Angel Radio

by A. M. Blaushild

  “I get that. I mean, I’m constantly discouraged by their existence. Anything less would be a bit weird. And God forbid growing comfortable.”

  “Yes, but we have to learn to move on.”

  “Do you have any problems with angels here? I didn’t see any in town, but there must be a reason you’re living in the woods like this.”

  “I suppose it’s because we all have bad memories of Norwich.”

  “Oh, are you all from Norwich, then? How did so many of you survive? I was the only one in my area.”

  “Luck. Just pure luck.”

  I was certain Broderick was hiding something, but I didn’t feel comfortable pressing him about it. I wanted these people to like me, since I was going to be staying with them for the foreseeable future.

  “How many angels were in your area? I had three, but I’m from a bigger town. Just one, then? I wonder what was wrong with it that it missed so many of you.”

  Broderick spoke abruptly. “I imagine you’re very tired from all the wandering you’ve been doing; why don’t you rest up? You can stay in this tent until we find you a more permanent dwelling.”

  “I’m not that tired. I’d love a tour if you don’t mind,” I said, dismissing his aversion to my questions.

  “A tour? I suppose that makes sense. You,” he said, pointing a boy out of the crowd, “show our new member around. Tour her.”

  After Broderick left the boy came up to me. “Uh, I’m Fex, and I guess I can guide you about? Yeah.” He was pretty cute, with slightly curly, dark hair past his ears and face red with a blush. My whole perception of people might’ve been off, though, after months of isolation. Just scanning the crowd, I could pick out numerous people I thought were pretty cute. Everyone was, at the very least, wholeheartedly appreciated in their existence.

  “Fe… cks? Weird name you got there.”

  “Ah, yes, it’s foreign. My parents are foreigners.”

  “Oh, what country?”

  “Eh….” He paused for a few seconds. “America? They were Americans.”

  “Like native? That doesn’t really make you a foreigner, then.”

  “Oh! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that’s right,” Fex said, nodding.

  We were walking through the camp, and Fex stayed silent. “Ah, what’s going on over there?” I prompted, pointing to a circle of people. They were too densely packed for me to tell if they were surrounding anything of interest.

  “That? They’re just relaxing.”

  “While standing motionless in a circle?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s weird.”

  “Let me guide you to a tent. You should sleep for a few hours.”

  “It’s the middle of the day.”

  “Sleep is vital to a fast recovery. I want the best for you.”

  Somehow, I doubted that. “I’m not sleeping. Show me around more.”

  “Okay.” He walked me to the other side of the camp, to the edge of a river. “You can gather water here if you need to drink something.”

  “I actually still have some bottled water in my backpack, but thanks.”

  “Okay, that’s all,” Fex said, and he walked away. I was too dazed to stop him.

  “That was an amazing tour, I have to say. Fex has potential,” Gav said after Fex left and I noticed him leaning against a tree on the other bank.

  “I know we’re living in a crazy world these days, but I’m sort of beginning to fear everyone here has gone completely mad.”

  Gav raised an eyebrow. “That’s an interesting thought, isn’t it?”

  “Why don’t you come here and find out for yourself?”

  “Trust me, I know.” He tossed a rock into the stream. “Damn! I was hoping that’d skip. Ah, I have another game for you to play. Why don’t we see how many differences you spotted?”

  “Differences from what?”

  “An actual civilization.” He looked me dead in the eyes.

  “Well.” I nearly laughed at his unwavering eye contact. “Uh. I don’t know?”

  “Isn’t this place a bit weird?”

  “Sure. But it’s, you know, the end of days. Things are supposed to get a bit weird. At most these guys are going to be cultists or cannibals. Which would suck, but again, it’s sort of a given during the apocalypse.”

  “Think it over a bit more. Try listing the odd things you’ve noticed about the place.”

