Rule Number One

by Nicky Shanks

  She shakes her head. “No, it isn’t right, but you have to let it go if you want to move on too.”

  “Fine, I’ll let it go. Only on one condition.” Her eyebrows raise and I can see that she has her own conditions, but I need to sell her on mine first. “You have to live by my rules.”

  She giggles. “What rules?”

  I take her hand and show her I’m not joking. “The rules I’ve created for my life. I don’t want to be hurt again, not by anyone or anything.” I know I blush when she cocks her head and the strands of stray hair caress her cheek. “I live my life by a set of rules, Julie. You made me break the first one, and you could have destroyed me.”

  “Oliver, you’re being dramatic.”

  I slowly let the air out from my lungs. “All you have to do is agree to the rules. That’s the only way our life can be…perfect.”

  It’s torture, watching her decide. “What are the rules, then?”

  I clear my throat. “There are four. The first rule is not to let your guard down. I put up so many walls after Heather fucked me up, I didn’t want anyone to try and break them down. But you did. You smashed right through them. So I failed my own first rule, but I’m fucking happy I did.” I run my finger down her cheek; she smiles at my touch. “The second rule is don’t take life for granted—you never know when it’ll end. Next, don’t let your secrets destroy you.”

  She holds up her hand. “I don’t have any secrets.”

  “Good, because I don’t like secrets. Now would be the time to tell me anything I wouldn’t like, or confess something.” She shakes her head, so I continue. “And the final rule is: Don’t destroy your own happiness. If you can’t make yourself happy, you can’t make anyone else happy.”

  The air between us is a little chilly. Once she thinks about the rules, she nods in agreement. “I can agree to those, but there’s just one thing I have to show you first.” She holds out her hand. “I need your car keys.”

  “For what?” I fish them out of my pocket and give them to her.

  “To obey your ‘no secrets’ rule. We need to go to the car, but Brandon is still out there—”

  I hold my hand out to her. “Let’s go.”

  We trek down to the Jeep and she rummages through it. She pulls several worn and tattered books from the underside of the front seat. She doesn’t tell me what they are, just takes my hand again and drags me back upstairs. “Let’s get ready for bed and then I’ll show you what these are,” she says and starts stripping naked in front of me.

  She isn’t a stranger to my bedroom. She knows where to find a t-shirt to sleep in as I take off my jeans and hop into bed next to her. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  Julie bites her bottom lip. “Okay, before you freak out—”

  “What are they, Julie?” I demand. “Just tell me.”

  She sighs and pushes an orange book toward me. “Your father’s journals. I have four of them but there are dozens back at the cabin.”

  “Journals? Like diaries?” I open the book. Sure enough, my father’s handwriting is kicking me in the face. “How far do these go back?”

  She shrugs. “I’m not sure. I started reading them when your mother found out she was pregnant with you.”

  My face pales. “My mother?”

  “Yes, and you probably won’t like hearing what he has to say about her. She doesn’t seem like she was a very nice woman.”

  I have to keep these journals away from her.

  “She wasn’t a nice woman,” I mutter and slam the book shut, taking the rest out of her hands. “We should put these away for now.”

  Julie tilts her head in confusion. “Don’t you want to know about her?”

  I turn off the lamp beside the bed and lie down with her. “I know about her; my father told me stories. I have some memories of her. Let’s just go to sleep, okay?” I want her to stop asking me questions about it; I don’t want her to know any more than she needs to.

  I told her not to let her secrets destroy her. Destroy us.

  But she can’t know this one.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Heather

  There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Oliver will come running back to me. Once he’s done with what’s-her-name, that is. Honestly, I think this is good for him to get out of his system before we get back together. So he can know, without a doubt, that with me is where he truly belongs.

  Julie is so…dull.

