7 Deadly Roommates

by George Saoulidis

  They all hopped in, Horace at the passenger side, girls at the back. Evie politely checked if the grunting Ira was okay and they took off.

  “So, what’s this then?” Ira asked, looking up at the sign, arching her back all the way at the tipping point. She somehow didn’t fall on her butt. Horace assumed it was because of the low centre of gravity.

  “This is my buddy Costa, he runs a 3D printer. We came to pick up an order, remember the day we met, I was carrying those figurines?” Horace asked.

  “I remember my leg up your ass,” the dwarf lady snorted.

  “Yeah, thanks for that, by the way,” he mocked.

  “The what now?” Evie asked.

  “Nothing. Anyway, this guy prints my orders and files up the sharp edges, paints them, the whole thing.”

  “I see,” Ira frowned. “Want me to knock him down while you grab his belongings?” She slapped one tiny fist into the palm of her other hand.

  Horace gulped. “Uh... No.” He spoke in clear, soft words. “I, am gonna pay him in exchange for it.”

  “I see,” Ira frowned. “No pillaging this store. Got it.”

  “No pillaging,” Horace said, just in case. He met eyes with the glaring Evie who was standing behind the dwarf woman.

  Upstairs, they found Costa. There was a distinct smell of plastic and paint despite the huge air vent they had installed. A 3D printer was patiently chugging along in swiping motions, creating layer after layer of some statuette.

  “Horace!” Costa cheered, arms wide. He added more softly, “Evie! Come over here.” He embraced her tightly and Horace noticed for the first time that she squealed in delight.

  “Costa.” Evie spoke in a high pitch.

  Hm.

  Horace hadn’t thought about this. Costa was a charismatic nerd. He had a great smile which he frequently gifted to everyone around, making women swoon and men get jealous.

  Horace hadn’t felt this jealous before when hanging out with Costa. He completely missed what was said between his friends, probably some compliments and handfuls of flirting.

  “And you, my lovely!” Costa exclaimed, pulling Ira close and making her give a tango spin. “Oh, you are gorgeous, you. What’s your name?”

  “I’m Ira,” she grunted just a tiny bit. Was she blushing?

  “I really need to get you cyberscanned. Your body is amazing!” Costa carried on, excited.

  “What is he talking about?” Ira turned to Horace.

  “It’s that thing over there,” Horace said, pointing at the far corner. It was series of vertical metal rods arranged in a tube pattern, that held cameras in equal distances. “It will photograph you and we can then scan your body and posture and import it into 3D.”

  Costa was way too excited now. “Here’s what we can do with you.” He showed a series of posters and statuettes, with various poses and weapons. “Here, we have a wizard, and an elf, and this is from an upcoming game, it’s about to blow up, I’m telling you, and this over here, and we can even do mounts, horses, dogs, bears, whatever. It’s only limited by your imagination.”

  Evie looked at them with reverence. She had come here before with Horace, but it had been before she got hooked up on video games and she just waited in the corner until he was done. This time her whole attention was on this, admiring the work done, the material, the textures made with various painting techniques. She started blurting off questions to Costa.

  “How do you get this weathered cloth texture? And the transparency? Is that plastic? What colours can it have? And the fur? How do you get the depth?”

  “Hah, we’ve got quite an interest here!” Costa clapped his hands and ran an arm around her shoulder.

  Horace grunted like Ira would have but let it go.

  “I’ll tell you all about it. In fact, you can come tomorrow and let my artist show you the process. It’s late now and you just missed him, but I can ask him to stay late for an hour or so if you call ahead.”

  She was giving him her phone number in an instant.

  Smooth fucker.

  Chapter 43: Horace

  “Think of it like a 3D green-screen,” Costa said as he was fluffing up Ira’s curls.

  “Okay. How should I stand?” she asked.

  “You’ll take a standing pose, then we’ll do action poses. We’ll take plenty of snaps so we have a lot to work with. Just do your thing, trust me, it looks menacing,” Costa said, prepping up the gear.

