Indigo Summer

by Monica McKayhan

  “But it hurts so bad, Nana.”

  “I know it does, baby. But you’ll get through it. You’re strong, and you’re brave. You’re a Summer, and you’re cut from good cloth.” She took my hands in hers, squeezed them and then kissed my forehead. “It’s okay to hurt for a little while, as long as you don’t stay there. You understand?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “You cry and you get it all out. Don’t hold it inside. And when you go back to school after the holidays, you hold your head up high, and you don’t drop it for anyone. You walk through those hallways, and you let him see that you’ve moved on.”

  “Marcus tried to tell me that Quincy was a dog. But I wouldn’t listen.”

  “Some things we have to discover for ourselves,” Nana said.

  “I thought Marcus was just saying those things because he wanted me for himself.”

  “Could be that he wanted you for himself.” She was so calm. Nana never got excited about much. She removed her reading glasses and set them and the book on the end table. “Or it could be he just simply cares about you. Didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “Well he was right about Quincy, Nana,” I told her. “I was so mean to him. Blaming him for Jade moving away. I wouldn’t even speak to him when he tried to plead his case. I’m sure he hates me now.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Nana said. “Hate is not something you develop overnight. Besides, he came by to see you today.”

  “He did?” I raised up and looked at Nana in surprise. That cheered me up and made my heart a little lighter. She grabbed my face in her hands.

  “He left you something.”

  “For real? What is it?” I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

  “It’s over there under the tree.” She pointed her head in that direction. “Said he wrapped that one himself.”

  It was the only gift left under the tree. Wrapped in bright red, silky paper with a big red bow, it looked as if Marcus had wrapped it. I rushed over to the tree, grabbed it and ripped the paper off. Opened the white cardboard box to see what was hidden inside. The red hair was a dead giveaway as I pulled the Raggedy Ann doll out of the box and held it in the air. It was identical to the one I had when I was little, wearing the same cute little outfit. A tear trickled down my cheek. Not only had Marcus remembered what I said about Raggedy Ann, but he had also put some thought and effort into finding the perfect gift for me. He had to have searched high and low for it. They just didn’t make dolls like that anymore. That touched my heart. Had me wondering how could he be so thoughtful, when I had been so mean to him.

  The tears rushed from my eyes again. A combination of heartache over Quincy and guilt over the way I treated Marcus. I needed to see him, to thank him. To tell him how sorry I was. I slipped my jacket around my arms.

  “I’ll be right back, Nana,” I said. She nodded a knowing nod as I dashed out the door, ran across my yard and ended up on Marcus’s front porch. His Jeep was gone, but I wanted to at least ask his father if he knew when he might be home. I rang the bell and waited for response. Killer was inside going crazy, barking as if he’d lost his mind. I rang the bell again. No answer. I stood there for a moment, and then slowly walked off the porch. I rushed back home and stepped inside from the cold.

  “He wasn’t home,” I told Nana.

  “Well, he’s gotta come home sooner or later,” she said, still reading her magazine. “Maybe you can catch him in the morning.”

  Morning would be too late. I needed to see him tonight, and was willing to wait. Disappointed, I trekked upstairs to my room. Decided to run myself a warm bath, with bubbles floating everywhere. I sat on the toilet with the lid down, braiding my hair as the water flowed in the tub. Once the tub was filled, I stepped in and let the water soothe every muscle in my body. Unfortunately, it wasn’t able to soothe my aching heart, so that part of me just continued to ache. According to Nana, this was a process that took some time. Soon I would feel better. I had to believe that.

  I decided to wait up for Marcus, and ran to my window every time I heard a car door slam, hoping it was him. But each time, it was someone else. Before long, my eyes became heavy and sleep found me. With Raggedy Ann in my arms, I finally gave in to it.

  Chapter 24

  Marcus

  Indigo Summer was the most selfish girl I had ever met, and I was done wasting my time on her. She was obviously stuck on Quincy, like some people were stuck on stupid. And to blame me for her best friend moving away, well, that proved just how immature she was. She wasn’t ready for a guy like me anyway. It was time I moved on. Sasha was way more mature, much smarter, and better than that—she liked me, respected me. She was there for me when Justin died. She had been just as crazy about Justin as I had been, and she was the only person I could talk to about it. The only person who understood exactly what I was feeling. We made a pact to help each other through it.

  Miss Beverly’s house was filled with grown-ups, including neighbors, some friends of hers and a few family members. We were all determined not to allow her to spend Christmas alone. There was plenty of food, and people were sitting around talking about grown-folks stuff. Sasha and I slipped out the front door and onto the porch. Although it was a chilly Atlanta night, we pulled our coats tighter and bore the cold. I grabbed her hand in mine. Tried to warm it.

  “Sasha, do you think that it was because of Justin that we were brought together—you and me?” I asked. “Like fate or something?”

  “I hadn’t thought about it that way, but yeah, I guess so,” she said. “If it hadn’t been for me babysitting him, and you tutoring him, we wouldn’t have even met. I’m thankful to him for that, because I like you, Marcus. I like you a lot.”