  I wonder if he even buys her nice things like he bought for me. Of course, I had to sell most of those things to afford to continue my lifestyle. It’s just a matter of time before I get back into Oliver’s pocket—I mean, get back into his heart. I laugh and the bed stirs next to me. I forgot that I’m not alone. Before I can come up with a plan to escape, he groans and holds the pillow over his head to block out the sunlight.

  Whatever his name is.

  Mark…Josh…Brandon. That’s right. Brandon.

  He literally ran into me down at the hotel bar last night. He was so freaked out that it was sort of pathetically cute. I was more than desperate to sleep away my frustration over Oliver not returning my calls. Preferably with someone other than Casey—that was getting old.

  Poor Nora though, she didn’t look well after I’d left her hospital room, and Casey, he’s just a walking disaster.

  “Oh, man.” Brandon rubs his eyes and opens them. He tries to focus with all the fresh sunlight in the room. “My head is pounding.”

  “Here,” I say in a cold voice. I hand him a few aspirin and some water. “Take these and leave.”

  He sits up slowly and rubs his head. He pops the pills in his mouth and guzzles down the water in two drinks. “I’ll leave when I damn well please.”

  I scoff. “Oh my God, do I need to call security?”

  Brandon’s smile widens and his hands creep underneath the blanket. He grabs my thigh and squeezes it—hard. “If you want me to do what I did to you last night again, just say the word. Your wish is most definitely my command.” His hand slides up my thigh and starts moving toward my inner leg. I let him touch me for a few more minutes so I can remember what it feels like, getting my fill and shaking him off as he laughs.

  His laugh chills my bones.

  “I was pretty drunk last night—what did you say your name was?” He rubs his eyes again. He’s pretty good-looking, but he isn’t sexy like Ollie. Every single woman I’ve ever encountered when I was next to him acted jealous; I always laughed in their faces when they even tried to talk to him. He always blamed me for him not being able to make and keep friends, but I was always looking out for his best interest: Me.

  I bite my bottom lip. “I’m going to order breakfast—are you staying?”

  Brandon nods and groans. He floats back down into the soft, expensive mattress. I roll my eyes and pick up the phone on the bedside table, dialing the number one. I wait three rings before I hang up. Annoyed, I dial another time.

  “Good morning, this is the front desk. My name is Alejandro, how may I assist you?”

  I sigh loudly into the phone. “Alejandro. This is Heather from room 1409; how many times do I have to ask you people to pick up on at least the second ring?”

  He doesn’t speak.

  “Okay, let’s just see if we can get my breakfast order right this morning, shall we?”

  “Yes, Miss Heather. What would you like this morning?” His voice is steady. I know he’s probably rolling his eyes at me but I don’t care.

  “Strawberries, pancakes and eggs, some bacon, and maybe a little avocado…can you handle that?” I snip at him. Alejandro reads my order back to me and then I hang up the phone. Brandon slides out of the bed and locks himself in the bathroom. I heard the shower running and I cringe.

  Who takes a shower without asking someone in their own home?

  I take this opportunity to get dressed and run a brush through my black hair. I apply a little foundation and natural-colored blush to my cheeks, then pinch them to make them a l
ittle pinker. I roll on some tinted lip balm and shiver at the thought of Ollie’s lips on Julie’s. I run my hand down my left leg and frown. I need to shave, but he’s in my shower.

  The waiter with the food knocks on the door. I don’t have any money for a tip, so I search through Brandon’s pants for his wallet and find something else instead.

  A large wad of rolled-up money.

  I find his wallet and open it, taking out all the cash in there too and sifting through for a twenty. Then I put everything back in the way I found it and open the door for the waiter. He brings in the food and lays it out for us, serving me my usual morning mimosa. I hand him the twenty without saying a word so he’ll leave.

  I hurry up and stuff my face full of pancakes and strawberries; I slide a few pieces of bacon into the bedside table for later. I like to eat in peace where no one can judge me sometimes.

  Brandon comes sauntering out of the steamy bathroom, towel around his waist. He sits down across from me, shoveling food onto his plate.

