Journey of the Heart

by Mills, DiAnn; Darty, Peggy;

  “Katie?” she half questioned, half whispered. “Is it you, child?”

  Katie couldn’t help but return the smile. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Oh my,” Aunt Elizabeth said and instantly reached for her niece.

  Katie couldn’t remember when a woman’s touch felt so comforting. Many years had passed since a white woman had embraced her with such tenderness.

  “You’re all grown up, child. And you look so much like your mother. For a moment I thought I was standing in front of Mary. Goodness, where are my manners? Please come in—and where is your pa?”

  She pulled away from her aunt’s arms. “Pa died a few days ago.”

  The woman touched her heart. “Oh child, I’m so sorry. If only your uncle and I had been there to help you.”

  “He told me to come to the fort—to you and Uncle Seth, but if there isn’t room—”

  “Nonsense. This will be your home. We love you, and there’s plenty of room.”

  Katie stepped inside onto a stone floor. The small home smelled of roast meat and bread. It tantalized her senses. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I can go back to the village.”

  “No,” the older woman said. “We have wanted you near us since your mother died. We’ve never known the laughter of children, and we’d love to make a home for you.”

  “Thank you, Aunt Elizabeth. Pa would have been pleased,” Katie said, not really certain of her feelings. She’d forgotten the motherly ways of her aunt, and it felt strange to be near her.

  Sergeant Sinclair excused himself with the promise of making sure Katie’s belongings were delivered to her aunt and uncle. He would personally see to the care of her horses until her uncle instructed otherwise. Before he left, Sergeant Sinclair handed Katie her rifle. The door closed, and the two women were alone.

  Katie stood silent, afraid to speak for fear she’d cry. She looked around at the fireplace and the rocker resting nearby. Aunt Elizabeth’s cotton window coverings were clean, and everything looked neat and in its place.

  “Sit down, child,” she said. “You look mighty tired and thin to the bone. Let me ladle you out some venison stew.”

  Katie moved to a bench beside a rough-hewed table. “Thank you, I am hungry.”

  “Good, you can eat, and then we can talk. Katie, you have the same green eyes and tall willowy shape of your mother. Jeremiah was truly blessed.” She seated herself across from Katie. “It has been over seven years since I’ve seen you, and so much has happened in your young life. We didn’t find out about your mother until weeks after she and the baby died.”

  Katie sighed. “It was a boy, and they were gone soon after his birth. I don’t think Pa ever got over losing both of them. Within a few weeks, he started spending time with the Comanches. Shortly afterward, we deserted the cabin on our land for the village. I guess he became more Comanche than white.”

  “We always wondered why he joined up with them.”

  “I’m not sure. He said white people were a peculiar sort. They wanted to destroy the country, not be a part of it. I remember when Ma was alive, he worked the ground and tended cattle. He often spoke of his Comanche friends, but I never heard him say anything about wanting to live among them.”

  “What about you?”

  Katie smiled, but her heart lacked mirth. “Oh, I always miss Ma, but the years have left more pleasant memories than sadness. In the Comanche village, an old Indian woman took good care of me. She was like a grandmother.”

  Aunt Elizabeth rose and sliced a generous piece of bread for Katie. She silently watched her eat, as though she understood Katie was absorbed in her own thoughts. “Tell me about Jeremiah. What took his life?”

  She finished the bread. “He took a cold that never got any better. The cough and fever grew worse until he slept most of the time. Near the end, he took to talking out of his mind.”

  “How hard that must have been for you.”

  She shook off the despair, vowing not to shed any more tears.

  “I’m so grateful you came to us.”

  “He wanted me here,” Katie said. “And I promised him.”

  The door opened, and Uncle Seth stepped inside. He looked thinner and nearly bald. His eyes lit up the moment he saw her.

  “I heard Katie had arrived,” he said. She rose to greet him, and he gathered her up in his arms. “I closed the blacksmith when the news came. Katie, child, you are so lovely.”

  “I came because Pa died,” she said and clearly saw the pain in Seth’s eyes.

