Hundred Stolen Breaths

by Campbell, Jamie

  But this?

  This was not negotiable.

  “Nobody can know Wren is here,” I stated bluntly, my finger tapping out all the syllables on the desk. “Nobody at all. Are we clear?”

  “No, we are certainly not,” Joseph replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “It is my job to do what is best for the people of this city and I will do everything in my power to make that happen. Change is not pretty, it is not something beautiful we can all dance around in our finest outfits. Change is ugly and it is harsh and it is painful. In the end, we all must do what we have to. Otherwise, we lose and they win. It’s as simple as that.”

  By the time he finished speaking, his face was red and the veins on his neck were thick and bulging. I understood what he was saying, I was a trooper for my whole adult life where the same ideas were drilled into me on a daily basis. I’d sworn allegiance to everyone who’d ever said that to me.

  I was just choosing to disagree now.

  There would be no change if it hurt Wren in any way.

  “Wren will not be used,” I repeated.

  Joseph waved me away. “We will discuss this again when you have had a chance to calm down. You have been through a lot today. Get some rest and we’ll pick up this conversation again at another time.”

  “My decision will not change.”

  “Get some sleep, Reece.”

  Our eyes locked together in a battle of wills before I finally looked away. I knew for certain my decision would not change, but if it meant he wouldn’t do anything foolish until we spoke again, I would buy us that time.

  It was all we had.

  Chapter 11: Wren

  People were staring at me.

  Pairs of eyes all turned my way and were openly staring at me.

  It was unsettling to say the least. I was still wearing the light blue jumpsuit I wore as Stone’s prisoner, except that it was covered in dirt from the garden and grime from the floor of the van. My hair was probably a mess and I was probably as dirty as I felt.

  Maybe they had a right to stare.

  I was probably a walking, breathing spectacle.

  What was taking Reece so long? He was locked in the office with Joseph, who clearly hated me on sight, and they were discussing something I wasn’t allowed to know about. The soft murmurs of their conversation filtered through the closed door. I couldn’t make out any distinguishable words.

  Although, I was certain I’d heard my name a few times.

  Maybe I was being paranoid.

  Why were they still staring at me?

  It wasn’t like my appearance had changed in the last thirty seconds. Maybe they hadn’t seen a Def before. Some humans could go a lifetime without seeing one. To some we were the monsters that parents warned their children about. If they didn’t behave, a Def was going to come and get them. We would drag the poor souls away in the dead of night to haunt them forever.

  We used to tell the Def toddlers the same story about the humans.

  A healthy fear of humans was better than telling them they were everything the Defs were not.

  With my disheveled appearance, I was probably proving all the stories right. They would probably make sure to lock their doors tonight, check them twice just to be certain.

  Maybe I was that monster. I had run away from my purpose, left my Maker to fend for herself. My back had been turned to the reason why I was created in the first place. A good clone laid down when it was time to give their organs and allowed it to happen.

  They Served Their Purpose.

  “They might be a while.” Autumn’s voice pulled me from my thoughts as I realized she was standing in front of me. They moved like panthers down here. “How about we get you cleaned up? I bet you’d kill for a shower.”

  “I should wait for Reece.”

  “I’ll let him know where you are. You’ll probably be done and back here even before he’s finished.”

  I didn’t want to be anywhere Reece wasn’t but I did need a shower. Just the idea of having a hot one filled me with sweet excitement. I nodded and Autumn took me away to a large bathroom. Rows of showers lined one wall and a row of sinks were on the other. The entire room was tiled in beige.

  “There’s soap in the squeeze pump by the faucets and I’ll place a towel and some clothes by the sink for you. Try to make it quick, we don’t have much hot water down here,” Autumn explained before she left.

  Thankfully, I was left alone in the bathroom. The room felt too exposed to be naked in with others around. I didn’t want anyone seeing my defective body, not the birthmark on my neck or the deformity of my foot.

  I slowly undressed, peeling the worn clothes away like they were a shell keeping me together. Hopefully I wouldn’t fracture when they were gone.

  Naked, I turned on the faucet and let the water run over my body. My breasts were much fuller than they were before, the curve of my hips more pronounced. For the first time in my life I felt like a woman and not just a commodity someone had paid for.

  It was silly, really. Nothing had changed, I’d just put on weight. Doctor Wagstaff had ensured my diet would fatten me up for the slaughter, it wasn’t magic or some miraculous cure that had made me like this.

  Still…

  I liked it.

  I used to look at the humans in the magazines I stole and I would be so envious of their appearances. They looked healthy, like they could eat three times a day and not have to worry about ever being hungry. To me, curves meant food and nourishment. And I was curvy now, I had had the privilege of being fed and cared for. Even if only for a week.

  The hot water worked its way over my muscles, washing away all the dirt both seen and unseen. It was heavenly, making me feel a hundred times better than I did before. I pulled the tie from my hair, letting it get wet under the stream of water. If I was going to wash, I may as well wash everything.

