Consent to Love

by Abby Wood

  She’d grown up small-town and subsisted purely on what she scraped together. Without higher education and deep-seated faith in herself, she doubted more would come to her life than being top cook at Chum’s.

  Ana grinned. Unless some rich dude stole her heart the way Will had with Daphne. Her lucky friend had ended up in high society, rubbing elbows with land barons and sipping champagne while attending cattle sales in the VIP box. Daphne traveled the world with Will by her side, helped run the ranch, and had a bank account with more money in it than Ana could ever dream of having. There was no more serving beer for that girl. I’d have a better chance at winning the lottery than waiting for a rich man to move into the area.

  Ana chewed the inside of her lip. Kane had an unrealistic view of her world. He didn’t see what her life was like, and how impossible it seemed at times to make any steps forward. In many ways, Podunk was the hamster wheel she kept circling on, but going nowhere, except round and round.

  Ana pulled her old clunker into the driveway, parked and walked up to the door. She raised her hand, knocked and pursed her lips while gazing at the sketch. Please let her like it.

  The door swung open. “Ana, I’m so glad you made it. I wanted to thank you for your part in helping construct the new barn.”

  Sarah’s face lit up and made the Lakota woman breathtaking. All the sun wrinkles, graying hair and weathered skin disappeared behind pure happiness. Ana’s throat closed. In Sarah’s face she now recognized Kane.

  “I didn’t do much. I only served drinks to the men. The secret wasn’t hard to keep, because I knew how surprised you’d be when you came back and found a brand new barn.” She hugged Sarah, hiding the pain of seeing Sarah’s resemblance to Kane. “Now you don’t have to worry about your chickens.”

  “Yes. It’ll be perfect while Darrell and I save money to build another barn. Everyone has been so good to us. Even the feed store is donating more hay to keep us through winter.” Sarah pulled her into the house. “Are you ready to get started? We have much to do to make up for my being gone last week. It seems like I have been gone a year.”

  Ana laughed. “It must have been quite the vacation.”

  “Oh yes.” Sarah smiled. “My cousin had a nice healthy boy.”

  “That’s wonderful. What did they name him?” Ana set the picture on the table and waited.

  “Napayshni.” Sarah handed her an apron.

  “Naype—”

  Sarah giggled. “No. Nay-PAY-shnee.”

  “Napayshni…that’s a beautiful—” She swallowed, remembering Kane’s language lesson and the results of their first conversation. “What does it mean?”

  “Courageous and strong. He comes from a long line of big, honorable men.” Sarah lifted her chin. “And the women aren’t too bad either.”

  Hiding her trembling hands behind her back, she fought with the strings of her apron. “I brought you the sketch I made. If you’d like any changes, I can work on them before starting the painting.”

  “Oh, you did? Let’s see it.” Sarah moved over to the table and gasped. “Ana…this is—”

  “It’s okay. I can start over if you don’t like the pose. Make it more natural. I know it’s rather unconventional the way I have you both separated toward the edges and at first glance you have to focus on the subjects, but I was trying to capture the way I’ve caught you and Darrell gazing at each other when you think no one is paying attention.” She sat down at the table. “See, once you notice the direction of the eyes, the whole picture comes into focus. But if you want a more—”

  “No. Don’t you dare change a thing. This is… Oh, look at my Darrell.” She held the paper closer. “It’s like seeing how much he loves me without him telling me.”

  “Really?”

  Sarah sniffed and dabbed her eyes. “You’re making me cry.”

  “I’m sorry—”

  “Don’t be. I’ve never seen something as beautiful. Even this paper drawing is worth more than my silly cooking lessons. I feel like I need to give you something else. I can’t believe you are going to make this into a painting.” Sarah set it back down and continued to study the picture. “Thank you, Ana. From the bottom of my heart, I will treasure your gift forever. I can’t wait until Darrell can see it. He’s going to be shocked.”

