Journey of the Heart

by Mills, DiAnn; Darty, Peggy;

  Elisabeth stroked the nubby blue cloth, smiling with delight. “It was meant for me.” She wished the same was true of Adam, but she tried not to let her hopes soar beyond reason as she took the dress home and hung it in her closet. This was her act of faith that she kept hearing about in church. She would not wear the dress until Adam came home, and then she would wear it for him.

  While war raged in the South, Colorado was torn with conflict between Indians, settlers, and outlaws. Several thousand men had left to enlist in the army while Civil War deserters and refugees flooded into the territory. It was a poor exchange, for the mines and gold mills fell to skeleton crews, while stealing and shoot-outs became commonplace in the streets of Pueblo, Colorado City, and Denver.

  Elisabeth went straight to work and straight home each day, sometimes accompanied by Seth Wilkerson. She feared he was starting to see her as a possible wife, but she tried to maintain the proper balance between her business and personal life. Still, she was grateful for his concern. And still the blue dress hung in the closet, unworn, untouched, waiting for Adam’s return.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Adam and Elisabeth

  As Adam healed, he tended the horses, kept a good campfire, and cooked for the exhausted men. He had learned the reason the soldiers changed clothes as regularly as a company of traveling actors. They were a select group of General Morgan’s men—rebel raiders, as they were known throughout Kentucky. Morgan had been a skilled cavalryman, but he excelled in more than cavalry tactics. He was a master at conspiracy, a trait that seemed to distinguish the magnetic Hines, as well.

  Adam had not challenged the men or argued with them about their beliefs. He did what he was told to do, but evenings by the campfire, he took his Bible out and read it. There were sneers on a few faces, but one by one, the soldiers came around night after night, asking questions about the Bible. After a particularly bad day, they seemed eager to have him share the Word of God, so they would have promises to cling to in battle.

  This is hard, God, Adam prayed one night as he lay awake staring through the warm darkness to stars twinkling overhead. This is hard, but I know why You’ve placed me here.

  Spring stretched to summer. Then, as Hines’s troops pressed into Ohio and fought bravely at Buffington Island, they were finally captured. Adam, ill with fatigue and exhaustion, felt only a numb relief when his part in the raids ended.

  The relief was short lived, however, when the Confederate prisoners were loaded onto boats for a three-day journey to the prison at Cincinnati. As Adam huddled among the jostling bodies, the dull fog of exhaustion cleared from his mind, and the truth of his circumstances hit him with a startling clarity.

  His chances of reaching his father’s farm in Tennessee had been slim before, but now they appeared impossible. His group was met by jeering mobs in Cincinnati who shouted taunts of “Hang them…hang them.”

  A guard shoved him into an overcrowded cell, and in the privacy of midnight darkness, Adam prayed desperately. Some of the men who had been talking with him about the Bible were now eager for anything he could tell them. Everyone feared they would die soon. While they were not permitted to talk with each other, some of the men used their utensils to communicate, carving words in food.

  Bible verse?

  Psalm 21, he wrote back. John 3:16. He had taught them about Jesus during their campfires, and had quoted the twenty-first psalm for one desperate homesick young man. These soldiers seemed to remember everything he had told them, for sometimes he could see their mouths moving silently, and he would read the words on their lips….

  “Should not perish, but have everlasting life…”

  On the third day in prison, the message Adam read in Hines’s mashed potatoes brought hope to his heart. Hines had devised a means of escape—a tunnel to be dug under the dirt floor of the cell next to Adam’s.

  Adam knew it would take patience, determination, and reckless disregard of the consequences to attempt the escape. But despite the obstacles, he felt that God was with them.

  He moved his head in a cautious nod, and Hines grinned. Adam knew in his heart that somehow he would make it to Tennessee.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Elisabeth had taken to reading her new Bible nightly. After spending time in God’s Word, she would extinguish her lantern and pray earnestly for Adam.

