Kharmic Rebound

by Yeager, Aaron

  She rolled that one around in her head. “But you’re lying.”

  “Don’t think of it as a lie, it’s more like I’m pleading no-contest. I’m not admitting that I was wrong, I’m not going to argue about it with you anymore.”

  Trahzi rubbed her head. “Ugh, you others are so confusing. How can you achieve peace through surrender? We don’t understand you. We would never apologize for something we hadn’t done. We would press the point until they agreed with us.”

  “Yes, but peace doesn’t mean you resolve your differences, it doesn’t mean you agree with each other, it just means you put down the axe.” He threw Cha’Rolette a knowing glance.

  Well said, Gerald, she praised reluctantly.

  Gerald bent down and made Trahzi look him in the eyes. “Trahzi, I’m sorry, okay?”

  Trahzi blushed and turned away. “Fine.”

  Gerald gave a friendly smile. “Good.”

  Ilrica gave a slow clap. “I never get tired of watching him do that. That man could tame a raxxa beast and teach it to serve tea and cakes.”

  Gerald was a little embarrassed at the praise. “It’s really not all that impressive.”

  “It is to me. The Bertulf don’t have a word for ‘peacemaker,’ you see. It’s a completely foreign concept to them.”

  Ilrica jumped down off the podium and landed in front of him, her bath towel clinging to her shapely athletic body. Cadbury flapped down and started pecking at the communications station.

  “You have no idea how impressive that is to me,” Ilrica said sincerely, her eyes full of admiration. “You can win without fighting. I think that is amazing.”

  Gerald caught whiff of a pleasant sweet scent. “Is someone baking?” he asked, looking around.

  Ilrica’s cheeks become rosy. “It’s... my new perfume,” she chuckled nervously. “Do you like it?” she asked hesitantly.

  “Well, it smells like cinnamon rolls, so, yeah, I like it. Before I converted, cinnamon rolls were like my favorite thing.”

  “You said you liked pink frosted cupcakes!” Zurra yelled jealously.

  “Pink frosted cupcakes?” Gerald repeated, confused. “What are you talking about?”

  Zurra stamped her foot petulantly.

  Ilrica slinked in closer to him, her beautiful eyes hooded and dreamy. “I’m glad you like it,” she said, reaching out to straighten his robes and fix his hair for him, her fingers lingering just a little bit longer than necessary. “I’ll wear it all the time for you, then.”

  Cha’Rolette folded her arms, her eyebrow twitching in irritation. Zurra puffed her cheeks out like a puffer fish. Trahzi’s eyes erupted into blue fire.

  Gerald furrowed his brow. “Ilrica, why are you being so nice to me all of the sudden?”

  She feigned innocence. “What are you talking about? I’m always nice to you.”

  “Uh huh, right.”

  She spun around playfully. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” She glanced back at him over one shoulder and flicked his nose with the tip of her tail. “But if you try hard enough, you might figure it out.”

  Gerald looked at the other girls. He could feel the tension coming back into the room.

  “Okay,” he said, trying to change the subject. “Now that all that is settled, let’s get going on our mission. I’m actually pretty excited about this.” He strolled over to the command chair. “Where do I sit? Is this chair mine?”

  “NO!” All of the girls jumped to stop him.

  He froze and looked around, his butt hovering over the seat. “What?”

  Ilrica grabbed him and carefully pulled him away from the chair. “YOU do not touch the controls. EVER, okay? Go sit over there in the corner. Don’t even lean up against the wall.”

  Gerald stuck out his lip. “But I’ve never had a chance to pilot a starship before.”

  “GO!” they shouted in unison.

  As he sulked over to his corner, the girls breathed a sigh of relief and got to work.

  Cha’Rolette pulled out a cable from her console and plugged it into the back of her neck, as did Ilrica and Trahzi. Zurra didn’t have crystronic ports, she simply plunged the cable into her neck like it was made of jelly.

  “I still don’t get how that works,” Gerald grumbled.

  It only took the girls about three seconds to download all of the relevant data, familiarize themselves with all of the ship’s systems, train and certify in each station, and setup all of the necessary security protocols. In the final half second, they each redecorated their rooms, which reshaped themselves into their personalized specifications.