  “I know,” he whispered and held her tighter. “Colonel Ross told me the whole story.” He glanced up at his wife. “We will do our best to make a good home for you.”

  Katie would have felt better if they had not warmly welcomed her. If either of them had any thoughts or misgivings, they hid it well.

  Long after they prepared a bed for her near the fire and she attempted to sleep, her thoughts wandered. Her aunt and uncle shared many stories about her mother, and Pa’s death brought tears and recollections of days gone by. They appeared glad their niece had come to live with them. Her emotions tore her between the aunt and uncle who called her family and the familiar Indian village. All the way to Fort Davis, she’d hoped they wouldn’t have room or means to provide for her. She actually hoped they wouldn’t want her. Now that they seemed excited to see her, she felt bewildered. Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Seth’s reception was not what she expected or desired.

  Katie’s mind slipped back to Lone Eagle. He had worked hard to convince his father that she would be a good wife for a chief’s son. Comanches didn’t allow intermarriage, but because Pa had saved the chief’s life, the old Indian gave his permission. She hadn’t told Lone Eagle of Pa’s dying words, for he had gone hunting. Instead she told the Indian chief of her promise. Surely he would explain to his son why she had to leave. Lone Eagle loved her, and it pained her to think their plans were destroyed.

  The warrior most likely had returned to the village by now, and she fretted over his reaction. Katie knew he’d be angry, and she couldn’t blame him. After all, she had sworn her love and devotion to the handsome, ebony-eyed man. Her disappearance would look like she had lied to him—perhaps made a fool of him in front of the whole tribe. Sometimes his quick temper frightened her, but she had long since decided her love could soften this one small fault.

  Tired and confused about the future, Katie pushed it all firmly from her mind until the morning. Pa always said poor decisions were made before sleep and wise decisions made with the sunrise.

  A week passed, and Katie found herself settling into a new life at Fort Davis. Sometimes she felt confined in the walls of the fort, and sometimes she preferred the floor to the straw-stuffed mattress, but Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Seth’s love set her at peace. The times when she missed the village and earnestly desired to be with her Indian friends, she remembered Pa wanted her to have a new life. Strong in her convictions, Katie firmly pushed aside the old memories.

  Had Lone Eagle found another maiden? Many Indian women found him handsome, and some were jealous when he chose her for his wife. But she simply couldn’t break the promise to her father. She must learn to live in the white man’s world.

  “You’ve been cooped up much too long,” Aunt Elizabeth said one morning after the two had completed morning chores. “Let’s go for a walk, and I’ll show you around the fort. We can take lunch for Seth and have a little visit.”

  Katie appeared more eager than she truly felt, but for her aunt’s sake she agreed. The grief wore on her heart, and she preferred being alone. The two packed the remains of the previous night’s dinner—slices of roasted duck, green beans from their small garden, and thick pieces of freshly baked bread.

  “I have the basket,” Katie said from outside the cabin door.

  “Katie, child, did you forget your bonnet?”

  She stepped back inside for the loathsome head covering.

  “Must I wear it?” she said. “I don’t mind a tanned face.
”

  Aunt Elizabeth touched her cheek. “I know, dear, but here we wear sunbonnets.”

  Katie obediently covered her blond hair and tied the bonnet beneath her chin.

  “Perfect. We’ll start our walk to the left. There’s always new construction going on. See those six stone buildings? I’m sure you passed them on the day you arrived. Those are the soldiers’ barracks, and behind them are cooking sheds where the men eat.”

  As the two made their way by the barracks, her aunt pointed out storehouses, stables, and corrals.

  “And what is that wooden structure?” Katie pointed to a building longer than the barracks.

  “The hospital, and it’s usually full. On the way back from the blacksmith’s, I’ll show you the colonel’s home. It’s quite nice and even has wood floors. I’m pleased with our home, but some of the married folks live in very poorly built cabins. And, oh my, I imagine the soldiers’ homes suffer from lack of a woman’s touch.”