  “I like you, too,” I said. “And I would really like to take this friendship to the next level.”

  “At one point, Marcus, I thought that it would be cool if we could be more than friends,” she said.

  “And now?” I asked.

  “I have a boyfriend,” she confessed. “He’s away in college. He’s a freshman at Duke. We’ve been together for three years now.”

  “An older dude, huh?” She smiled. “How can you have a long-distance relationship like that?”

  “It works for us. There’s no pressure. I trust him, and he trusts me.”

  “What about that kiss the other day? The one between me and you. What was that all about?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I was just sad because of Justin. There were a lot of emotions rushing through me. I’m sorry if that confused you, Marcus. But I love Drew. My heart belongs to him.” She looked at me with those beautiful light brown eyes of hers. “Besides, your heart is somewhere else, too. I don’t really know where, but it’s definitely not with me. Am I right?”

  Honesty flowed so freely between us. That’s what I liked about Sasha. She kept it real. I decided to tell the truth.

  “There is a girl that I really like. Her name is Indigo Summer. But it doesn’t really matter because she has a boyfriend, and won’t give me the time of day,” I confessed. “The thing is, I know this boyfriend of hers ain’t about nothing. He’s only after one thing, and that’s to get in her pants. And she can’t even see it.”

  “Why don’t you tell her that?”

  “Been there, done that. She’s not interested in hearing what I have to say, so I’m letting her find out for herself.”

  “I wouldn’t be so quick to give up on her. She’s going to need you when he finally does break her heart.” Sasha was so mature. She was beyond her years in wisdom. “You will be there for her, won’t you?”

  “I’m not so sure now. She’s not even speaking to me, and to tell you the truth, I’m sick of trying.”

  “My daddy always taught me that anything worth having, is worth waiting for.” Sasha smiled. “Is she worth having?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Just as fate brought us together, if it’s meant to be w
ith you and Indigo, it will be.”

  “I guess so,” I told her, and intertwined my fingers with hers.

  “Can we just continue to be friends, Marcus?” she asked.

  “Always and forever,” I said, and meant that.

  Even though Justin was gone, he was still with us in spirit. He had done a good thing—bringing me and Sasha together.

  Chapter 25

  Indigo

  It was almost midnight when Marcus’s Jeep pulled up in front of his house. I rushed to my window, peeked through my blinds as he hopped out, wearing a brown leather jacket, a striped shirt underneath, and a pair of jeans that looked brand new. I was willing to bet he got them for Christmas. His hair was freshly cut, and his face clean-shaven.

  When his light flashed on in his room, I became anxious. Waited for him to start throwing Skittles at my window, just as he always did when he came home. No matter what time of day or night it was, he always reached out to me. But tonight was different. There were no Skittles against my window. And after a while, his bedroom light went out. It was the first night that he hadn’t at least tried reaching out to me. Even when I wasn’t speaking to him, he still reached out.

  I didn’t have any Skittles, but I had some peanut M& M’s and threw one at Marcus’s window. He didn’t respond. So I threw two more, and by the third throw his light came back on. He lifted his blinds and his window and looked at me with a look that I hadn’t seen before. One that held no excitement in his eyes.

  “What’s up, Indi?” he asked dryly.

  “Where you been?” I asked. “I been waiting for you all night.”

  “Waiting for me, why?”

  “Meet me at the creek,” I said.

  “Indi, it’s late and I’m tired. Can we just talk tomorrow?”

  “It’s important,” I said. “Meet you there in five minutes.”

  Before Marcus could protest, I closed my window, and pulled my blinds shut. I slid on a pair of Mudd jeans, pulled a thick sweatshirt over my head, slipped on my sneakers and grabbed my jacket. I tiptoed lightly down the stairs, careful not to wake anyone in the house; didn’t want to be questioned about where it was I was going at that hour, especially by Daddy. He wouldn’t understand. I slowly pulled the front door opened, crept outside and onto the porch. The cool Atlanta night air immediately brushed across my face, causing me to frown as I braced against it. I pulled my jacket tighter and made my way to the side of the house, and down to the creek behind my house.

  When I got to the bottom of the hill, there was no sign of Marcus. Had he stood me up? How could I blame him after the way I’d treated him? I shivered as the cold air reached my backside, had somehow crept up through the legs of my jeans. It was too cold to wait much longer, but I decided to give it a good five minutes before I chalked it up as a loss. I sat on the huge rock, praying that nothing would crawl out of the water or from beneath a rock. Wasn’t in the mood for critters tonight.

  “What are you doing out here in the middle of the night, girl?” Marcus asked. Startled me, as he walked up from behind.

  “Waiting for you.” I smiled when I saw him. He was so handsome, even in his plaid pajama pants and hooded sweatshirt. He had on tube socks with the slippers that hugged his feet. A baseball cap was turned backward on his head. “Wanted to tell you thanks for the gift.”

  “You could’ve told me that from your bedroom window.”

  “I know, but I wanted to see you.” I flirted with Marcus, my next-door neighbor, who I suddenly found myself attracted to. “Where did you find a doll like that? You had to search high and low for it.”

