Desire and Duty

by Marie Medina

  “You all right?” he asked after more than a minute had passed.

  “Just so nice to have someone to talk to and confide in.” She looked up. “Someone to hold me.”

  “I’ll do that as long as you want me to.”

  “All night?”

  Orman swallowed. “If you wish. You just don’t want to be alone?” He’d do anything she wanted, anything she needed.

  Gwynn nodded.

  Pulling her closer, Orman caressed her hair. “Then you won’t be.”

  ****

  Gwynn walked along the breezeway where they hung the linens to dry and felt all of the sheets as she passed them. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around so she grabbed a basket and began taking them down. She’d pulled about half of them off the lines when she noticed someone helping her. That someone kept glancing at her.

  “Hello, Tilly,” she said, throwing two more clothespins into the little basket hanging on one of the stone pillars.

  Tilly grinned at her. “Details. Now.”

  “Details? About what?” Gods, you’d think I was a vampire who just found her mate the way they’re carrying on. Can’t my love life be at least semi-private for a little bit?

  Tilly folded the sheet in her hands over her arm and came right up to Gwynn. “What you were doing last night.”

  “Sleeping, you mean? That’s not very interesting. I didn’t even dream anything. But I’m very rested, if you’re so interested.” She knew Tilly was referring to the fact that she’d slept in Orman’s room, but she wasn’t going to make this easy for Tilly.

  “I thought we were friends, you little hussy,” Tilly said with flimsy faux anger. She put the sheet in the basket and moved on to the next one. She continued to eye Gwynn and eventually said, “I guess it is private, considering what you two were doing.”

  Gwynn picked up her own basket and said, “Sleeping. That’s what I was doing. I simply wasn’t doing it alone or in my own bed.” She turned away and said over her shoulder, “A girl doesn’t kiss and tell.”

  “But if you were only sleeping, there wouldn’t be anything to tell, would there?” She took down the last sheet and joined Gwynn in walking into the castle. “So is there something to tell?”

  Gwynn looked around. “It goes no further?”

  Tilly nodded enthusiastically.

  “I helped him clean something up, and then we went for a little walk. I was tired and feeling kind of down and stressed. Lord Vane’s like another brother to me. One who actually has time for me, unlike my real ones. I’ve been worrying about him, and it just got to me. I said I didn’t want to be alone, and I went to his room with him. He was very kind, and he held me. That’s all.”

  Tilly sighed. “That’s just as good as what I was expecting. Maybe better.” She practically beamed at Gwynn. “He’s just so sweet. You were right with what you said yesterday. Most of the men here are just looking for a conquest. Or they want to marry you so you can cook and clean for them and start having babies.”

  “When you meet the right one, he’ll just want you. He might want marriage and the babies, too, but he’ll be focused on you.” They entered the folding room and put their baskets on the large table in the middle. “He did kiss me when we parted in the foyer. I think he did it to embarrass me.”

  “I’m sure he wanted to.”

  She laughed. “Oh, I’m not saying he didn’t want to. I’m just saying he waited until we were outside his study, where half a dozen people saw us.”

  “Staking his claim, I’d say.” Tilly dumped her basket and began pulling the pillowcases out and folding them first.

  “Maybe.”

  “And why is that embarrassing? Just a kiss.”

  “Everyone’s so stirred up. That’s the thing. Like we’re important or something. Is everyone that bored?”

  “It’s exciting. That’s all. Everyone likes Orman, and he does nothing but work. Folks may be gossiping, I guess, but they’re happy for him. And you.”

  Gwynn shrugged. “I’ll give you that. It’s not malicious. All giggling and teasing, like a bunch of children.”

  “You going to tell him that you’re,” she paused and looked around, “a virgin?”

  “Aye. It’s not fair to not tell him. I’m sure he’ll want to talk about that kind of stuff. He’s so thorough I can’t imagine he’d be flippant or rush something like that. He’s made it known he wants that. You know, when I’m ready.”

