[Finding Emma 03.0] Megan's Hope

by Steena Holmes

  “The king, queen, and the princess.”

  “Is she an only child?”

  Hannah shrugged. “According to Emma.”

  Megan slowly nodded but kept any comments she had to herself. Emma was having a hard time with the idea of having a baby brother or sister, and it was coming out in different ways. This was just another way for Emma to voice her opinion.

  Megan took another look at the family in the carriage.

  “Hannah is the queen...” Her voice drifted off at the look on her daughter’s face. She could have sworn the queen had a belly the size of a beach volleyball.

  Megan pointed to her stomach and then to the drawing on the ground. Hannah nodded and then smiled. Megan blew her a kiss while Emma looked elsewhere.

  When they’d broken the news to the girls about the baby, Hannah had been ecstatic. She was so excited and asked a million questions while Alexis only asked one: where would the baby sleep? Emma had reached for a piece of paper and pencil from the middle of the kitchen table and began to draw, never once saying a word.

  “What do you think I should draw then? It looks like everything is covered. You’ve got the castle, the princess and her family, the royal dragon...” Megan glanced around for an empty space on the sidewalk and had an idea.

  She knelt down and began to draw. She wasn’t the best artist in the world, so she hoped the girls would be able to tell what it was. She sketched the outline, added a few layers to her masterpiece, and then reached for a different colored chalk piece.

  “Oh...I know what that is!” Emma knelt beside her and helped her. Megan didn’t really mind; her daughters were better at this than she was. It didn’t take long for Hannah and Alexis to join her, but the other two girls drew their own masterpieces. Once they finished, Megan stood, rubbed her hands on her jeans before she could stop herself and grinned. There on the sidewalk were three amazing cakes fit for royalty.

  “You know what I’m in the mood for now?” she said.

  “Cake?” Alexis’s eyes lit up at the idea.

  Megan nodded. She wasn’t sure, though, she could handle the baking process of the cake, but maybe, while the girls ate dinner with Peter, she could sneak over to Brewster’s Bakery and see whether Jean had anything she could take home. Or maybe she should call first and have Jan bring it out to her. Megan didn’t want to tempt fate and have the delicious smells in there upset her stomach.

  “Hey, Megan?” Peter stood on the porch and waved to her. “You probably don’t want to come in for a bit. Laurie is on her way over and offered to take you for a drive until I get the kitchen cleaned up after dinner.”

  Megan walked over to him and placed her arms around his waist. She rested her head on his chest. “Was this your idea or hers?”

  Peter wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “Mine. I promise tomorrow I’ll cook something that won’t smell so strong.”

  “Or I can plan to go for walks at night while you eat dinner,” she suggested. It was actually a good idea. She wasn’t able to get her runs in right now, so walking would be good for her.

  “That would work too.” Peter’s sigh of relief was loud enough for her to hear. “Do you know how hard it is to think of something that won’t upset your stomach? You can’t handle chicken, steak, onions, cheese, or cooked cauliflower. I won’t even try fish.”

  Megan wrinkled her nose at that. “Extra long walks with a protein shake sounds like the perfect answer. As long as all the windows are open and you promise to have it all cleaned up by the time I get back.”

  Peter placed a kiss on the top of her head. “It’s a deal. Anything for you.”

  June

  Jack hung up the phone and allowed Jackie to lead him to the kitchen table. He sat and she rolled up his sleeve to take his blood pressure. He already knew it was low. Too low.

  “I’m not sure if going today is such a good idea,” Jackie said to him.

  “I’m not letting my girl down. I don’t care if it kills me.” Despite the fact he gave her a good glare, he knew, deep down, she was right.

  “It probably would kill you, stubborn fool.” Jackie grumbled at him before she listened to his heartbeat and shook her head. “I’m going to see about getting you an earlier appointment. I don’t want you to wait another week to see the doctor.”

  “I’m not taking more meds.” The last round made him sicker than a dog and he’d had to cancel a few dates with his little girl. He wasn’t doing that again.

