by Tamara Black
I opened the passenger side door of Tanesha’s car and got in.
“Thanks again,” I said. “It’s way too cold out there.”
“No problem.”
She pulled out of my apartment complex parking lot. I yawned.
“Stop that,” she said, laughing.
“I’m so tired.”
“Up partying last night?” she asked.
“No, nothing like that, I’m afraid. I’ve been delivering pizzas at night too for extra money.”
“You’re the manager, aren’t you making enough money to survive?”
“It’s a long story,” I said.
“You’ll have to tell me sometime.”
“Maybe.”
We kept quiet the rest of the ride while I rested my eyes.
“We’re here,” she said. “You fell asleep.”
“Crap, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. I would’ve let you sleep, but you have the keys.”
I smiled and opened the car door. We walked across the parking lot to the back door. After unlocking and opening it, I held the door open so she could go in first. She walked around, turning on lights and firing up the oven while I headed to my office.
She had only been working at Pizza Pizza for a few days, but I already felt like we’d been working together for years. With so much on my mind, I missed having someone to talk to about life. Could she be that person for me? I wondered.
Putting the thought out of my mind, I got to work starting the books for the day. A few minutes later, I headed to the back of the store to help her make dough. She had already dumped the flour into the mixer. I walked up as she poured in the warm water and yeast.
“You’re getting good at this,” I said. “You after my job?”
“Maybe,” she said then smiled.
The Hobart dough mixer fired to life. We stepped back, waiting for it to mix the dough. I leaned against one of the prep tables.
For some reason, I had a sudden desire to tell Tanesha the truth. As we rolled dough balls, placing them on a rectangular metal tray, I broached the topic.
“You really want to know why I’m so tired all the time?”
“It depends if it involved you sleeping with a lot of men or women.”
“A lot of men or women, huh? I sleep with women exclusively.”
“That’s good to know.”
She smiled at me.
Is she flirting or am I just tired?
“I’m in trouble,” I said.
“Yeah, me too.”
“No, I mean real trouble. My mother owes a lot of money to a casino, and I’ve been selling weed out of the store to try to pay it off for her.”
She stopped rolling the dough ball in her hand and stared at me.
“You know it’s illegal to sell it on your own, right?”
“Yeah, of course I do,” I snapped. “But I have to pay off this debt for my mom.”
I watched her face closely to read her reaction to my disclosure.
“I owe people money too, but I’m not selling drugs to pay them.”
“Do you have a guy named Bullet coming to your house to remind you about payments?”
“No,” she said. “Can’t you go to the police?”
I shook my head. “They wouldn’t care and would just make the situation worse.”
“Why are you telling me all this?”
“I don’t know, I thought we were getting along well.”
“We were…” She stopped. “I mean we are, but…” Her voice trailed off.
“Just forget I said anything.”
“I can’t do that.” She began shaping the dough in her hands again. “I have a cousin who is addicted to gambling.”
“Probably not as bad as my mother,” I said.
“She might be. It’s gotten her into all sorts of trouble.”
“What’s their name?” I asked.
“Oh…Um…”
Someone knocked at the back door on the other side of the room before she said anything.
“I’ll get it,” I said, tossing the dough in my hand to the tray so it could proof and rise.
At the back door, I opened it without checking as I figured it was the rest of the lunch crew. Instead of the delivery drivers or other employees, I saw Bullet towering in front of me. I slammed the door shut, but it caught on his snakeskin boot.
“Let me in,” he said.
Fuck, I thought, stepping back.
“Who’s that?” Tanesha asked. “Should I call the police?”
Bullet turned his attention to her, lifting his hand ax in the air.
“Whoa,” I said, stepping in front of him. “Calm down, Bullet. She’s not calling the police. Right?”
“Um, yeah…” she said.
“Where’s my money for the drop last night?” Bullet asked.
“It’s at my apartment. My car broke down and I need to take it to the bank unless you want it all in quarters.”
He tilted his head while staring at me menacingly.
“The idiots paid in quarters. I’ll have your money later tonight. You need to get the fuck out of here before the other employees arrive. Don’t ruin this, you fucking imbecile.”
I stepped forward, right in his face, staring him down.
“Leave,” I said, pointing to the back door. “Now.”
After looking over at Tanesha then back to me, he howled with laughter. I watched as he slowly turned and walked out of the back of the shop. As soon as the door closed, I ran up and locked it.
“That’s why you don’t just open the back door,” I joked after turning around.
Tanesha had a pissed look on her face. I hadn’t known her long, but I could tell it wasn’t her usual chipper self.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Are you kidding me? What kind of trouble are you in, Tony?”
“It’s my problem. I’ll take care of it," I said.
She frowned. “That scary guy showed up here, where I work. It’s my problem now too. Should I be worried about my children at home? Does he know who I am?”
“No, no, no,” I said, reaching out and putting my hand on her arm.
I left it there for more than ten seconds. She didn’t brush it away.