  “God, please bless him wherever he is. And please return him safely to us.”

  She also prayed that she could fulfill Adam’s one request of her: accepting her heritage. The important thing was that God was her true heavenly Father. Each night as she crawled beneath the sheets of her bed and extinguished the lantern, she felt a calm assurance that He was going to work things out in her life. And in Adam’s life as well.

  Adam’s escape came in the wee hours, and to everyone’s amazement, weeks of digging actually did pay off. The tunnel was tiny and cramped, but hope and desperation gave them the strength to force their bodies through to the far end where a patch of daylight waited. No good-byes were said; everyone fled into the dark night, hope in their hearts, a prayer on their lips.

  Elisabeth awoke in the middle of the night, her heart racing, her forehead covered with perspiration. What was wrong? Something was wrong!

  Her dark eyes flew over the room, assessing her situation. She was in her comfortable room at Mrs. Tillotson’s house. All was quiet and still. She strained her ears. Had Mrs. Tillotson called out to her?

  She leaped out of bed and peered through her open door to the hallway, where she could see across to Mrs. Tillotson’s room. The elderly lady preferred to have her drapes opened at night so she could lie in bed and look out at the stars.

  Now the moonlight filtered through the lacy curtains, silhouetting Mrs. Tillotson, sleeping peacefully in her bed.

  Elisabeth heaved a sigh. Thank God!

  She stood for several minutes in the doorway, her ears training, her eyes searching every darkened corner. Soon she convinced herself that nothing was wrong; all was just as it had been when she said good night earlier.

  Creeping back to bed and nestling under the quilt, the soft summer night flowed over her room, and she began to wonder about Adam. Was he in trouble? Had something happened to him? Had some inborn sense of alarm alerted her that he needed her prayers?

  “Adam,” she whispered into the darkness as new pain wrenched her heart. Tossing the covers back, she knelt by her bed, her hands clasped together. And she began to pray for Adam, a prayer that went on for an hour.

  Chapter Twenty

  Adam heard the words, and suddenly the world seemed to spin. When he reached out to grip the door frame for support, the woman’s blue eyes were sympathetic.

  “Sorry about your father, but he died peacefully in his sleep, I was told.”

  For a long time, Adam merely stared, scarcely able to believe that despite all he had gone through, it was still too late. Why had God allowed that to happen?

  Tears glazed his eyes before he turned away. Before him, the rolling hills blurred through a haze of tears. He had always liked it here, but some part of his soul had never called it home.

  He remembered his father’s letter, asking him to come back and help him hang on to his land. He had failed.

  “If it will make you feel better, he got your telegram,” the woman said over his shoulder. “With the mail service paralyzed in places, it’s a miracle word got through to him. But I found it among his possessions when we cleaned out the house. He knew you were coming home.”

  Those words were fresh inspiration to a man whose hopes were quickly dying in his heart. Adam turned back to face her, not caring that she saw his tears.

  “Thank you. Who did you say you are?”

  “We are the Canfields. My husband is a land speculator,” she replied, “and we’re from Washington. He bought up some of the land in this area by paying off the taxes….”

  Adam nodded, sick at heart.

  “Where did you come from, young man?”<
br />
  “Colorado,” he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. “And I will be returning there.”

  “Did you travel through the country with the war going on?”

  He nodded, unable to say more. The past months were a nightmare for him. He had no idea how he was going to cross back through the same territory, particularly since he had escaped from a Yankee prison. Bitterness welled within him, but he fought back. He had to keep praying; he couldn’t let hardship steal his faith.

  “Listen, young man.” The woman walked out to stand beside him. “It just so happens my husband is traveling with some men to St. Louis. You would be safe traveling that far with them. It’s the least we can do for you….”

  He turned stunned eyes to her, scarcely able to believe what he was hearing. Just when doubt hovered like dark clouds, threatening to obscure all hope forever, here at last was a new ray of sun.