  “So, who were you running from last night?” I take a few more strawberries and nibble on them while he eats like a pig. “You said something about doing something bad.”

  He nods. “I don’t know if I did something bad, but I’m leaving town just in case.”

  I pout a little and whimper as if I really care that he’s leaving. “So soon? You couldn’t have done anything that bad—you don’t seem like a bad person. Not that I’m one to judge anyone right now.”

  “I’m a bad person, trust me,” he mutters, and it kind of creeps me out. “You don’t know me, you don’t know what I’ve done to people, and you don’t know what I am running from.”

  “O-okay, well…” I hold my arm toward the front door. “Feel free to mosey on out whenever you feel like it, then.”

  He snickers into his pancakes. “Oh, I intend to. I just want to fill my stomach first. Is that okay?”

  I nod and say nothing. I’m not quite sure if I should call the cops. I would have to explain how I know him and that would be embarrassing. He eats for a few more minutes and then pulls his pants on. He takes out his wallet and I cringe. He opens it and sees the money missing.

  “Just give it back to me and I won’t hurt you.” He’s suddenly next to me, looking down into my eyes. “All of it. I’m serious.”

  I squeak and take the roll of money from my pocket. “I have it all but the twenty I tipped the waiter.” I think he’s going to snap my neck off, but he sighs and takes the money from my hand and returns to putting on his clothes.

  He hurries and dresses, looking around to make sure he’s not leaving any traces of himself behind. He stares at me for a moment from across the room. “I’m not going to hurt you—please relax,” he stays. “I’m just going to leave, okay? I have a train to catch anyways. I’ll bill you for the twenty.” He winks and takes one last look around before leaving me alone in the room. I quickly run to the door and use the chain and all the locks, letting out a long breath and clutching my chest.

  That was a close one. At least he said he was skipping town. I feel gross enough to shower and finish the bacon in my nightstand, but I realize I’m alone again. Well, at least I’m alive.

  I can’t very well win Ollie back if I’m dead, can I?

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Oliver

  I make it through the entire morning without Julie asking me about those damn journals or my mother again. I know she wants to, though. It’s shaking her to her bones, all the questions that she has for me inside that beautiful head of hers.

  My father did tell me stories to glamorize my mother, but I always knew the truth. The last time I saw her was when I was five, but I know that she lived in and out of Rockford until my father died and then I lost track.

  I truthfully don’t know if my mother is alive or dead.

  Right after I tell Julie I don’t want any more secrets, I pile mine on thick. To be fair, this isn’t so much of a secret as it’s just something I don’t want her finding out. My mother isn’t a good person, point blank. But I can’t even be honest with her about how I feel, and I’m lying to her.

  She paces the floor while talking on her phone. Her legs call to me. I’m not sure who she’s talking to so I don’t reach for her. Her eyes dart to mine, as if she’s reading my mind, and gives me a warning look. “Nora is asking for us.” She sits down next to me, pocketing the phone. “That was her mom.”

  “Both of us?”

  She nods and looks over at me, tears in her eyes. “I’m not sure that I want to go. This doesn’t feel good.”

  “If I have to forgive Casey, you have to forgive Nora.” I watch her pout her thick lips at me. “You’re the one that said you wanted to move on…well, this is part of moving on.”

  “You’re right,” she says, and I’m a little surprised. “You’re totally right. I should give her the chance to apologize and then just set her free too. I’m not sure she even cared about me at all during our sudden friendship.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “Sudden friendship? I thought you two were best friends?”

  “We went to the same high school. Then a year ago she messaged me online and wanted to hang out. We found a kinship in each other,” Julie says to me. “So, then we started hanging out more and she introduced me to Staci and Amber. Then we suddenly were all best friends and I was sucked into this typhoon of mascara and fake nails and designer handbags.”

  I laugh so hard my gut feels sore. “Must be difficult to be so incredibly beautiful and loved.”

  “It really is,” she jokes and snorts.