  “Odd? I guess there’s a lot of people here, but no angels. No one has any weapons. No one seemed willing to answer my questions, but it wasn’t even like they were rude. They just seemed unaware.” My previous joy still haunted my mind, slowly fading as I forced myself to face these obvious discouragements. “And Broderick looked like he had rolled in mud and then tossed a little in his hair, while Fex clearly had no idea who he even was. And that circle of people was clearly unnatural.”

  “And what could this all mean?” Gav asked, leading me on like a condescending teacher.

  “Oh my God, don’t tell me that I’ve just stumbled into some sort of… angels-disguised-as-humans camp. Like, as the world’s most elaborately ill-planned trap. Because, if so, I have to get out of here before I die of stupidity. Which angel thought this was a good idea? Why would they even do this?” There were further implications to mull over—so angels could look like humans? But those were for later. Right now I was just struck by how ridiculous this trap was.

  “Don’t worry, they’re not going to kill you,” said Gav slowly, rolling his eyes, “but don’t say I hadn’t told you so. I was like, ‘Don’t go in there!’ and you were like ‘Whatever, I do what I want!’ It’s all your fault. Anyway, don’t expect they’re ready to let you go. You’re probably going to have to play along for a day or two until they’re all set to release you into the wild again.”

  “Why are they doing this? And should I be concerned that you clearly know all about it?”

  “Don’t worry, I’ve just run through the paces a few times. I know what’s up. Maybe one day you’ll know what’s up as well,” he said as he turned back into the shadows.

  “Go to hell!” I called after him. “Useless bastard.”

  “Why are you yelling? Are you distressed?” asked Fex, who had crept up behind me without a sound. Never before had I taken such a second look at someone. The aesthetics were still there: the dark, curly hair and the bright eyes. But I now noticed how off he looked. His hands were so clean, I had trouble believing he had ever lifted anything heavier than a couple pounds, and his face, which had seemed delightfully sculpted, now seemed to lack depth. It certainly was missing laugh lines.

  So this was the face of an angel. Pure and unworn. Why weren’t these angels killing me? What end would justify these effortful means?

  “Why are you doing this?” I asked. I didn’t bother thinking what might happen if they realized I knew about their trickery.

  “Doing what? Showing concern for someone who is clearly feeling ill?”

  “I feel fine,” I said curtly, and I headed back into camp.

  The circle of motionless angel-people had expanded since I left; even Broderick had joined their ranks.

  “I’m taking you to a tent immediately. Don’t resist it, or I will have to move you physically.”

  “Wow, that’s no way to treat your newest community member.”

  He took me to a tent and made me go in. Standing before me, holding on to the zipper to close the door, his expression remained blank. He tilted his head slightly.

  “You know what is happening. I will not alert my superiors, as I feel pity for you, but it would be best to do whatever I say. As your new commanding master, we will have a mutually beneficial relationship, as you will not be destroyed for your corruption of foreknowledge and I will have a servant to carry out matters I could not normally delve into. This will be a wonderful few days, I do believe.”

  After he left I waited patiently. I wasn’t a bit scared about Fex and these angels, as everything was beginning to feel all too r
eal and yet overwhelmingly surreal. My life felt fake, like a sitcom I had never seen playing at midnight in an empty bowling alley. I couldn’t feel fear if I was occupied with muddled thoughts of dreary acceptance.

  Luckily, the amazing trick about tents is that they open from both the outside and the inside, and a few minutes after Fex left, I let myself out. I still had my bag, and I set out to get out of camp as soon as possible.

  I made it to the border of the woods when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Lots of people will tell you they have cold skin, but Fex’s was cold as a corpse, and it occurred to me with the little I knew of these angel-people, he might very well be one.

  “I was watching you. And I will still be watching you. When they are done with their communications, I will ask to be assigned as your official Watcher. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

  His hand was just resting on my shoulder, but it was heavy enough to lead me right back to his tent.

  “Yes, of course,” I told Fex, and I glimpsed him briefly smirk, breaking his previous demeanor.

