Only Mine

by Cheryl Holt

  “That’s precisely what I would have said—if you’d bothered to ask me.”

  “Well, I didn’t because I was aware of how ridiculous you’d be.”

  “Ridiculous?” she scoffed. “I refuse to be a kept courtesan, and you have the gall to claim I’m being ridiculous?”

  “You were just lamenting the fact that you don’t have a home of your own, that you don’t belong anywhere. This way, you’ll have a home for five years, and if he sires children on you, we’ll negotiate for him to buy you a house. He’ll have to support your children.”

  She shouted again. “I don’t want his support!”

  Michael ignored her and continued. “If you play your cards right, it will be more than five years. If you build a family with him, he’ll keep you forever.”

  “He’s about to marry so he’ll have a wife to bear his children. He’ll build his family with her. Not me. I’ll be an afterthought, a sexual partner he can visit on weekends. I won’t live like that!”

  “I’ve met his fiancée, Annabel. He’ll never be happy with her. Deep down, he senses that. It’s why he’s so willing to enter into this agreement.”

  “I won’t be the other woman, Michael. I won’t be his second family.”

  “Why not, Annabel? He is rich, powerful, and prominent, and he’s obsessed with you. He’d anxious to provide for you. Let him! Don’t be an idiot.”

  She bristled with disgust. “He’s accused me of being a mercenary. He wondered if you and I wouldn’t ultimately scheme on him to pay for the pleasure of debauching me.”

  “He should pay!” Michael hissed.

  “I swore we weren’t after his money, but you’ve proved that he was absolutely correct. You’ve proved we were swindling him after all.”

  “How can it be a swindle? You’re giving him something of great value—your body, your time, your attention—and he’s giving you something too. He’s giving you a stipend and a home so you’ll be safe and comfortable. He’s eager to take care of you.”

  “I won’t be owned by any man! What part of that scenario don’t you understand?”

  “For pity’s sake, Annabel, where’s your pride? What has happened to your vanity? Will you permit him to use you for free? Should he be allowed to trifle with you, to suck the life and joy out of you then toss you over when he’s finished?”

  “I’ll go when I am finished. Our affair will end when I decide it’s over.”

  “It’s not up to you now. I’m your only male kin, and I’ve committed you to this arrangement. You’re bound for five years.”

  “If that’s what you suppose, you’re insane.”

  To his horror, she picked up the contract and ripped it into tiny pieces. She threw them up in the air, and they fluttered down like leaves in the wind.

  He groaned. “What did you do that for, Annabel?”

  “Before you arrived, I had been debating whether I should return to London this morning.”

  “There’s no reason to depart.”

  “There’s every reason. I’m wretched over this relationship. I never should have started it, and I won’t pursue it.”

  He shook his head with exasperation. “He’s about to give you everything you’ve ever wanted, Annabel.”

  “No, he isn’t.”

  “What hasn’t he promised to supply?”

  “Himself! His love and affection. He’s destined to wed another so he could never be mine. On several occasions, he’s bluntly informed me he would never cry off from his betrothal and have me instead.”

  “No, he can’t. You know what these aristocratic unions are like.”

  “Yes, I know very well, and if I can’t have him for my own then I want nothing from him at all.”

  She pushed back her chair and walked to the door.

  “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “I intend to have a word with Captain Grey then I’m returning to town on the fastest horse I can find. I wish you’d come with me, but that’s probably expecting too much.”

  “I’ll see you at home in a few days.”

  “Yes, I’ll see you there, and bring my trunk with you. I can’t abide the notion of leaving my clothes here.”

  Then she left, and there was such a determined march in her stride that he almost felt sorry for Captain Grey.

  Michael sighed with resignation. He’d tried his best. He’d done what he could for her, but the blasted woman had always been much too obstinate.

  What female would pass up Captain Grey’s offer? She was deranged, and he wouldn’t fret over her. She didn’t want his assistance, and she didn’t want a commitment from Captain Grey.

  What did she want? How was a man to ever guess?

  ’M SO GLAD YOU’RE here!”

  Benjamin glared over at Wesley and said, “Where else would I be? It’s my bachelor party, remember? Since I’ve barely seen you in attendance, I should probably ask where you’ve been.”

  “In town. You know that.”

  “You’re the host of this fete, but it certainly seems as if I’m swimming along on my own. Shouldn’t the host be present to...well...host?”

  Benjamin was in the front parlor, pacing, frantic with worry and desperate to talk to Annabel. Her brother was in their bedchamber, discussing the contract with her, and Benjamin was waiting for her to come down.

  She was taking forever, and he couldn’t decide if that was a good sign or not. She was so stubborn. Were they quarreling? Was she opposed to the idea?

  Fenwick had wanted to speak with her, but what if he’d mucked it up? Annabel was probably being ridiculous, and Benjamin had been about to head upstairs and explain to her why the arrangement was in her best interest when Wesley flew into the house from London.

  He was in a high state of excitement which meant Benjamin would have to deal with him before he could go to Annabel. The notion of further delay was too galling to abide.

  “We have a problem.” Wesley said.

