Journey of the Heart

by Mills, DiAnn; Darty, Peggy;

  He eyed her without the tenderness she remembered from the past. “It’s nothing serious, just a shoulder wound.” He had yet to dismount his horse but rather surveyed the crowd. “Some of us weren’t so lucky.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at the dead men, and surely Jacob did not need to be a part of this crowd. Besides, Peyton’s tone didn’t invite conversation.

  He’s still angry. And with the deaths and injuries of his men, I can’t expect him to want to talk to me.

  She stepped back while Peyton grabbed the saddle horn with his left hand and swung his leg around the horse. Awkward, silent moments followed as a crowd formed around all the men. Some asked questions; others tended to the wounded and dead. Katie heard a young boy cry out for his pa.

  “I’m sorry,” she said to Peyton.

  She looked around to see if anyone needed help, but there were more than enough people assisting the others. She’d just be in the way. Taking a deep breath and breathing a prayer for the soldiers and their families, Katie and Jacob retrieved the bucket and walked home.

  Late into the night, she woke to the sound of someone pounding on the door. Uncle Seth should answer it, especially in light of the hour, but the pounding persisted and she didn’t want the children wakened.

  “Who would want a horse shod this hour of the night?” Katie whispered to herself as she hurried to the door. “Who’s there?” she said as quietly as possible.

  “Peyton.”

  “Do you have any idea what time it is?” Katie said, perturbed at his late call.

  “Yes, I can’t sleep,” said the voice behind the door.

  “Well, I was sleeping just fine.” She purposely laced her words with agitation. “What do you want, anyway?”

  “To talk to you.”

  “Peyton Sinclair, are you drunk?”

  “No, the doc gave me laudanum for pain, but I didn’t drink a thing. Are you coming out to talk?”

  “No! I’m not dressed, and it’s not proper.”

  “It’s dark out here, and no one is going to see. Can’t you put on your coat and shoes?”

  “Katie,” Uncle Seth whispered, parting the blanket partition. “Who’s out there?”

  “It’s Peyton.”

  “What does he want?”

  “For me to come out there to talk. I’ve already told him no. I’m not properly dressed, but he won’t listen. If he doesn’t stop pounding, he’ll wake everyone up.”

  “Is he drunk?” In the shadow of firelight, Seth crossed his arms.

  “I already asked him the same thing. He says no.”

  “Katie, are you coming out?” Peyton called.

  She shook her head in utter disgust. “Would you hush? You’ve already wakened Uncle Seth, and if you waken these children I’ll put a bullet through your other shoulder.” Katie glanced in Uncle Seth’s direction. “What do I do?”

  “I’ll run him off if you want me to…aw, go on out and listen to what he has to say. I’m awake now, so if he’s drunk or bothers you, holler out. I’ll thrash him good if he touches you. Who knows? He may have something worthwhile to say, and it can’t wait until morning.”

  Uncle Seth must have lost his mind, but she’d hear Peyton out. “Give me a moment,” she whispered at the door. After grabbing her coat and tugging on her shoes, she stepped out into the cold. Soft, wet flakes of snow sifted through the dark and rested on her hands.

  “It’s snowing,” Peyton said.

  She might thrash him herself. “I know, the first one this year. Is this why you came to see me?” Exasperation nibbled at her.

  “No, Katie. I’ve come on serious business.”

  She wished she could see his face; maybe then she could tell his mood. “Be quick about it, Peyton. I’m freezing.”

  “The last time we talked, things weren’t finished.”

  “Today or before you left on patrol?”

  “Before I left. You’re not making this easy.”

  “Why should I? Never mind, I well remember our conversation.” She wrapped her arms around herself.

  “Do you want me to keep you warm?”

  “No. And if you think you can get away with anything, Uncle Seth is waiting inside,”

  Peyton must have thought her remark incredibly funny, because he broke into a fit of laughter.

  “Would you hush before you wake the entire fort,” she said. “I swear, if I find out you’re drunk, I will…I will…”

  “Scalp me?” Peyton said.