  What I was answering, I did not yet know.

  5

  I FELL asleep very quickly, almost disappointingly so. Evidently I actually had been tired.

  It was still day when I woke up, maybe just about midday by now. I ate a breakfast of cold canned corn and stale water, and not long after I had finished eating, Fex came to get me from the tent.

  An unfamiliar man was standing behind him, and in the background I could spot many people out and about. The circle of weirdos had ended.

  Perhaps that also explained Fex’s new demeanor. “I-I’ve come to wake you up, if you don’t mind,” he said, blushing heavily. “Isa here is our leader, and he’ll be helping you settle in today.”

  Isa shook my hand. “Did you have a good sleep? We’re very concerned about your well-being.” Though he looked the most sincere and human of the angel-people I had seen, he spoke clumsily, pausing after each word.

  We walked directly out of the campgrounds and onto an old trail through a meadow.

  “Thank you, sir. I slept quite well. I’m sorry I was a bit hyper from exhaustion with Broderick yesterday. Please send him my apologies.” There was no way I was going to act on how I really felt about all this, and I decided on a polite and charming persona.

  Isa smiled reassuringly. “Good. Fex, you’re dismissed. Now Erika… would you care to answer a few questions?”

  “Absolutely. I wish to—” I paused. I had no idea what purpose this was actually going to serve, so I took a wild guess. “—assimilate here as easily as possible.”

  “Off to a good start, then. Not everyone has been so graceful about it. First off, then—do you consider yourself brave?”

  “What, when dealing with angels? Or like, socially brave? I don’t know. Not really, but you know, as of late I’ve been handling myself pretty well.” I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be saying. Would it be bad to tell the truth? Or was I supposed to make myself a threat, and to make him fear me?

  “That’s fine. So you’ve been on your own for a long time now—do you think you could have survived much longer like that?”

  It was a hard question to really answer. “I’m not sure I would have wanted to. But… probably. I’m not very social. And I guess it wasn’t the first time I’ve had to live on my own either.”

  “You’d rather live than die, right?”

  “Well—yes. But if I had to live in a ghost town for the rest of my life, well, I’m not sure it’d end well for me.”

  Isa made a sort of twitching movement with his mouth. I guess he didn’t like my answer. “You’re compliant, yes? And biologically female?”

  These questions were starting to tread on a level I was uncomfortable with. Especially with the order in which the questions were asked. “Why do you ask?” I said in what I hoped was still a friendly voice.

  “It’s not always easy to be certain,” he said. “You don’t look wholly female.”

  I absolutely made a face of repulsion at that, and fixed it a moment too late. It was probably the pettiest of things to get upset at these days, but I had endured enough questions about my gender that it had left a mark on me. I do have a fairly masculine face, angled and often frowning, and I had turned to growing my hair out in recent years to combat this. Since I’d been traveling, I’d cut my hair off, and had nearly forgotten it might confuse people.

  But I do have a fairly feminine voice, I think. There was a good chance this angel was just lacking in his human knowledge, and I was overreacting for nothing. I paused for a few more seconds. “Yes, I’m a girl.”

  I would have thought it was exactly what he wanted to hear, but he still had a kind of half frown on his face. “I’m not sure this is going to work. May I touch your hand?”

  He really wasn’t trying to uphold his human facade, was he? Surely he knew how odd that was? Still, I let him take my hand and examine it thoroughly. After a minute, he let go.

  “Have you ever considered dying?”

  “Uh, maybe a couple times. No more than average, really.”

  “Unsatisfactory.” He took a few steps forward. “I’m sorry, Erika, but we can’t stand for that level of uncertainty. You’ve come close, but there are better options. Unfortunately, this means I will have to kill you.”

  “What?” I started, but Isa came at me with a heavy punch, and I swung aside right in time to dodge it. Didn’t he have some kind of magical angel power he could tap into? Then again, it was likely for the best that he was sticking to more traditional ways of fighting—I couldn’t handle him as it was.

