All The Things We Were (River Valley Lost & Found Book 3)

by Kayla Tirrell

  “Dad let me quit.” I refused to offer up the details of why.

  “He did that just to spite me.”

  "Oh, please."

  "You don't know your father like I do."

  “Goodbye, mother.”

  She was saying something else as I hung up, but I couldn’t make it out. My mind was moving too fast to process her words. My mom only wanted me for money. I should have known there was a reason for her sudden appearance in my life. I hated the way she made me feel, like I was only worth it if she benefited somehow.

  My phone started ringing again. She just had to get the last word in, and for some inexplicable reason, I answered it.

  “What?” No response. “You called me, so go ahead and finish what you had to say.”

  The voice on the other end cleared their throat, but even in that small sound, it was obvious it was not my mom on the other line.

  “If this is a bad time…”

  “Crap, Rainier. I’m so sorry. I thought you were someone else."

  "I'm glad that's not how you plan on greeting me from now on."

  "Did you really think that's how I was going to act after yesterday?"

  He chuckled. “I’ve actually been thinking a lot about yesterday, and I was wondering if you’d like to um… go grab a burger or something.”

  “A burger with the vegetarian?” I asked with a scandalized tone.

  “Some annoying girl I work with insists that the burgers at The Farmhouse can turn even the strictest vegetarians. Want to help me prove her wrong?” Even over the phone, I could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Sure. Pick me up at six,” I said with confidence and hung up the phone before I could overthink it. As soon as I did, I squealed to myself.

  I hadn’t felt this adored since…well, it had been a while. I planned to bask in it as much as possible.

  Rainier showed up at my house with two minutes to spare, and I even let him drive us to the diner in his station wagon. A memory of Julian and I fighting came to surface. I had refused to let him drive on our first date because I was too embarrassed to be seen in his piece of crap car. He was upset and called me shallow when I got into the driver’s seat of my car and refused to move. I'd won that argument, and we drove in my car from that point on.

  Sitting in the passenger seat of Rainier’s car didn’t give me any of those same feelings. He was cute and talented, kind and funny. What did it matter what he drove? I let out a small laugh at how different I was from the girl I was even a year ago.

  “What are you thinking about?” Rainier asked from the passenger seat. We were just pulling into the parking lot.

  “Just how life can change so quickly. Sometimes you don’t even know what’s happening.”

  "Tell me about it."

  Neither one of us said anything else as he drove to The Farmhouse. Once there, Rainier parked the car and raced out to run around and open my door. He didn’t need to run though. I planned to let him pamper me. I hadn’t been this excited about a date in a long time. I hadn’t even wanted to date since my breakup with Julian, so doing this at all was huge.

  As we walked toward the building, Rainier reached for my hand. I let him take it, that small gesture causing more butterflies than the over-the-top acts I’d insisted on in the past. Maybe it was because I didn’t have to ask for it that it meant so much. Or it could have been because genuine feelings were developing between the two of us. The possibility of the latter scared me after my talk with Jenny, but I was determined to enjoy this night.

  Nothing could bring me down from this high. Or, at least, that’s what I thought until we walked through the front door. Last time I was in, I’d lucked out and not seen either of the waitresses who hated me. Tonight, both girls were working and wore matching scowls on their faces. Even Rainier picked up on the hostility coming from Katie and Gwen as we walked in.

  “Do you want to try somewhere else?” he asked with scrunched brows.

  Yes. I wanted to scream. Take me anywhere but here. It was fun to pretend we were different people, that I was a different person. But I had a reputation to uphold.

  Surprisingly enough, I was upset by the anger radiating from them, but I wasn't willing to let either of them see how much their looks affected me.

  “No, let’s get those burgers you promised.” My smile was so fake and I hated that Rainier didn’t decipher it.

  Instead, he smiled and turned to Gwen. “Can we get a booth for two, please?”

  She seated us with false cheer and left us to look over the menu.

  “Okay, what was that all about?” Rainier asked. I shrugged in response, knowing a simple lift of the shoulder could be interpreted so many ways. I didn't want to lie, but I wasn't ready to tell him about the horrible things I'd done. I truly felt like I had changed in the last couple months, but doubted Rainier would be so forgiving. At least not yet.

  When I didn't respond, he went on. “That was Gwen, right? Sarah always has such great things to say about her, but she seems a bit like a bitch to me.”

  I gasped at his words. I hadn’t heard Rainier cuss before. “Does your sister know you talk like that?”

  He chuckled. “Oh, come on, Michelle. You were just talking about how people change. Is one mean name actually that scandalous?”

  “When it comes from you? Yes.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “Hey, I’m going to go wash up before we eat. Will you just order double of whatever you normally get if our waitress comes back by?”

  “So a double burger with bacon and no bun?” I asked innocently, which earned another laugh from Rainier. I wanted to make him laugh every minute of every day. The deep sound made my heart beat a little faster than usual.

  “As long as it’s double bacon too,” he said with a wink and I about died. Who was this guy and where did all this newfound confidence come from?

  “Deal.”