  The cyberscan spot was a raised octagonal section. Strips of white LEDs on the rods gave a uniform light on the subject, while about thirty cameras rigged with wires sent the pics to a computer. Ira put on a chainmail, an actual chainmail from the props closet, which was made for a man, so it became a dress for her.

  “Bring me a bat, please, Horace?” Costa said, setting up his computer.

  “Sure.” Horace went to the prop closet, it was full of various gear that helped set the mood. Prop guns, swords, a saddle. He found an aluminium bat and gave it to Ira.

  She swung it around like a pro.

  “Woah! Love your enthusiasm there, my gorgeous, but please mind the cameras,” Costa said, gently pushing the bat down.

  Horace turned to Evie, who seemed to take it all in. “Are you bored? Want me to take you home?”

  “Hell no! This is so interesting,” she shook her head.

  Ira stood for the first snap.

  “Okay, now take a pose, imagine you’re holding an axe and are about to decapitate someone,” Costa said in the authoritative voice directors assume when shooting. “Holy shit, just like that, I love that frown!”

  The camera shutters shut in unison by a controlling software. It sounded like a dozen little snapping sounds all at once.

  “Oh my gods, I love this. Gimme a taunt. Grr. Crap, now I’m scared!” Costa exclaimed, still taking snaps.

  Ira had assumed a flexing pose and a scowl, letting her ‘axe’ rest on the floor.

  They fooled around for half an hour. Ira did knock one camera off its base with a reckless swing of the bat, but Costa assured them there was no damage. But they cut it short and then they loaded the snaps into the sculpting software.

  Evie was totally into this by now, leaning on Costa and asking a lot of questions. Horace sat on a chair a little further from there and chatted with Ira, while the other two geeked out over the cyberscan.

  “And it just makes a 3D model, easy as that?” Evie asked.

  “It is specialised software. Sometimes it glitches and you have to fix some edges, lemme zoom in, wait, see this one here? We have to smooth that part, but the process is so much faster like this. The array helps a ton, of course,” Costa said, pointing back at his cyberscanning rig.

  Evie giggled. “And then you paint over?”

  “Well, the artist does that. We’ll show you tomorrow night. I have many skills, but sculpting is not one of them.”

  Evie giggled at everything he said.

  Horace grunted and looked away. “Did you enjoy this, Ira?”

  She shrugged. “Sure, it was fun. If I had a bit more room to move it would be even better.”

  “Yeah. I guess the resolution would suffer in that case. This is a bootstrap company, not a big production house. Still, I like their work, you’ve seen a lot of them back in my home.”

  Ira grunted something in the affirmative.

  “Are you settling in okay? I didn’t have a lot of time to chat with you.”

  “It’s all right. I don’t like talking,” Ira said, crossing her legs. She had taken off the chainmail reluctantly and was in her red dress. It was plain and well-worn, even dirtied up at places...

  Was that blood?

  Horace cleared his throat. “What do you like doing?”

  “Um, I dunno. Fighting, punching things. Smashing things...” she trailed off. “I liked that bat,” she added helpfully.

  “Right. So, what, do you wanna wrestle with me?” Horace chuckled.

  “Sure. Winner goes on top,” she added w
ith a naughty voice, which was seriously weirding him out.

  Horace blinked and decided to ask for clarification. “On top off...”

  “During sex, dummy.” After a long moment, she leaned in close and added, “Angry sex.”

  “I see.” Horace thought about it for a moment. “So, you want me to wrestle you and then have sex with you.” He said it as a statement.

  “Yeah. Why, don’t you find me attractive?” she grumbled.

  “I do! I also find you scary, that’s the problem. You weren’t acting back there, were you?” he pointed at the cyberscanning rig.

  Ira shook her head. “I don’t do acting.”

  “I thought so,” Horace said, bowing his head in surrender. He got lost in thought for a long moment.

  Ira punched his knee.

  “What?”

  “Why aren’t you doing anything about that?” she asked, nodding towards the other two.

