My Ride is a Bitch

by Michael Anderle

  “That’s the call I expect to come down, but we need to get a few things loaded, at least on our ship,” Harmon answered.

  “Damn, I’d hate to be the Marines on the LHD, that is going to suck mosquito balls out in the cold like that.”

  “I’m sure they will have some sort of wonderful stuff that keeps them all toasty and warm,” Harmon snickered, “right before it breaks down on their asses and they have to walk the rest of the way.”

  Ronnie said, “They do have a way of getting shit for equipment at times, it makes you wonder if the brass is taking it in the ass on the budget, or they just can’t find a supplier that can make stuff that doesn’t break.”

  “Or, someone is pocketing the money,” Neil added, “although I kinda doubt that. Every one of their guys started with a rifle in their hands.”

  Ronnie looked at his watch, “Ok gents. It seems like it is time to accelerate our lives and go be a global force for good.”

  “And freeze our nuts off doing it,” Neil added.

  “Just make sure you look fantastic with icicles hanging off your eyebrows,” Harmon told him as he held up his mug, “Keep them nuts warm guys, let’s do our jobs and get home safely. One of these days, there will be a Ms. Melissa waiting for us.”

  The three guys clinked their mugs together and downed their beers. Each dropped a ten on the table and waved to Melissa on their way out.

  Tokyo, Japan

  William sat in his chair, slightly wincing but otherwise ok.

  “Does it still hurt?” Yuko asked him.

  “No, this time, it is the small chair assaulting my rather rotund ass,” he grinned, “Sorry, I should probably think about my language around the Vicereine.”

  Behind her, William noticed Akio nod in agreement.

  “Don’t worry about it for my sake in private company, you should see what I sometimes read on the boards when the guys don’t know I’m female.”

  “Does it get better when they know you are female?” William asked.

  “Depends on the group. Occasionally it will, but usually there is a jerk troll who decides that I represent all the females who have mistreated him in life. Like somehow I am to blame that as hackers, we are usually strongly introverts who rarely eat well and don’t take care of ourselves much and therefore don’t look too attractive.”

  “You look good,” William replied.

  “I’m Japanese, I have very good genes,” she replied, “Plus, I’ve been working out since I was in Australia. Akio and the guards are pushing me hard. I’ve never been in better shape, or in more pain.”

  “It is good for you to handle all of the challenges, it allows you to grow,” Akio told her. William noticed she didn’t roll her eyes like he would have expected.

  “How can I help the negotiations?” He asked.

  “The delegation is expressing that they want the ability to protect themselves much better in the future from a belligerent China, and they believe that Puck technology is the way to go.”

  “Well,” William started, then stopped. He wiped his face with his hand and started again, “I think the better technology would be the rail gun stuff we have with a second layer of larger pucks that can attack at a distance. The problem with the pucks is anytime they are planning to hit something large enough, the puck will be destroyed in the process. I know for a fact we aren’t going to provide them the ability to make their own pucks, so that is a no-go.”

  “Will they be able to reverse engineer their own pucks?”

  “Not possible, the pucks will explode if tampered with, and you need to make that very, very clear to them,” William warned. “I have some video’s showing what happens when you try to open a puck case. If they pay attention, they won’t do it anywhere near a populated place.”

  “You still expect them to try?” Yuko asked.

  “Of course. I would. They will place it in a bunker somewhere, with a sacrificial robot and a bunch of sensors and high-speed cameras. Not that it will gain them much as the explosion is so fast they will get a very small amount of data before anything near enough to record will be consumed. So, I’m providing the video to prove my point, but they won’t believe it until they test it themselves.” He shrugged, “It’s how scientists are.”

  “What else can we offer?” Yuko asked, “If the pucks are going to be off limits?”

  “Well, the pucks are off limits to them, but you guys are planning on staying here after we leave, aren’t you?”

  Yuko nodded, “I’ve been asked what I want to do, and Bethany Anne is setting something up for us to stay here in Japan. Akio and our team, plus another will be remaining behind. We will be representatives for the Queen.”

  William nodded, “Ok, I imagine you will be left with a defensive suite and other toys as well so you will have pucks and the ability to control them outside of the Japanese government. As long as they provide you land and support, your capabilities will be a strong force multiplier with theirs, so negotiate well on that aspect. Bethany Anne isn’t going to leave you weak, I’m sure.”

  “No, and we will have Pod’s for travel and secondary locations if we have to run. But, my plan is to stay in the background as much as possible, go underground if possible.”

  “It’s the hacker in you to hide, isn’t it?” William asked.

