He plays baseball, which is a nice change of pace for me since Zane and I usually only talk about football. And since I play softball, I understand the dynamics of the game. We talk about our school’s team and how we think next season will be for both of us. I find myself looking forward to going back to school, which I thought would be impossible. It’s nice to have something to look forward to again, with Zane leaving for college soon, and with what I just witnessed, it’s a pleasant feeling.
A couple hours have passed since I sat down and starting talking with Gunnar. I haven’t seen Zane again since the show he put on by the truck, but maybe that’s for the best since everything still feels raw. I’ve slowly been sobering up and drinking water since I should head home soon. Having Gunnar here making me laugh makes it so I don’t need the alcohol to numb the pain. Looking into his eyes and talking with him feels like having a nice cool ointment over an open wound; I can still feel the cut, but it isn’t blaringly obvious now. We actually have a lot in common. Maybe I should see where this goes with him if he is interested like I think he is. I did say that I should get out more and possibly start dating. This could be my chance.
I take a look at my watch and see that it is almost 3 in the morning. I’m pretty sure I’ve sobered up enough that I can drive home now. “I should probably get going, I have to be up early tomorrow.” I stand up and look down at Gunnar to say goodbye. He surprises me when he stands and takes my hand. “Do you really have to go?” He’s holding my hand and looking at me like he doesn’t want to let me go.
I open my mouth to answer him when Zane walks up. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Let’s go.” He takes hold of my other hand and pulls me towards him, which causes me to break the contact I had with Gunnar. Zane’s attitude instantly pisses me off, so I yank my hand out of his. “What are you doing?” I hiss. He turns around and stares at me, then glares over my shoulder at Gunnar as he walks up behind me and takes my hand again. Zane doesn’t say anything for a moment, he just looks where my hand is joined with Gunnar’s.
“Let’s go Danielle, I’m taking you home,” he says through his teeth. If he thinks that he can come over here and demand that I go with him after everything that happened tonight, he better think again. “I didn’t come here with you Zane. I drove myself, remember? So I’ll leave when I’m ready.” Oh shit, he really looks pissed now. Well, he can just get over it; I’m tired of his shit. One minute he acts like he doesn’t want anything to do with me and the next he acts like there is nothing wrong.
He walks up to me and leans down so he is at eye level with me. “You’ve been drinking. You aren’t driving tonight,” he almost growls at me. “Thanks for your concern, but I can take care of myself.” I turn to walk around him, pulling Gunnar along with me, which just pisses Zane off more. He pulls my hand out of Gunnar’s grip and takes off toward my car, dragging me along after him.
Gunnar must have finally had enough because pulls me away from Zane and steps between us. “Listen man, I’m not sure who you are but she said she doesn’t want to go with you. Just leave her alone, alright?” I lean to look around him, but he blocks me with his arm to keep me behind him. The move kind of pisses me off because I don’t need protection from Zane, but in a way, it’s sweet since he doesn’t know what he is dealing with when it comes to Zane. He doesn’t know our history, so he is being cautious and protective. Like I said, not necessary, but sweet all the same.
“Who the fuck are you?” Zane is toe to toe with him now. Fuck, this is not good. I need to stop this before something happens. I step around Gunnar and between the two, and face off with a furious Zane. “Not like it’s any of your business, but if you must know, his name is Gunnar.” As I say this, Gunnar grabs me around my waist and pulls me up against his front. Wow, his stomach feels like steel!
“Look, I don’t want any trouble. But if she doesn’t want to leave with you, I’ll make sure she gets home safely. I was going to offer to give her a ride home anyway,” Gunnar says calmly. I look up at him and smile, then back over to Zane. “Baby girl…” he starts, but doesn’t finish. He still looks upset, but now defeated. “I’ll be fine Zane. I’ll even text you when I get home, ok?” I add the last part so he can relax a little. I know he cares about me and doesn’t want me to get hurt, and since Gunnar is new around here, he thinks he is a threat. Little does he know that the threat to my wellbeing is himself.