  “Do what? She’s just my friend, she can hang out with guys all she likes.”

  Ira grinned. “Right...” She leaned back on the chair and crossed her short arms.

  Chapter 44: Horace

  “Just sign this model release form,” Costa said, finishing up the deal. It was getting late by then and it was a cool summer night outside.

  Horace felt a vein burning inside of him. It was like a foreign feeling that had somehow roosted inside of him. “Hold on. You’re gonna sell this, right?”

  “Well, yeah, but nothing is certain...” the charismatic man trailed off.

  “Okay then. Pay the lady her fee for modelling for you,” Horace said, presenting Ira with his palm.

  Costa chuckled. “You’re the one who brought her here, Horace.”

  “Yeah, but you’re the one who offered. So, what’s her payment?”

  Costa exhaled slowly. “Fine. I’ll offer you 200 euro for the model release, okay?” he asked the dwarf woman.

  Ira shrugged. “Whatever. Send it to Horace, I owe him some groceries anyway. And a bathroom tile.” She looked out the window, and she looked like she really wanted to get out of there.

  “Yeah, send it to me,” Horace said. He suddenly turned to Ira. “What happened to the bathroom tile?”

  The dwarf lady shrugged innocently. “I punched it. It cracked. It was poor craftsmanship anyway.”

  Horace shook his head but let it go. “Costa, are we good? Send the cash to me tomorrow, okay?”

  “Sure, man. Don’t forget your pickup.”

  “Oh, right.” Horace went back and grabbed his bag. “I almost forgot my order with all the commotion.”

  Evie smiled and said, “Byeee!” to Costa with the silly cheer that woman adopt when they’re interested in someone.

  “Don’t forget about tomorrow!” Costa said back to Evie with a wide smile.

  Horace grunted.

  Horace asked Evie to come over, but she said she was tired so they dropped her off home before driving back to Kifisia. He sat in the back with Ira, but she was quiet along the way, enjoying the night drive and the calm city streets.

  He let alone with her thoughts as he dove into his. He fiddled with his phone and pulled up the Evil Thoughts app.

  Evil Thought

  Tokens

  Gula

  5

  Luxuria

  5

  Avaritia

  3

  Superbia

  4

  Invidia

  0

  Ira

  2

  Acedia

  5

  He’d earned another token from Ava. But how could she know about his deal he made? It was last-minute, and he hadn’t seen Ira use her phone or anything to inform her perhaps. He decided to ask her. “Hey, Ira, can I ask you something about the tokens?” His words were careful, so as not to have the taxi driver think he’s nuts.

  She slowly turned to him, obviously dazed with the outside. “Huh? Yeah, what about them?”

  “How do you girls know when to reward me with them?”

  Ira shrugged. “It happens, I’m not sure. When we’re pleased, you’ll realise it.”

  “I see,” Horace said, frowning. She hadn’t really given him a response, but she might not even know. Ira was kind off a one track mind. Not stupid, you could see the intelligence in her eyes as she sized everybody up to see if she could take him on. But she seemed to discard the thoughts she didn’t wanna bother with.

  Horace thought about what Ava had asked him to do. Such a simple request, double your income in 24 hours. Sure, it wasn’t permanent, but he had managed it. All it took was a mental gear shift, a different way to look upon things and to know what you are worth. Yeah, it was Ira’s modelling that brought in the cash, but he pressed the issue. And it wasn’t like he was gonna spend the cash on himself, the added burden of six women living with him was not something he could ignore. But he didn’t want them to leave. The girls were growing on him, every single one, with their quirks and their weird attitude. They all seemed to possess wisdom far beyond their years.

  Not to mention that he lusted for every single one of them.

  He knew it was weird, he hadn’t felt like that since his teenage years, when all he could think of was women parts and jerking off. Especially after the night with Luxuria, it was like his libido had shot through the roof and had given him a permanent boner. Even at the thought of her he felt his crotch warm up and his pants restricting him.

