Others See Us

by William Sleator

  Lindie and I, in silent mutual agreement, strolled away from them again. We (Grandma, actually) had won the first round, and I was able to relax a little, since Annelise and Grandma were busy and out of range now. I let down my ice shield.

  “Tired and stressed out?” Lindie scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, she’s got a problem, all right, but it’s a lot worse than that.” Then she pressed her lips together and looked straight ahead, leaving her accusation implicit. Straightforward as she was, she was still hesitant to express all her very powerful negative feelings about Annelise to me. She wasn’t into turning people against one another. If it hadn’t been for her concern about Amy, she probably would have said even less.

  “That’s for sure. I bet Annelise knew exactly what she was doing,” I said. “She wanted everyone to think she was a heroine. She didn’t care about Amy. But Grandma saw through her.”

  “So why does Grandma come up with this stress excuse?” Lindie asked me. “Grandma was the one who caught Annelise. And then right away she gives her an out. I don’t get it.”

  “Grandma’s, uh … complicated,” I said. Lindie was smarter about people than I was. I was duped by Annelise until I read her mind; Lindie needed no special power to see through her. Now I wanted to prove to Lindie that I was insightful, too. I remembered what Grandma had said last night about letting Annelise dig her own grave. “Well, I think Grandma thought it was enough that she helped us all see for ourselves what Annelise did. Nobody really bought the stress excuse anyway. Also, Grandma wanted to come across as being fair to Annelise. If people thought Grandma was out to get her, then that would give Annelise an out—and weaken the real ammunition Grandma has against her.”

  Lindie was thinking I was smarter than she had realized, and that bolstered me a lot. “You’re making it sound like it’s a war,” she said. “Is there something going on that I don’t know about?”

  I just couldn’t resist continuing to impress Lindie. And I felt more confident now. “Well, from the changes I’ve noticed around here this year, I think Grandma might see life as a kind of war. Like a cold war, I mean. Like with spies, strategy, secret documents … maybe even blackmail,” I hinted.

  Lindie pondered this for a moment. Then she laughed. “You just gave me the craziest idea, Jared,” she said, shaking her head at the absurdity of it. “Everybody knows Grandma’s always hated the Winstons and wanted that property. Then the Winstons suddenly had to sell.” She laughed briefly again, but her smile faded. “And the Winstons refused to say what was taken from their house, some secret thing. And Grandma and her telescope. The ATM robberies and all the improvements on Grandma’s house.” She gave me a funny look. Then she dropped her voice, even though there was no one else around. “Is that what you mean by a kind of war?”

  “Well …”

  “Jared, you can’t seriously believe Grandma did those things!”

  Lindie was even quicker than I had expected. “No, no,” I said hastily. “All I meant was … well, you know what she’s like. She might imagine doing them.”

  Lindie didn’t answer, thinking hard.

  We had wandered past the jetty now, to where the rocks began, and the only way to keep walking was to go up from the beach toward Grandma’s house. I tried to squelch my intense curiosity about what was going on inside.

  But did I really have to squelch it? I was sure Grandma and Annelise would be so preoccupied with each other that they wouldn’t notice a little delicate hidden probing from me. My range was farther today; I was probably close enough now to get a whiff. I wasn’t stupid enough to touch Annelise. And why should Grandma mind if I took a peek at her? I promised myself I would stick very close to the surface. I dipped a single toe into Grandma’s mind, so slowly and cautiously I was sure it wouldn’t cause even a ripple.

  And wrenched it out of boiling oil, mentally howling in agony. What on earth was going on in there? I had never experienced anything like it.

  “What’s the matter, Jared?” Lindie said, reaching out to me. “Are you OK?”

  I stared back at her concerned, innocent face. I had no idea what was going on inside the house, only that it was more brutal and powerful than anything I had felt before. And I was struck, too late, by what I had just done to Lindie.

  I had told her too much. Because of what I had said, she had guessed about Grandma’s crimes. Maybe she didn’t really believe Grandma had done those things, but the thought was there, and that was enough. She was at risk from both Annelise and Grandma now.