  “You really like it?” Ana sagged in the chair. “I was afraid I wouldn’t do you justice.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Sarah motioned her over to the stove. “You should think about selling paintings for a living. The Lakota women send their art pieces to the bigger cities and do very well. I bet you would do well for yourself. I’ve never seen anyone with the ability to draw such emotion.”

  “I couldn’t.” Ana shook her head. “I’m just a—”

  “Sarah!”

  Ana turned toward the familiar voice and froze. Her heart pounded. Kane had never come over to his sister’s house during any of her past cooking lessons. Why would he show up now? She swayed and grabbed on to the top of the table.

  Kane strode into the kitchen, not giving Ana a second glance but heading straight toward his sister. “I’m heading back.”

  Sarah turned Kane around and pointed at Ana. “Howahkan, you are rude. If you took a moment to pay attention, you would see I have company.” She sighed. “Ana, I don’t think you’ve met my younger brother, Kane.”

  His eyes were dark as the sky before a tornado. His windblown hair lay around his shoulders as if he’d worked hard all day, but it was the set of his mouth that sent her creeping back against the wall. Stern and thinned into an angry line, his lips refused to say a word. He was angry.

  “Howahkan. What is wrong with you?” Sarah marched around him and stood by Ana. “You act as if you’re on the warpath. You’re scaring my friend.”

  Kane glanced away from Ana back to Sarah. “I’m sorry, cuwe. I did not mean to disrespect your home.” He stepped forward and nodded his head once, slow and deliberate. He turned to Ana. His gaze zeroed in on her mouth. “Hello, Ana.”

  “Hello…Kane.” Her vision clouded and she blinked hard.

  She wanted to ask him how he’d been, find out what caused the bags under his eyes and the extra lines on his forehead. She licked her lips and broke his stare. It wasn’t any of her business. It never had been.

  He’d put a stop to anything more developing between them because she didn’t belong on the reservation, and he refused to mingle off the Lakota land. Their problems were a simple hurdle in her opinion, and an impossible feat in his mind.

  “Kane.” Sarah picked up Ana’s drawing again. “You have to see this. Ana is going to paint our portrait. I thought I’d give it to—”

  “Excuse me.” Ana hurried to the front door and slipped outside.

  Not wanting to cause a scene and upset anyone, she went to the side of the house and leaned against the wood siding. The trembling started in her legs and worked its way up. She closed her eyes. Having him close but unavailable hurt her worse than she imagined. They’d had two nights. That was it. She shouldn’t feel this way about him.

  “Ana?”

  She flinched and opened her eyes. “I’ll wait out here until you are done talking with your sister, Kane. I’m sorry…I didn’t know you were going to be here, or I would have cancelled my lesson.”

  He looked as if she’d slapped him. “I would never want you to stop reaching for your goals because you were afraid of seeing me.”

  “You made it perfectly clear you didn’t want to see me again.” She lifted her chin. “I may be naive, Kane, but I’m not stupid. I know when a man’s tired of me. Like you said, we had sex…that’s all.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” His voice was low and dangerous.

  “Never mind…I’ll go home. Tell Sarah I’ll see her next Thursday and I’m sorry. You ca
n tell her I’m not feeling well.”

  She’d gone two feet before Kane grabbed her arm, swung her around and captured her face in his hands. “Ana…” He kissed her gently, slowly building the pressure.

  Her mouth relaxed, parted, and she sighed against his lips. What she couldn’t say in words, she spoke with touches. She dug her fingers into the hard contours of his chest. She stared into his face, seeing the passion harden his facial features and darken his eyes even more. Howahkan…

  He broke away and ran his hands through his hair, sweeping the mane behind his shoulders. “You want me.”

  She took it for a declaration, not an egotistical trip he was on to hurt her. She nodded. He had to understand.