  “Holy trow, no wonder we’re so heavy,” Ilrica said, displaying a window with the cargo inventory. “Look at the manifest. We’ve got enough spare parts build a second ship.”

  “With Dyson on board that might not be enough,” Trahzi observed.

  “I’ve never see a ship with so many redundant systems before,” Zurra remarked. “Backups, secondary backups, tertiary backups, quaternary backups, quinary backups.”

  “Now you’re just making up words,” Gerald teased.

  “Ha! You’ve spoken English your whole life and I know it better than you do,” Zurra teased. “Squeaky wheels who live in glass houses should not throw grease.”

  “Yeah, you’re a regular expert, Professor Immestria.” Gerald laughed and took off his translator from his ear. Lately, out of courtesy, the girls had been speaking English instead of Standard around him, although they still threw in their own slang from time to time. Now that it was just the five of them, he figured he wouldn’t need the device at all until they arrived at Orthiax, which he appreciated. The darn thing gave him headaches.

  “Faelan’s claws, look at this, this thing uses the old nineeig maneuvering fins,” Ilrica laughed as she readjusted her bath towel.

  Cha’Rolette nodded. And the rapada drive, I’m still not sure why they wanted them both on the same chassis.

  “Maybe so people will give us a wide berth. Should be able to see this thing coming from two sectors away.”

  Zurra stretched out her pigtail and plucked it like a rubber band. “I don’t get it. It’s like the whole ship has been redesigned to create as big of an aetherial wake as possible.”

  “Why was it built this way, Duchess?”

  I couldn’t tell you. The specs were handed to us from Central Command, we just filled the order. Got to charge ‘em quadruple for the rush job, she boasted.

  Ilrica’s eyes flashed mischievously as she brought up a window containing the ship’s schematics. “Haven’t you gals noticed yet?” She swiped her hand and copies appeared in front of the other girls, who leaned forward, intrigued.

  Gerald looked on as the four of them had a silent conversation through the ship’s internal network.

  “What are you guys planning over there?”

  Ilrica, Zurra, and Cha’Rolette glanced at him fiendishly.

  A drop of sweat ran down his face. “What?”

  * * *

  Inside the Kalia Greir, the rec room had been reformed into a grassy hillside. A picnic blanket was laid out beneath an oak tree, while far above the warm spring sun warmed them from the crisp mountain air. It felt so real that Gerald found himself truly relaxing, and it reminded him of how much more at home he felt outside than in a classroom or a building.

  Cadbury ran about happily, flapping her stubby wings, and occasionally running headlong into the tree.

  While the rest of them wore their school uniforms, Ilrica was wearing a Terraxian outfit that kind of looked like cargo pants and a tank top. It was a good, casual look that fit perfectly with her personality, and somehow made her seem more feminine. Gerald caught himself studying the delicate womanly sweep of her back. If she noticed, she didn’t let on.

  “HA! You didn’t say UNO, Duchess,” Zurra shouted, growing a dog tail and wagging it happily.

  This is absurd, Cha’Rolette complained. I shouldn’t have to shout out like some kind of maniac. I
t’s perfectly obvious that I only have one card left.

  “I’m afraid those are the rules,” Gerald said from behind his cards. “Now you have to draw four.”

  Cha’Rolette grumbled to herself as she levitated four fresh cards into her hand.

  “Your turn, Trahzi.”

  Trahzi had her cards laid down on the blanket before her. Concentrating, she carefully grabbed one by the corner, but it burst into flames at her touch.

  “Dangit, Trahzi, these cards are collector’s items,” Zurra complained.

  “We are sorry,” she said stamping the card out. She held it up for all to see. “This used to be a green seven. Now it is... brown.”

  “Well then, you shouldn’t be able to place it,” Zurra said.

  “It still counts,” Gerald assured. Zurra turned her head into a giant tongue and gave him a raspberry as Trahzi laid the burnt card down on the pile.

  Gerald had at least two dozen cards in his hand. He glanced over at Ilrica and grabbed at one.

