our air-conditioned house and into the Atlanta heat, it felt as if I’d stepped into an oven. Although the sun had gone down and dusk was just around the corner, it was still hot. I stepped off of my porch wearing a pair of khaki shorts, a pink Old Navy T-shirt and a pair of pink-and-white flip-flops. As I stepped into my backyard, I could see Marcus in the distance with his white wifebeater hugging his chest and a pair of oversized jeans hanging from his hips. He was carrying a huge stick and telling me to hurry up.

  “I don’t know why you wanna go down to this stupid creek,” I yelled to him.

  “I just wanna see what’s down here,” he said and took off down the hill, pushing tree branches and weeds out of the way like he was Tarzan or somebody.

  I followed, wishing I’d changed into a pair of jeans, and noticing that the mosquitoes had already starting tearing into me. It was as if they’d been waiting all day for fresh meat to show up. And here I was. It didn’t help that I was wearing an enticing fragrance that I’d picked up at Victoria Secret’s the week before. It was a fragrance that obviously drove them crazy. I slapped my legs as the bugs seemed to attack me all at once. It was as if they were taking dibs on who could tear into the flesh the quickest.

  “This is not cool, Marcus. The bugs are eating me up.”

  “Not to worry. I brought this.” He pulled a can of OFF! out of his back pocket and held it in the air. “Come here, let me spray you down.”

  I stood there as Marcus sprayed OFF! all over my legs and arms. The spray was cold against my skin.

  “That better?” he asked.

  “I don’t know yet.” I frowned. “I don’t like the outdoors. Or bugs!”

  “Quit complaining, and come on,” he said, and grabbed my hand.

  He pulled me down the hill until we made it to the creek, a place where baby frogs and crickets made their homes. Who knows, maybe even snakes, too. Marcus stood over the water, trying to see what creatures might be hiding in there, while I stood off to the side, observing from a distance. He reached down into the water, wading with his hand. After a few moments a frog wriggled between his fingers.

  “Yuck!” I screamed at the sight of it. “Put him back, Marcus!”

  “Come here and say hello, Indi. He won’t bite you.” He laughed.

  “You are so stupid. I’m out of here.” I turned and briskly started walking back toward my house.

  Before I got more than four feet away, Marcus’s strong arms squeezed my waist from behind.

  “Come back,” he whispered in my ear. “I’m sorry.”

  I didn’t pull away from his embrace. I actually felt safe, standing there all wrapped in his arms for a few minutes, taking in the smell of his cologne and the peppermint that he’d just popped into his mouth. It was perfectly natural for me to rest my head against his chest, and close my eyes. After a few moments, Marcus took my hand again and led me to a huge rock near the water. He sat down and invited me to sit next to him. I did. He picked up a few rocks and began tossing them into the water.

  “I remember when you were in the second grade, with your ponytails flying in different directions on your head and you were snaggletooth.”

  “Snaggletooth?” I laughed. “What about those three-inch thick bifocals you used to wear? I bet you could’ve started a fire with them bad boys.”

  “What about those green-and-white plaid high waters you used to wear with that purple shirt?” he said, referring to an outfit that I had shed tears over when my mother gave it to the Salvation Army.

  “I hated my mama for giving that outfit away. But what really ticked me off was when she threw my Raggedy Ann doll away,” I told him. “Just because
she was busting at the seams, she treated her like trash and threw her away. I cried for two weeks. Man, I would give anything to have a doll like that again.”

  “For real? Even now?” he asked.

  “Even now,” I said. “I’ve even searched for one like it, but they don’t seem to make Raggedy Ann dolls anymore.”

  “That’s serious.”

  “No. What’s serious is those Power Rangers light-up shoes you used to wear,” I said, and Marcus laughed so hard, there were tears in his eyes. He obviously remembered those shoes very well.

  “You got me on that. I did have some Power Rangers light-up shoes,” he said. “I loved them shoes, too. They were all that.”

  “I could tell, because you wore them every day.” I laughed. “Even after the lights stopped flashing, you still wore them, like they were Nikes or something.”

  “They were the next best thing.” He laughed. “You got me on that one, girl. It’s okay though.”

  “Where did you go after second grade, Marcus? It was like you dropped off the face of the earth.”

  “My parents moved us to Stone Mountain that summer. We bought this big house, with a huge yard. They said that the schools were much better over there, and it was closer to my mother’s job.”

  “Your mother seems nice. I saw her at the mailbox the other day. She smiled and said hello to me.”

  “Who Gloria? That’s not my mother,” he said. “That’s my father’s wife.”

  “Oh, she’s your stepmother?” I asked.

  “Something like that,” he said.

  “Where’s your real mother?”

  “She lives in Houston. Her and my father got a divorce about two years ago, and she ended up moving to New Orleans. After the hurricane she relocated to Houston. That’s where she lives now.” He threw another rock into the creek. “She wants me to come live with her.”

  “For real? You going?”

  He shrugged. He seemed sad when he talked about his mother, and I looked for a way of changing the subject.