  Tilly smoothed the wrinkles out of the pillowcase in front of her. “I’m glad I’ve waited, too. There was that almost time I told you about. He was nice at the time and said it was fine, but he hasn’t really talked to me since. It just wasn’t right.”

  Gwynn began folding a larger sheet, spreading it over one end of the table. “What’s the rush? Plenty of time for all of that. You’re even younger than I am.”

  “I know.” She put her basket on the floor and began tackling the sheets after putting the pillowcases on a shelf. “I think it’s seeing Lord Ash with his mate that got me thinking the last few days. Locke is just mad about him. They’re so lovely together.”

  “They do seem happy.” She wondered how they were doing on their mission. They’d probably reach Kyo’s dominion today.

  “I think it’s romantic. Them going to find Lord Vane’s mate together. How far is it to the lycan settlement?”

  “About three days ride at a regular pace, but I’d bet they hurried it along and rode until nightfall. I’m thinking they should get there today at some point. They rode out pretty early day before yesterday.”

  Another girl came in with some kitchen towels. She smiled at them and began folding at another table. Gwynn and Tilly went on in silence until they were done, and Gwynn left the room first. Tilly came running after her a few moments later.

  “Hey, I’m know I’m teasing you, but I’m really happy.” Tilly smiled. “He’s wonderful, and you know he’ll treat you well. I hope things work out.”

  Gwynn couldn’t imagine things not working out, but she didn’t want to say that. If Mrs. Allen got wind of that, the castle gossips would have them engaged by nightfall. “He’s a good man. There’s no denying it. But we’ll see. Liking someone doesn’t mean you can love them.”

  Tilly seemed to think about this. “I guess.” She walked toward the stairs. “See you later.”

  “Aye, keep out of trouble.”

  “You, too,” Tilly said with a grin before mounting the stairs.

  Gwynn moved toward the family wing to go check on Vane, but she stopped in the hallway when she saw Orman talking with someone out in the courtyard. She watched him for a moment. He pushed his dark hair off his face and nodded, his expression serious. Until now, she’d never really noticed how broad shouldered and muscular he was. Since she was only about five feet tall, she’d always been very aware of how tall he was, towering over her by more than a foot.

  “He is handsome, isn’t he?” Lady Evane said at her side.

  Gwynn gasped in a breath and turned to face her. “Yes, he is, my lady.”

  She smiled apologetically. “Sorry I startled you. I thought you saw me walk up, but I don’t blame you for being distracted.”

  She hadn’t told anyone else this yet, but she felt that Evane might understand. Gwynn didn’t know exactly how old she was, but given Vane’s age she had to at least be in her seventies, if not much older. She’d certainly seen more of life and the world than Gwynn had. “I feel awful I didn’t see how he felt about me. But now as I think back, it’s so obvious.”

  “It happens that way a lot. I wouldn’t worry about it. He certainly isn’t. Just relax and let what happens happen. These things have a way of working out.” She gazed off, a slight frown on her face. “Most of the time.”

  Gwynn took Evane’s hand and squeezed it, knowing the vampire was thinking of her son’s illness and the situation with his fated mate. “There’s more hope now, you know? Of finding Arion.”

  Evane smiled, but it looked f
orced, just as Vane’s smiles often did lately. “There is. They were fated to each other for a reason. Maybe Vane got sick because the gods know how stubborn men are.”

  Gwynn laughed softly. “Aye, could be.”

  Evane traced the pattern in the marble on the windowsill before shrugging. “We can only wait and see. If they were to actually reconcile, Vane would be so happy. I’m tired of seeing that sadness behind his eyes.”

  Gwynn sighed. “He deserves to be happy. He works so hard to make life here good for everyone.”

  Evane smiled with pride now. “That’s why he was chosen. Everyone saw how perfect he would be for this place. The vampire before him was horrible. Just a monster really.”

  “Aye, I’ve heard my father tell some stories.”

  Evane rubbed one eye and seemed to shake herself. “Enough sad talk. I do hope you two are making enough time for each other. There’s more than enough other people to get things done around here.”