  “Have her parents bring her out here.” Doug handed him a mug of tea and sat down across from him. “You know she loves coming out here.”

  “I want to see her graduate.” He grunted as Jackie handed him a pill. “I promised.” Em had called this morning before school to make sure he was going to be there. Despite the rough morning, he’d made her a promise and he wasn’t about to break it.

  “You can’t drive.” Jackie stood there, her arms crossed as she waited for him to take the pill.

  “Then you’ll have to drive me.” He was going, no matter what any of them said. “But we need to leave soon. I want to stop and get her flowers.”

  “I’m coming too, then.” Doug sipped at his tea.

  Jack nodded. That was fine. Em loved Doug and the stories he would tell her and it would mean she wasn’t as focused on him. Maybe she wouldn’t notice how he was feeling.

  When he went to stand, the room spun. He was forced to grab the edge of the table while Jackie grabbed his other arm to steady him.

  “Jack...”

  He shook his head and focused on breathing. In and out. In and out. If it weren’t for Em graduating today, he would go and sit in his rocker and fall asleep. But he wasn’t sure how much more time he had with her, and he’d be damned if he let one more day slip from his fingers without her in it. He was going and that was that.

  “Doug, there’s a small wood box out in the shed. Can you get it for me? It’s tied with a red ribbon.” He’d spent the past few weeks making her a small chest for her dollhouse. The last time she’d come over, he’d found her playing in the blanket chest Dottie had kept at the edge of their bed. He’d found some spare quilting sheets Dottie had around the house and made what looked like a blanket, all folded up. At least, he hoped it looked like a blanket. He’d had to glue the edges together because his hands weren’t steady enough to hold a needle and thread.

  “I’ll meet you out in the truck, then?” Doug asked.

  Jack nodded his head while Jackie shook hers. “If you think I’m going to drive that piece of junk, you’re out of your mind. We’ll take my van. It’ll be easier for you to get in and out of, anyways.”

  Jack scowled. “I’m not going in no stinkin’ wheelchair.”

  “I never said you had to.” She patted him on the shoulder. “But the lift will make it easier for you to get in and out of the van.” She reached for her purse and medical bag and held her hand out for him to take.

  “You’re not taking that bag in with us.”

  “Of course not.”

  “And you’re not going to tell her I’m not feeling well?”

  She shook her head. “Well, I may tell Megan. You know she’ll ask anyways.”

  She was right. Megan would ask. She reminded him so much of his Mary, the way she wanted to take care of him, make sure he was okay...she was the daughter he’d lost, in a way.

  “You know Emma will figure it out though, right? She’s a smart little girl.”

  Jack shuffled his way to the front door where he reached for his cane.

  “Why don’t you suggest they come out here and she can make cookies with me while you relax in your chair, afterwards? She seems to be the best medicine for you anyways.” Jackie held the door open for him.

  “I might just do that. She likes to take care of me, saw Dottie do enough of that. But only if you’ll make a cake too, to celebrate her kindergarten graduation.”

  Doug waited by the van for them.

  “I’m sure Megan a
lready has a cake for her, but we could invite them all out here for a barbeque, if you promise to sit and relax and let Peter do the cooking.” Jackie gave him a stern look and he knew better than to complain or argue.

  “Just get me to the school and we’ll see how it goes.”

  He would get through this day, doing all he could to see his little girl smile, no matter what.

  July

  Megan plopped herself down on an empty bench, set the heavy bag she’d been carrying between her legs on the ground and leaned back. She was happy. Contented. Excited.

  Peter stood in line with the girls to ride the large Ferris wheel; Emma stood in front of him. Megan loved how they stood there: his hands rested on her shoulders while she stared up, her head tilted all the way back as she watched the wheel turn.

  And to think just last year, they’d all been here, at the fair but still separated.

  She scooted over a little as Jack made his way towards her. His hands were full of cotton candy, popcorn, and candied apples. She reached out and took the bags of cotton candy that dangled from his arms.