  The two continued until they reached the blacksmith. Near the forge, Uncle Seth spoke with a soldier who had his back to them. Upon hearing the women’s voices, Sergeant Peyton Sinclair turned to acknowledge the women.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Colter, Miss Colter,” Peyton said, tipping his hat.

  Aunt Elizabeth returned the greeting, but Katie merely nodded.

  “Don’t let us interrupt your conversation,” the older woman said. “We just stopped by to bring Seth his midday meal.”

  “We’ve finished business,” Uncle Seth said. “And now we’re just visiting. Perhaps the sergeant would like to share lunch with me?”

  Peyton thanked Uncle Seth but politely refused. “There will be plenty of food for me at the barracks. Thank you just the same.” He faced Katie. “And are you settling in to life here at the fort?”

  She wanted to be polite. The man had done nothing to her, but his title and his uniform intimidated her.

  “I’m becoming accustomed to my surroundings,” she said. “Uncle Seth and Aunt Elizabeth have made me feel welcome.”

  His gray eyes seemed to study her for a brief moment before he spoke again. “I’m pleased to hear a favorable report. I’d hoped you would adapt quickly.” He directed his attention to Seth. “Mr. Colter, it’s been a pleasure talking with you, and I’ll inform the colonel that those horses will be shod in a day or two in time for the patrol. Good day, Mrs. Colter, Miss Colter.”

  Aunt Elizabeth watched Peyton disappear from the blacksmith. “The sergeant has excellent manners,” she said. “He appears to be a fine man.”

  Katie didn’t respond. The workings of the blacksmith interested her more than Sergeant Sinclair.

  “Katie, is there something wrong?” Aunt Elizabeth said.

  She looked up from the basin of peeled vegetables ready for the stew pot. She’d broken her resolve to not contemplate the past. “Not really, I was remembering things about the Indian village.”

  “It’s natural to miss your home,” Aunt Elizabeth said. “You’ve been introduced to a different life here.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Living in a teepee and wearing deerskin dresses and fringed moccasins are not the only differences. My diet has changed considerably. In the summer, spring, and early fall our fresh meat was barely cooked. We had berries, a form of bread, and roots. In the winter, we ate dried meat mixed with crushed berries, nuts, and seeds. Some of the things in the Comanche diet made me ill, so Pa always found something else for me.”

  “How unusual.” Aunt Elizabeth tilted her head. “I’m glad your father helped you through the transition.”

  “We didn’t have regular mealtimes, either,” she continued. “We ate when we were hungry, usually upon rising and in the evening.”

  “And did Jeremiah follow Indian practices?”

  She wasn’t quite sure what her aunt meant. Neither did she know how much to say. Sometimes he rode with the warriors, but he never told her what happened.

  “There’s no need to answer,” her aunt said.

  “Oh, I can. He respected their beliefs.”

  “Well, I’m sure you left treasured friends,” Aunt Elizabeth said.

  Katie paused. “I do miss Desert Fawn. She was the woman who took care of me when Ma died. I know I’ll never see her again, and I loved her very much.”

  “I’m sorry you’re not happy here.”

  “But I am.” She set the vegetables on the floor and hurried to her aunt. “Life in the village…well, it was different than here.”

  “Well, child, I guess it’s good that you came to us when you did. If you had waited any longer, you would have most likely married a Comanche.”

  She avoided her aunt’s face and deposited the vegetables into the bubbling stew.

  “Are you already…married?” Aunt Elizabeth said as though the sound of the question would make it true.

  She looking directly at her aunt. “No, Aunt Elizabeth. I’m not, but Pa promised me to a Comanche warrior.”

  Her aunt trembled. “How did he feel about your leaving the village?”

  “He wasn’t there at the time, so I told his father.”

  She touched Katie’s shoulder. “Then you didn’t have an opportunity to tell him good-bye or explain your father’s wishes?”

  “No, ma’am,” Katie said, barely above a whisper. She swallowed a lump in her throat and blinked back the tears.

  “Do you love him?” She gently squeezed Katie’s shoulder.

