Kiss and Tell

by Leo McNeir

  In her haste she had overlooked an important detail. “Oh, that’s it, the MG.”

  “Christ, woman! Where’s your other car?”

  “I haven’t got another one.”

  Simon was panting. “That isn’t a car, Marnie.”

  “It’s a classic!”

  “It’s a fashion accessory. Take the keys from my pocket. Get him in the Merc.”

  She reached for Simon’s side pocket. “And that isn’t a fashion statement?”

  “Marnie, the man may be dying.”

  “Let’s go,” she said.” We can have the argument later. It’ll be like old times.”

  Simon laid Anthony on the back seat, and Marnie climbed in with him, cradling his head in her lap. The silver car turned in a spray of gravel and raced up the track, leaving Ralph standing in the yard beside his aged Volvo, watching their trail of dust. Anne and Ronny came round the corner as the Mercedes was passing out of view up the field.

  “Wow!” said Ronny. “Look at that thing move.”

  *

  Simon walked back to where Marnie was sitting, carrying two plastic cups. In the waiting area people were sitting in quiet groups, numbed either by pain or the boredom of waiting.

  “I was beginning to wonder where you’d got to.” She looked at the dark liquid and tried it tentatively.

  “I had to move the car from the ambulance space. Car park’s miles away. They asked me to book him in, wanted his details. What’s it like?”

  “Hot and wet. His details?” She spoke in little more than a whisper. “Oh great, now we’ll have the paparazzi round our necks.”

  “No we won’t.”

  “What did you tell them?”

  “I said he was a visitor on a canal boat. I didn’t know his address.”

  “What about his name?”

  “I said I thought it was Simon Alexander, but I wasn’t sure.”

  Marnie stared at him. “But those are your first names.”

  “So I recall. They were the first names that came into my head. I figured there’d be more fuss if I had no name for him. At least that way they could fill in the boxes on their form. Otherwise they might’ve involved the police, trying to trace who he is.”

  “With an attempted suicide they’re bound to do that anyway.”

  “Who said anything about attempted suicide? He smells of alcohol. I said I thought he’d had too much to drink while on medication. It was an accident.”

  “Did they swallow that?” Marnie almost laughed. She put it down to stress. “Sorry. You know what I mean.”

  “They were more interested in saving him. They didn’t want his life story.”

  “Where is he now?”

  “They took him through for treatment.“ Simon shrugged. “They’ll pump him out, I suppose.”

  Marnie grimaced, thinking of the pump-out machines that suck out the sewage tanks on boats. “Well, I must say they were impressive.”

  The staff had rushed Anthony into the A and E Unit on a trolley within seconds of arrival.

  “That’s down to you, Marnie, phoning ahead on the mobile. If he does survive, he’ll owe his life to you.”

  “The question is, will he thank me for it? What he did was his way out of hell. And we’ve brought him back.”

  Simon sipped his drink. “Was this where you came when you were … you know?“

  “When I was murdered? I suppose so. At the time I didn’t know what was happening. When I eventually came round I was on my way out of intensive care.”

  Simon touched her hand. “I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories.”

  “That’s all right. We’ve got new worries to get on with this year.” She smiled grimly. “Aren’t we the lucky ones?”

  “Seriously, Marnie. I really was concerned about you.”

  To Marnie the situation seemed bizarre. Here she was sitting with Simon, together again after years apart. He looked no different from when she had last seen him, and they were handling a problem together like any married couple, as they had done so often. It was as if the intervening few years had not happened … the move from London … Ralph … Anne … Sally Ann … Glebe Farm … Ralph. Ralph. They had left him behind as if he was irrelevant.

  “Simon, I must phone Ralph, let him know what’s happening. Have you got your mobile?”

  He reached for his back pocket and sat back. “It’s in the car. Other end of the site.”

  “Damn. I don’t suppose you’ve got any change?”

  “I used it for the parking ticket.” He looked at the dubious liquid in his cup. “And the drinks machine.”