  I watch as he walked away and expected Gwen to come over as soon as he was out of earshot to let me know how much she hated that I was sitting in her section tonight. Not only was she good friends with my ex-boyfriend, but she was probably still upset about the time I set her boyfriend up with my best friend.

  I’d brought Mitch and Avery into The Farmhouse while Gwen was working with every intention of making her jealous. It worked and she and Mitch were living their happily ever after. I was still waiting for my thank you from them, but after several months, I doubted it was ever coming.

  Even Katie was suspiciously out of view as I waited for one of them to either yell at me or take our order. I pulled out my phone as I waited but just scrolled without looking at what was on my screen. I’d been so excited to go on this date, and now I felt like something horrible was about to happen.

  I didn’t have to wait long to find out what that something was. As Rainier walked back to the table, I saw the expression on his face and knew why I hadn’t seen Gwen or Katie the entire time he was gone. I also now knew why he took so long to wash his hands. They’d been talking, and it wasn’t kind.

  “Who are you?” He stood by the booth, not bothering to sit back down.

  “You know who I am,” I answered with baited breath.

  “Did you seriously try to set up Gwen’s boyfriend with someone else even though you knew they were interested in each other?”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “And you broke up with your ex because he was going through hard times?”

  “That wasn’t wh–”

  “And then you spread rumors about him just because?”

  “I had a lot going on.”

  “What should I be preparing myself for, Michelle? Poor Rainier who never dated anyone and didn’t know that this was all some sick joke?”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  Tears threatened to come to the surface, but I’d had too much experience with hiding my feelings to let them. I did what I normally did in situations like t
his. I put a cold expression on my face and lashed out. Anything to avoid feeling vulnerable. Anything to avoid letting people see how affected I was when things got hard.

  “I guess you’ve got it all figured out then. At least I won’t be forced to put up with your newbie kisses anymore. I’d hate to think how awkward everything would be.”

  I wanted to take the words back as soon as they were out of my mouth. I knew I’d gone too far. Rainier wasn’t like other guys I’d dated in the past. The guys who were as quick to say something hurtful in an argument. The ones who only cared about themselves.

  No, Rainier was the kind of guy who opened doors, got up out of chairs, and saved his kisses for people he cared about.

  Rainier closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m an idiot. People don’t change.” He started to walk out before he stopped and turned around. “Damn it, Michelle, I can’t just leave you here. Get in the car, and I’ll drive you home.”

  I knew if I called Avery or my dad, they would get me, but a glance over at Katie and Gwen had me second-guessing whether or not I wanted to wait for someone to get me. They were both looking smug with their arms crossed over their chests.

  I didn’t trust myself to speak. The shell I had in place was dangerously close to breaking. Instead, I got up and followed Rainier to his car.

  We rode in uncomfortable silence. Neither one of us willing to speak, not even when Rainier dropped me off at my house.

  It was only when his car pulled away that I allowed myself to cry.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Rainier

  I sat in my room playing the song that had been stuck in my head the entire summer. I'd been playing it all morning.

  I realized words had never come before now because I hadn’t experienced emotions powerful enough for it until my date with Michelle. So while they still weren’t solidified, I had the beginnings of lyrics for my song. I had been blindsided when Katie and Gwen cornered me on the way to the restroom. I hadn’t spoken more than a couple words to either of them before then, although I knew Sarah knew them pretty well from work.

  I shouldn’t have been surprised by what they said. I had heard plenty of rumors about Michelle over the years. Matt had gone to school with her, Jenny had gone to school with her, Sarah had her own stories.

  These were some of the closest people to me. I wish I would have listened to what they said instead of falling for Michelle and her sparkling eyes and red lips and…

  “Can you please stop playing that song?” Sarah stomped down the stairs into my room. “I’m going to have to go on anti-depressants just from hearing it over and over again.”

  I ignored her and kept playing. I didn’t want the I-told-you-so’s. I didn’t need her snarky comments or judgment. She had no clue how I felt after being played for a fool.

  “Rainier,” Sarah said, reaching out to grab my guitar, but I turned, so it was just out of reach. “Enough of this. Michelle is an awful person. It’s not some huge secret.”

  “I thought maybe she was letting me see a different side of her.”

  “Was it the constant teasing that made you fall for her? Maybe it was the way she only wanted you when you became popular?”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Really? Because I distinctly remember you coming home from work and telling me–”

  “Sarah. Can you just drop it this one time?” I snapped.

  Sarah’s eyes widened before her entire face softened. “Holy crap. You have feelings for her, don’t you? Like, you actually like her.”

  I didn’t respond because I was afraid of what I would say. Yes, I liked Michelle, but I wasn’t sure it was enough. So I kept playing my song.

  My sister wasn’t easily dissuaded. “If you like her and she likes you, why are you down here playing your guitar instead of talking to her?”

  I didn’t have an answer. I stopped playing and looked at her. “Do you think people can change? And I don’t mean the small stuff. Can a mean girl become someone decent? Is it possible Michelle is not the same girl who did all those horrible things? Can that kind of transformation happen in one summer?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Me neither.” I started playing again, and this time Sarah successfully snatched the guitar from my hands.

