The Emerald Burrito of Oz

by Skipp, John; Levinthal, Marc

  She looked up as if startled.

  He reached out his hands for Aurora to give him the Burrito. "May I?"

  She hesitated for a moment, then slowly walked over. I was surprised by how possessive she suddenly seemed. Aurora hesitated again before handing the platter to him; and as she did, I watched a shudder run through her. It was kind of unnerving.

  Mikio delicately unwrapped it from the velvet and placed it in the center of the ring of ktulligs. Like magnets, the little curlyques lined up radially around the Emerald Burrito. As in a time-lapse film of flowers growing, they sprouted appendages that reached out toward it. The scintillations within seemed to multiply, the closer the filaments got. By the time they reached it, the Skyrrla was pulsing light regularly, an oscillating sub-strobing, that seemed to shift in a rhythmically complex pattern. The ktulligs had meanwhile joined ends together, forming a wheel/spokes arrangement around the Burrito.

  All of this took about maybe two minutes.

  Mikio stood on one leg, and poked the Doc Martin on his other foot at the ring. He got it really close, then pulled it away. He gave the shoe a really funny look, then I looked and realized that the end of the shoe had disappeared. Not melted or burnt, just gone. Mikio wiggled his athletic sock up through the hole just to make sure his toe was still there and put his hands out in front of him. "Okay—guys?" he said, "maybe we should avoid touching this." Then he held up his finger and strode off to fetch something else.

  Aurora and I looked at each other, then at Ralph, then Dorothy looked at Aurora. Everyone else was gawking as well, except for the Lion and the Tiger and the dog. They were hovering by Dr. Pipt, waiting for the tray to fall.

  "Omigod," Aurora said, hugging herself as if she'd suddenly awakened, naked, in front of home room.

  "What?" I said.

  "I'm just—realizing something," she said, then shuddered and sighed so deeply I thought she might herneate or something.

  At this point, Dorothy spoke up.

  "This is all fine and dandy, not that I understand any of it, but that cloud and that army out there ain't whistlin' Dixie. I gotta go." She realized that hardly anyone was listening to her, put her two index fingers up to her mouth, and gave a loud whistle. The room focused in for a moment. "Any of you people want to go with me, I'm headed out the East Gate, and I'm gonna try to talk some sense into those folks." She cast a meaningful gaze around the room. "Anyone not comin', wish me luck. And I wish it right back at you."

  Then she turned and headed out the door, Toto following up behind. The Lion and Tiger growled disappointment at the missed snacks, but followed as well.

  Aurora looked concernedly in my direction. "Gene?" she said.

  I was torn. I mean, I wasn't anxious any time soon to face those green guys and whatever else was out there, but I felt like I had to do something, and it didn't seem as though I was getting a whole hell of a lot accomplished here. Of course, I still hadn't finished up my business with Mikio, and—

  Before I could decide, Aurora kissed me. "I'll see you soon, Gene." She hugged me, and fixed me with those giant eyes of hers. "God, I'm sorry I got you into all this."

  I started at some lame dismissal of her apology. Before the words could fall out, she interrupted.

  "But you know what?" she told me. "You'll be fine. We're all gonna be fine."

  The she, too, went out the door.

  Ralph looked at me and shrugged. Evidently, he was staying put. He was starting to worry me again. During the last ten minutes or so, he had been pulling an oversized flask out of his pocket and hitting on it. He seemed fine, but how could I be sure?

  Then I saw Ledelei snaking her way through the room, a vision in skin-tight black leather, hefting a massive sword. She was swinging it around her head expertly, never coming close to anyone in the room with it.

  How did these "peace-loving people" keep coming up with all this weaponry? And how did they know how to use it all so well? I guess it was the craze for Martial Arts that had been sweeping the nation for the past hundred years or so, ever since Dorothy and friends took out the Wicked Witch and Nick became King of the Winkies. He's like Oz's first super-hero, and all the kids wanted to be just like him. Hence, a great deal of interest in learning to fight like a Winkie, even though there hasn't actually been anyone to fight in all that time. The prospect of a real opponent just seemed to add to the general glee.

  Lidelei noticed me, grinned slyly, and ducked out the doorway and down the stairs after Dorothy and Company.