He looks me in the eye and finally agrees. “If I don’t hear from you in an hour, I will come looking for you. And you,” he points to Gunnar, “if anything happens to her, I will hunt you down and bury you where no one will ever find you. You got me?” Fuck Zane is hot when he is pissed and in protective mode. I need to stop thinking like that though, because Zane and I will never be. “I said I would text when I got home and I will, but you will not threaten Gunnar.” He makes me so angry sometimes! “It wasn’t a threat baby girl, it was a promise.” He gives one last glare to Gunnar, looks at me and then walks away.
“Well, that was fun,” Gunnar says as he squeezes my side. “I sorry about that. He’s a good friend and just worries about me,” I whisper to him. I’m so embarrassed right now. I wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see me again.
“Hey,” he says and grabs my chin to force me to look at him. “I completely understand. He doesn’t know who I am and wanted to make sure you were safe. I would have done the same thing if I were in his shoes.” I look at him doubtfully. “Well, I still feel horrible that he acted that way towards you.” He gives me a small laugh. “Don’t worry about it beautiful. Let’s get you home.” He just called me beautiful. No one has ever said that to me before.
We start walking in the opposite direction from my car which has me a little worried. Maybe I should have gone with Zane. “I’ll give you a ride. I’m sure your car will be ok here until the morning.” We stop at a black truck. Holy shit, his truck is huge! He opens the door and I just stare up inside. I’m not sure if I should take a ride from him, but I really want to spend more time with him. I look at the truck, then up at him. “That’s a long ways up.” I laugh nervously. He grabs me by the waist and hoists me inside. “Up you go beautiful.” He gives me a wink and closes the door to walk around to his side.
Once he is settled in, he starts the truck and turns the music down. “Where to?” he asks. I smile and give him directions to my house. We keep a steady conversation going the whole way. I can’t stop staring at him, just waiting for the next time he’ll glance my way.
When we pull up to my house, I turn to thank him for the ride and grab hold of the door handle. Before I can open the door though, Gunnar grabs my hand. I turn to look at him. “When can I see you again?” he asks. I give him a nervous smile. “Um… I could give you my number if you want?” He reaches over and cups my cheek, then slowly leans in towards me. Oh God, is he going to kiss me? “I’ve wanted to kiss you since you first sat by me.” He doesn’t wait for my reply, just presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes, wanting to experience my first kiss fully. It’s a gentle kiss, but makes me feel good.
He pulls away slowly and I open my eyes to look at him. “Wow…” I whisper to myself. He gives me a sexy smile and pecks my lips briefly once more. “Give me your phone.” I hand it over and watch as he programs his number. Then he sends a text to himself so he can save my number. “Call me tomorrow and I’ll take you to pick up your car.” I nod and turn to get out of the truck. “Goodnight beautiful,” he says when I’m out the door. “Night Gunnar,” I tell him. I turn around and walk in a daze to my front door. He waits till I’m inside before he drives away.
I walk up to my room, get into my pajamas and slide into bed. I can’t believe he kissed me! It was really sweet. I can’t wait to see him again tomorrow.
I close my eyes, but a couple seconds later I hear my phone chime. I grab it and see I have a new text message.
Zane: Where are you?!
Me: Home. In bed. I’m fine.
>
Zane: You were supposed to text me as soon as you got home!
Me: I forgot, so sue me.
Zane: Smartass
Me: Jerk!
Zane: Night Baby Girl ;)
Me: Night Zane :)
Well, at least things seem better with me and him now. I still can’t believe I saw him having sex with some random girl, but I don’t have any say in what he does. Tonight wasn’t as bad as it could be, and I have Gunnar to thank for that. Remembering what I saw still hurts, and I don’t think any guy will be able to take that away fully, but it’s a start I suppose. Maybe with time things will grow with Gunnar and me, and then things won’t be so awkward with Zane. I’m just glad I still have him as my friend, and in the end, that’s all I really care about.