  Katie lifted green eyes to her aunt’s face. She saw no condemnation, only compassion. “I think I do, but I also know my home is with you and Uncle Seth.”

  “Would you like to talk about this man?”

  “No, it wouldn’t do any good. I made a promise to Pa, and I intend to keep my word.”

  “If ever you want to talk about anything, no matter what it is, I’m here for you.”

  Katie thought through her words before speaking. “Thank you. Both you and Uncle Seth are so good to me. Some of the other folks here are not as friendly, and I understand how they feel with the Indians burning their homes and killing their families. What they don’t understand is the Indians feel the same way about the whites. I’m confused because I see both sides.”

  Aunt Elizabeth stood by patiently as if ready for Katie to say more, but she had said enough. “I’ll pray for God to give you strength. If it comforts you at all, God loves all of us equally no matter the color of our skin.”

  Katie turned to stir the stew. Again a lump settled in her throat and tears swelled in her eyes.

  “Do you think he will come after you?”

  Her aunt’s words startled her. She hadn’t thought about Lone Eagle coming to the fort. Katie well knew the accessibility of the canyon walls. Did he love her enough to consider such a feat? She refused to think about it. The idea of Lone Eagle wanting her badly enough to risk his own life seemed incredible. But in a warrior’s eyes, she belonged to him. Once more, she attempted to rid her mind of Lone Eagle and the plans they had made for their life together. Still she missed her warrior more than she dared to admit.

  Chapter Three

  Uncle Seth and Aunt Elizabeth Colter devoted Sundays to worship and rest. They spent the morning in church, the afternoon in quiet Bible study, and back to church for Sunday evening services. Katie participated in church attendance but not the Bible study. She didn’t remember much about “Book” except for a few stories from her childhood. She didn’t want to be in church, and she didn’t believe or grasp the preacher’s words.

  Often she pondered over this mysterious Father God. She considered asking her aunt and uncle questions about their worship, except she feared they would be appalled at her lack of biblical knowledge. Comanche gods had been as much a part of her life as the Indians around her, and she didn’t know which gods were the right ones. Pa believed in the Indian ways, but on his deathbed he called for the white man’s God to end his misery. A lot of good it did to call upon Jesus. Pa suffered more and died.

  “Katie, may I as
k you something?” Uncle Seth said one evening during supper.

  She sensed a serious nature to his voice and immediately gave him proper attention. “Of course.” She placed her fork beside the tin plate.

  “Do you know how to read?”

  “Yes, I do. Ma taught me until she died; then Pa did my lessons, including arithmetic, map reading, and lots of writing.” She breathed an inward sigh of relief. “And Ma gave me French lessons and social etiquette, too.”

  He crossed his arms on the table and appeared to be deep in thought. “I…Elizabeth and I…wondered why you don’t read the Bible.”

  She bore her attention into his face. “Pa buried ours with Ma. He said we didn’t need it.”

  “How much do you understand about the Almighty God and His Son, Jesus Christ?” Uncle Seth said.

  She was trapped, and words escaped her. She would not lie, neither could she bring herself to disappoint her aunt and uncle by admitting how little she knew about their religion.

  “Katie, child. If you truly don’t know God’s Word, it’s all right to say so,” he said.

  She took a deep breath and toyed with her hands resting in her lap. “I remember Ma reading me stories but little else. Sometimes Pa spoke about God and Jesus, especially near the end. Before that, though, he…he believed in the same gods as the Comanches.”

  Aunt Elizabeth gasped. Katie immediately regretted her last words. The older woman’s hand reached out to take hers.

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe in your God,” Katie said.

  “Are you willing to learn?” Seth said.

  “Yes, sir, if you like.” But her heart cried out no. Their God was cruel.

  “I imagine Reverend Cooper’s messages are rather boring,” Seth went on. “He’s not the best of preachers, but he means well. I’m not sure what would be the best way to teach you about God. I think reading the scriptures, beginning with Genesis—no, Matthew then on through to the New Testament. And if you read in the evenings, we could answer your questions as you go along. How does that sound?”