  *

  Ralph walked slowly back to the boats. Something had flashed into his mind when he first found Anthony on the floor, and he was determined to remember what it was. With hindsight he knew Marnie should have taken the empty tablet bottles to hospital so that the medics could identify the drugs. Marnie and Simon.

  Everything had happened too fast. He had been trying to be methodical, while they had seen straight away what had to be done and had taken decisive action. They had worked like a team, while he had plodded along doing the Right Thing, ringing the emergency services, reporting the incident. He could have kicked himself for not checking Anthony’s pulse. It made him feel a fool. They must have had the same thought.

  He stepped down into Anthony’s boat and went through to the saloon. All three bottles lay there, and the smell of alcohol was still in the air, though fainter now. He wondered what he should do next. Perhaps the police would want to test the medicine bottles for fingerprints. All this was worlds away from his experience. He hesitated. Best to leave things as they were and let the experts do what was necessary.

  Anthony must have heard about Melissa on the news and decided there was only one way out. Or perhaps he had decided that anyway. If the doctors saved his life, he may have a grim awakening ahead of him. One tragedy heaped on another.

  Ralph squatted down and examined the bottles at close range. The whisky was Glenmorangie, one of the finest single malts. Anthony never stinted himself. Even in suicide, only the best was good enough. While this thought was going through his mind, Ralph remembered what it was that had struck him when he first found Anthony on the cabin floor. He had shared some of the Glenmorangie with Anthony one evening. He was convinced that the bottle was half full when he last saw it. Still squatting, on a whim he opened the cupboard where he knew the drinks were kept. There at the back stood a fresh bottle of the same Scotch, unopened.

  He was pondering this when the boat rocked gently. Someone had quietly approached and stepped on board. Ralph waited and listened. Footsteps on the treads down into the cabin.

  “Hallo?” It was a familiar voice.

  “I’m in the saloon, Anne. Come towards the cratch.”

  She stopped in the galley and looked down at Ralph. “I thought I’d come and see … Well, I’m not sure what, actually. I just came.”

  Ralph stood up. He knew why she had come. “Did you think I was feeling abandoned?”

  “Of course not.” She sounded almost convincing. “Is that where he was?” She stepped forward.

  “Down here in the corner. I didn’t see him at first. He was behind the bench.”

  Anne was staring at the bottles when Marnie’s mobile suddenly rang on the workbench and she picked it up. “Walker and Co. Good afternoon.” It seemed incongruously normal in the place where a man had just tried to kill himself.

  “This is Northampton General Hospital, Accident and Emergency. I need to speak to Professor Ralph Lombard. It’s very urgent.”

  “He’s here. Hold on, please.”

  She passed the phone to Ralph, who bent down and picked up the bottles as he spoke. He read out the names on each one, with other details. The call seemed to end abruptly.

  “That was quick,” said Ralph. “He didn’t even give me a chance to ask how Anthony is.”

  “At least we know he’s still alive,” said Anne. “Otherwise it would
n’t be urgent.”

  “The doctor said they needed to know what was in the tablets so that they could deal with them.”

  Anne took one of the bottles. “What are they for?”

  “No idea. Never heard of them. The question is, were they enough to kill a man?”

  *

  Marnie and Simon walked out through the automatic doors of the reception area and into the forecourt reserved for emergency ambulances. They had taken only a few steps when they became aware of an argument taking place with raised voices and much gesticulating between a uniformed security guard and a young man. They were standing beside a car in which two dogs were barking noisily, adding to the general commotion.

  “I know, I know,” the young man was saying. “But what else was I to do? Give me a break! For all I knew he might’ve been goin’ to snuff it.”

  The guard waved a finger under the man’s nose. “First, you are not allowed to park here in any circumstances. This is strictly for ambulances only. Can’t you read?”

  “But my car was being used as an –”

  “And second, you do not leave dogs in a car unattended at any time.”

  “I had other things on –”

  “Especially without leaving a window open.”