  Being mindful of Autumn’s warning about the hot water, I tried to be quick and efficient. I squirted handfuls of the soap into my palm and covered my body, making sure I cleaned everywhere so no traces of dirt remained.

  Turning off the faucet, I stepped out of the shower feeling like a new person. I was reborn, clean and curvy. If it wasn’t for my birthmark and foot, I would almost feel human.

  Human.

  It was a foreign concept to me.

  Autumn had placed the towel and clothes on the sink just like she had promised. I never even noticed her return or leave once more. She must have sneaked around like a mouse.

  I wrung out my long hair and wrapped the towel around me. It was white and fluffy, so soft against my bare flesh. The clothes were soft too, a pair of black pants and a white long-sleeved top. They were lovelier than anything I’d ever owned before.

  Autumn had even remembered to include underwear for me. A white pair of panties and a matching bra. They were a little big but I had been wearing ill-fitting clothes my entire life, it was nothing new to me.

  After I was dressed, the only thing left to deal with was my hair. A small toiletry bag was sitting on the edge of the sink. I opened it and found a toothbrush and a hairbrush, along with some hygiene products.

  I brushed my teeth and replaced everything back into the bag. Next, I tackled my hair. It was long and messy, although it was actually clean now which was a step in the right direction.

  My gaze flicked up to the small mirror sitting atop the sink. My hairbrush was poised and ready to begin the monumental task of detangling.

  I stopped.

  Paused.

  Gasped.

  I hadn’t really seen myself in a long time. Apart from a few quick glimpses, there was no reason for Stone to give me a mirror, so I hadn’t expected to look any different from the last time I had looked at myself.

  But I had changed.

  Significantly.

  My cheeks were fuller now and rounded, there was color where there was none before. I didn’t look like a Def living in the village and scraping for food.

  I
looked human.

  And it was startling.

  My hand outstretched to touch the mirror, making sure it was really me staring out. The girl in the mirror met my touch, outstretching too. It really was me.

  The human in the mirror was me.

  Tears welled in the corner of my eyes, pooling there until they fell down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them, I didn’t even know why I was crying. So much had happened, so much horrible stuff, but this person looking back at me appeared strong. It looked like she would be able to take on the world and win just by using her little finger.

  The face in the mirror could do anything.

  And it was me.

  It felt like I was looking at a stranger, someone completely separate from myself. I couldn’t reconcile the woman in the mirror with me. If she walked away now and disappeared, I wouldn’t have been surprised at all. It was more astonishing that she remained to stare back at me.

  Her pink lips didn’t need lipstick.

  The dark hallows around her eyes were gone.

  When she smiled, she showed white teeth like the picket fences outside the rich people’s houses around Stone’s estate. For the first time in her life, she didn’t notice the purple birthmark on her neck. It wasn’t ugly, it added mystery to her.

  Her hair was still a mess, though.

  I combed the brush through my long locks, getting out all the tangles along the way. It was almost down to my waist now, dark like a silk curtain for my back.

  Someone knocked heavily on the door, startling me. “Wren, are you in there?”

  My nerves settled down to relief. It was Reece. “Yes, I’m here.”

  “Are you okay?”

  I was better than okay. I was alive and the girl in the mirror looked human. It could possibly be the best day of my life.

  “Yes,” I replied. “I’m coming.”

  I quickly tidied up, making sure to hang the towel on the rack to dry, and took the toiletry bag and my old clothes with me. The last thing I did before opening the door was to wipe at my eyes. I didn’t want anyone to know I had been crying.

  Reece was waiting just outside the door, pushing off the wall and standing straight when he saw me. His brows were wrinkled, instantly making my good mood turn sour.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked cautiously. We started walking down the corridor, back toward our room.

  “Yeah,” he replied, but I wasn’t convinced. There was something troubling him. “Autumn told me where you were. You look very… clean.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I meant.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, a little embarrassed. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact he was a human or a male that made him difficult to understand.

  Probably both.

  We walked back to the room in silence. I was suddenly hyper aware that it was just the two of us now. Alone. I didn’t know Reece very well, really. I’m not sure what made me insist on staying in the same room. I think it was the fact that the room would seem too much like a cell if I was by myself.

  I trusted Reece. He had never lied to me and had saved my life now on several occasions. He’d had plenty of opportunities to hurt me and all he’d done was protect me.

  He was my hero.

  If it wasn’t for him I would have been lying on Doctor Wagstaff’s cold steel table now. I wouldn’t be breathing, I would be cut open and my insides gutted from me. It probably wouldn’t be the doctor I had come to know as being on my side, but someone who saw me as the Defective Clone I was.

  The room – our room – was too quiet.

  I needed to say something.

  “Thank you for saving me,” I said. It seemed like the words I needed to say the most. Everything Reece had done today was for me and to save my life. That took more courage than any human could ever have.

  “Don’t mention it,” Reece replied as he leaned against the wall. His hands were still in his pockets as if he was unsure what to do with them when they weren’t holding a gun.