  I start to reach for her, but she’s already moving off the bed. She dresses in her clothes that we came home in last night. “We need to get you some clothes for that closet if you’re going to be staying here more.” I wink at her and make her blush. “You can even have all of my dresser drawers if you need them.”

  “Oh,” she says, “like move my things here?”

  “Only if you want,” I quickly say to try and save face. “No pressure.”

  She sits down in a chair in the corner to put her shoes on. She’s careful not to make direct eye contact with me. “Let’s just get through this and then we can focus on everything else. Breakfast?” She stands up as if nothing just happened. “I’ll make you some eggs while you get dressed and then we can go.”

  I nod as she leaves me alone in the room. “Dammit!” I hear from the kitchen as I pull a pair of jeans on and a black t-shirt from the chair I’m not sure is even clean. I find her sucking on her index finger and furiously fluffing the scrambled eggs with a fork. When she sees me come into the room, she shows me the finger. “I burnt myself,” she says, and I kiss it. “Thank you. The eggs are almost done; sit down.” I let her serve me scrambled eggs and toast, then serve herself and sit down.

  It’s nice to see Julie slowly slide the fluffy yellow eggs into her mouth and savor them. Heather hardly even picked up a piece of bacon around me, but Julie is sitting less than five feet away and she’s already eaten two pieces. She hands me the salt and I hand her the pepper; we both smile at each other. I pat her leg underneath the breakfast bar. I feel so at peace right now that I must be dreaming her up entirely in my head.

  I want her so damn bad that it hurts.

  “What do you want to do after we see Nora?” I ask.

  “Oh, we should go to the zoo.”

  “The zoo? What in the hell for?” I laugh but I can tell I’ve hurt her feelings. “I’ve never been to the Rockford Heights Zoo, have you?”

  She nods. “I go at least once a month. I like it there—it’s peaceful.”

  “Then to the zoo we will go.”

  Julie can tell I have no interest in going to see a bunch of animals in cages. Actually, the thought of zoos always depressed me. Like elephants at a circus…you won’t catch me at one of those, either. “No, it’s okay, I can go another time,” she says. “We can go shopping—we do need groceries.”

  I smile and I can tell
I’m blushing. Her giggle makes me blush harder. She catches my embarrassment. “We need groceries, huh?”

  “Oh, well…” She bites her bottom lip.

  “I haven’t been to the zoo. I want to go. Agenda solved, ready to go?” I don’t give her a chance to answer before I tug on her hand; we leave the plates and food where they are. I want to rush her out before she has time to rethink going to see Nora. I can tell she’s worried the entire ride there. Even when we get inside, I have to push her into the elevator before it closes on her.

  Nora’s door is open and ready for us to walk right in. I do, but Julie doesn’t.

  “Oliver,” Nora says, surprised to see me. “I didn’t think you would come, especially not by yourself.”

  I look around for Julie and see her silhouette outside in the hallway. “Neither did I, but I have someone I really care about hurting because of what you said to her, and I’d like to hear your side of it.”

  “I’m really sorry, Oliver. I shouldn’t have taken what Brandon did out on you guys.”

  Julie sneaks into the room and hides behind me. “I know, Nora. I forgive you,” she says and goes to her friend. As they embrace, I can feel a large balloon expanding in my chest. Pride overcomes me and I sit in the chair next to the door, watching Julie.

  Everything she touches turns to gold.

  She is absolutely perfect in every single fucking way.

  “Oliver?” Julie giggles and snaps me back to reality. “Did you hear what she said?”

  I shake my head. “No, sorry.”

  Nora looks annoyed. “I wanted to apologize to you about Heather. I don’t know how she knew that all of this would happen, but she knew.”

  I suddenly find myself drawn to Julie’s eyes. When she looks at me, everything else melts away. I don’t give a shit about Nora; I don’t give a shit about what she’s saying. I think I hear her whisper something to Julie about the rules of breaking up. I need to make her shut up so I can take Julie home.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I grunt. “I believe you.”