  “Now, that’s not funny. I’m going back inside.”

  He took her arm, and the sudden movement obviously caused a surge of fire to his injured shoulder because he winced.

  She gasped. “Are you sure you should be out with your shoulder?”

  “It’s a little sore, but it’ll be all right. I’m sorry, Katie. Please, wait a minute more. I need to talk to you.”

  She tapped her foot against the cold ground. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

  “I’ve had lots of time to think about the two of us, and I have a few things to say,” he said.

  Her heart beat wildly against her chest. For the first time since she came outside, she was glad for the blackness of night. How very hard to care for a man and be so angry with him at the same time.

  “First, I love you and nothing is going to change that. Second, I’m as pigheaded and stubborn as you are.”

  Katie smiled in the dark. “Are you just now realizing that?”

  Peyton sighed. “Third, I want to force Lone Eagle’s hand on this. I think we can make him state his intentions about you. It’s risky, but I can’t expect you to marry me until I know you are free to be my wife.”

  Katie said nothing while she reflected upon his words. “What do you suggest?”

  “Let’s announce our engagement,” he said in one breath. “The Kiowa is here. He said he needed to purchase provisions. We can be certain the message will get back to Lone Eagle.”

  “What if he orders you killed?” Katie said.

  “I’ll risk it. Besides, I can’t live without you.”

  “Now, who is being noble?” Katie said, without a trace of humor. “Oh, I don’t know what to say, Peyton. I want this finished with Lone Eagle, but I’m afraid for you.”

  “I’ve prayed about it,” he said. “It doesn’t do any good to argue with a praying man, especially one who is in love.”

  “I’ve prayed about us, too.” She didn’t feel brave or resolute, only tired of fearing what Lone Eagle might do. “All right, I’ll agree to your plan, and we’ll wait for Lone Eagle’s next move.”

  “We will be better at waiting than he is,” Peyton said, and Katie heard the conviction in his voice.

  She would be a fool not to admit the alarm and fright washing over her whole body. She shivered, but not from the cold. Peyton’s plan brought the whole nightmare to a peak. He could be killed. She could be killed or forced to spend the rest of her life with the Comanche warrior.

  Lone Eagle’s decision still held Peyton and Katie’s future, but God held their destiny. No matter what happened in the weeks ahead, God would be with them. He knew their hearts, and He would protect them. Katie remembered the search for her rehoboth, and a peculiar peace settled upon her.

  “Trust Me, Katie. Let Me guide you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  When Katie stepped back inside the cabin, she found Uncle Seth rocking Emily.

  “I leaned over to kiss her and woke her up,” he whispered. “What did the sergeant want at this late hour?”

  She smiled. “He wants me to marry him.”

  Like a boy, Uncle Seth could barely contain his jubilance. Little Emily opened her eyes wide and sat up in his lap. “Now look what I’ve done.” He chuckled.

  Aunt Elizabeth appeared at their side, and Katie repeated the story to her. Her aunt immediately burst into tears and insisted she didn’t think it right to give up one of her children so soon. “But if you have to leave us, at least it’s to a fine young ma
n.” She hugged her close.

  “I declare,” Uncle Seth said. “I thought the man had indulged himself in too much whiskey, but instead he was drunk with love. And here I sat ready to teach him a lesson. He is a good man, Katie, and I’m proud to call him a son-in-law. I must be getting old, because I forgot he’d sought permission to marry you right after you two had your last spat. I should have known.”

  She could hardly believe her uncle’s words.

  “Yes, the sergeant came to me the day before he left on patrol and requested your hand in marriage.”

  In the next few days news spread quickly through the community, and Peyton and Katie met head-on all the questions surrounding the engagement. The two decided upon a Christmas wedding with the ceremony set for the afternoon of December 24. In less than six weeks, Peyton and Katie would be man and wife. It also meant Lone Eagle had less than six weeks to respond to the news.

