Program Erin

by Alex Fall

"Take me to them," he typed.

  "At this hour?" I questioned with some disbelief.

  "Oui."

  Admittedly, they were hard to find. Ever since they settled down, they seemed to have disappeared, other than the occasional message, such as their first baby. Which that too complicates things; they have a baby, so surely they don't want people showing up whenever they want. I didn't want them to be found. But Keegan insisted. He seemed...out of the ordinary.

  After some searching and inquiring, we found their little apartment. It made me realize how normal their lives are. How would they react at seeing me? Will they be shocked? Scared? Disgusted? I wouldn't blame them.

  Keegan, even in his unusual state, still had the presence of mind to flick the side of my head to break my thoughts. "Arrête ça."

  And then the fated knock on the door. Moments of silence passed. In that silence I heard Keegan whisper something to himself. It was something I understood.

  "Hm...Four leagues."

  "What?"

  Keegan dismissed it with a shake of his head. I haven't heard that name in a long time. It was Arty's old code name, or tag name. Whatever they called them. Is that what he is here for?

  My ears picked up that someone dropped something inside. The smell of strange herbs and baby oil wafted from behind the door. Footsteps. Then the door unlocked. A semi young woman peeked out of the door. Her dark, curly hair and alert eyes on her solid frame bespoke the youth she still posessed, but stress of family rearing looked as though it were just beginning to fray her.

  "Erin?" Elly said with some disbelief as she opened the door.

  "Bonjour Elly Reagan."

  "Don't mind him, we need to talk," I said objectively.

  "Um...who are you?" She asked, eyeing my partner.

  "Keegan. Like I said, don't mind him."

  "Ah," Keegan said, putting a finger on my mouth. "Elly...Elishma."

  The girl's face locked onto Keegan and stared at him in amazement and disbelief. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

  I remained quiet. Keegan continued. "Elishma..." He then looked down at a scrap of paper he had written on the way here. "Princess Elishma," he annunciated.

  "How...do you know that name?"

  "We need to talk," I repeated.

  "Oh, alright come in. But stay quiet, the baby finally went to sleep."

  Shortly after entering, Keegan produced a syringe and set it in front of Elly. Even I wondered what it was.

  "What is this?" She inquired.

  "He doesn't speak Anglo. You're going to need some patience," I tattled.

  "Oh."

  Keegan gestured for Elly to examine the medicine. She double checked him, then me, then delicately picked up the syringe. Her eyes seemed to widen slightly then narrow. After a moment of just...looking, she glanced up at Keegan. "Is this...?"

  "Oui."

  Keegan, through the use of his laptop, communicated at length with Elly. Her attention was rapt. I was quickly left behind in the conversation and soon I was wandering the home, picking at little knick knacks. Elly's decorative touch on the house was so strange... and where was Arty?

  "Erin."

  I turned slightly to acknowledge Keegan. He showed me a message on the laptop.

  "Elly has a mental gift as well. I need to talk to her. Let nothing interrupt us. Nothing."

  He nodded to show understanding then he and Elly sat down on their knees facing each other. Then, they touched foreheads with their eyes closed.

  "Keegan I swear, this is making me uncomfortable in a bad way."

  "Erin," he warned, holding a finger up.

  This touchy feely stuff...he's so flirty. He's flirting with another man's wife, in front of me! He warned me again, locking eyes and giving ME the staredown. I felt my anger rise, but just to be sure I sat on the couch and fumed. I'll kill him after he's done.

  It felt like they held their position for an hour. No movement. No words. I quickly grew bored. What was happening here? How does this help fix Lenburg? I hope the baby doesn't wake up soon. But if it does, at least I get to leave. I can't disturb them. Will it disrupt something? The sounds of people outside tickled at my ears. But after nearly drifting to sleep, even without the aid of additional sleep medicine, a new noise demanded my attention. Fingers at the front door. Someone was unlocking it. Arty? An intruder?

  The figure entered into the building and stopped. I got up silently in case of danger.

  "What, what in God's name are you doing with my wife-" The real Arty began to shout in an upset. He was advancing to attack Keegan, or something like that.