  “Dyson, if you skip me again I’ll rip out your spine,” Ilrica growled without looking up.

  Realizing this was no idle threat, Gerald grabbed a different card and threw it down.

  “Wild Draw Four.”

  “Oh, you torg!” Ilrica swore.

  Gerald laughed.

  “Hey, you can’t play that unless you can’t play the current color,” Zurra protested.

  “I can’t.”

  “What do you mean, you can’t? You’ve got like half the deck in your hand. How can you not have a green?”

  “I’m telling you I don’t have any green,” Gerald defended.

  “He really doesn’t,” Ilrica groaned as she picked up the extra cards and placed them in her hand.

  What color are we now?

  Gerald looked at Zurra and thought. “R...”

  “Don’t do red,” Ilrica cautioned. “Her last card is red.”

  Zurra pulled her card in close. “You cheater!”

  “I’m not cheating.”

  “Yes, you are. You looked at my card.”

  “How could I look at your card?”

  “Easily.”

  Yes, she’s probably been bending time and walking around to look at our hands this whole time.

  “Now, why would I want to shorten my lifespan just to do that?”

  Because you are vain and petty.

  “You’re just mad because you are losing.”

  Tch. I’m not losing. I have a strategy.

  “A strategy to lose.”

  Oh, be quiet, you hair ball.

  “You really shouldn’t cheat, Ilrica,” Gerald said.

  “It’s not cheating to look at your cards.”

  HA! So, you admit you were looking.

  Ilrica pointed over to Trahzi. “She has her cards laid out, so the rest of you are cheating for looking at hers.”

  Worried she had done something wrong, Trahzi grabbed a nearby stick and flipped her cards face down.

  “I don’t think that counts as cheating when they are laid out like that,” Gerald said.

  Who knows what counts, this game makes no sense. Why should I have to start with as many cards as the rest of you, anyway?

  “Ask Gerald, he knows the rules.”

  “Good point,” Ilrica said. “Do the rules prohibit a player from bending time in order to look at other player’s hands?”

  Gerald moved to scratch the back of his neck, but caught himself. “I don’t know that the rules cover that specifically...”

  “Ha! You see?” Ilrica boasted.

  “...but it is against the spirit of the rules.”

  Ilrica waved her hand. “Oh, spirit-schmirit, call the color, Dyson.”

  Gerald looked over at Zurra, who was shaking with excitement as she held onto her last card.

  Cha’Rolette’s eyes narrowed. Don’t do it, Dyson. If you call red she’ll win.

  “Well, the only fair thing is for me to call the color I would have without Ilrica’s information.

  “But you will lose,” Trahzi observed.

  “Well, it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about having fun playing the game.”

  That is just something losers say.

  Gerald sucked in deeply and folded up his hand. “I call red.”

  Blast, Cha’Rolette said, folding up her cards. I never should have agreed to this.

  Zurra nearly exploded with joy. “Yay! I win!” She threw down her card, which was yellow.

  “What the crap?!”

  “That is not a red card,” Trahzi said. “You may not play it.”

  “Ha ha haaaahahahaha!” Ilrica laughed, throwing her head back.

  Zurra came to a quick boil, bubbles foaming up through her body. “You did that!” she accused with a long finger. “You froze time and swapped out my card!”

  “Prove it, toilet monster!” Ilrica goaded, laughing even louder.

  Zurra threw up her hands and turned to the others. “I am not a toilet monster. And my last card was red, I swear it!”

  “We do not see a red card,” Trahzi affirmed.

  “Ah ha ha! Haaaaahahahaahaaaa!” Ilrica laughed, falling onto her back and grabbing her sides.

  Gerald placed his face in his hands. “This was supposed to just be a friendly game. Why do girls have to be so aggressive?”

  Zurra waved her arms around. “Of course we’re going to act this way when the stakes are so high.”

  “Stakes?”

  Ilrica, Zurra, and Cha’Rolette looked away, feigning innocence.

  Gerald folded up his hand. “Okay, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Spill it.”

  Zurra broke first. “Okay, the Kalia Greir was only planned to house two students. Now, it has two spare rooms, but there are five of us. That means that two of us will have to share a room.”