  “You shouldn’t have bought so much,” she said to him.

  “What kid doesn’t like all this sugar?” Jack muttered as he set everything down around him.

  “The girls could have shared one bag of cotton candy. They don’t need their own.” She shook her head but smiled at him before she reached for one of those bags and opened it.

  “Who said they were all for the kids?” Jack winked at her before his hand sneaked into the bag and he pulled out a handful of the pink sugary treat.

  They sat there in silence and watched the girls as they made their way onto the benches. Hannah and Alexis went first and Peter and Emma climbed into their own seat.

  “That was Dottie’s favorite ride. Every year we’d come and I swear, if she wasn’t on that ride at least three times before we left, she wasn’t satisfied. Something about being high up and able to see everything around her,” Jack mused.

  Megan remained quiet. She knew Jack needed to talk about Dottie, just like Emma needed to talk about her memories of the woman, but it didn’t mean Megan had to like it.

  “It was here, last year, that I saw my first glimpse of Emma.” She leaned forward and pointed towards the right. “Just over there, by those booths. I stopped to take a photo of the girls who’d just won some stuffed animals, and you were there. Both you and your wife, holding hands with Emma. I didn’t realize it though until later, when I looked at the images on my computer.” Megan sat back and shook her head. To think that if she hadn’t taken that photo, hadn’t stopped at that exact moment…she might still not have her little girl back.

  “I’ll never forget that fair. Em, she was happy. We all were.”

  Megan reached across and patted Jack’s arm. “Knowing she was happy, that she was safe and loved…it’s eased my heart in more ways than you could possibly imagine.”

  Jack nodded his head and ate more cotton candy.

  Megan waved at the girls as they slowly made their way to the very top. Megan knew Alexis would try to rock their seat and Hannah would shriek with a mixture of both fear and excitement.

  “French toast for dinner, I hear.” There was a smile on Jack’s face as he said it.

  “It was her number one choice. Strawberry banana, I believe.” It had been weird, too. When Megan had asked Emma what she wanted for her birthday dinner, she asked for only one thing. Strawberry banana French toast. Something Megan had never made before because she wasn’t a fan of French toast.

  “It’s a casserole Dottie used to make her on Sunday mornings. Em liked to make up the strangest concoctions…I remember having to eat a blueberry caramel waffle once, with peach jam slathered on top.”

  Megan wrinkled her nose at that. She wasn’t sure how she felt about having to make a dish Dottie had made for Emma, but she couldn’t say no, not now.

  “I was thinking of letting the kids take care of meals one day a week during the summer, but now I’m not so sure.” She made sure there was a teasing tone in her voice.

  Jack laughed. “Just make sure it’s not on a day I’m around.” He winked at her.

  “Oh no, I’ll make sure those are the days Emma’s in charge.” She took another piece of cotton candy and let the sugary sweet melt in her mouth.

  “Do you think she liked my birthday gift?” Jack nodded towards Emma, who was now at the top. She was leaned over the bar and looked down. Once she noticed they were watching her, both Peter and Emma waved at them.

  “Jack, I don’t think it’s possible for you to give her anything that she wouldn’t like.”

  The moment he’d walked into their home today, Emma had launched herself at him, wrapped her arms around his waist and said he was the bestest birthday gift ever. He’d laughed and held out a large gift bag. Without waiting, she pulled out the tissue paper and then smiled up at him with the largest smile Megan had ever seen.

  Jack had bought her a yellow sundress and a large sunhat, complete with a daisy flower attached to a pink band of ribbon. Emma ran up the stairs and quickly changed. Even now, she held on to that hat so it wouldn’t fly off her head.

  When she’d come back down the stairs, Jack had been waiting for her. He held in his hand one more gift.

  “More gifts, Papa?” Emma jumped up and down in her spot.

  He nodded.

  “Can I open it now? Or,” she glanced over at Megan, “do I have to wait till later? Mommy says I can’t open her gifts until before cake.”