  He turned to Ira and checked her out. Her proportions were unusual but he liked her just the way she was. A little condensed ball of rage. He thought about groping her. She hadn’t given him three tokens yet. Would she refuse him, after so obviously propositioning him earlier?

  Horace reached out and put his hand on her thigh. Ira spun around, frowning at him but said nothing.

  He locked eyes with her and pulled his hand further upward, lifting her red dress and reaching for the inside of her thighs.

  Ira slapped his hand away.

  It seriously hurt, but he smiled and kept his hands to himself.

  After a few minutes, Horace spoke to the driver. “Please, drop us off at the next street.”

  “You sure? It’s only a minute away.”

  “Yeah, here is fine.”

  They got off at the far end of one of the parks. Kifisia had plenty of them, well kept with trimmed bushes and beautiful pathways. It was all well-lit but there were some making out spots if you knew where to find them. Horace had brought a couple of girls back here for a stroll in his school years.

  Ira didn’t seem to mind the walk home, it was nice and cool, a contrast to the day’s temperature. It was even a bit damp from all the pine trees. The park was quite large and had a few couples here and there, but you could be alone if you wanted to.

  “Aren’t you worried about walking in a semi-lit park with a man?” he asked her.

  She looked up at him and snorted. “As if you could do anything to me.”

  “Actually, you made an offer earlier. So, we can test it out here.” Horace took her off the path and inside a big patch of bushes, which opened up to form a clearing. The spot was covered from all around, even from most of the apartments around the park. There was some light peeking in through the bushes but it was mostly dark.

  Ira stomped the dirt, testing it. “The ground is soft. Nice.” She grinned at him.

  Horace put his things down at the side of the clearing and walked across her. He chuckled. “I can’t believe I’m about to do this,” he shook his head.

  “Oh, you better believe it in three seconds.”

  “What?” Horace said, suddenly scared.

  “Two. One!” Ira charged with a roar. Sure, she was a woman, and short. But she was scary as fuck and she was very strong. Ira tackled Horace and brought him down in an instant. They rolled around in the dirt. He was stunned for a moment and got a punch in the gut for his inaction. He got his bearings and grabbed Ira’s right arm, managing to pin it behind her back.

  “Hah! You�
��re left-handed,” he said with glee.

  She simply grunted and punched him in the face with her left one.

  “Ow!” His vision swam in whirlpools and his nose hurt like a motherfucker.

  Ira grappled him, spun him around on the ground and fell on top of him with her butt.

  “Gods, even your ass makes me hurt!”

  She pinned his leg like a pro-wrestler.

  He reached blindly at his back and grabbed whatever he could find of her. He got a handful of boob but this wasn’t pleasing at all, since his leg felt like it was going to come out of its socket. He pulled her down on the ground, easily managing her weight and came on top of her. He pinned her arms down with his elbows and looked Ira in the eyes.

  She was so excited.

  For a moment there, he was feeling bad about wrestling with a girl, but she didn’t seem to mind. On the contrary. They were both sweaty and panting, thin grey-brown dirt sticking on their skin and clothes.

  “Do you submit? Please say yes,” Horace panted, fighting to keep her down.

  Ira laughed in his face and then kicked him in the stomach, making him fall next to her in a bundle of pain.

  She came on top of him just like he’d done and pinned his arms down.

  Horace spat out dirt. “You’ve won, Ira, fuck. Stop. It hurts.”

  She grinned on top of him and leaned down. Horace flinched, he thought she’d headbutt him to knock him out.

  Ira kissed him deeply, her tongue drilling with force inside his mouth. She smelled of earth and sweat, a hungry, primal femininity. After the initial shock, he went along and kissed her back. He subconsciously wanted to reach out and touch her head with the kiss, but she was still pinning him down.

  Ira leaned back and shrugged. “What? You said it hurts. I kissed it to make it better.”

  Horace pushed her arms away and she forced him back down, the shove pushing a wave of dirt around them. “I’m on top,” she said dismissively and searched inside his pants. She found his wallet and she ran her tongue over her teeth, then pulled out a condom from it.