  I rushed in front of him and shoved my arm onto the wall to block the way. It made him jump, even nearly reflex defensively. He looks so familiar...the man of my dreams. But he's so different. He's not the man in my dreams.

  "Erin!...Erin?"

  "Do not disturb them."

  "What? What is happening? Why are you in my house? Where did you come from? What is Elly doing?" Arty sputtered in an upset.

  I let my arm fall to my side. "There are greater things at work here. I don't understand it all, but once they finish, I'm sure they can explain."

  Arty fell silent. He was examining me. "Erin, you look different. Do you...do you still use your powers?"

  I narrowed my eyes. "Nice to see you too. And you know how I am. Care to guess how many times I used it?"

  Arty shifted. I make even him uncomfortable. But he shifted his attention to the stranger. "Who is he? Why is he touching my wife?"

  "That's Keegan Laverdiere. I found a new living city and-"

  "You what?!" Arty snapped to attention.

  I breathed an irritated breath from my nose. "Don't interrupt. A new city. Keegan is from there. He is a seeker, otherwise known as-"

  "A mind reader," he said at the same time I said it. I stopped at being interrupted again. Arty continued. "That's what Elly says too."

  "What?" I asked. Elly? She didn't say anything.

  "Sorry, yeah. Your friend isn't the only one with mental gifts," Arty said with a slight smirk.

  "Yeah...that's what Keegan said." Our gazes met, a sort of realization that we still have that weird connection. I heard the baby start rustling, but I'm not sure Arty did. It seemed that Elly's husband finally started to relax in Keegan's presence, but only marginally.

  "Heh, four leagues," he chuckled after a moment.

  "That's the second time that's come up today," I noted. I got no response from Arty, so I added, "Your child is awake."

  Arty and I waited until our two mind powered friends finished. Arty was not happy with Elly, and she seemed snappy with him for mentally interrupting. But Keegan seemed content. Elly even complimented him for his mental prowess, whatever that means. Admittedly, I was not happy with Keegan either. But their explanation of what they found was, in a word, astounding.

  The drug that started the entire Lenburg issue was science from the other world, from Elly's world. Keegan brought it over, but didn't know how much trouble it would cause. And he didn't know how to undo it, but Elly did. There was an "information" trade, this science of the other world. And apparently Keegan expressed confidence that I would know what to do when he passed on the information tonight.

  Elly for her part apparently was given news from "home." It made her emotional, which made Arty emotional. Those two are awfully close. Based on the way they talked, it seemed as if Arty and Elly no longer did their dream walking thing. After that, their lingo was beyond my understanding.

  I invited Elly and Arty to join us on the Lenburg excursion, but they declined. Now that they are a family, they are avoiding any danger. It's too bad, they could have helped. But if they are out of practice, they would only end up slowing me down after all. However, even after we left, Keegan still seemed disturbed. What was with him?

  "Are you hungry?" I asked.

  He shook his head.

  "Are you tired?"

  He shook his head.

  I halted. "Keegan
, what's going on?"

  Typing. "I need to talk to you in dreams."

  "Is this the time thing you mentioned earlier? Are we on a schedule?"

  Keegan gave me a grave nod. I felt my insides tingle a little. That wasn't the answer I was expecting...

  He led the way to my ship. It was already far along enough into the night that I could go to sleep anyway, but knowing someone was waiting to speak to me made it an anxious ordeal. Would he watch me sleep? Or would he continue hiding in his room like he is now? What's so important that he needs to say? I would not fall asleep without sleep medicine.

  I awoke in the dream the world. Yet... it didn't feel right. This was the perfect nature of Illavoan. But it wasn't properly beautiful. We were in a muddy field, atop some rounded stacks of a sort of dead grass, and the world felt...dreary. Sick. It felt....sad. So, so sad.

  Keegan was here. The REAL Keegan. Not the Fake Arty. It finally happened. But this isn't right. This isn't how his first appearance is supposed to feel. Keegan was sitting nearby but not uncomfortably close to me which was, again, unusual for him. He was quiet. There was so much sadness. So much tension. There were moments I felt like I was breathing adrenalin.