  “Can’t tell you where I found it. It’s a secret.”

  “I appreciate it. It was very thoughtful. The best gift I got this year.”

  It was the truth. Although my parents had spent tons of money on the stuff they bought me, I didn’t appreciate it as much as I did Raggedy Ann.

  “You’re welcome,” he said. “It’s late. Why aren’t you in the bed?”

  “Because I wanted to talk,” I said.

  “Talk about what?”

  “You were right all along, Marcus. About Quincy. I saw him at the movies tonight. He was with Patrice. She was all up on him and stuff, and he disrespected me right there in front of everybody.”

  He was unfazed by the news and just looked at me.

  “Did you think I was just telling you about Quincy to hurt you?” he asked.

  “I thought you were jealous of him.”

  “I had no reason to be jealous, Indi.” He lifted his cap and ran his hand over the waves in his hair. “I told you that stuff because I didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “I know that now, Marcus,” I told him. “And I know that you didn’t have anything to do with Jade moving away either. I’m sorry for that too—for treating you bad.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Indi. I’m not mad anymore,” he said, and sat on the rock next to me. “Remember my little friend, Justin?”

  “Yeah, the boy you been tutoring in math.”

  “He had a stroke on the other day, and he didn’t survive it.”

  “You mean he died?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Man, I’m sorry to hear that. I know you were crazy about him,” I said, remembering how Marcus’s eyes always lit up when he talked about Justin. My heart ached for him. “I hope his mother is okay. I prayed for him once. I guess my prayer didn’t get through in time.”

  “Or maybe it did get through, but God had another plan.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe,” I said. “Marcus, are you still interested in taking me to a movie sometime?”

  “Nah. It’s not really appropriate for me to be taking someone else’s girl to the movies,” he said.

  “I just told you, I’m not Quincy’s girl anymore.”

  “You’re not my girl either,” he said.

  I deserved that, and whatever tongue-lashing he had in store for me.

  “That’s true.” I sighed. It was getting cold, and I was anxious to get inside and to my warm bed. Didn’t want to embarrass myself by reaching out to him, and having him reject me. I wasn’t prepared for any more hurt. “I’m going inside.”

  “Cool,” he said, and sat there as I stood and headed up the hill. “Hey, Indi.”

  “Yeah?” I stopped in my tracks. Turned toward Marcus. He was standing now. Waited for him to speak. He started walking towards me.

  “You wanna be my girl?” he asked, and in my heart I knew that I did.

  I thought back to the time that Quincy asked me that same question, remembered how unsure I was, and even after I said “yes.” Remembered thinking, “wow, the most popular guy in school wants to date me.” I thought it was a privilege and an honor that he chose me. But after giving it some serious thought, I realized that it was a privilege and an honor for him to have a girl like me. One who was not so quick to give it up to any boy, the first chance she got. I might not be the prettiest girl, or the smartest girl, my body was still a little underdeveloped, and I could still whip all of the neighborhood boys in a game of one-on-one in the middle of Madison Place. Which meant I was a borderline tomboy. But the truth was, I was still made of the good stuff. How did Nana put it? I’m from good cloth.

  “Yes,” I said to Marcus. “Yes, I will be your girl.”

  He never said another word, just moved closer to me. Pulled me into his strong embrace, wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, and just held me.

  Chapter 26

  Indigo

  Halftime.

  My nerves were on edge as I stood in the doorway of the gymnasium, my little short skirt creeping up my backside. My hair flying everywhere as my leotard top hugged my chest. I glanced over at Tameka. She winked, but I could tell that she was just as nervous as I was.

  “You ready?” she mouthed.

  I nodded a “yes” before the music echoed through the gym. An old school tune, “Brick House” by the Commodores, bounced off the walls as Tameka and I ran to t
he center of the floor, posted up and began to shake booties. We led the routine for our dance team, shaking to the music for at least three minutes before the rest of the team joined us on the floor for their part. The entire student body cheered as we did our thing. Some people were shaking in the stands. Boys were whistling, and others were clapping.

  We performed to three different songs, and after the third performance, sweat poured from my forehead and I used the back of my hand to wipe it away. Miss Martin winked and smiled as we took a bow. I was glad it was over. Glad that everyone remembered their parts, and didn’t stumble over clumsy feet. In perfect formation, we exited the gym, shaking our hips as the music trailed off. Quincy was standing next to the bleachers with all of his boys from the football team. Even though football season was over, they still hung together like a posse or something. When I looked up, his eyes met mine. He blew me a kiss, and then wormed over toward me.

  “You were good out there, Indi.” He smiled. “Girl, you can dance.”

  “Thanks,” I said and kept moving.

  “Me and Patrice ain’t together no more,” he went on to say, and then grinned.

  The entire football team heard him and all eyes were on me for a response to his little announcement. I glanced at Tameka, who was pulling up the rear of the dance team line. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

  “You wanna go out with me sometime?” Quincy went on to ask. This caught the attention of every person within earshot. It was as if we were on candid camera or something. I stood there, not really contemplating an answer. I already had one. But I was in awe that he would even ask me such a question.