  Gwynn tried not to blush, but she still felt a little warmth in her cheeks. “We’ve been spending our evenings together. It’s … nice.”

  “Nice? Darling, snap him out of that. Have you seen him at a barn raising? You need to get a closer look at those muscles. They’re delicious.”

  Gwynn stammered and literally couldn’t speak as she watched Evane cast an appreciative glance out the window. She finally burst out laughing. “Aye, I am taking more notice of his, uh, physique.”

  Evane giggled. “Then get on with it. He bends over backwards to please everyone. I’m sure that’s true in bed as well.”

  “Probably,” Gwynn said, truly blushing now. She cleared her throat and said, “I’m going to look in on Lord Vane. Was he sleeping?”

  Sobering, Evan shook her head. “No, he’s very restless. I was reading to him but needed to stretch my legs.”

  “You refresh yourself. I’ll stay with him for a bit.”

  “Thank you, sweetheart. You take such good care of everyone, but take care of you and that wonderful man as well.” She gave Gwynn’s hand a squeeze and then headed in the other direction.

  “Aye, my lady. I will.” Gwynn took one last look at Orman before heading on to Lord Vane’s room.

  Chapter Three

  Orman sorted through all of the new letters, his impatience getting to him. He knew it was unrealistic to expect any news yet, but he kept hoping. It was also possible that Ash and Locke might come straight back with Arion if they found him.

  And it was also possible they wouldn’t find him. Orman’s chest felt tight as he thought about that. He’d begun training to be a steward when he was fourteen, and he’d come to Vane’s dominion when he was only twenty-three because his mentor had been so impressed by him. Vane’s former steward had finished his training up and stayed on for a year to help him settle in. Orman never wanted to leave or be anyone else’s steward. Vampires lived so long he’d imagined he would always be with Vane, but now? He couldn’t bear to think about Vane dying.

  He opened all the letters and began sorting them. There wasn’t anything that important, so he organized them and left them on his desk for later. He went down to the blood storeroom to ensure everything was in order there. Most vampires drank donated blood until they found their fated mates, as drinking from a living person often led to romantic and sexual attachments. It was just too complicated. He looked over the ledgers and did a sweep of the shelves. Everything seemed to be fine, so he headed for the stables.

  He spotted Gwynn with Vane, walking above him along the open walkway that connected the family wing to the rest of the castle. Gwynn was saying something to him, and he had his gaze focused ahead. He looked as if he felt better, but from this distance, Orman couldn’t really tell. He walked through the stables and made sure all the stable boys and extra hands were going about their business. The stalls were clean, and all the horses seemed content and attended to. He made the rest of his rounds, ending up in the kitchen eventually.

  Mrs. Allen nodded to acknowledge him and went on kneading some bread. “About time, I’d say.”

  “About time for what?” Orman asked, wondering if she’d sent for him or something.

  “For you to get on with it.” She handed the ball of dough off to the girl beside her and began wiping her hands. “What else in the world could I mean? It’s the only thing you’ve ever taken your own sweet time to take care of.”

  “Well, then perhaps you should’ve nudged me. You’re right. I delayed far too long.”

  “I’ve got a nudge for you. A ring. Now. All those soldiers from the capital will be coming through the land soon. You need to settle things before then.”

  “I can’t propose to a girl two days after telling her how I feel.”

  “Why not? It’s like something in a novel. Romantic.”

  He knew it might be a mistake to confide in her, but still he said, “Trust me, I’d propose this moment if I thought she’d say yes, but—”

  The look on Mrs. Allen’s face was much too pleased, and her gaze was focused ever so slightly behind him. He turned and, of course, Gwynn stood right there looking wide eyed, frozen in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

  As he fumbled for the right thing to say, Gwynn strode into the room and gave him a mischievous grin. “Right this moment, my answer would be … let me think about it.” She walked on past him. “Just for your reference.” She kept going until she’d passed through another door.