  The young man, who sported Elvis Presley sideburns, raised his eyes to heaven. “Give me strength! Look –”

  With enough problems of their own to occupy them, Marnie was more than happy to leave the men to their quarrel and she walked ahead of Simon round the men, glancing briefly at the dogs as they passed. When she stopped suddenly, it was all Simon could do to avoid running into her back. Marnie half turned, staring at the dogs, two black labradors. They each wore a collar, one red, one blue.

  Ignoring the arm movements, she stepped between the protagonists and spoke to Elvis. “They’re not your dogs?”

  “No,” he retorted. “Look lady, just let us sort it out, right? It’s bad enough with him –”

  Marnie interrupted. “Do you know whose they are?”

  “Please. Just leave it. Okay?”

  “Do they belong to Frank Day?”

  “I don’t know who they –” He stared. “Wait a minute. You know these dogs?”

  The security guard chimed in. “How do you know them, madam?”

  “By their collars.”

  She stooped forward and put her face near the car’s side window. The dogs at once pushed closer, still barking, still agitated.

  “Leave it out, love,” said Elvis. “You’ll make things worse doing that.”

  Marnie straightened up. “Bruno,” she said. “It’s on the disc. You’ll find the other one – with the red collar – is called Cassius. They belong to a man called Frank Day. What are they doing here in your car?”

  He ignored the question. “If you can identify the owner, you’d better come with me.”

  “Identify? Why, what’s –”

  By now Elvis was already heading towards the entrance, looking over his shoulder for Marnie to follow. She set off at a rapid pace. Reaching the doors, she turned and called out.

  “Simon, I’ll be as quick as I can. See if you can calm the dogs down.” She disappeared back inside the hospital.

  Simon and the security guard looked at each other as the dogs leapt about in the car.

  *

  The nurse on reception in the A and E Unit looked quizzically at Marnie on seeing her return so soon after leaving. “Forget something?” she said.

  “A man has been admitted,” Marnie said, pulling Elvis forward to explain.

  “I brought him in an hour ago,” he said. “This lady thinks she can identify him.”

  “I think you’d better take her through. You know where to go.” She nodded towards a bay. It was different from the area to which they had taken Anthony.

  Rounding the corner, Marnie’s way was blocked by a police constable in uniform.

  “It’s me,” said Elvis. “I’ve met this lady who thinks she knows him.”

  The policeman looked at Marnie. “And you are?”

  The answer was Marnie Walker, but it was not Marnie who gave the reply. She spun round on hearing a male voice behind her and found herself facing Detective Sergeant Marriner.

  “May I ask what brings you here, Mrs Walker?”

  “I was just visiting someone when I met this man outside. He’s got Frank Day’s dogs in his car. I recognised them.”

  Marnie was being truthful, but she felt that what she was saying sounded highly improbable. Marriner looked as if he was in agreement on that score. “So you can identify him,” he said quietly.

  “What’s happened to him?”

  “He’s been attacked and he’s unconscious. Would you wait here a moment, please. I’ll see if you can look in.”

  Marnie turned to Elvis. “Where did this happen? How did you manage to bring the dogs?”

  “It was over by Hanford. I stopped in a lay-by, went behind a tree for a Jimmy ... er, anyway, I saw these dogs charging about down near the canal. I thought I saw something on the towpath, went and had a look. It was a man. He was out cold, looked as if he’d had a nasty fall, so I carried him to my car to get him here. It was the only thing to do.”

  “And the dogs?”

  He shrugged. “They jumped in with him. Now that bloke’s giving me grief because I forgot to open a window. I mean –”

  Marriner reappeared and gestured to Marnie to go with him. Elvis stayed behind. Marnie was led through curtains pulled round a cubicle. She looked down at a man who lay silently, tubes connected to his nose, a drip attached to the back of one hand that rested on the bed cover. His face was grey, except for the bruising and grazes on his cheek. A bandage was wrapped round his head like a turban, and his mouth was slightly open.