  “I would be very grateful,” he managed to reply. “I’m going to the family cemetery,” he said. “And then I’ll be back to talk with you.”

  “Thank you.”

  There was nothing left to do but visit his parents’ grave and see for himself that they were gone. They were both Christians, and Adam knew they were in a better place.

  And still the tears streamed, unchecked, down his face as he swung into his saddle and turned his horse toward the family cemetery.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The return to Denver was surprisingly easy and without incident. With the help of Andrew Canfield, Adam reached St. Louis safely and was able to secure a horse and make his return to Colorado in less than a week. He had prayed throughout the journey that Elisabeth was still in Denver—and most of all, that she was not betrothed to another man.

  When Adam appeared at Mrs. Tillotson’s front door, Elisabeth was there to meet him. As her eyes ran over him, her breath lodged in her throat. She could hardly believe he was here. At home. Safe. At last.

  He was a striking figure dressed in a dark broadcloth suit with a starched white shirt and gleaming black leather boots, gifts from the Denver Missionary Society upon his return home. His fashionable new round hat was dark, like his suit, and sat on his thick hair, which was trimmed neatly around his ears. His face was deeply bronzed from the summer wind and sun, accenting the vivid darkness of his eyes.

  “Hello, Elisabeth,” he said, removing his hat.

  “Hello.” She smiled up at him, delighted by the look of admiration on his face.

  He had sent word that he would be arriving Friday afternoon and would like to see her. She was glad she had bought the dress.

  “You look very pretty,” he said.

  “Thank you.” She dropped her eyes to her hands, gripped tightly together before her.

  Behind Elisabeth, Mrs. Tillotson cleared her throat, and Adam looked in her direction.

  “Good evening, Mrs. Tillotson. Would you like to accompany us to Apollo Hall? I’ve been told the play is a good one.”

  “Oh, no, thank you,” she said with a little laugh. “At my age, the hearth is the best place for me on a summer night.”

  “Have you been well?” He smiled at her.

  “I have. And you? We’ve prayed for you daily.”

  He hesitated for a moment. “I am well now. My father passed away.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Elisabeth reached out, gripping his hand.

  “Well, I want you to know that I’ve heard from the folks up in Aspen Valley. They’re eager to have you back home. And your cabin is clean and waiting,” Mrs. Tillotson informed him.

  Adam shook his head. “How can I ever thank all of you?”

  She waved the question aside. “Our thanks are to you. We decided not to replace you; you’re irreplaceable. We’re all excited that you’ll be going back to the valley. Everyone up there sends you their regards. Now, you two have a good time,” she said, letting her eyes drift back to Elisabeth as she stood waiting, her shawl on her arm.

  “Here, allow me.” Adam took her shawl and laid it lightly about her shoulders. “It’s a warm night. I thought perhaps you would like to walk.”

  “That would be nice,” Elisabeth replied, glancing back at Mrs. Tillotson “I won’t be late, Mrs. Tillotson.”

  Mrs. Tillotson merely waved and retreated back into her parlor as Adam and Elisabeth stepped out into the pleasant evening.

  A soft golden twilight was settling over Denver as they strolled along, and Elisabeth felt a rush of happiness at just being with Adam. She turned to look at him, eager to relay her news.

  “I have something to tell you,” she said, looking up from the corner of her eye. She was still trying to adjust to her new ruffled bonnet, but having studied it in the looking glass from every angle, she decided it complemented her face. Watching Adam, she thought he must like it, too, for he was smiling down at her with a huge grin on his face.

  “What is it?” He reached for her gloved hand, inserting it into the crook of his arm.

  “I became a Christian while you were away. Mrs. Tillotson gave me a Bible, and I’m reading it every night.”

  A wide smile lit his dark face. “Elisabeth, that’s wonderful. How do you feel?”

  “Much happier. And more at peace with myself.”