  Mrs. Allen glared at him and pointed. “Well, get on after her.”

  “And what am I supposed to say?”

  “You’ll think of something.” She moved around behind him and gave him a shove. “Scoot.”

  Orman considered going in another direction, but he went after Gwynn when Mrs. Allen shot another glare his way. He caught up with her quickly enough, and he wondered if she’d purposely slowed her pace in case he’d decided to pursue her.

  “Sorry about that,” he said.

  “Why?” she asked, folding her arms and looking up at him.

  “Discussing something like that so openly.”

  She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Everyone’s talking about us anyway. I’d rather they repeat truth they heard from our own mouths.”

  “I guess I should be pleased you didn’t faint or run away.”

  One eyebrow shot up. “You think you could make me faint?”

  “Hmmm. You’re right. I probably couldn’t, though I would catch you if you did.”

  “How gallant of you.”

  “I’m trying. I can’t say I’ve had that much experience. Once I left home and came here, I hardly had any time for a private life.”

  “But I’m sure there were plenty of girls.”

  He laughed. “Plenty? Is two plenty? I’m not so sure.”

  “Two? Really? That can’t be right.”

  “Well, it is. There was Mary in the castle where I began my steward training. I was eighteen. But her father had other plans for her, so that didn’t last. And then there was a girl named Enid here about a year after I arrived. She lost interest when someone highly favored by the king looked her way.”

  “What a bitch!” Gwynn said. She gasped and slapped her hand over her mouth, glancing around.

  Orman laughed and leaned closer. “I think we’re alone. Don’t worry about it. I’m happy you can summon such ire on my behalf.”

  “Ire, hmmm? Disgust, more like.” She shook her head. “Why do people do it? How can they just treat each other that way?”

  “I don’t know. She obviously didn’t love me, though she’d told me she did.”

  Gwynn’s gaze shot up to his. She hesitated and then asked, “Did you love her?”

  “I cared for her very much, but no. And I told her as much. I said I thought I could love her but didn’t want to rush into anything. I think she just thought about what she might gain being married to me.” When Gwynn’s expression darkened, he said, “I’m not saying she didn’t like me, but she obviously wanted something more th
an love from a marriage.”

  “Aye, I know some don’t have it so good at home or with their lords. I shouldn’t judge.”

  “Judge all you like. I love seeing you angry on my behalf.”

  “Sexy, is it?” she said, a teasing lilt to her voice.

  “You’re always sexy to me.”

  She stopped and put her hands on her hips. “Am I now?” She looked at her dress, which had a grass stain and some kind of black smudge on it, not to mention a slightly frayed hem. He followed her gaze as she noted them, but they didn’t bother him at all. She looked back up and said, “Glad someone thinks so.” She glanced around. “I’ll see you tonight, if that’s all right.”

  “Yes,” he said softly. “I’d love that.”

  She gave him one final smile. “So will I.” She turned and waved. “Until then.”

  He waved as well, feeling eyes on him as he did so.

  He simply didn’t care.

  ****

  Gwynn woke up in the middle of the night. Her days had been full and long, and her evenings with Orman were the only thing keeping her going as they waited for word about Vane’s mate. She’d spent the last three nights in Orman’s bed, and he’d been a perfect gentleman.

  She had come to the conclusion that she didn’t want that anymore.

  Rolling over, she slid her hand over his chest. She ran it back toward his waist and pushed the material aside to touch his skin. She’d gotten a feel of his muscles as he’d held her the last few nights, but really caressing them was a completely new experience.

  He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, turning to her automatically with concern on his face. “Everything all right?”

  “Yes,” she said as she continued to caress him.

  To her surprise, he moved away for a moment and lit a couple of candles. But when he turned back, his brown eyes darkened as he gazed at her. “Want to see what I’m doing, if I’m not jumping to the wrong conclusion here.”

  She went into his arms when he reached for her and said, “No, I think we’re thinking the same thing, as usual.” She hesitated as she relaxed against his body. “But there is one little thing.”