  “It wasn’t me who wanted to leave. I never stopped wanting you. You touch me and I can barely breathe. I feel like I haven’t slept in the past two weeks because I’m wondering what you’re doing, how your day went. My body remembers how it felt having you inside me…” She stiffened. “And you’re a liar if you tell me I can’t settle for a relationship with you. I hate how you’ve set these invisible boundaries up that only you know about. You act like I’m too good for you, and then confuse me even more when you kiss me.” She gasped on a sob, covered her mouth and ran to her car.

  Chapter Eight

  Ana hated working on Saturday night. It meant she had to stay until closing, and because she was a big scaredy-cat, she always waited around for Chum to walk with her around the block to where she parked her car. The other two women who also worked at Chum’s didn’t have the same fears and left a half-hour ago.

  Chum shut the lights off and held the door open for her. She patted his arm on the way outside. “Thanks, Chum.”

  “It’s no problem. You’re a smart kid. I wish my daughters had the same common sense you do.” He whistled as he walked.

  He might be gruff on the outside, but deep down Chum was a thoughtful man, dedicated husband and a loving father. She inhaled deeply and let the fresh air fill her polluted lungs. An eight-hour shift inside a smoke-filled bar had her appreciating the clean night air.

  “Looks like you’ve got company waiting for you.” Chum stopped on the sidewalk. “Do you know him?”

  She squinted and peered into the darkness. The tall form of Kane leaned against the fender of her car. Even without viewing his face, there was no way to hide his tall, hard body.

  “It’s okay. I know him.” She peered up at Chum. “I’ll see you Tuesday, same time, same place.”

  He nodded. “Go ahead and go to your car. If things are okay, give me a little wave and I’ll go on home myself.”

  She framed a reply but changed her mind. There was no reason to keep Chum tied up any longer. Kane had no reason to seek her out, but he’d never hurt her or put her in danger.

  Breathlessly, she approached Kane. Her heart stopped dead the closer she came. Kane.

  He appeared older, tired and haggard. His gaze went from Chum in the distance to her, absorbing every little detail. Up and down, he stroked her body as if holding an artist’s brush.

  “Busy?” he asked quietly.

  She shook her head, glanced over her shoulder and waved to Chum. “I-I just got off work. That’s Chum. He walked me out.” Shuttup. He doesn’t need to know your life story. He chose to step away from you. It’s none of his business.

  “I’ve missed you.”

  Those three little words started her heart pumping again. She wanted to believe he meant he missed her on a deeper level, but he’d made it perfectly clear he was only after sex. She stood up straighter. Her time with him might have been the best three days and nights of her life, but she wasn’t a rock. She had feelings, a heart, and his refusal to explore what they had together hurt her more than she thought possible.

  “It doesn’t seem like the horses give me any joy anymore. Even living in Lakota seems different, paler now.” He scuffed the heel of his boot on the gravel. “I can’t seem to get you out of my head, Ana.”

  “It was your decision not to see me again, Kane. Remember all your talk about having a weekend of sex?” She tossed her purse in the car and left the door open. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Do you want me to feel sorry for you, and give you a pity fuck? Do you want to get me out of your system, so you can go home and be able to sleep at night? That’s not going to happen, because I can’t close off my emotions the way you can. You have no idea what I’m going through.”

  “Fair enough.” He scowled, and she saw something unrecognizable. “I hurt you.”

  “Yes,” she sighed. The confession came out airy and faint, but she’d said it aloud, there was no taking it back. “K-Kane. I don’t know what you want from me. Why did you come here tonight? What do you want me to say?”

  He reached out and caught her clammy fingers in his. “This.”

  * * *

  He hadn’t meant to touch her until he could explain why he’d come first, but he couldn’t stop. He drew Ana to him. She didn’t fight him, and when he kissed her, all the stiffness fled her body. She tasted sweet, willing and better than any gift he’d ever received.

  “I’m sorry.” He held her to him, and didn’t miss the fact that they were both shaking. “I have a habit of jumping to conclusions and thinking the worst will happen, and wanting to protect myself. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

  “What happened to make you so leery?” She cupped his face, not letting him look away.