“You’re fine,” I said, looking into her eyes. “I told you about this before he showed up. He’s never come here before, but I missed a payment last night because of my car.”
With her lips pressed together and her jaw pushed out, she fumed at me without saying a word.
“I’m trying to be honest with you because I like you,” I said. “Let’s just get to work. We can talk about it later after the lunch rush, okay?”
She nodded. “Fine.”
As we went back to work, finishing the dough and starting to shred the cheese, I thought about how I would get out from under my mother’s debt once and for all. It was the only way I could move forward with my own life.
If I wanted someone like Tanesha in my life, I had to clean up my act and stay on the straight and narrow. Maybe they’ll let me pay smaller amounts over a longer period of time, I thought as we worked side by side to prepare for the lunch crowd.
FIVE
Tanesha
Two weeks after I started working at Pizza Pizza, Tony trusted me enough to open the store on my own. We had been talking at work while he trained me. The situation with the crazy guy named Bullet seemed to be under control. While I didn’t agree with his choice to sell drugs, I understood he only wanted to help his mother with her gambling debts. My ex-husband Kendrick and other people tried to tell me I had a problem with gambling, but they were all crazy.
I unlocked the door to the shop and walked in, making sure to lock it behind me. As I got to work setting up the shop for lunch, I realized I was going to miss working with Tony in the mornings. He had to work at night to deliver his weed and run the store, so he had no reason to keep working in the mornings with me after I got trained. That was why I wa
s considering asking him over to my apartment to watch a movie and hang out.
After filling the Hobart mixer with all the ingredients, I turned it on and watched the dough slowly form. I kneaded thoughts of Tony in my mind at the same time. He had a sexy body and a cute smile, but with two children, I couldn’t just think about looks anymore. Destiny and Michael deserved a good father figure in their life. They still spent every other week with Kendrick, their father, but I didn’t want to parade a whole bunch of men through the house when they were with me.
The buzzer for the timer went off. I turned off the machine and opened the lid. Grabbing the huge dough ball, I lifted it and set it on the metal prep-table. I got even further lost in thought as I cut and rolled pieces for medium sized pizzas. A smile spread over my face as I remembered the first time Tony had taught me how to roll the dough tightly. I’m going to do it, I decided. He has tonight off, so I’ll have to call him.
My plan shaped up as I finished the dough and washed out the mixer to move onto grinding the cheese for the day. While I didn’t make a lot of money as an assistant manager, the extra money helped considerably – especially since I still spent so much at the casino and on scratch-off tickets. Kendrick paid his support every week, but it never seemed to be enough. What if Tony isn’t in to me? I thought. Am I jeopardizing my job? Is he worth it?
I heard a knock at the front door just before I began to grind the cheese. The drivers are early, I thought, walking to the front of the shop. Outside the door, wearing a long, knit scarf, Tony stood with his hand to his forehead as he peered in. I waved a hand and rushed to the front to let him in. Just before I arrived, he used his key.
“I just didn’t want to scare you,” he said.
I smiled. “Thanks. Has Bullet still been stalking you?”
“Yeah, but I told him not to show up here anymore.”
“That’s good.”
He nodded. “I’m not coming in tonight, so I just thought I’d stop in and check on you.”
“Aww, you’re so sweet.” I paused. “Unless you don’t think I have what it takes to open the store.”
“Haha, no, not at all. In fact, if I’m honest, I just kind of miss working with you in the mornings. You made the time go by so fast.”
“I was thinking that this morning too.”
Our eyes met. Neither of us looked away.
“I’m about to cut the cheese…” My eyes widened in horror as I realized what I’d just said.
He laughed. “I know what you mean. I’ll get out of your way.”
“Hey,” I said. “I was going to call you, but since you’re here, I was wondering…”
“Yeah?” he asked as I paused.
“Would you like to come over tonight and hangout, watch a movie or something?”
A smile spread over his face. “I’d like that. What time?”
“Maybe around seven or so?”
“That works for me. Just text me your address, and I’ll send you a text before I come.”
“Sweet,” I said. “See you later tonight, Tony.”
He waved, turned and left the store. I locked the door behind him and returned to the back to finish up with the prep work for lunch and dinner. Does he accept invites to hang out with any of his other employees? I wondered. Questions assaulted my mind all morning as I worked hard to keep the shop running smoothly. Samantha and some of the others hated me for some reason, but I didn’t care.
By the time my shift ended and I left to pick up the children from school, my mood had changed from doubts and fear to excitement. Tony, one of the hottest and coolest guys I’d ever met, was coming over to my apartment to hang out and watch a movie. I spent the majority of my time making sure Destiny and Michael had everything they needed, and it had been a while since I’d found myself attracted to anyone, let alone a hot Italian guy.
