Down in Flames (The Earthwalker Trilogy Book 3)

by Jennifer Siddoway

  She nodded and turned to Mrs. Murphy saying, “Mom, do you mind checking on the boys and making sure that everything is going okay out here? I don’t want Ryan getting cold feet and leaving me at the altar.”

  I smiled at the term of endearment she called her future mother-in-law, “mom”. It stuck a chord inside me that resonated as being right. Most of the time I didn’t even feel like I had a mother anymore. She’d been gone for so long before I left that I didn’t have that connection with her. Now she was back and I knew the truth of her betrayal, it came with all this baggage – she wasn’t the same person. She was here, but she wasn’t my mom.

  Mrs. Murphy kissed Charlene on the forehead and said, “Of course, dear. Don’t worry about Ryan, I’ll beat him if he doesn’t make you my daughter. You girls go change upstairs and I’ll take care of everything down here.”

  She started off towards the main house and we followed her, gathering back into the bridal quarters. After the bride had changed into her gown, Lacey and I slipped into our bridesmaid dresses. My hair was up in the same hairstyle the stylist had practiced on me before. It was simple and lovely, with tiny silk flowers woven in around the crown. I already knew it would take an entire canister of hairspray to make it stay like that, but I was willing to put up with anything for sake of their big day. Truthfully, I was grateful to have the weight and heat of it off my neck in the southern humidity. It wasn’t often that I felt feminine and pretty, those were qualities I did not aspire to. Today though, I felt radiant, even if I was wearing a pair of combat boots underneath the formal attire. I would have felt naked without them.

  The wedding photographer stopped by and took a few pictures of Charley getting ready. She was sitting at the vanity in a simple white cotton dress that left her shoulders exposed to reveal the watercolor tattoo. Her green eyes were wide and excited, twinkling in the midday sun as her hair curled down across her shoulders in gentle waves.

  The photographer captured the moment perfectly as she gazed in the mirror to put on her earrings before going to document the rest of the wedding party. Charlene laughed at me when she saw the combat boots and rolled her eyes indulgently. “Wynn, please don’t ever change.”

  “Are you ready for this?” I asked her quietly.

  She smiled, looking back at me and said, “Yes, I’ve been waiting my whole life to marry Ryan.”

  “He’s very lucky to have found you.”

  My hair was up in the same elaborate hairstyle the stylist had practiced on me before. The curls were pulled back into a Grecian style and wavy tendrils hung down on either side of my face. Truthfully, I was grateful to have the weight and heat of it off my neck in the southern humidity. It wasn’t often that I felt feminine and pretty – those were qualities I did not aspire to. Today though, I felt radiant, even if I was wearing a pair of combat boots underneath the formal attire. I wouldn’t have been me without them.

  Charlene laughed at me when she saw them and rolled her eyes indulgently, spritzing her wrist with a light perfume. As the aerosol released, the scent of gardenia flowers drifted through her dressing room, filling the air with its light aroma. The wedding planner poked her head around the corner and said, “Miss Maxwell, are you ready?”

  Charlene smiled and held the flowers to her chest. “Yes!”

  Looking down at her feet, I couldn’t help but feel confused. “You’re not wearing any shoes?”

  We both laughed as she stood up from the ottoman and smoothed out the front of her gown, grabbing the bouquet of white and yellow flowers off the table. “Nope!”

  Lacey and I each gave her a hug, kissing her on both cheeks before walking down the stairs. A gentle melody drifted through the grounds, across the crowded field and the smiling guests waiting for us outside. The flower girl went ahead of us, throwing white petals on the grass, and skipped over happily to her parents. Yellow rose petals were sprinkled down the path and the scent of orange blossoms filled the summer air.

  When it was my turn to walk down the aisle, I felt my heart beat fast and smoothed the hem of my dress before stepping out into the procession. I breathed out carefully through my nose and was caught off guard seeing Caleb waiting on the other side. I’d forgotten that we were paired to walk down the aisle together and he looked positively sinful in the suit and tie. I felt my cheeks flush staring at him.