  But I had done even more than that. By peering so deeply into her own mind, I had weakened and cracked her protective shell, creating a channel that led directly to her secret, making it a lot easier for another reader to find.

  If only I hadn’t so stupidly tried to impress her! But it was too late to change it now. All I could do was try to protect her. “Let’s go back to the beach,” I urged her, anxious to escape from here in a hurry. Grandma’s house had become the witch’s cottage in “Hansel and Gretel.” “I’m hot. I’m dying for a swim. Come on.”

  We started for the beach. A moment later the door slammed. I didn’t want to turn back, but Lindie stopped, and I had to.

  Grandma and Annelise stood next to each other just outside the kitchen doorway. Grandma, her white hair streaming down her back, wore the usual long printed skirt and big peasanty blouse that only emphasized the scrawniness of her arms, neck, and face. Dark-haired Annelise was as fresh and appetizing as a ripe peach, her lovely body encased in her gleaming salmon swimsuit. They both were staring hard at Lindie and me, reading us.

  I was unprepared, fumbling. It took me almost an entire second to get my journal and the ten miles of ice in place. And during that second I was hit by two things: Annelise’s glee and Grandma’s bitter disappointment that I had given her secret away to Lindie.

  We hadn’t won the first round after all; I could feel that Annelise was no longer under Grandma’s control. And I had betrayed Grandma. Would she ever forgive me or see me as an ally again? What was going to happen to Lindie now? We were in a worse mess than ever, and a lot of it was my fault. I jumped behind the shield, shakily planting my feet on the ice.

  “You two must be dying of thirst. Come on in and have a cold drink,” Grandma said, smiling around her cigarette.

  “We’re going swimming,” I said quickly.

  But Lindie had no idea what was really happening. And she was thirsty and curious. “Thanks, I’d love something to drink,” she said. She stepped toward the door, then turned back. “Have a good swim, Jared.”

  “Uh … I guess I’ll have something to drink after all,” I said. I knew I was no match for Annelise or Grandma. But I couldn’t leave Lindie alone with them.

  fifteen

  “Feeling better now, Annelise?” Lindie asked her with a trace of sarcasm as we stepped into the dark kitchen.

  “Oh, I’m fine,” Annelise said lightly, though her jaw was tense.

  I resisted the dangerous urge to look inside her. At the same time I was having trouble with my shield; it was slippery for some reason.

  But even though I couldn’t read Annelise, I could tell by her manner that she was still somewhat unhinged by the battering of negative thoughts about her she had suffered on the beach. I was sure that her first objective would be to restore her benign image with the rest of the family. She would use anything she could find in anyone’s mind to accomplish this. “How are you feeling, Lindie?” she asked sweetly.

  “Uh, fine,” Lindie said. She shot me a significant glance, to which I barely responded. Even with the shield, it was clear to me that Lindie naturally saw Annelise as the one who was in trouble, as she deserved to be, everyone in the family finally aware—as Lindie had always been—of how hateful she really was. And Annelise must know exactly what Lindie was thinking about her, and it would only madden her, and fan the burning coals, and make her more eager than ever to hurt Lindie somehow.

  We sat down at the kitchen table.
“Cola, Lindie?” Grandma asked her. “Iced tea? I know! How about a beer? You’ll be drinking it at Harvard next year, if you haven’t started already.”

  “Iced tea, no sugar, please,” Lindie said, and turned back to Annelise. “What happened with Amy? Did you just kind of, you know, blank out or something?” she asked, while I struggled, inwardly gasping, to maintain my balance on my shield. It was definitely getting more slippery, as though the ice were melting. At the same time, I had no doubt Annelise, stimulated by the allure of treasure and revenge, was plowing relentlessly through Lindie’s mind. Lindie’s secret was less hidden than before, now that I had hacked away the foliage, trampled down the grass, laid the path that would lead directly toward it.

  “I think we should talk about something else, Lindie, dear,” Grandma said with warmth in her voice, handing Lindie what looked like very strong iced tea and thrusting a glass of beer at me.