  I finally broke the silence. "Keegan? What's wrong?"

  "Do you like me?" He asked with low volume.

  "I don't know. You can be-"

  The sadness pulsed. It was so loud. Like an illusion, it even threw off my balance. "...Keegan?" I asked with some worry behind my voice.

  "Erin." There was no more reply after he said my name. He wants...he wants me. He wants me to do something. To say something.

  I don't know how to do this. I feel an overwhelming need to say something. This whole dream world is begging for me. But...I don't know how to satisfy this. I'm socially broken. What do I say?

  "Erin, no games. Do you like me?" He asked as if responding to my thoughts.

  "What kind of question is that?"

  Sadness. Keegan put a hand to his face. He was hiding from me. He was trying to hide his sadness from me.

  I cleared my throat, trying to keep the foreign emotions at bay. "Sorry...um...like I said, I don't know. I don't know what liking someone is supposed to feel like. But, there are times I like having you around. Sometimes I know you're looking out for me. I think your smile is pretty nice. And...I know I can be irritable, but I think I know now that I want you around."

  A breeze flowed through the land and tickled at my face and hair. The air swirled, warmth and chill, joy and sadness.

  "Is that a yes?" He asked quietly.

  "I..." I bit my lip. This is one of those things I never wanted to admit. But this world...it craved my answer. "Yes. I do."

  Keegan looked up and met my eyes. It's Keegan, here in my dreams, correct in every detail save one: he's not smiling. Why aren't you smiling Keegan?

  "Erin, something has happened. In the other world."

  I felt a sickness begin to collect in my stomach. "What do you mean?" I asked, my own voice growing quiet.

  "There are some people who are truly bad. You know this. You've met them. But...I think I met the first one in my life."

  "Keegan, you're scaring me. You better explain what's going on."

  He looked down and took a deep breath. Then he met my eyes again, now more brave. "Something has happened. I don't truly know. But...when I go to sleep next...I don't know if I'll be waking up again."

  No...

  The sickness gripped my insides in an iron fist. Please, no. Please let me have misunderstood that. Please let him be mistaken. Please don't let this be true, somehow not be true.

  I went to reply, but my mouth formed no words. I felt nauseous. Sadness consumed the world. Tears even barely formed in Keegan's eyes.

  "I'm sorry Erin. I need you to be the strong one this time."

  I felt my body lean forward under the weight of it all. This isn't happening. Please. Please god, the world, whoever! Please don't take Keegan from me! PLEASE!

  The first choking cry escaped my lips. "I'm sorry Keegan. I can't be strong for you."

  And that was it. My perspective felt as if I began to watch two people from a distance. They embraced and cried for so long. I knew their predicament was true, because the thoughts and feelings of this world bore witness. Keegan's mind bore witness. I knew their situation was of the most bitter sadness. But I didn't feel anything. Who is this poor, blue eyed soul that appears to be jinxed by the world? Because, that can't be me. I refuse to believe that such a horrid thing would happen to me again.

  So much sadness. So many tears. The wails of the blue eyed girl and the sobs of the gentle man mixed so perfectly in this dreary, hateful world. But a spark of desperation hit me. The slightest glimmer of hope.

  I sobbed my tears and stayed my crying long enough to ask with a certain eagerness, "No! No, wait! What happened? Was it medical?"

  Keegan lifted his head off of mine but didn't have the strength to open his eyes yet. He simply nodded an indecipherable nod.

  "Because, because if it's medical," I sobbed, "I know a lot! You can find what you need in my memories!"

  "Erin..."

  "I know how to fix injury and...and I know how to fight poisons or sicknesses or even drug therapy or-"

  "Erin."

  "And it's not too hard if you have the right equipment. B-but if even if you don't have the equipment, you can dig through my mind and find that too, right?" Like, if you have-"

  "Erin," he repeated, breaking my desperate rant by cupping his hands around my cheeks. His eyes finally opened. They were tear stained, reddened, but still brave. "I don't know what will happen at this point. It won't help."