  “Well, if that’s what your mom says, then I guess we should follow her rules.” Jack glanced up and Megan had a hard time not laughing.

  They both wore the same expressions on their face, the same twinkle in their eye, as if they knew she couldn’t say no.

  “Go ahead.” It was hard to say no to her little girl, especially on her birthday.

  Jack handed the small gift over to Emma.

  They all watched as she carefully unwrapped the box, taking one piece of tape off at a time. She let the wrapping paper fall to the ground and carefully opened the small black box and gasped.

  Megan leaned over to see what was inside.

  Jack cleared his throat. “Your grandma picked this out and we were going to wait…well, now seems like as good a time as any to give it to you.”

  Emma turned to Megan and held out the box. Inside was a beautiful silver daisy charm that hung from a delicate chain. The daisy was outlined with small sparkling stones. It was beautiful and Megan blinked away the tears that gathered as she carefully took the necklace out of the box.

  “Your grandma saw it one day at the jewelry store and knew right away that it was meant for you.” He swallowed hard and gave Megan a smile. “How many other little girls do you know that love Daisy’s so much?” He gave a small shrug of his shoulders while clearing his throat.

  “Papa,” Emma’s voice quivered, “thank you.”

  Emma threw herself into Jack’s arms and hugged him tight. Once she let go, she gathered her hair in her hands while Megan placed the necklace around her neck and attached the clasp.

  “I have more, but I left them in the truck,” Jack said to her as they watched Emma on the ride.

  “More? Jack, she’s spoiled enough.” Megan thought about all the gifts she’d bought as well.

  Jack shrugged. “Let me spoil her while I can.”

  Megan nodded. Each time they saw Jack, they knew they didn’t have much longer with him. Today was a good day: he was walking okay—albeit a little slow—but he was here and that was the main thing. Other days, when they’d had to bring Emma out to his farm, Jack stayed in his chair, rarely moving and although he would never say anything, they knew.

  They knew.

  “You can spoil her as much as you want, Jack.”

  He nodded his head and despite the smile on his face, there was a sadness in his gaze that hurt her heart. She wasn’t sure she was ready for the repercussions if they lost him.
/>   “We were thinking of baby names,” Megan blurted out.

  Jack glanced down at her growing belly and grunted.

  “If it’s a boy, we were thinking of calling him Jack. And if a girl, Jacqueline.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat.

  Tears gathered in Jack’s eyes and he quickly wiped them away. He didn’t say anything for a bit, just nodded his head and cleared his throat a few times.

  There was a reason they chose those names. Why it was so important to them.

  “I never…” Jack started, and then stopped. He cleared his throat and coughed. “I never thought you’d forgive me. Truly forgive me.”

  Megan reached over and placed her hand on his arm. He understood what it meant for them to name their child after him. She knew he would.

  “You gave us back our daughter. It took me awhile to see the gift in that. But I’ll forever treasure it. Forever.”

  Jack just nodded again, and Megan dropped the subject because just then, Hannah and Alexis got off the ride and ran towards them.

  “Did you see what Alex tried to do?” Hannah crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her sister.

  “It was fun. You even laughed.” Alex poked at Hannah’s arm.

  “You were going to tip us right over!”

  “Was not.”

  “Were to!”

  “All right, all right, enough. What ride do you girls want to go on next?”

  “How about a water fight?” Peter came up behind the girls and rested his arms around both Hannah’s and Alexis’s shoulders.

  Megan caught the way his eyes lit up. They’d seen the water fights earlier and thought it would be fun to have a water gun fight against the girls.

  “Papa, will you play?” Emma stood next to Jack. Her hand rested on his arm.

  “Someone’s got to keep an eye on all the food and prizes you girls have won.” He handed the girls a bag of cotton candy and Megan could have laughed from the way their eyes lit up.

  She stood up and looked at her family. They were happy. She was happy.

  She never wanted this day to end.