  “What if Lone Eagle chooses to do nothing about our marriage?” Katie said one evening after they had announced their plans. The two walked hand in hand back from a visit with Reverend Cooper. All day her excitement had mounted, and she had tried to discount it in light of Peyton’s reasons for an early wedding date. She knew he loved her, but she regretted the reason for the ceremony centered on Lone Eagle.

  “Then I get a wife for Christmas,” he said.

  “I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through with this ceremony.” In fact, she despised the ruse. “I feel like Lone Eagle is the reason you want to get married.”

  Peyton stopped and, with his uninjured hand, lifted her chin. “Lone Eagle is the reason I hadn’t asked before. I needed to be sure you weren’t still in love with him.”

  Warm tears stung her eyes. “Oh Peyton, I’m not sure what I once felt for him was anything but a young girl’s infatuation. I don’t deserve your love. I do love you, and I promise to be a good wife.”

  He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the nose. “Now, are there any more questions filling your pretty little head?”

  “Yes, I have a lot of them. Where will we live?” she said.

  “Let me think.” He laughed. “Since it’s Christmas Eve, I could ask the colonel to let us use part of the stable. The animals could keep us warm. Seems fittin’, don’t you agree?”

  “I’m serious. I’d punch you except I might hurt your shoulder.”

  He laughed. “Truthfully, I have my eye on an empty cabin near the end of the civilian section. It needs a new roof and some fixin’ up, but I can do it.”

  “Are you sure this is really what you want?” She had to be sure.

  Peyton’s answer came in a kiss.

  “I want the two of us married and raising a bunch of children. I want to grow old with you and see our grandchildren play together. We will have a beautiful life together, but not until Lone Eagle releases his hold on you.”

  “What will we do if Lone Eagle puts me into a position where I have to go back to him?” Her words sounded more calm than she felt.

  “You aren’t going back to him,” Peyton said. “Colonel Ross is the only one who knows about this. I’ve confided in him, and he has helped me devise a plan to capture Lone Eagle. This territory will be free of his murdering raids, and I will have Katie Colter as my wife.”

  More bloodshed.

  With the early wedding date, Aunt Elizabeth grumbled and pointed out the lack of necessary items in Katie’s trousseau. Peyton hadn’t given her enough notice to plan a wedding or prepare things to take up housekeeping. Her aunt warned him to prepare for a lecture every day until the wedding.

  Many folks congratulated the young couple. Some of those who had criticized her in the past now smiled politely. The contrary Mrs. Ames even made a point of stopping after church to express her congratulations.

  “If I had known so many people would be nice to you, I would have asked you to marry me the moment you rode into the fort,” Peyton said after Katie received a gift of canned fruit from Mrs. Ames.

  “In one breath, I’m so excited about the wedding,” Katie said. “But in the next breath, I’m afraid of Lone Eagle’s response. We shouldn’t have to make wedding preparations around a threat.”

  “You’re right and I agree totally with you, except we know God’s hand is on our marriage. I don’t believe He wants us to spend the rest of our lives wondering what Lone Eagle might or might not do. Our wedding date merely forces Lone Eagle to make a decision. Sweetheart, it’s the only choice we have.”

  Every word he spoke was the truth. “When would you have proposed if Lone Eagle hadn’t been a threat?” she said.

  Peyton chuckled. “There’s a whole lot of wisdom in proposing to a girl in the middle of a cold dark night. My timing would probably be the same. You would either have to say yes or freeze until you accepted. Lone Eagle had little to do with my proposal.”

  But Katie knew differently.

  Peyton made certain the Kiowa heard the news. Within a week, the Indian disappeared from the fort. The young couple waited for Lone Eagle’s reply.

  Well-wishers invited the engaged couple to dinner, and Lauren and Martha stitched furiously on those special linens required in a young lady’s trousseau. Katie searched through her trunk of belongings and found her mother’s wedding dress. It fit perfectly with no alterations, and Katie wondered if anyone else ever knew such happiness. With tears, which seemed to dampen her face much more than usual, she thought how wonderful it would have been to have her mother see her marry. The emotion rose again when she asked Uncle Seth to give her away. How she missed her father.