  He smiled as we met in the doorway and offered me his arm, then together we started down the line. The string quartet played a song as we came towards the altar and my breath caught deep inside my chest. It felt like the whole world was staring at us and the music playing was reserved exclusively for this moment in time.

  I could see Nate and Dad sitting in the crowd together, smiling at the two of us and waving. They both looked sharp in their clean pressed suits. Nate had even gelled his hair back to make it behave. I nodded their direction and took a few steadying breaths as we continued down the path. For a moment, I was sad that Mom wasn’t there beside them, but it was a sacrifice she’d made so Ryan and Charlene could have their special day free from drama.

  When we made it to the end, Caleb released me and went to stand by Ryan. Lacey and her partner followed after, and then it was time for the bride. Everyone stood at the sound of Wagner’s Bridal Chorus and turned to watch as she emerged from the Murphy’s house.

  Ryan was all smiles and she gazed back at him. Her hands were shaking as she walked down the aisle towards him, holding back tears of joy – they only had eyes for each other.

  Charlene joined us at the chuppah and handed me the flowers, taking Ryan by the hands. The subtle tribute to his mother’s Jewish heritage was a concession they had made, to be married underneath a canopy. It was more emotional than I expected. Lacey was already crying and I choked back tears of joy right along with her. Caleb stood across from me, and I made the mistake of glancing at him. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but his eyes went soft and we gazed at each other silently while the couple exchanged their vows.

  “Charlene, you are the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. I love you so much and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re my best friend, and I promise to spend every day striving to be the kind of man who deserves you. I know I’ll make plenty of mistakes along the way, but I hope you forgive me and know that I’m never giving up on us. My heart, life, and soul belong to you.”

  Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as he slid the wedding band down her finger. She cleared her throat and smiled. “Ryan, an unbelievable set of circumstances brought us to this point. I thank my lucky stars every day that you continue coming back to me. I am by no means perfect, but you, my love, are everything in this world that I have ever wanted. I promise to love you every day until my dying breath and be the wife and woman that you’ve shown me I can be.”

  She slipped the wedding ring onto his finger and looked up at him with a smile. I could hear the blood rushing between my ears, as Caleb gazed across the podium at me, my stomach was full of butterflies. I was devastated knowing we had lost our chance to share a moment like this ourselves.

  A cheer went out across the crowd when they were eventually pronounced man and wife. Ryan dipped Charley and they kissed passionately on the mouth. I clapped along with everyone else, swallowing the lump rising in my throat and offered what I hoped looked like a happy smile. As they came back down the aisle I didn’t want to walk with Caleb; I couldn’t bear such a casual and solely ceremonial touch between us, but I didn’t want to draw attention away from Ryan and Charley, so as he offered me his arm, I took it while my heart silently broke within my chest.

  HJ

  Ryan looked dashing in his suit and he and Charley twirled across the dance floor. Her cheeks were flushed as she looked up at him with all the love in the world. The wedding pavilion was bright and bustling with life as the wedding guests danced around in circles. Nate was dancing with some girl he found, spinning her around in circles and having the time of his life, while Dad co
ngratulated Mr. and Mrs. Murphy on the beautiful ceremony. It was almost impossible to believe that the day had gone by without a hitch, but everything was perfect. Ryan and Charley were married and it was all according to plan.

  I smiled at the sight of them being so in love and happy and took a seat on one of the stools at the bar. “What’ll ya have?” the bartender asked me cordially.

  “Uh, some water please. I don’t drink.”

  He nodded and went to fill my request when Caleb came sauntering by. It was the moment that I’d been dreading, forced to face him with all my feelings bottled up inside. He’d gotten a haircut for the occasion and it was parted neatly on the side. As he grew closer, the subtle scent of aftershave became apparent. His shirt was pressed and clean and he looked positively sinful, with the tie undone around his neck. I admired his shoulders, thinking to myself, Why doesn’t he wear a suit more often?