  “I don’t know because I don’t know Michelle like you do. But you’ll never know if you keep sulking down here instead of talking to her.”

  “Fine. But let’s say I talk to her. Let’s say she convinces me she’s a new person, that she’s not that mean girl anymore. How can I trust her? How can I know she’s not deceiving me for another one of her schemes?”

  “You can’t know. I think this is one of those moments where you take a leap of faith.”

  “And if I’m wrong?”

  “Well, then I guess you’ll get to be jaded like the rest of us,” Sarah answered with a shrug.

  “And what made you so jaded, little sister.”

  “Nope. This conversation is not about me.” She stood up and started moving toward the stairs, taking my guitar with her. “You can have this back after you talk with Michelle, and not a minute sooner.”

  I laid back on my bed. When did my sister become so wise? As the older brother, I should have been the one dispensing advice or threatening to beat up anyone who hurt her. And yet, somehow, Sarah was the one pointing out just how stubborn I was acting by not giving Michelle a chance to explain herself.

  She’d told me she didn’t take rejection well, and I had not only spurned her affections, but I had done it publically in front of two girls who obviously had a history with her.

  Tap tap, tap.

  I jumped up and grabbed my phone. Maybe it wasn’t too late to sit down and talk with Michelle. I at least owed her the opportunity to explain everything I’d heard the night before. She’d tried with tears in her eyes, and I’d been the monster when I didn’t let her tell her side of the story.

  Me: Can we talk?

  I didn’t expect an immediate reply. If I was honest with myself, I wasn’t sure if I anticipated a reply at all, but within minutes my screen lit up with a text from Michelle.

  Michelle: It’s fine, Rainier. This summer was fun, but we both know we can’t make it work.

  Me: Just an hour.

  Michelle: I’m busy.

  I stared at my phone trying to formulate a response that never came. I called Jenny.

  “Rainier, is everything okay?” Her voice was filled with concern..

  “Yeah, everything is fine. You’re working, right?”

  “Uh, huh.”

  “Is Michelle working?”

  “No.”

  “Is she on the schedule for today?”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Jenny,” I said her name with urgency. “Is Michelle working today?”

  “No, but–”

  “Great, thanks” I interrupted before hanging up.

  I got dressed, ran my fingers through my hair, and ran up the stairs. I couldn’t be sure if Michelle was busy or avoiding me, but I needed to make an effort with her. And I needed to do it now before I lost my nerve.

  “Whoa, cowboy,” my dad said steadying me after I ran into him. I hadn’t been paying attention to anything as I raced out of the house. “Where are you going in such a hurry?”

  “I think I made a huge mistake and I gotta fix it.”

  “At work?” he asked, blocking my way.

  I didn’t have time for this. Every minute I spent talking to my dad was one more I didn’t have to clear the air with Michelle. “With a girl.”

  “Jenny?”

  “No, dad, not Jenny. Michelle. I work with her at the bookstore.”

  “Have I met her?”

  I was bouncing on the balls of my feet. There was something about setting your mind to a specific goal and not being able to do it right away. All of that energy came out in movements that made me feel like I was gearing up for a race.

  “Dad, I
’d love to tell you about her sometime, but I need to go. I was a jerk, and I need to fix it.” I pushed past him making my way to the front door.

  “Flowers,” he called out after me.

  I turned around. “What?”

  “If you messed up, you better bring her flowers.”

  “Where am I going to find flowers in River Valley?”

  “Son, have you ever looked in our yard? Your mother has some beautiful Iris blooming right now. Come on,” he said with a smile. “I’ll help you get some to bring to the Michelle.”

  The yard had plenty of edible plants in raised beds, but I hadn’t even considered the many flower beds near our home. There were beautiful blooms everywhere that I never noticed anymore because since I saw them every day.

  It only took a few minutes to make a bouquet of the purple flowers. My father and I talked as he helped me gather the plants and a vase to hold them. In that time, I told him a little bit about Michelle. How we were so different, but that there was a chemistry between the two of us that couldn’t be denied.

  “Did you know your mother and I hated each other the first time we met?”

  “What?”

  “It’s true. We had all these ideas about who the other person was or wasn’t. We refused to talk to each other for months.”

  “But you guys are so perfect for each other.”

  He chuckled. “We didn’t know that though. It took a late night studying for exams before we really talked. We were both in the library during finals week when she came over asking for a pen. Hers had run out of ink. She had the sourest expression on her face like she wished she could have asked anyone else. Lucky for me, we were the only ones there that night.” My dad was smiling as he looked off into the distance. “She was beautiful. I asked her to sit down and take a study break with me. Best decision of my life. We ended up talking the entire night instead of studying. We both did poorly the next day, but it was worth it.” He turned back to look at me. “I’m glad you’re giving this a chance. I’m not saying this girl is your soulmate, but don't ignore those feelings either.”

  “Thanks, dad,” I said as we finished up. “And who knows, maybe I’ll end up with some great story like you and mom.”