Suddenly, my phone goes off again. Zane is the only one I really talk to, but I just talked with him so I have no clue who it is. I pick up my phone again and open up my messages.
Gunnar: Sweet dreams beautiful. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
Me: Goodnight. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough!
I close my phone and fall asleep with a smile on my face. Things may be looking up for me. I just hope that I can get over whatever was going on with me and Zane so it doesn’t ruin what I might have with Gunnar. No one will ever compare to Zane, but it’s time I get over it and move on with my life. There’s no point in pining over a guy that I could never have.
When I got up this morning, I had a message from Gunnar telling me to text him when I was up and ready to go and get my car. I let him know to give me an hour and I would be ready to leave. I went downstairs to make sure Gram was doing ok, and that she ate something for breakfast, and then headed up to my room for a shower.
I throw on my white halter dress with the brown braided belt and slip on my brown cowboy boots. Then I curl my hair and put some makeup on. I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard, but I still want to look good.
I hear the doorbell, so I run downstairs to answer it. When I open the door, I’m surprised to see Zane instead of Gunnar. “Oh, hey Zane. What are you doing here?” I ask. He looks me up and down and a slow smiles creeps onto his face. “Hey baby girl, you look beautiful today.” I smile shyly and tell him thanks. It’s so strange that I’ve never been called beautiful before in my life by a guy, and now I’ve heard it twice in less than a day, once from a guy I hope to have a relationship with and once from one who I’m in love with but will never have.
I step outside on the porch and sit on the swing. “So what’s up?” I say as I start to swing a little. Zane just stands off to the side and regards me quietly. “I came by to take you to get your car. I assumed you left it at the lake last night. Then I was thinking we could order some pizzas and watch movies.” Well that’s surprising. I didn’t think I would see him today, let alone have him offer to take me to pick up my car.
I open my mouth to answer him when I see Gunnar pull up to my house. I get up to walk over by Zane and give him a small smile. “Thanks, but actually Gunnar already said he would take me.” Just as I finish saying that, Gunnar comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. “Hey beautiful,” he says before I feel his lips brush the top of my head. I giggle, yes giggle, and turn around to face him. “Hey.” He’s dressed in a black shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans that fit him like a second skin.
I look back and notice Zane is just standing there staring at me. “Hey man, Zane right?” Gunnar asks and holds out his hand. “Yeah,” Zane says as he stares at the outstretched hand Gunnar offers for a couple seconds before taking his hand in a firm shake. They both seem to be putting way too much strength behind their handshake, almost like they are testing who is stronger.
“Well, we should get going,” I say and start walking down the steps. “I’ll call you when I get back to make plans for tonight,” I call back to Zane. They both release each other’s hand and Gunnar turns to follow me. “Yeah… I’ll see you later baby girl,” Zane says, then walks over to his house.
Once Gunnar and I are in his truck and driving back to the lake, he finally asks the question I’ve been dreading. “So, what’s the deal with you and Zane?” God, how in the hell am I supposed to explain this to him when I barely know how to describe our relationship myself lately?
“Well, it’s kind of a long story,” I start, not really knowing where to start. “I’ve got all the time in the world, beautiful,” He says with a smile and then he winks as soon as I look over at him. Ok, well I guess I should just start at the beginning. It’s not like there’s anything to be ashamed of or that I need to hide. But maybe I’ll keep the part where I may have feelings for him that go beyond friendship. Yeah, I’m definitely keeping quiet about that.
“Zane and I have been friends since I was thirteen. And as you can see, we are also neighbors. I started going over to play at their house when my grandmother had things to do or when I wanted to give her a break. It didn’t take long for us to build a close relationship. We were like the three musketeers; Zane, Zeke and I,” I tell him.