  “Do you know him?”

  “It’s Frank, Frank Day.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Of course. So do you, Mr Marriner. Don’t you remember? He was injured in the church last year, the day I was ...”

  “I didn’t think his own grandmother would recognise him in that state. Do you know where he lives, if he has a wife or family, details like that?”

  “Sure. Anything you want. His wife’s name is Janet. They live in Yore. I know their phone number.”

  Marriner keyed it into his mobile. At the sound of voices, Frank stirred and Marnie put her hand on his arm. He made a sound as if trying to clear his throat and blinked, struggling to open his eyes.

  “Frank, it’s me, Marnie, Marnie Walker. Can you hear me?”

  He croaked faintly, “Mar–”

  “Lie still, Frank. You’re okay.”

  “I ... I ...” His voice was distant, breathless.

  Marnie patted his arm. “Just take it easy.” To the nurse, she said, “Can I sit with him for a minute?”

  “Yes, it might settle him. But don’t try to get him talking, okay?” She went out through a gap in the curtains.

  Marnie sat in the only chair, holding Frank’s free hand. It was grazed and dark with bruising. Marriner went outside pressing buttons on his mobile and was back within a few minutes, nodding to Marnie, whispering that Janet was on her way. Frank’s eyes were focusing now, and he looked from Marnie to Sergeant Marriner and back to Marnie, opening his mouth.

  “Shh, don’t speak,” said Marnie gently. “Time for that later. Janet will be here soon. Don’t worry.”

  The curtains swirled, and the nurse returned with another young woman in a white coat who introduced herself as the registrar.

  “I’ll need some time with him now,” she said to Marnie.

  “Sure.” Marnie squeezed Frank’s hand and stood up. She leaned forward to kiss him lightly on his undamaged cheek and was surprised that he pulled her down towards him. She thought he wanted to kiss her in return and turned her own cheek towards his face, but instead he spoke softly into her ear. She listened carefully before straightening up.

  Marriner caught her puzzled expression, and they l
eft the bedside together. Outside in the corridor he said, “What was that about?”

  Marnie frowned. “I’m not sure. I thought he said ... perfume.”

  “Perfume?” Marriner leaned towards Marnie and sniffed. “I hadn’t noticed it before,” he muttered.

  “You’re not meant to.” She smiled. “That’s why it costs so much. It’s meant to be subtle.”

  The nurse came through the curtains and as she was turning, Marnie said to her, “When you talk to Frank, would you please tell him his dogs are okay. He’ll be worried about them.”

  “Will do.” The nurse set off on her mission.

  “Do you need me any more, Mr Marriner?” Marnie asked.

  “No thanks. You’ve been very helpful, good job you were here.” He smiled.

  “I’ll be off, then.”

  “Why were you here, as a matter of interest?”

  She waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, just someone on a boat had an accident, nothing serious. Bye now.”

  In the ambulance bay outside, Marnie was dismayed to find that Elvis had gone. There was no car, no dogs and no Simon. She was making a three-sixty degree sweep of the area when a voice called her name. Simon and the security guard were standing a short distance away. Beside them in the shade of a tree the labradors were lapping water from dishes made of tin foil. Simon explained that the dishes had previously contained egg custard tarts that had been gratefully devoured by two hungry dogs.

  “Were you able to help, then?” said the guard.

  “Yes, I was.”

  Marnie looked at the labradors. Soon Janet would be arriving, which would take care of the dogs, but lead to more enquiries about her presence at the hospital. The longer she stayed, the greater the chance of further police questioning.

  The guard followed her gaze. “Fine dogs, those,” he said.

  “You like dogs?” Marnie asked innocently.

  “Love ’em. Always had dogs. We’ve got a Jack Russell at home. You won’t find a more intelligent dog than a Jack Russell. Did you know –”

  Marnie suddenly put a hand to her mouth with a gasp. “Oh my goodness, the parking ticket! We’ll be clamped.”