  I didn’t look at him out of embarrassment and not knowing what to say, but my coyness was all for naught when he came up right beside me. “Hey.”

  “So, are you going to be totally awkward around me now?”

  My heart fluttered at being so near him, and I chuckled nervously to myself. “Oh yeah! I hope that is okay. I plan on making this as uncomfortable as possible for both of us.”

  Caleb grinned at my cheeky response and leaned forward against the counter. “That makes perfect sense.”

  With everyone else swept away in the festivities, it was just the two of us again. Ryan and Charley were so far involved with each other I didn’t plan on being able to speak with them for the rest of the night. Lacey and Nate were both on the prowl, scoping out the singles who were unattached and trying to make a move; they wouldn’t be any help to me. Dad was on another plane entirely, nursing a glass of champagne and laughing with the adults.

  I couldn’t see myself as an adult, even though I was almost twenty-one – that line of thinking did not occur to me, but I didn’t want to be a child either. It was a weird conundrum. That’s how I found myself sitting at the bar with my ex-boyfriend. Neither of us spoke for a while. I just focused on the counter and refused to look at him, but through the corner of my eyes I could see him staring at me.

  After a moment or two it was making me self-conscious, so I asked him, “What?”

  “Do you want to dance?” he inquired pleasantly.

  My jaw fell open at the invitation. I wasn’t sure if he was just being polite or trying to extend an olive branch, but either way my heart beat faster. The bartender came back with a cup of ice water and set it on the bar in front of me as I looked up at Caleb in shock. “Really?”

  I picked up the glass of water and downed it in one shot, them set it back on the counter with a clink. “Sure, why not?”

  He smiled slightly as I placed my hand in his and followed him to the dance floor. My stomach started doing backflips the second he touched me; I had to remind myself to breathe. Lacey saw us step onto the wooden floor and smiled at me over her partner’s shoulder. The encouragement only made me more nervous, knowing that we were being watched.

  My heart pounded wildly in my chest and I was painfully aware of his hands on my body. I wanted him to touch me, I couldn’t get enough of him. It would never be enough. My breath hitched as he pulled me closer and put his hand against my waist.

  I felt my cheeks flush and I looked up at him nervously, biting my bottom lip. The world around us melted away as we moved together slowly, looking into each other’s eyes. As if he knew what I was thinking, I saw his own eyes dilate while we spun around across the floor. I felt my stomach flutter at the possibility that he was having second thoughts and wanted to be with me as well.

  Well, I knew he was glad that I was safe, but wanting a relationship was another matter entirely.

  “What are you thinking?” I asked him quietly

  Caleb sighed, looking down at me through hooded lashes. “I was thinking you’re as beautiful as the day you left.”

  A furious blush flared up on my cheeks and I couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. “Thank you. Where’s Christine? I’m assuming she’s your plus one.”

  He looked away at my question and seemed embarrassed. His aura shifted when he responded carefully. “Actually, she broke up with me.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I told him quietly, even though I was cheering inside my head.

  Caleb gave me a crooked smile and said, “No, you’re not.”

  His grin warmed me from the inside out and I couldn’t help but smile back at him in agreement. “No, I’m not.”

  He took my hand and twirled me all across the dance floor, our feet in perfect rhythm with each other. They led me in a smooth array of syncopation and harmonized with the beat. Our eyes were locked as the tempo changed and he pulled me close against his body.

  I had to clear my throat and look away before asking. “W-what happened?”

  Caleb sighed, his hands grazing seductively against my hips. “She said I have ‘unresolved issues with my ex’. It wasn’t bad, she just bowed out gracefully. She wants me to be happy.”

  I almost laughed, but the tone of his voice warned me that it was not a joke and we both knew it. My eyes were distracted by the hypnotic way his lips moved when he spoke and I had to swallow hard before responding. “Well, um, she seemed nice.”

  “She is,” he agreed somberly.

  My heart was on my chest when I blurted out suddenly, “I know, you wouldn’t’ have been with someone unless they were deserving.”