  “I still don’t get what the big deal is.”

  Ilrica’s emerald eyes twinkled. “So, Zurra, the Duchess and I decided that whoever wins this game gets to share a room with you.”

  “You can’t just go and decide something like that on your own.”

  We already did.

  “I’m about to win, so I get you all to myself for the rest of the trip,” Ilrica boasted.

  “You aren’t winning! Zurra yelled. “I have the fewest cards.”

  “You sure about that?”

  Zurra looked down and her eyes became as big as dinner plates. “Ahh! Where did all these flippin’ cards come from!” She held up her hand. She was now holding seven cards.

  “Looks like you are pulling in fourth place, Immestria.”

  Zurra shook her head, her pigtails flapping back and forth. “No, this isn’t possible. I said UNO last turn, how can I have seven cards now?”

  “You must have miscounted.”

  “Snograt!” She swore. “You froze time and shoved more cards in my hand!”

  “Prove that, too.”

  Zurra appealed to the others. “Trahzi, you can back me up on this. She shoved extra cards into my hand, right?”

  Trahzi shrugged. “We only agreed to do this for novelty’s sake. We do not care who wins.”

  Zurra’s mouth became bigger than her head. “YOU TRAITOR!”

  “We find that ironic, coming from you.”

  “I’m gonna win,” Ilrica sang happily to herself, rearranging the cards in her hand.

  “You aren’t winning, you’re cheating! It doesn’t count!”

  “Winning always counts, Immestria. I would think your people would have learned that by now.”

  Zurra boiled again. “Ohhhh, that is a low blow, Faolan!”

  Ilrica leaned back against the tree nonchalantly. “Meh, go post about it on a Bertulf hate-site on the net. There’s plenty of people there who want to echo-chamber with you there, but the fact is, no matter how much you scream that life isn’t fair, it still won’t bring your planet back.”

  Gerald could tell that her comment hurt
Zurra deeply. He reached over and patted her head sympathetically, which she appreciated. When she started giving off a little purring noise like a cat however, he stopped.

  Cha’Rolette folded up her hand. This posturing is pointless. Rather than competing for him, we should simply setup a time share.

  “You only want to do that because you’re losing.”

  We can take turns, that way, each of us will get him every third night.

  Trahzi was irritated. “Why not just have two of the females bunk together? That would make the most sense.”

  The other girls all turned and looked at her.

  “I thought you didn’t care?”

  Trahzi folded her arms and looked away. “We... don’t.”

  “Now who’s lying?”

  Very well, we shall move him from room to room. Is everyone in agreement?

  “I’m not a piece of furniture!”

  Ilrica and Zurra nodded. Trahzi looked conflicted.

  Gerald put his hands into a T shape. “Time out! Don’t I get a say in this?”

  This doesn’t concern you. This is business.

  “It absolutely concerns me.”

  Cha’Rolette sighed. Fine, we shall allow Gerald to have a say by putting this matter to a vote. All in favor?

  Zurra, Ilrica, and Cha’Rolette raised their hands. “Aye!”

  And against?

  Gerald raised both of his hands. “Nay!”

  The Ayes have it. Motion passes 3 to 1, with one abstention

  “Hey, I had both hands up!”

  Fine, motion still passes 3 to 2, with one abstention, so shall it be written, so shall it be. She tapped a stick against a rock as if it had been a gavel.

  Gerald turned to Trahzi. “Why did you abstain?”

  Trahzi looked unsure of herself. “We... do not speak to us!”

  Ilrica reached out and grabbed his sleeve. “I get him tonight!”

  “No you don’t!” Zurra yelled, grabbing his other arm. “We never agreed to that!”

  Ilrica grabbed him with both hands and tugged at him. “I was closest to winning, so I get him first.”

  Cha’Rolette reached out and grabbed his collar. I negotiated the agreement; that I be given special consideration is simply a rule of etiquette.

  Gerald yelped in pain as he was pulled in three directions.

  Suddenly the ship lurched and gave off a sound like a car bumper being scraped across a brick wall. The lights flickered and the ship came to a halt.