  “Er, thanks,” I said. “But I really don’t—”

  “You’ll love it. Drink it up,” Grandma coolly ordered me. “There’ll be more when you finish that one.”

  Lindie couldn’t hide her surprise. “Excuse me, Grandma, but it’s only two in the afternoon. And you’re making Jared drink a beer he doesn’t want?”

  “It’s OK. Maybe it’s good,” I said quickly, and took a hasty swallow. I had no choice; I couldn’t disobey Grandma.

  All I had sensed from Grandma outside was the sting of her disappointment in me for saying too much to Lindie. Since I was hiding my abilities from Annelise now, I couldn’t read Grandma to find out any more. But I still had to hope that she might forgive me. And the only way I could think of to try to regain her confidence was to obey her every whim—meaning, drink the beer. I had to have Grandma on my side. Grandma was the only one who could possibly disarm Annelise. I had seen her do it on the beach today, and she might be able to do it again. And only with Grandma’s help could I use the idea she had milked out of me about using Annelise’s weakness against her.

  Grandma had not made it easy for me last night. She had refused to accept me as an ally until I came up on my own with Annelise’s weak point.

  I had already known that Annelise was desperate for the approval of others. But not until last night, under Grandma’s pressure, had I seen Annelise’s overwhelming need for admiration as a possible Achilles’ heel. By the time it had finally dawned on me that this was her fatal flaw, it was too late to get into the specifics of exactly how we could use it to get her to dig her own grave. “Wait and see” was all Grandma had said. I had been too tired to think any further.

  What had happened on the beach today had seemed to confirm what Grandma had said last night. Annelise had made a murderous bid to win even more approval; Grandma had turned it against her.

  But Grandma had never spelled everything out, and I was beginning to doubt that she ever would. She was an enigma. And I was flying blind, completely dependent on her.

  I didn’t know what had happened between Grandma and Annelise when they were alone in the house, except for the gleeful flash I had gotten from Annelise that she was no longer under Grandma’s control. Did that mean Grandma was under Annelise’s control? They both were such good actors I couldn’t tell, and I couldn’t give myself away by reading them.

  I finished the beer and set the glass down on the table. Grandma instantly replaced it with another one. I knew beer would impair my abilities. But I had no choice except to keep drinking, if that was what Grandma wanted.

  “It’s that good?” Lindie asked me curiously, finishing her iced tea.

  “It’s thirst-quenching,” I told her, and that was the truth. It was dark and thick and bitter, though its taste was dulled by its icy coldness; Grandma must have had it in the freezer for a while.

  My recalcitrant shield was giving me even more trouble now. There were visible cracks in the ice; I didn’t seem to be able to keep them closed. What was melting it? It wasn’t the beer; the shield had begun to weaken before I’d had a sip.

  I felt a touch on my arm. “Maybe I will have a taste,” Lindie said, smiling faintly at me.

  I smiled back, handing her the glass. I was pretty sure Lindie was on my side. Lindie couldn’t read, so she wouldn’t be much help. But the way things were now, I couldn’t read either. And a little beer might make us bolder, more forthright, tougher for a devious mind to understand and deal with. The more rash and uncalculating we were, the less predictable we’d be to Annelise. Maybe that was what Grandma intended.

  “Gee, it actually tastes kind of good,” Lindie said, surprised, as she passed the glass back to me.

  “Go for it. There’s more than enough for both of you,” Grandma urged her, and before Lindie could refuse, she had set a full glass in front of her.

  And Lindie drank it. She obligingly dropped the subject of Annelise’s lapse. She answered their questions about going away to school next year. And she continued to smile at me.

  I hadn’t been paying much attention to Annelise; ignoring her made it easier to hide from her on the slick ice, though the cracks were widening. I was sliding around on an unsteady island. And now Annelise suddenly leaned forward, her eyes brightening. “It’s almost impossible to get into Harvard, isn’t it?” she said. “I mean, there’s like ten times as many applicants as they can accept, or something like that, right?”

  “I forget the exact figure,” Lindie said, sounding bored, as though she wanted the subject to end there.