  His gaze softened at the declaration and he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

  “I am sorry though,” I offered feebly. “I know you were getting serious, and no matter what my feelings were, I still wanted you to be happy.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  My eyebrows puckered in confusion and I looked away from him in shame. “Because I found the ring in your sock drawer – you were going to propose. I wasn’t looking for it, the whole thing just kind of happened.”

  “When were you looking in my sock drawer?”

  I sighed, glancing away, embarrassed. “You told me to get pajamas, I didn’t know where they were kept, so I started looking. Anyway, I know and … I’m sorry.”

  Caleb laughed, the rich baritone sound that set my heart aflame and smiled down at me. “You thought I was going to propose to Christine?” he asked me mystified.

  “Well, yes.”

  He cleared his throat as the music stopped and brought our dancing to a halt. “That ring wasn’t for her,” he stated calmly.

  It took a moment for the realization to sink in and when it did, I flushed. “Oh…”

  “Oh,” he teased me gently. “Now you know.”

  My heart rate quickened and I relished the feel of his hands against my skin, holding back a shiver as the tips of his fingers traced their way down my arms and back up again. A song started up again and we stood there with our hands and arms around each other. I wasn’t even aware of anything on the dance floor except the sound of his heart beating as we moved slowly into another waltz. There was an awkward silence, neither of us knowing what to say as his hands repositioned in a slow caress against my back. I didn’t know how many songs had passed, but we kept dancing slowly in a circle. There was so much I wanted to say, that both of us needed to say, but the words would not come.

  “You know, I never did any of this to hurt you,” I told him quietly. “I didn't know what else to do. I hope one day you'll forgive me.”

  “I DO forgive you - I forgave you the minute you disappeared, Wynn. I would have never asked you to sacrifice your family over me; the mere thought of it is ridiculous, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. That doesn't mean it didn't suck and keep me up at nights worrying about what was happening to you. I tried to find a way to break you out more times than I could count. I would have waited for you forever if Eric hadn’t stopped me.”

  “Eric?”

  “Yeah, he told me I had to find closure.�
��

  I thought about Kevin and what losing Elyse had done to him and another wave of guilt crashed over me as I pictured Caleb in that dark apartment with the siren waiting in the corner. What he could have become if he hadn’t found Christine. Suddenly, I felt nothing but gratitude for that sweet girl, for saving him when I couldn’t.

  “What do you want me to say? Apologizing just doesn’t seem like enough.”

  There was an awkward silence as I swallowed hard to look away from him, embarrassed. My face was red as a tomato and it felt like my heart was beating so fast I might self-combust. Every muscle, every nerve, and follicle of hair on my body was completely engaged in the moment we were sharing. I never gave much credence to what other people had to say, or cared what other people thought, but I was scared to death right now. I didn’t want to be, but his opinion mattered. I never felt more vulnerable or exposed in all my life, knowing that he could see right through me.

  “Caleb, I know I don't deserve to say this, but I’m still in love with you.”

  My pride wanted to cringe as soon as the words left my mouth, but I knew that they were true. I never stopped loving him, and I never would. He needed to hear that, to know that, even if he rejected me again.

  Caleb stopped dancing and stared at me with an indescribable expression before taking me by the hand and leading me from the dance floor. I followed him away from the party tent to a wooden bench on the side of the house.

  Before I realized what was happening, Caleb wrapped his hands around me and was kissing me passionately on the mouth. His lips crushed down on mine, fierce and devoted, as I moaned and sild my arms around his waist. His tongue edged its way into my mouth, exploring, tasting, bringing me to the edge of something that was rapidly stealing thought and rationality from my mind.

  His touch unraveled any grasp of self-restraint I was holding onto, and it quickly escalated to a deeper, more frantic need to have his body pressed against me. My whole body trembled from his touch, every nerve alight with expectation. When he pulled away Caleb’s eyes were dark with longing as I gazed up at him. I chuckled softly and placed my hand against his cheek as he leaned forward to kiss me once again.