  One evening during a walk, Peyton squeezed her hand. “Katie, I want to get out of the army.”

  Katie reflected upon his statement. It sounded like an answer to prayer. “Good. I worry so each time you ride out. My fears seem to chip away at my heart.”

  “Well, my enlistment is up in the spring, and I think I’m ready to settle down into civilian life again. Two reasons for my decision,” he said.

  “A wife who will worry every time you ride out?”

  “How about a Comanche warrior who thinks she belongs to them.”

  “And may want you dead.”

  “There’s more. I’d like to visit my folks in Illinois, and, of course, let them get to know my beautiful wife. I haven’t seen them or my brothers in over five years. I miss them, and it seems right to go home for a visit.”

  “What then?”

  “I’ve been thinking that God may want me to finish medical school.”

  “Oh my, I’ve never heard you say anything about wanting to be a doctor,” she said.

  “Well,” he began. “It’s why I joined the army. It’s a long story, but one I suppose you need to hear.” He rubbed his bandaged shoulder. Lately the wound had started to itch with its healing. “My folks wanted me to be a doctor, so to please them, I attended two years of medical school. I’d never been so miserable in my whole life. I thought the only thing I ever wanted to do was come out west and take up ranching. I sank into a horrible depression, and that was when an old friend of my father’s talked to me about the Lord. Well, the hope in his message and the words of grace and mercy made me realize I needed a Savior. It didn’t take long for me to give my life over to the Lord. My folks were elated. Not only were they going to have a doctor in the family, but they also had a Christian. It took a lot of courage to tell them of my decision to leave school. They were hurt and very disappointed. So I joined the army to give all of us time to heal. The trouble is I never saw a clear picture of what God intended for me until I met you. Then everything moved into place. I hope you will like being a doctor’s wife, ’cause my mind is pretty set on it. I’ve saved enough money to buy us a small home and get me started back at school.”

  “But Peyton,” Katie said. “I have a ranch, It’s green and fertile and is bound to bring a good price.”

  “I forgot about your father’s land.”

  “Our land. I could sell it, and then I’d have a perfec
t trousseau.”

  “Do you want to give up your land?”

  “Of course—it should belong to someone who could raise cattle and horses. My pa used to talk about building a cattle ranch, but it never happened. I don’t want to raise our children in Indian territory. I want them someplace safe. We’ve both seen enough tragedy in this land to last forever.”

  The idea seemed to have a sobering effect upon him. “What’s wrong, Peyton? Is it because the land is mine?”

  “No, sweetheart. With my savings, we can start better than I expected.”

  She wanted so much to marry Peyton and spend the rest of her life with him. To live out their lives without the fear of raiding Indians seemed almost too good to be true. God had blessed her with a good man, one who loved her dearly and demonstrated his compassion and gentleness in countless ways. Peyton would make an excellent doctor. How proud she felt! Now if Lone Eagle would just leave them alone so they could start their life together.

  God, isn’t there anything big or small I can do to hurry this along? Can Peyton leave Fort Davis sooner than the spring? I hate waiting; I don’t know what Lone Eagle is thinking or what he wants from me. Am I being self-centered? Could it be my worries are needless? Help me to give it all to You and not keep pulling it back. Thank You for Peyton. He’s so good to me.

  She took a deep breath and asked God to forgive her for rambling. The truth of the matter was she feared Peyton’s plan might get Lone Eagle killed or Peyton killed. She had no desire for the warrior to die. The idea sickened her. How could she want him dead? Lone Eagle had been her playmate and first love. Although she had been naive and foolish, the feelings at the time were real. The warrior said he loved her, and Katie had believed she loved him. Despite all the horrible injustices he had done, Lone Eagle had shown her a tender side. Nothing excused his murdering raids, but the good things about him did deserve a soft portion of her heart. She desperately needed him to reconsider his claims upon her.

  With all her heart, she believed the whites and the Indians could live together if they tried to understand each other and make compromises. Honor and respect could prevail in the land if each promised to abide by a given set of rules. She refused to think of any more killing for either Indian or whites.