  I stared at the door with my mouth open for a few moments, then realized how useless I was being. I went into the room after Mikio, and found him crouched under a table, sorting through vines of various thicknesses. He didn't pay any attention to me.

  "Hi! Mikio, look, I kinda came here to let you know that..."

  He looked up. "Can you hold this? Thanks." He handed me about a dozen of the vines he'd picked out.

  "Anyway, my Superbook—"

  "The laptop!" he shouted, and tried to stand up, bashing his head against the underside ofthe table. I looked to make sure that he wasn't bleeding, and helped him out of there. "Where is it?" he asked, rubbing his head. "I forgot all about that. Is it safe?"

  "Look, Mikio, why don't you take a deep breath," I suggested, "calm down a little, because you're not gonna do anybody any good if you start freaking out. Chill."

  He took my advice, even accepted a sandwich from Dr. Pipt, and while he chewed, I started again, reiterating the conversation at the palace, and the reaction of the laptop. I removed my backpack, and handed it over to Mikio.

  "So, you see, it wasn't my decision. It wants to be here. That's the reason for the parade. Nobody thought I'd make it over here by myself."

  He took it out of the pack, and booted it. Dr. Pipt looked on in amazement. This, I thought, was astounding in itself: that someone who could turn a chicken into a walking lampshade (or whatever) was slack-jawed at the sight of a hunk of plastic and silicon. "It's a magic book!" he exclaimed. "I thought that Glinda's was the only one!"

  I explained to him that there were many more where that one came from, that a company made them in order to get money, and that it wasn't exactly like Glinda's book—at which point I questioned whether or not that was true, never having actually seen Glinda's book. From all accounts, it sounded like some sort of telemetry database, taking readings of everything that happened everywhere, and somehow displaying them instantaneously for Glinda's perusal.

  "I wish I wasn't such an old man," Pipt said, "I'd visit this "Earth," where such marvels pour forth so prosaically!"

  Mikio was excited, too, but for other reasons. "If I can interface this correctly," he said, "I'll not only be able to custom-modify the reaction taking place in the Skyrrla, but I may be able to actually predict—yeah..." And, in mid-sentence, he stalked off with the laptop, the vines and a few more ktulligs.

  "You're welcome," I mumbled under my breath.

  Somewhere around this time, I noticed that Ralph was gone. Maybe he's gone to the bathroom, I thought, and followed Mikio back over to where the Emerald Burrito was.

  While Mikio was hooking up various components, and sticking little fibers into the SCSI port, trying to figure out which PCI slot a stullig might like to cosey up to, Pipt was standing behind him with a bemused look on his face.

  "Mikio, why don't you take the whole arrangement up to the roof? I think you'll soon find the entire business too unmanageable for this apartment."

  Mikio looked up, and it seemed like he wanted to humor the old guy. "Well, Dr. Pipt, I'd like to, but you saw how it was before. I don't think I can move it now."

  "Is there a Stortiwolly handy?"

  Mikio yelled to one of his cohorts to bring a Stortiwolly. Soon enough, someone came over with his hand guiding a white diaphanous sheet that floated like a jellyfish next to him in the air.

  Pipt saw it, and grabbed two corners of it. It seemed to shudder under his touch. "Ah, splendid," Pipt said. "It should
be neutral." Then in one quick movement, he tossed it over the entire Burrito/ ktullig-ring arrangement, picked it up, and handed it to Mikio, meanwhile winking slyly at me.

  Mikio looked like he'd just realized he was on Candid Camera-the wheels were spinning inside his head as he reassessed his opinion of his upstairs neighbor. "Sure," he said, "It's neutral." Pipt picked up the backpack, and they both took off up the stairs to the roof.

  I started to follow, but thought I'd have another look around for Ralph before I did. I needed to pee anyway, so I went to the bathroom door to see if he was already done. The bathroom door was open, no sign of Ralph.