  He’d changed from the black guard’s uniform he had been wearing. It was comforting, not seeing it anymore. Sometimes when I caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye I thought he was a real guard, there to take me away again. I panicked every time that happened.

  “I have to mention it. It was very kind of you to rescue me like that. I need you to know that I understand what risk you took and I appreciate it with every part of me.”

  He nodded to acknowledge my words.

  Someone knocked on the door, making me jump. My nerves were instantly on edge even though I knew it was supposed to be safe there. It couldn’t possibly be guards or troopers on the other side of the door unless something had gone very, very wrong.

  Reece put himself between me and the door, standing between us as a human barrier as he opened it. A girl holding a tray stood in the lit archway. Her dark brown hair was placed high on her head, held in position with a rubber band.

  “Autumn said you might be hungry. I’ve come bearing food,” she announced with a smile. She didn’t look worried in the least to be confronted with a guard and a Def as she placed the tray on the counter. “Bon appetit!”

  She lifted the warming lid with a swish of her hand, presenting it to us like I’d seen chefs do on holographic entertainment shows. When we didn’t reply with the same enthusiasm, she shrugged and disappeared out the entranceway.

  Reece shut the door, calling out a ‘thank you’ to the girl as he did. We stared at the food and my mouth started watering. The two plates were covered with eggs, toast, oatmeal, and beans.

  “Are you hungry?” Reece asked.

  “Very.”

  He pulled a chair up to the counter and gestured toward it. “Take a seat. Eat.” He picked up the other plate and took it to sit on the bed, juggling it on his lap as he clanked the silverware around.

  I forced myself to eat slowly, chewing carefully so I didn’t scoff the whole plate down. My stomach was bigger than it was before Stone caught me, but it would still reject a big meal if I inhaled it instead of taking my time.

  I didn’t want to vomit in front of Reece.

  “Did they feed you well at the complex?” he asked.

  I turned around in my seat so I could see him while I ate. “I was under the care of a doctor, he said I was underweight and unhealthy when I arrived. He put me on a special diet to fatten me up like a prized cow.”

  “It seemed to work.”

  “I’m a fat cow now?” I asked teasingly. I knew what he meant, I just liked the way his face flushed red when he was embarrassed and his tongue got all tied.

  “That’s not… I mean…” He sighed. “I just meant that you look healthy. Not fat or like a cow, just healthy. It looks good on you.”

  Heat crept across my face unexpectedly. I stared at my plate so he didn’t see it. “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  “Do you feel better with the additional… health?”

  He wanted to say padding.

  I smirked and let it go.

  “I barely recognized myself in the mirror,” I confessed. “I thought there was a human locked on the other side of the window.”

  “You don’t think you looked human before?” Reece asked, seemingly with genuine curiosity. His brilliant green eyes stared at me.

  I shook my head slightly, suddenly uncomfortable with the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about myself any longer, I wanted to talk about anything else in the world. There was never this much attention on me before, and when it came from Reece, it seemed to be a thousand times more intense.

  “You’ve always looked human to me, Wren,” he said and I wasn’t sure if he had really said it or if I had just thought I heard something amazing.

  “I’m not human,” I pointed out.

  “Yes, you are. You may be a genetic replica but you were born, just like every other human.”

  His words were like honey. They wrapped about me like I was an ancient mummy and
they would preserve me forever. They did something funny to my heart, making it kick up its beats until it was racing in my ribcage.

  Reece saw me as a human.

  He didn’t see a Def.

  I could run away with those words and live in complete happiness while I had them. All I’d ever wanted in my life was to be human. It would mean I didn’t have to run anymore, didn’t have to fear for my life. I could have a home, a family, maybe even have children of my own one day.

  It was difficult keeping a cap on my thoughts.

  I couldn’t get too excited.

  Maybe Reece was only being nice to me.

  Maybe he was lying, for the first time.

  Food was spooned into my mouth so I didn’t have to talk in the moment. I wanted to freeze time as it was now and let that be the end so I could remember it as perfect for just a few minutes. Nothing else could rival that one moment as he took my breath away.

  He stole my breath.

  Took it right from me like it was never mine in the first place.

  The eggs tasted better than I’d ever eaten before. I pushed the beans around my plate and savored them to eat one at a time. Anything to drag out the moment.

  Reece took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and continued. “So they treated you well then? Overall?”

  “They kept me in a cell but it was comfortable, better than the ones at the laboratory. The guards were not nice but Doctor Wagstaff was. President Stone invited me to tea once.”

  His mouth hung open, his fork halfway there as it froze. “You had tea with Stone?”

  “Yes, she asked me a lot of questions but I think she was only trying to scare me.”

  “That sounds more like her.” His fork made it to his mouth as he took the food and continued eating.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “How come you were wearing a guard’s uniform?” I asked. Clearly there was something I had missed between being parted from Reece in Laboratory Delta and now.