  “I am trying to think strategically,” Yuko admitted, “and I have asked Akio and the others how they stayed hidden for so long and they admitted hiding has many benefits. So, when Akio finishes with his response to the attack, we will have many additional relationships, some owing us favors.”

  “So, not quite the power behind the throne, but power the throne can call on?” William asked.

  “Yes, I believe that is what we are working on. The Japanese Government, of course, is the throne in this case not the actual Royal Family, but the idea is there.”

  William nodded, “With everything going on in the news, it is becoming more and more obvious we are heading for a showdown, aren’t we?”

  Yuko thought about it for a moment, “Yes. Most likely. We see it on the dark web where you can buy and sell names for pennies on the dollar. Thieves in countries you can’t locate on a map, steal from banks in the biggest cities in the world. The largest nations are preparing to destroy each other digitally each day, so anyone with half a clue should probably at least pay attention to it.”

  “God, who needs the aliens to do us in, we are doing it to ourselves,” William grunted, “Well, there are always bright spots, right?”

  “Sure,” Yuko admitted, “we have new ways to generate power, which feeds into exciting ways to produce food which is one of the biggest issues we have. Then, there is shelter, but with the 3D printing of cement coming along I understand they will be able to 3D print a house. With all of the sand in the desert, it seems likely we have some use for it.”

  “Agreed, the promise is there, we just have to turn ourselves towards something rather than trying to beat each other up, but that isn’t why Japan is helping us,” William said.

  “No, they are setting up defenses and we,” she nodded to Akio, “are here to establish a hidden safehouse for the UnknownWorld.”

  William smiled, “That would be a big surprise for any country trying to attack. Run smack dab into the Empress's own first battalion Wechselbalg brigade…Those fuckers don’t know when to lay down and die!” He ended his comment chuckling.

  “Well, sure, but covertly,” Yuko added.

  “Of course. Let me show you some technology. We have a room temperature superconductor that will make their scientists cream in their…ahhh…. sorry!” William covered his face with his hands, “I blame Bobcat,” he said behind muffled hands. “He doesn’t teach me how to speak in front of ladies.”

  “No,” Akio added from behind Yuko, “He does not.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Chapter 12

  Terry kept quiet as he watched Melissa discuss the particulars with the other scientists. He and M
elissa had a long, hard talk about a proper relationship among adults.

  Which is to say, Terry fought hard about acting like an adult until he got hard and he capitulated to all of her demands.

  Every. Last. One. Of. Them.

  Shit, he couldn’t even remember everything he promised to do. The only thing on his mind at the moment was how was he going to protect this damned group? They weren’t bringing along any of the German government's Special Operatives because there was a chance they would run into the American Navy and they didn’t want an incident. Plus, this was supposed to be led by the industrialists, not the eggheads which was a nice change.

  Perhaps, maybe. Well, depending on the Idiot In Charge.

  Fuck all, he needed to make a phone call.

  He turned and nodded to the two guys manning the door, “Phone call, be back in ten.”

  He stepped out into the street and walked a short way, pulling up his phone hit a shortcut and waited.

  It went to voicemail.

  “C’mon Robert, you owe me,” Terry mumbled and hit the number again. This time, it was picked up on the second ring.

  “Ok buddy, you are getting in between me and some possible action, this had better be better than fucking good,” Robert complained in his ear.

  “Love you too, sweetheart, and between you and me, your palm isn’t a hot date,” Terry replied.

  “Ass.” Robert laughed, “What do you need, bro?”

  “I possibly need a small group of mercenaries for a trip similar to the one I’ve taken recently, but this time going South.”

  “How South?” Robert asked.

  “All the way till hell freezes over south,” Terry rolled his eyes when he heard the chuckling, “Yeah, freezing nuts and all.”

  “Wait, don’t tell me,” Robert asked, his grin coming through loud and clear in his voice, “Melissa is involved?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought she broke up with you?”

  “I didn’t get the message,” Terry replied.

  “The message that you were supposed to chase her?” Robert asked, “Didn’t you get that message with what’s her name back in school?”

  “Apparently not, asswipe, and would you be so kind as to not mention previous flames anywhere near her?”

  “I’m not, I’m in America, and you are in Germany, right?”

  “Yes, and frankly that isn’t far enough.”

  Robert chuckled, “Terry my friend, you have it baaaaad.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know. I’m going to fucking Antarctica for her, so yeah, I know nothing fun is happening in frozen popsicle land horizontally speaking and I’m still willing to go. Plus, I’m suffering this phone call and all of your ridicule as well.”

  “Not enough protection?” Robert asked.