  "It has too!" I wept. "I can save you! I can be your hero!"

  The smile. My Keegan is back. "You've always been my hero. But this time, you can't interfere. I don't know what will happen."

  "No!" I shouted in rebellion. "No! No, no, no!"

  "Erin, please. This is already too much."

  The stinging tears began to fill in my eyes again. "No! I won't sit here and be useless! I can save you! You can't stop me!"

  "No, don't do that."

  "I said no! I HAVE to try!"

  "Don't you dare. Erin De'mus, before you wake up, I need you to promise me something."

  "NO!" I screeched through the sobbing. "I don't want to hear it! You can't make me!"

  He took my hand in his and folded himself until he was pretty much in the fetal position with his head resting on my lap. "Erin...please don't make this so hard. I want to stay, I really do. I have so many things things to talk about. I'm quickly falling in love with you, and the world...it's just not fair."

  "Do what I do, screw the world!" I reasoned with one last, exhausted push of my emotions.

  My Protector sat up and took another deep breath. "I need to give you the information Elly gave me."

  I swallowed and nodded. I closed my eyes in an attempt to shut out the emotions. Everything was too much. I felt numb. But the familiar touch of Keegan's hand was like a comfort and a reality check in one. He can't leave me. I won't let him. I grabbed his hand and cradled my own head into it.

  An explosion of information was thrown into my head. It was so disorganized. Information about planetary energy and bio energy and strengths and dosage; it was everything Keegan knew about the drugs he made and how they worked, not to mention Elly's thoughts and notes passed on to him about how to disarm it.

  I jerked away from his hand reflexively. I didn't want to, but the information hurt. He didn't soften this transfer like last time, and besides the information, there was a dam of emotion that broke and poured through. Love, despair, sentiment, sorrow, humor, loss, happiness, everything that Keegan felt about this situation and about me. The only strength I had left in me was spent restarting my bitter crying.

  "I'm sorry Erin. I couldn't prepare it for you. There was too much on my mind. But your mind is strong, you can work it out. I know you can, I've seen how you are. It's all u
p to you now. You have the key to curing my drug. Make the cure. You can cure Lenburg."

  "I can't..." I cried. "I can't do without you."

  "You're going to make me start crying again..."

  "Good! Maybe you'll stay if you do!" I reasoned through my salty tears.

  Keegan bit his lip. "That's not fair... Erin I need you to promise me something."

  "No! Don't make me!" I sputtered.

  "Repeat after me. I, Erin De'mus..."

  I gripped the dried grass while on my hands and knees. This is what I have been reduced to. I have no strength. I feel so sick. I feel so angry. Why are you making me do this now, of all times, Keegan?

  "...don't make me say it..." I whimpered one last time.

  "I, Erin De'mus..." He struggled to repeat through his shaky breathing.

  "I...Erin De'mus."

  "Promise you, Keegan Laverdiere..."

  "Promise you, Keegan Laverdiere."

  "That I will not..."

  I swallowed in anxiety. "That I will not."

  "Try to cure you or wake you up..."

  "No. I can't. I can't say it."

  "Promise me Erin. You will hate yourself forever if you don't."

  He's right. I know he's right. I hate it.

  I sat up and sucked in a stable breath but didn't bother trying to stop my tears or wipe my face. "I, Erin De'mus, promise you, Keegan Laverdiere, that I will not try to cure you or wake you up."

  "And," he added after a second of silence. His smile was returning, despite our prolonged cry session.

  "And," I repeated.

  "I promise I will try to be a hero..."

  "I promise I will try to be a hero."

  "And that I will try to take care of myself and try to stop talking bad to myself..."

  "And that I will try to take care of myself and try to stop talking bad to myself."

  "And I promise to learn the cello."

  A single laugh escaped my sorrowful lips. "And I promise to learn the cello."

  With that Keegan leaned forward until he was close to my personal space again and took my hands into his. "I have to make this quick, you're about about to wake up...And I, Keegan Laverdiere, promise you, Erin De'mus, to try and do whatever I can to take care of you and make you happy."

  "I'll only be happy when you come back," I stated in desperation.