♥ ♥ ♥
Sitting on my couch, I read the text from him again. “I’ll be over in about five minutes.” He must live close, I thought. The children were at their father’s house for the week, so we had the entire apartment to ourselves. While I didn’t think I would jump his bones the first time we hung out, I wasn’t entirely sure I could control my hormones once he showed up. You got this, I told myself as I heard a knock at the door.
I stood and walked over. Before I opened the door, I pulled up my flannel pajama pants. I should have worn something else, I thought. This tee-shirt is too tight. He knocked again.
“Hold on,” I called.
After a deep breath, I put on a smile.
“Hey, Tanesha,” he said.
“Come in. I love that scarf of yours.”
“Thanks. My grandma made it for me. It’s my favorite.”
“Aww, that’s sweet.”
“Nice apartment,” he said, glancing around.
“Thanks. It’s small, but it does us for now.”
“Are the kids here?” he asked, taking off his coat.
“No, they’re with their father this week. We alternate back and forth.”
He nodded. I took his coat from him.
“You have any kids?”
“No, not yet.” He grinned. “I like them, but I haven’t ever found the right woman.”
“I see.” I smiled as he handed me his scarf.
“I’ll put these in the closet for you. Have a seat.”
After putting away his coat, I turned and saw him already sitting in middle of the couch.
“You want something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine. Thanks. I smoked a bit before I came over.”
“I see.”
“It’s legal. Well, the smoking it anyway.”
“I’ve never seen the point,” I said.
“Have you ever tried it?”
“Once, but I was so drunk I don’t really remember a lot of details.”
“I won’t hold it against you as long as you don’t try to say I can’t smoke.”
“As long as you’re not doing it around me or my kids, I don’t care.”
“Fair enough.” He patted the couch next to him. “Join me?”
He’s forward and direct. I like it.
I walked over to my brown cloth couch and sat down to the left of him.
“What are we watching?”
“I don’t know, I just wanted to hang out. I miss you in the mornings.”
“You do, huh?”
I nodded, tension building up in the air between us.
We looked at each other, neither of us breaking eye contact. As if pulled by gravity, we gradually moved our bodies forward. He put his hand on my arm just as our lips touched. The past two weeks flashed through my mind all at once, a cacophony of happiness, joy and sexual desire. I kissed him back, slipping my tongue into his mouth as I put my hand on his waist, feeling his hard, toned body through his button-down shirt.
I pulled away, breathing deeply.
“We should take it slow,” I said. “Because of work…”
Before I could finish my thought, he bent forward and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around him, holding tight as our mouths made love for the first time. He combined gentle and firm together in a way that made me wet between the legs. Not yet. It’s too soon, my brain said. Meanwhile, my heart and loins ached for him – his touch, his look, his kiss, his thrust. I wanted all of him.
I stopped hugging him and pushed on his chest. He looked into my eyes. His were hungry and full of lust.
“Let’s wait. Do this right,” I said. “I like you a lot.”
He stared at me for what seemed like an eternity. Did I fuck up? He could have anyone. Why am I pushing him away?
“It’s okay,” he said, a smile forming on his face. “I get the feeling you’re more than worth the wait.”
“We could watch a movie and cuddle, though. That sound okay?”
“That sounds incredible, Tanesha. The best night I’ve had in a long while.”
We watched Bringing Down the House with Queen Latifah and
Steve Martin. Both of us laughed until it hurt. When we weren’t rolling with laughter, I snuggled up against him, loving the feeling of safety and security in his arms. After the movie, I yawned and said I needed to go to bed to get up in the morning for work.
“Damn Pizza Pizza,” he joked.
“I’d blow it off if I didn’t need the money.”
“I hear you.”
At the door, I gave him another kiss – another few moments of bliss.
“Thanks for a great night, Tony.”
“You too. We’ll have to do this again sometime.”
I nodded. “For sure.”
He left. I locked up and got ready for bed, kicking myself for not inviting him to spend the night. Then again, I realized as I crawled into bed, I don’t want him to think I’m a slut. My dreams that night were filled of heroes rescuing me, the black princess. They were almost as enjoyable as the real thing.
SIX
Tanesha
The next morning at work went as well as usual. I couldn’t wait for Tony to come in. When he did just before my shift ended, I played it cool.
“Hey, Tony,” I said from the ovens.
“Hey, Tanesha.”
He smiled at me on the way to his office.
Once I’d turned over the reins to Tom, the assistant manager for the night shift, I walked back and leaned against the doorframe.
“Hey, boss.”
“Come in and shut the door,” he said.
I smiled and did as he said, not caring what the other employees thought.
“I had such a great time last night, but…”
Shit. What is this?
He paused and frowned.
“What?” I asked. “Am I fired?”
“No, no, it’s not that, but I think we should cool it down some so the others don’t get upset. I don’t want to risk your job.”
“But you’re the boss, right?”
“Well, yeah, but…”
“But what? You would be the one who fired me for fraternizing with you. And you wouldn’t do that, right?”
He sighed.
“Look, Tanesha. It’s not you. I just have so much going on right now.”