  He nodded thoughtfully, as his eyes trailed over her features. “You look different. I kept thinking it was because of your pretty clothes, but now I think it’s the radiance from your soul.”

  He lifted her gloved hand to his lips and lightly kissed her fingers. “Elisabeth, I’ve missed you.”

  “And I’ve missed you, Adam,” she said as their eyes locked. For a moment, they stopped walking until someone bumped into Adam at the street corner, drawing his attention back to their surroundings. “Well,” he said, looking more serious, “we’d better hurry or we’ll be late for the play.”

  The play was performed by a troupe recently arrived in Denver. Elisabeth and Adam had joined a large audience to see Richard III acted out on stage illuminated by candles, which added to the romance and intrigue of the story.

  Afterward, Adam suggested a late supper at the Tremont House, and they dined on hot tea and roast beef sandwiches. It was the first time Elisabeth had eaten in an elegant restaurant, and at first she was nervous about which fork to use or breaking the crystal glass or chipping the fine china. Adam soon put her mind at ease, however, as he began to talk about his work up in the mountains.

  “Do you want to talk about the war?” she asked gently.

  Adam stared at her, amazed that she was so sensitive to his feelings. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet. Maybe another time. I just want to enjoy being with you, and try to put these past miserable months behind me.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do,” she said, smiling into his eyes.

  “Elisabeth,” he said then hesitated.

  “What is it?”

  He took a sip of tea. “Are you happy here?”

  Her eyes drifted over the well-dressed crowd seated around them. “I should be. But there’s an emptiness inside. Oh, it’s much better since I became a Christian, but I want to do something more special with my life than working in the photography shop.”

  Adam leaned forward. “Do you have any ideas about what you’d like to do?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe. I met Star of the Morning this past year, and she’s been back to visit a few times. She seems so happy…so fulfilled.”

  “I know her,”—he nodded—“and she is a wonderful young woman. The secret to that happiness, however, is her dedication to her work. To God’s calling.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “Would you want to do something like that?”

  Elisabeth’s breath caught in her throat. She sat very still, unsure how to respond. The conversation seemed to be getting very personal, and she wasn’t yet sure how Adam felt about her. She felt reluctant to answer his question, but then she decided the best answer was an honest one.

  “I still have to come to terms with my identity before I can make a succe
ss of anything.” She toyed with her fork, wishing life did not always confuse her so much.

  “Is it so important to you?” he asked.

  She nodded quickly. “Yes, it is. Wouldn’t you feel the same way if you were me?”

  He took several seconds to consider her question; then finally he responded slowly. “I suppose I would. In my case, I just always knew that I was part Cherokee, part white. I accepted it early, and it was never a problem.”

  “That’s because you were loved,” she said tightly.

  His hand closed over hers. “Elisabeth, you are loved now. Can’t that be enough?”

  She stared at him, unable to believe her ears. Loved by Adam? Was it possible?

  “I’m making you uncomfortable,” he said, laying his napkin on the table. “Forgive me.”

  She wanted to tell him so much, to open up her soul to him, but for some reason she held back. Did he mean that he loved her? No, surely he was referring to Mrs. Tillotson, and maybe he meant that he loved her in the sense of brotherly Christian love. Something deep in her heart told her she was fighting with the truth, that the look in Adam’s eyes was sincere. And yet, all the years listening to Jed Greenwood’s rough voice, his constant belittling and scorning, had left her doubting that anyone could truly love her. Then when she returned to the post as practically an outcast…

  “Shall we go?” Adam asked.

  She hesitated, wanting to tell him how she felt, and yet the words were locked in her throat. She came to her feet, saying none of the things that filled her heart.

  “When are you returning?” Elisabeth asked as they walked back to Mrs. Tillotson’s house.

  “On Sunday after services. Are you working tomorrow?”

  She frowned. “I’m sorry to say that I am. Saturday has become our busiest day. But maybe you could stop by the shop,” she suggested, turning hopeful eyes to him.