  That encouraged Annelise. “I mean, they don’t even consider you unless you have perfect SAT scores, right?” Annelise pressed her.

  “Uh, yeah, the scores help,” Lindie admitted, and took a quick gulp of beer, her discomfort showing. She must have allowed her secret to surface in her mind.

  And I could tell that Annelise, leaning back in her chair, had caught it easily, with one hand.

  “What’s the matter, Lindie?” Grandma asked her. “You feeling OK?”

  Lindie shook back her hair. She had remembered how she had cheated; it had stabbed at her consciousness; I had seen it on her face. But now she assumed a normal expression again and took another drink. “I’m fine,” she said.

  “Gee, Lindie, look at you swigging down that beer in the middle of the day! You’re turning out to be a lot cooler than I ever realized,” Annelise said, beaming at her. “I know you better now.”

  “You think so?” Lindie said, staring hard at Annelise. “Funny it took you so long. I always knew exactly what you were like.”

  Annelise must be reading her deeply. She had already known Lindie didn’t like her. But now Annelise was getting the full force of Lindie’s resentment, her disapproval—and her disgust. I could tell Annelise didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all. Even coming from someone as unimportant as Lindie, the burning coals might be almost enough to drive Annelise out of control again.

  But not quite. Annelise gave a casual shrug. “You really aren’t like I pictured you at all, Lindie. You fooled me. And you fooled the admissions people at Harvard, too. Don’t you think they’d be surprised—and fascinated—to hear about Zippy?”

  Grandma dropped her burning cigarette. Even though Lindie wasn’t a reader, her shock wave had massive punch. I felt it, too, battering at my weakening shield, gaps widening as more pieces of ice cracked off and my rocking island shrank.

  “Zippy …,” Lindie said expressionlessly as she gulped down a lot of beer, not knowing what else to do. It must have seemed to her that she had fallen into a nightmare, having no idea how Annelise had found out this information. “You—you know about him?” she asked.

  “I know you bought the math SAT from him,” Annelise said. “And I can prove it to Harvard easily enough.”

  My shield was shrinking even faster now, though I was still struggling to balance on the remaining small island, still keeping out of the warming water.

  Zippy, of course, was the alias of the person who worked for the company that made the tests and had sold Lindie the math
SAT in advance. Annelise, being a reader, would have no trouble coming up with proof of the transaction, which she could then deliver to Harvard—and any other college Lindie might hope to get into after Harvard took back its offer of admission. Annelise had plenty of time. It was only early July.

  “You’d … really do that, wouldn’t you?” Lindie whispered.

  Annelise smiled at her. “Well, maybe I don’t have to, after all. It all depends on you, Lindie.”

  Lindie turned slowly to me. I took her hand and faced Annelise. “What’s going on?” I asked her, my thin, rocking island so small and unsteady now I was down on my knees, clinging to its edges. “What are you talking about? I don’t understand any of this.”

  Annelise giggled. Oh, come off it, Jared, she gloated, flicking away my last shards of protection with no effort at all, like a child romping in slush.

  It was Annelise who had melted my shield. She had known all along I could read. I didn’t have to hide from her anymore. All the ice was gone anyway.

  I hesitated. What would it be like inside Annelise’s venomous mind now that she was a reader? Was it safe to take even a little peek? Probably not.

  But I was uncontrollably curious. And I had to try to help Lindie.

  I threw myself in.

  sixteen

  And landed with a bone-jolting thud on a surface like tarmac. The air shimmered; sweat stung my eyes. It was hotter than the beach at noon, but there was no refreshing ocean to cool off in. There didn’t seem to be much of anything here except this barren, paved wasteland, like an endless parking lot. Was this the reality of Annelise’s mind, or was it a shield?

  Suddenly I knew I was being watched, inside and out. But there was no place to hide here and no hope of an ice shield in the blistering heat. I was completely vulnerable and exposed. My heart pounding, I shaded my eyes and looked up.

  Into Annelise’s gigantic face. It dominated the sky like some bloated primeval sun. Maybe this wasn’t a shield. It made sense that the primary focus of Annelise’s mind would be Annelise.