  “It’s in the past, better buried.” He swallowed. “The important thing is what is happening right now. I thought I could walk away from you, but for some reason I can’t.”

  “That’s what’s bothering you?”

  He nodded. “My people face adversity our whole lives, and typically I move on and choose not to bring trouble into my life.”

  She nodded. “And I’m trouble.”

  “Yeah, big trouble.” His chuckle grew silent. “There’s going to be complications if you are seen with me. No denying it. I’m afraid for you and—”

  “That doesn’t matter to me, and if someone says a word to me, I can take care of myself.”

  He kissed the corners of her giving mouth, then her lips. She was so strong, but he worried if she could handle the added stress of defending her choices to her friends, her people.

  “I saw into the future last night, Ana. You were with me, smiling up at me. I saw it so clearly I reached out to touch you, and I came away with nothing… It scared me so bad, I wanted to call you and make sure you were alright.”

  “Like a vision?” She wrinkled her nose.

  He shrugged. “Call it whatever you want, but I realized I want to see you again. I need more than a memory of us together. I want more of you. I want to hear you lose control… I missed your dirty mouth telling me what you wanted.”

  “Oh, Kane. I’ve been miserable without you, and thinking I’m half-crazy for letting myself have these feelings about you, knowing there was no chance of us being together again. You have no idea how many nights I’ve lain awake in bed wishing your hands were touching me.”

  “Where?” he growled. “Tell me what where you wanted my touch the most.”

  She curled her fingers into the front of his shirt. “My pussy.”

  “What did you do about it?” Kane rubbed his lips together and pierced her to the spot. “Tell me, Ana.”

  “I was so wet from thinking about you. I couldn’t help but slip my finger inside my panties. God, Kane, I wanted you in my pussy so bad. I couldn’t help remembering everything you’d done to my body. Everything you’d done to make me feel so good.” She trembled. “I tried to pretend it was you, but I couldn’t… I only ended up more frustrated…”

  He claimed her mouth again. The warm night air suffocated him, yet Ana was rejuvenating him. He deepened the kiss, hot, wet
and arousing.

  Before Ana, he hadn’t given a thought to kissing someone. It was an intimate act he usually skipped when he was out for a night of pleasure. He normally went for the women who wanted a quick fuck and no relationship.

  She’d shown him how much a simple show of affection meant to him. He now craved the closeness that came when they were together. He broke away gasping. She had him wishing for the impossible.

  His people deserved his energy, and his dreams were for the Lakota. He owed them. And yet, deep inside of him he wanted Ana too.

  Ana stood in front of him, waiting, expecting. The tension between his shoulders eased. She made it seem natural and easy to take such a gamble. He wanted to live up to her expectations of him, and earn her trust. She deserved someone who tried his hardest and wouldn’t let her down. He wanted to be that person for her.

  “There’s something I’ve got to know.” He clasped her face in his hands. “Will you survive people claiming you’re lowering yourself to be with me? I know I’m selfish for asking. I know those who are your friends will give you flack for hanging around me, but I want you. Last time wasn’t enough.”

  She scrunched her brows together. “You’ll send me away again.”

  He stared into the depths of her soul, and what he saw humbled him. She was so giving, and loving. He inhaled through a tight chest. “No. Not if we’re both happy taking pleasure from each other.”

  The moon shone down on her upturned face. The tears shimmered in her eyes. “Yes…Howahkan. I want you too.”

  * * *

  Kane drove her back to his house and ushered her to the bedroom. Ana leaned forward, perched on the edge of the bed. Kane kneeled in front of her and lowered his head. She ran her fingers through his hair and brought him to her breast. His tongue lapped at the peak, his lips gathered a mouthful of her breast and suckled. An instant pull of pleasure swirled inside her lower stomach and flooded her pussy with cream.