  He'd slipped out, to where I wasn't sure, but judging from the condition he'd been aiming for, I had a few ideas. I unlaced the stupid leather pants, and stood there urinating into something vaguely resembling a toilet: a large violet, rubbery lip extending up from the floor. (Depending upon what you wanted to do, these things would elongate in different directions to accommodate you. If you sat on it, it did one thing. If you just stood up and peed into it, it did another. The violet lip was a flower of some ridiculously huge plant that snaked through the entire city. Evidently the vast plumbing system of Emerald was bioengineered, although the Ozians wouldn't have called it that.)

  While I watched my pee fertilize this enormous plant, I tried to decide what to do. I could stay here, help Mikio in whatever feeble manner was possible, go out to the battlefield in my ogre suit and die, or I could find Ralph and ask a whole shitload more questions.

  I felt like he owed me some answers.

  War Journal

  Entry # 8

  I was waiting in the hallway when Mikio and Dr. Pipt cruised by.

  I wasn't hanging out, laying in wait for him. I was thinking really hard, to myself. The feelings I was feeling were so contradictory, and so intense, that I could practically smell my poor brain hemispheres letting off sparks as they peeled out in either direction.

  The fact was—and I hate to admit it—that I hadn't intended to leave the Skyrrla with Mikio. I don't know what I had intended; frankly, not a whole lot of thought had been expended on the subject. I had the Skyrrla; it was mine; it had been mine since before the beginning. I guess I kinda just assumed it would go with me into battle, keep that indestructible attitude going.

  Suddenly, thinking about it, I wasn't so sure that was a great idea.

  First off, I'd been stoned as a saint, high as a messiah, ever since I touched the motherfucker. A beautiful feeling, but not necessarily the one you wanna smite thine enemies with...

  ...unless, of course, you could make everybody else feel that way, too...

  ...which was where it made sense that Mikio would grab it. Of course it made sense. Maybe he could turn it into something—a FeelGood Generator, a literal God in a Machine—that could help turn the tide away from violence...

  ...and the fact was—now that I thought about it—that Mikio'd had a dream just the very night before. About some machine. That would work really well...

  . ..and all he needed was a power source... .. .but he didn't know what it was...

  ...and here I was, in possession of an object so potent that simple copper wire turned into a floral display: not out of contact, but mere proximity...

  . ..and god only knew what that could mean... ...so of course I began to feel entirely selfish, and utterly self-loathing. Because the fact was, I was jonesing for the thing. I wanted it back in my hands. I felt like a freebase monkey, Pavlov's junkie, already coming down off the buzz . And none too thrilled about it, either. Like, if I could just go up and say, "No, It's MINE!," I could curl up in a ball with the thing and be tranced-out happy forever...

  It was right about this point that Mikio and Dr. Pipt came sailing out the doorway. A handful of friends and hangers-on followed up, in close pursuit. I hung back, trying to screw my head on straight before I made any kind of decision. I didn't want anyone to see me like this.

  In that moment, I tried to regain the high I'd found, tried to put myself back in that place. Or, more specifically, tried to reaccess the really useful parts: the incredible confidence, and sense of connection. It involved shutting up my internal voices: like a yogi, sliding upward on the rhythm of his own breath. I consciously conjured stillness, the death of the yammering jones. I willed myself to there, instead of longing for there.

  This took more than a little doing; but, lo and behold, it came back to me strong. It was part of me now. There was nothing to long for. And I found, to my delight, that it didn't play like a coke or narcotic buzz at all. It was more like that long-ago acid: pinning me to the wall against which I had cowered, flooding me with not just energy but information. Informing me as to the actual fabric of God, or Creation, or fucking whatever.

  Which made the next part a whole lot easier. At a certain point, when I felt clear enough, I pushed away from the wall. The stairs leading down to the battlefield were on my left:. The stairs leading upward to Mikio were on my right. I headed right, taking the stairs two at a time. I knew time was of the essence. But I knew what I had to do.

  At the top of the stairs was a door that was already partially open. I felt like a camera on a warped Steadicam, gliding strangely up the stairs. I focused on the door, the grain of the wood, saw a face like a scream that my eyes zeroed in on.

  I hit the top of the stairs, kicked the scream. The door flew open, and there it was; the entire scene revealed in Panoramascope, a visual so huge it made Imax look like a 12" black and white tv.