  “We don’t have a problem, Wesley. I am perfectly fine.”

  “First of all, Soloman has been spotted—and in a very public way too.”

  “Where?”

  “He’s still in London. At least he was last night. He kidnapped Lord Wood’s daughter from her betrothal ball!”

  “Kidnapped her? Are the authorities after him? Is he about to be arrested?”

  “No,” Wesley said. “She appeared quite happy to traipse off with him, and it looked as if he’d debauched her too. She was mostly naked when he carried her out.”

  Benjamin’s brows shot up. “How fascinating. Clearly, our cousin has grown a bit wilder since we previously saw him.”

  “It was the most shocking thing I’ve ever witnessed. London is abuzz over it.”

  “I imagine so.”

  “And of course, Mother is in an absolute dither.”

  “Why would she be? She wasn’t the one who was kidnapped. Nor was she the parent of the one who was kidnapped.”

  “This is exactly the reason she didn’t want Soloman at any of your festivities. She was afraid he’d stir gossip.”

  “He definitely has. Where is he staying? Have you found out?”

  “No. He was out the door so fast I couldn’t catch him.”

  “Did you try to catch him, Wesley?”

  Wesley’s cheeks flushed, proving he hadn’t, but still he tossed out a lie. “I struggled to push through the crowd, but there were too many people and I couldn’t squeeze by them.”

  “I suppose I’d better ride to London and track him down. It would be just like him to jump on a ship and sail away before I can locate him.”

  “Must you, Benjamin? In this instance, it wouldn’t kill you to please Mother.”

  “I would make the attempt—if it were possible—but I learned long ago that there’s no pleasing her. So what else are you dying to confide?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You said we had a problem, and the first one was Soloman. That implies there’s a
second.”

  “I’ve been working to dissuade her,” Wesley said, “so don’t blame me.”

  “Blame you for what?”

  “Veronica is on her way.”

  “Veronica is coming here? To Grey Manor?”

  “Yes.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes, and she’s bringing two carriages full of her friends. She’s holding a picnic this afternoon, dancing this evening, then they will spend the night and travel back to London in the morning.”

  “Wesley”—Benjamin kept a tight rein on his temper—“my home is filled to the brim with opera dancers and libertines.”

  “I realize that.”

  “It’s not appropriate for her to be here.”

  “I know! I know!”

  “Why didn’t you stop her?”

  “How could I? I’m not her nanny.”

  “You should have told her parents.”

  “You think I didn’t try? They’re at their country house.”

  “I hope you sent them a message.”

  “I didn’t,” Wesley fumed. “Weren’t you listening, Benjamin? I’m not her nanny. If she chooses to behave like a madwoman, why is it up to me to prevent her?”

  “I thought you were in love with her. Won’t you save her from herself?”

  “No, I won’t. She’s not mine. She’s yours so perhaps you should handle her for once. I’m simply warning you. They’ll arrive within the hour.”

  “Oh, for pity’s sake,” Benjamin muttered. “I’ll write her parents immediately. I’ll ask her mother to fetch her.”

  “You do that.” Wesley was being particularly snide in a manner he never was.

  “In the interim, should we start pushing the guests out the back door? Could we get any of them to leave on such short notice?”

  Wesley appeared horrified. “You’re not letting her stay!”

  “I can order her to head back to town immediately, but what if she refuses? We’ll quarrel, and I’ll embarrass her in front of all her acquaintances. Would you rather it end that way?”

  “I don’t have any answers, Benjamin, but were I you, I’d figure out a plan before her carriage rolls up the drive.”

  Wesley spun and marched off, and Benjamin went to the writing desk and penned a quick letter to her mother. He’d have a messenger use his fastest horse, but even then it would take hours for the man to go and return.

  Would her mother bestir herself to intervene? After all, he and Veronica were about to wed. Her mother might decide they were far enough down the road to matrimony that it wasn’t improper. Especially if Veronica had brought her maid and her friends.

  What could have possessed her? Was she upset that Benjamin was hosting doxies? Was she jealous and determined to put a stop to it?

  It was the very worst time for her to show up. He’d just contracted to keep a mistress. That very moment, said mistress was up in her bedchamber discussing the terms with her brother. She and Veronica couldn’t be in residence together. It was scandalously unacceptable.

  What a disaster!

  Veronica absolutely couldn’t remain, and he was furious that she assumed she could pop in unannounced. Once she arrived, he’d have to be very stern with her. This was a childish stunt, and he didn’t care if he embarrassed her. If he tolerated such conduct now, who could predict what sort of battles they’d wage after they were wed?

  “Captain, may I talk to you for a minute?”

  Benjamin glanced up to discover Annabel had entered the room, and she was attired in her riding habit. On seeing her, he winced with dismay.

  “Hello.” He forced a grin, struggling to tamp down his frustration.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I was...ah...fussing with some aggravating correspondence. Are you going for a ride?”

  “No, I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving...for where?”

  “Home.”

  He cocked his head as if she’d spoken in a foreign language he didn’t comprehend. “To London?”