“Who’s Zeke? I don’t think I’ve met him yet.” Zeke, God I miss him. So much. I look down at my hands, and figure now is as good a time as ever to tell him what happened. “Zeke was Zane’s brother, and has been gone a little over a year now. He was a Marine stationed over in Iraq…” God, this was so hard. I haven’t really talked about Zeke in a long time, and when I do, it’s only with Zane.
I feel a tear slide down my cheek and go to wipe it away. “He, um, he was doing a routine security check when they were ambushed. He was shot and died before he could get to a hospital,” I whisper. Gunnar reaches over and grabs my hand. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He rubs his thumb along my hand, comforting me. I don’t reply because I never really understood why people say they are sorry anyway, like they had a hand in what happened.
After a couple minutes of silence, I continue. “After Zeke died, Zane and I became even closer. He’s always been there for me and I’ve always tried to be there for him. He took the loss of his brother pretty hard.” I stare out the window and try to clear my head a little. It’s always hard talking about Zeke, but now that I’ve told him, we shouldn’t have to talk about it again.
“And that’s pretty much it. He’s my best friend, well, I should say my only friend.” I look over and give him a little smile. “You mentioned you started going over there because of your grandmother. Do you live with her?” Of course he wouldn’t miss that part. Now he’s going to want to know about my parents. I guess it’s better to get all the hard stuff out of the way now so we don’t have talk about them anymore.
“Yes, I’ve lived with my grandmother since before I can remember. My mother died when I was three and right after, my father signed his rights over to my grandmother. She’s been raising me ever since.” There, now it’s out there and he knows.
He starts to say something but I cut him off. “I really don’t want to talk about it, if that’s ok. It was a long time ago, so can we please drop it?” I say and look out my window. It comes out a little harsher than I wanted it to, but I just can’t stand talking about my past. It brings up too many emotions and feelings of being unwanted. I hope he understands, but I don’t want to dwell on the past anymore.
“Yeah baby, sure. What would you like to talk about?” he asks, and squeezes my hand. I glance over at him to gauge his reaction. He doesn’t look upset or disappointed, which makes me let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“Tell me about Florida,” I say since I’ve always wanted to go there. I’m even thinking about applying to college there when I graduate. Gunnar smiles and tells me about where he used to live, his family and friends from back home. It’s nice hearing about his life.
When we pull in by my car, I turn to thank him for taking me. “What are you doing tonight?” he asks me. Tonight is Saturday and I didn’t have plans before, but Zane did mention possibly hanging out later. I should check with him first since I want to spend as much
time with him as possible. He leaves Tuesday for college.
“Well, Zane mentioned possibly hanging out tonight. I wanted to check with him to see what he has planned because he leaves in a couple days for school.” I hope this doesn’t upset Gunnar. I know sometimes guys get jealous when girls have guy friends, but he just gives me a smile and leans over to gives me a chaste kiss. “Of course beautiful, I understand. You should spend time with him. Just text me later if you want to hang out, ok?” I smile back at him and nod, then head over to my car.
He ends up following me to my house to make sure I make it there without problems. When I pull in my driveway and get out to wave him off, he surprises me by getting out of his truck. He walks over to me, grabs my hips and pushes me back against my car. Then he grabs my face with both hands and devours my mouth. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Where last night his kisses were soft and sweet, now they are hard and demanding.
By the time he pulls away, I’m a hot, breathless mess. I slowly open my eyes, gasping for air. “What was that for?” I finally ask. He smirks at me and kisses me one more time on my forehead. “I wanted to make sure my girl doesn’t forget about me tonight.” Did he just call me his girl? I kind of like the sound of that.
“Your girl?” I ask nervously. I don’t know why I’m so nervous around him, but I feel almost giddy at the thought that he wants me. It’s a new feeling for me. Besides my gram wanting to take care of me, and Zane and Zeke wanting me as a friend, I’ve never been wanted before. And for some reason, knowing that Gunnar wants me as more than a friend tops it all.
Rewriting Destiny Page 4