  “No, they got my name from somewhere, and they learned the German government isn’t lending any ops people, so I get to go hiring.”

  “We aren’t cheap, buddy,” Robert grinned.

  “Fucking double-dipper!” Terry replied, “Don’t give me that shit. Your, uh, previous employers would stand around in a circle-jerk for this opportunity.”

  “I love it when you beg,” Robert replied, “Man, I’ll check and they will probably ok it. But, give me a couple of hours to get the right permissions and text me the dates and details. We will do a pick up on your way down South.”

  “Great, I’ll owe you one, Robbie,” Terry answered.

  “No, I’ve got that feeling, you still got something to pull out of the hat?”

  “Same one as last time,” Terry admitted.

  “That was the best one I’ve ever seen. So, it would be pretty hard to top it,” Robert agreed.

  “That’s true. Ok, I’m going to go back in, send me your merc outfit credentials and details so I can sell you guys.”

  “Game on, brother,” Robert said and hung up the call.

  Terry looked down at his phone and then looked left and then right down the street. He slipped the phone into his pocket and started walking back to the building. “You got that right, Robert. Game on, brother, game on.” He walked, his back straightening. Like his worries had been lessened, shared, among those who had been there, done that and walked out together.

  Tokyo, Japan

  Special Liaison Investigator Jiro Dai parked his car and sighed. Another assignment to hand hold a group wanting special information on criminals. A group who would probably want to go hold criminals hands and sing religious songs.

  Not his type of people.

  He grabbed his laptop and his badge and walked into the hotel, nodding to the people at the desk and taking the elevator to the top floor. He clarified his thinking. These were rich touchy-feely types.

  Even worse.

  The elevator dinged, and he stepped out, surprised to find someone on guard in front of the only door in the hallway.

  Dai got the impression he had already been judged as a non-threat, and it was a little annoying to be dismissed so quickly.

  The door opened, and another man stepped out. He had a sports bag filled with something light over his shoulder, and some canvas covering something long held in his other hand. He turned to the guard, “The Queen’s trust is in your hands, understand?”

  “Hai!” The guard agreed, and the man turned his eyes toward Dai.

  Dammit! Now he felt twice judged, and he was an ant. What the hell had his boss gotten him involved in? The man nodded and started towards the elevator Dai had already exited, “We will have a long night inspector, I hope you have slept well?”

  Dai turned around, looked at the guard then shrugged and followed the new guy back into the elevator.

  Once Dai got in, the new guy hit the ground floor button, “My name is Akio, and tonight we will see the type of justice you have wanted for years, Inspector. I hope your stomach is up to the challenge of your desires.”

  “What are you talking about?” Dai finally found his voice, “I was told to come to this address and help the representative who wanted to communicate with criminals?”

  Akio looked over to the investigator, “Investigator Jiro, this night will be about communication, but not equal communication, it will be about sending a message from the Vicereine who receives her instructions from my Queen to those who attacked her people. Attacking is never permitted without a response.”

  “What? Who is the Queen we are talking about? Vicereine?” Dai was trying to get his wits about him.

  The elevator dinged, and Akio stepped out and nodded to a man Dai hadn’t seen earlier. So, they had a watchman at the bottom, no wonder the upper guard hadn’t been worried about him.

  It took Dai a few seconds to realize that Akio was retracing Dai’s steps right back to his own car. “You will need to drive us back to your home.”

  “What, why?” Dai asked, sliding into his seat and popping the locks so Akio could get in.

  Akio slid into the front seat and closed his door, “So there is a record of you being at home this evening. You do know you have a tracer on your police issued car, yes?”

  “Well, yes, I guess I hadn’t thought about it before.” Dai pulled out of the Hotel’s superstructure and started driving back to his house. “Why am I doing this again?”

  “Because you are not the only one in your group who is tired of the criminals hiding behind the law and I will send a message they understand for decades.”

  “What message?” Dai asked, turning onto the freeway.

  Akio answered, “You do not mess with the Queen’s people, or she will reply in kind.”

  “Do I want to know her response? I understand you don’t wish to talk nicely with them.” Dai was surprised to hear the grim man chuckle.

  “No, my Queen does not have a way of talking nicely to those who attack first. She will just respond.”

  “You are talking about the attack from last week, aren’t you?” Dai asked, finally cluing in on the vague rumors and comments around the office. He had be
en working his own cases, so didn’t listen in too hard to office talk.

  “Yes.”

  “Then isn’t your response a little late?” Dai asked, turning off the freeway and then another turn down a side street.

  “No, one does not create a night that will be remembered with rushed planning,” Akio told him.

  That sounded ominous, “Just what are you going to do?”