  “Yes. I don’t want to delay while I arrange a carriage so I hope it’s all right if I borrow a horse. I’ll send it back tomorrow.”

  He was flummoxed, rendered speechless. He gaped at her, and she coolly returned his stare, looking at him as if he was a stranger, as if they’d never kissed or copulated.

  “You’re not leaving,” he scoffed.

  “I’m sorry, but it’s not up to you.”

  “Have you conferred with your brother?”

  “Yes. It’s why I’m going.”

  “But...but...I made you an offer. I made you a valid, sensible offer. You have to take it.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “I’m ordering you to.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I realize you’re accustomed to lording yourself over others, but I won’t jump to do your bidding.”

  “What didn’t you like about it? Would you like me to buy you a house rather than rent one? Would you like a bigger stipend? More servants? What? Name your price.”

  “My price...”

  She sighed and glared at him, her expression advising him that he was stupid and foolish, as if he didn’t understand a single thing ordinary people should always understand.

  “I don’t have a price,” she murmured.

  “I didn’t intend how that sounded.”

  “Yes, you did. You’re eager to pay me in exchange for sexual services.”

  He leapt to his feet. “I am not.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  He stomped over to her, wagging a scolding finger in her face. “I’m providing you with a home and an income so you have some security. I’m willing to provide that home and security for five years, Annabel!”

  “No, you’re renting a house so you have a spot to privately fornicate without generating gossip and so your wife will never guess how you’re betraying her.”

  A muscle ticked in his cheek. He’d told her his life with Veronica was separate from his life with her. Why wouldn’t she listen?

  He’d been pitched into two different worlds. In one, he was a respected soldier and gentleman who was about to wed the appropriate girl and become a peer of the realm. In the other, he was a hedonistic libertine who only cared about his personal pleasure. He’d met the most beautiful, exotic woman in the kingdom, and he was determined to keep her for his very own.

  Veronica had nothing to do with those plans or that obsession!

  He took a deep breath to calm himself.

  “Annabel, I’m dealing with a bit of an...issue right now. I don’t have time to fight about this.”

  “We’re not fighting,” she ludicrously said. “I merely stopped to inform you that I’m leaving and I’m borrowing a horse.”

  He ignored her. “Would you wait for me in your bedchamber? I’ll join you there after a while, but don’t come downstairs. I will come to you, and we’ll discuss this further.”

  “There’s naught to discuss, Benjamin.”

  “There is!” he hotly insisted.

  “No, there isn’t. You’re simply confused about what’s been happening between us.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m not a whore.”

  He gasped at the very idea. “Of course you’re not.”

  “Yet you’d like to pay me as if I am.”

  “That’s not what the money is for!” He actually shouted the comment. She’d goaded him to that absurd limit. “It’s so you’re safe and don’t have to worry while we’re together.”

  “I never worry. My life is fine.”

  “Is it?” he said.

  “I’m not rich like you are, but I’ve always been happy.”

  “Bully for you, now go upstairs and wait for me.”

  “No.”

  She was being so obstinate that he yearned to shake her. How was a man to lord himself over a woman who wouldn’t be bossed?

  He threw up his hands in disgust. “What is it you’re asking of me, Annab
el? I’m giving you everything you could ever need, but you won’t take it.”

  “You might have given me what I need, but it isn’t what I want.”

  He scowled. “I don’t understand you. What is it you want?”

  “I want you, you silly oaf. I want you to be my husband.”

  “You can’t have me, Annabel. I’m promised to another, and I can’t cry off.”

  “I appreciate that, but if I’m to bind myself to you, it’s the only condition I could accept.”

  “The condition being marriage?”

  “Yes. You’d have to marry me instead of her.” She shrugged as if it was the easiest solution ever. “I’m violently opposed to matrimony, but that’s how fond I am of you. I’d wed you to fix this, but it’s not even in the realm of possibilities so it’s pointless to debate.”

  “I’ve offered you what I can. I’ve offered to watch over you—for five whole years!”

  “Yes, five years!” she sarcastically said. “And how long will your wife get to have you? What’s included in those pesky vows? Isn’t it something about ‘til death do you part? I’d get you for five years, and she’d get you until she was lying in her coffin.”

  “We could be so happy!”

  “You could be happy, but I never could be, and the fact that you don’t grasp that about me indicates how we would never suit.”

  He blew out a heavy breath. “Why are you being so difficult?”

  “I’m not being difficult. I rolled the dice to win what I desire, but I’m holding a losing hand. You’re simply upset because you’re vain and spoiled and you can’t make me behave as you planned.”

  “But your brother and I worked it all out. We both agreed it was the best ending for you.”

  “Yes, that’s what I’m delighted to hear.” She snorted with derision. “The two of you were bartering over me as if I were chattel. Neither of you thought to ask my opinion.”

  “Is that what this is about? We didn’t ask your opinion so you’re angry?”

  “I’m not angry. I’m heartbroken, but I’ll survive.” She placed her palm on the center of his chest and rubbed in a slow circle. “I love you, Benjamin,” she said, “and I’m glad we met.”