  Mikio's roof overlooked the wall at the east end of the city. Directly before me, Mikio and Co. were setting up the Skyrrla Device, whatever it was. They were maybe twenty yards before me, roughly the size of eight-year-olds. I saw their hurly-burly, an ant-farmlike flurry of motion.

  Then I looked at the cloud above.

  It was very close now. Very close. Easily less than an hour and a half from directly over our heads. It was impossibly huge, utterly swallowing the sky. Already, its shadow had buried the forest at the outskirts of my view.

  I moved forward; and with every step, the vast meadows surrounding Emerald splayed out before me. To the east, they were already filling with people. All of them were our guys, it seemed.

  Until I looked into the shadows, at the outskirts of of the forest.

  The Hollow Man's troops were coming out of the woods. Under cover of shadow, their numbers were impossible to get a bead on; but the suggestion of mass dug a pit in my stomach, which it promptly filled with dread.

  I advanced toward Mikio and the coming conflagration, trying hard to hang onto my confident buzz. I could see the green glow coming off the Skyrrla; it seemed brighter than before, but not as intense as when we had connected. Like it was getting charged up, but it's mind was on something else.

  Nobody noticed me until I was almost upon them. All of them— even Mikio—jumped. I was Death, after all, which I guess can be really scary. Especially at moments like these.

  "Aurora!" said Mikio. It was more like a yelp. "I thought you were gone..."

  "C'mere a second," I said.

  He was holding Gene's laptop, which he handed to a friend, checking first to make sure that a jury-rigged cable was hooked up right. He said something I couldn't hear, and the friend looked at me, then nodded. I nodded in return.

  Down below, about two stories down, I could see the crowds moving, all along the eastern wall. A lot of winged monkeys were perched in position, and that made me feel a whole lot better. But a lot of folks just seemed to be milling around. Banners were being strung that I couldn't read from here. Food and drink were being served. I heard snatches of song. All in all, it seemed more like the Superbowl than Armageddon. But maybe that was just me.

  Then Mikio was coming, and his eyes looked so distracted that I felt like a moron for pulling him aside. But he was walking so fast that I didn't have time to freak. Within five seconds, he was upon me.

  "Wow," he said; and all at once, his focus was entirely upon me. The
transition was so startling that, for once, I really had no words.

  "I've only got a second," he continued.

  "I know. Me, too."

  "But, Aurora, I...shit!" He smacked himself across the face.

  Then he hauled off and kissed me, hard.

  And, yeah, I guess I thought about the Skyrrla for a second. And, yeah, a couple other thoughts went flying by there, too. But mostly I was locked up in that holy sensation, where a truly potent kiss has total hold on your being.

  If I was thinking anything, really, I was thinking thank God he kissed me first.

  It was the finest compliment he could have possibly paid me.

  When it was done, he said some stuff that I didn't expect to hear. He said he was scared of either one of us dying before having done that thing. He said that if anyone could pull off whatever needed now to be done, that person was me. And he was praying for me.

  I said, "Aw, sweetie. You just stole all my fucking lines."

  emerald green emerald pale and seeing the l1ght, beautiful l1ght growing in the center, ktull1g fla2h and grey growing grey growing all1gnment0123456789012345678 99012345678999012345678900123456789001234567890 00123456789012345678901123456789011123456789

  UNITY. KNOWING THE ONE CALLED SKRYLLA. MOVING ENDLESS IN EMERALD INFINITE GREEN-SPACE Alignment memory input

  Receive

  seeing now, hearing now touch, smell into the cloud, out of the cloud, through, know it, know the voices of the ones It moves through,

  KNOW it now KNOW it.

  InfiNIte machinething, ageless, bigger than all, intake all universe makes it Itself. Making the hollow, the nospace, moving the NOSPACE ENGINE, Itself. finding the holes to others, snaking through,

  down through it, into the voices of those it moves

  Receive

  and back in I fall, back at Mikio's tappities, full attention now, full the numberbody dancing, full the work and full the integration. Until the Nothing is undone.

  and where to attend?? And what to do? to do? Anything... Mikio calls, and Skyrlla unfolds. I dance, and I stay. and go. Back, back it goes, and far, and as I stay so I go and I go and the green, the green, back back this goes and far. Back and so do I. In. In.