  Again he went with a simple punch, and this time he hit me squarely in the shoulder. It wasn’t too bad, but I stumbled backward. He moved in for another simple punch, and, hyped up with adrenaline, I dropped my legs and fell down so suddenly that he was caught off guard. I caught myself with my hands before I hit the ground, and sprang up again. I had no idea what I was doing, but luckily, it seemed he didn’t either.

  I kicked his legs out from the back, and he fell to his knees. I knew I needed to run away, but I was curious. I kept my distance at about three feet away and stared Isa in his newly blank eyes. Already his pupils were just outlines and his irises were merely suggestions. All at once his movements began to stagger mechanically.

  He stopped. Straight-out stopped moving and breathing and just stood there.

  I backed away slowly at first, but then as fast as I could. I was halfway across the field when I heard Isa call after me.

  “Erika! Wait up!”

  “No!” I shouted back.

  “Erika, it’s okay! I’m no longer Isa. My name’s Kasos. Isa has been removed for disorderly conduct.” I did not want to rule out a bizarre trick by Isa, but it seemed he was telling the truth. Kasos spoke entirely differently from Isa, somehow working the same voice into a distinctly new one.

  “I don’t want to deal with you either.”

  “You will have to. As you are no doubt aware, we are all angels here. And we have a purpose for you. We feel Isa’s lapse of logic should not affect whether we deem you a proper candidate for the job we require of you, but you must cooperate with me here. It is simple enough. As long as you choose to forget about me speaking to you like this, the judgment can carry on unbiased.”

  “I have zero interest in being a pawn in whatever you’re planning. Leave me alone. I’m going back into the wild to look for other humans.”

  “There are no more humans, Erika. We have only saved a select few for our judgments. There is nowhere for you to go.”

  I didn’t want to mention the radio. I certainly didn’t want to mention Gav, who, while he wasn’t quite giving me purely human signals, didn’t feel angelic. He sort of felt like an enigma, someone acting outside of it all and made purely of shadows.

  “I want no part in whatever all this is.”

  “You really want to die, then?”

  I chewed my words before I spoke, mulling it over for a
dangerous amount of time. “No.”

  “Then stay here, work with us, and we will let you go. We will collect you again when the time is right, of course, if you end up being chosen.” He dipped his head to me as he passed. “Once more I offer apologies for any emotional and or physical damage you may have sustained from Isaiel’s actions, and I wish you the best. I know this body is not one you will be wishing to associate with, so I will be disposing of it and finding myself a new one in a short time.”

  “Uh, thanks for that, I guess,” I said, feeling a bit awkward and very put off.

  I waited in the meadow for a bit, pacing around and watching the woods for any sign of Gav. He wasn’t showing up, and I really could’ve used someone to talk to at that moment.

  I wasn’t desperate, and you know, I wasn’t even that angry that Isa had attacked me. I had won, in the end, and honestly my situation wasn’t any different.

  Plus, it seemed he was pretty much dead. God knows where he went, but I’m guessing he broke a few rules and was going to pay for it.

  It was all too strange to think of the angels as beings with a society, but they must have some sort of hierarchy. And they certainly were collaborating on something here—something nefarious and badly put together, perhaps, but something nevertheless. Something I had to get away from as soon as possible.

  The angels, now that I thought of it, had always been angels. There were some mentions of aliens in the beginning, sure, and of demons. But neither had stuck. Even the devout religious types, still holding out for brave winged humanoids, admitted these angels were definitely the real deal.

  Come to think of it, I remember doubting that they really were angels the day I heard the news. But by the time I saw them in person, I knew it to be true.

  I headed down to the river and waded in. After a moment of meditative breathing, I got out again, feeling quite dumb for bothering to get my legs wet. I looked again to the other side of the bank, and, finding it deserted, went back to camp.