Kharmic Rebound

by Yeager, Aaron

  Madam Ne’Flav took her hand, and then displayed a fine and strong Bertulf huntress, standing atop a dead dinosaur- looking thing thirty times her size.

  Ilrica was ecstatic. “Oh wow, look at me! I’m so tall, and look at the size of those fangs! Awesome! And look at that spear. I bet she carved that out of a mannota rib! I never get tired of looking at this one.”

  Gerald smiled. “Well, she seems happy, although I’m kind of surprised that she was also a hunter in her last few lives.”

  That is fairly common, actually.

  “Really?”

  Yes, why?

  “I dunno, I guess I figured you’d spend a couple lifetimes here and there as a bird or a goat or something.”

  Only if you really screw up.

  “Oh.”

  Cha’Rolette was next. The raven-haired woman in the mist had kind eyes, and a gentle presence.

  “Is that really the Duchess?” Ilrica wondered.

  The woman flicked her hair over her shoulder and raised her scepter. All around her soldiers rose up and charged forward into battle, singing her praises.

  “Forward my mindless minions!” She shouted. “Die for your Countess!”

  “Oh, that’s the Duchess all right,” Zurra chuckled.

  Hmph.

  “According to Central, that was Countessa De’Lacourd. She ruled over the entire Alisian sub-sector from 39-992 until 46-075 C.E.”

  Cha’Rolette looked a little miffed. So, I was an Alisian in my last life. Now I feel bad for closing down their tarnoc factories last year. I suppose I should send them a gift basket.

  “Wow, you were an aristocrat in your last life too! That is pretty lucky,” Gerald said.

  She raised an eyebrow. Luck? Luck has nothing to do with it.

  “It doesn’t?”

  Well, of course not. I’ve been an aristocrat for at least the last hundred lifetimes. Everyone in my family has.

  “They have?”

  “Yeah, mine too,” Zurra confirmed.

  The purple people behind them were getting impatient, so Cha’Rolette pulled him out of the line. Look, Gerald, I know you humans are still new to all of this, but the laws of Kharma have been known to the rest of us for tens of thousands of cycles.

  “I don’t get it.”

  “I can explain!” Zurra offered, raising her hand.

  Absolutely not. You go over there and study that purple bush or something.

  “Hey!”

  Cha’Rolette sat him down. Think of it this way. There are only a few children born into affluent families each year. That means all of the souls from previous generations are competing for those choice spots. Elite families, like mine, make sure that gobs of money are donated to charity in their names. Basically, they ensure their position for their next life.

  “You can’t be serious.”

  I would not lie about something this important.

  Gerald was incensed. “But... no, that just can’t be. Surely other things count for good, not just money.”

  Well, sure, all kind deeds count for Kharma. We elite simply make sure that we donate so much money that no one from a lower class could ever compete. A commoner could spend their entire life doing nothing but good deeds and won’t even come close to generating as much positive Kharma as an elite can. The Ssykes family has already donated several trillion credits in my name over the years, and I’m not even a full adult yet.

  Gerald couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So, all that stuff we’ve done together; all the new orphanages. All that good work. That was just you gaming the system so that you get to be reborn as an aristocrat again?”

  Cha’Rolette gasped. No... I mean at first, yes, but... then things started to change.

  The disappointment in his eyes cut her to the core.

  “It’s not her fault, Gerald,” Ilrica added. “This is the way it’s always been. I’ve been a huntress for as far back as I’ve cared to check.”

  Zurra sat next to Gerald and grabbed his arm. “No, it’s okay, go ahead and blame the Duchess. I’m on your side, Geri.”

  Gerald put his hands up on his head. “I don’t like this. This has to be a lie. It just can’t be true. It can’t. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!”

  He stood up and tripped, falling sideways and crashing into Madam Nef’Flav. Her eyes flashed and she began screaming, holding the sides of her head, and collapsing to the ground.

  “Crap Gerald, what did you do to her?”

  “I... I didn’t do anything. I’m sorry!”

  All of the gypsies ran in to attend to their matriarch. As the woman convulsed, they carried her lovingly back into the inner sanctum.

  “I’m very sorry, but Madam Nef’Flav needs her rest. She will not be able to do any more readings today.”

  The crowd booed at Gerald. From somewhere, a purple rock was thrown and hit him in the head.

  * * *

  A couple of hours later, Gerald sat outside the tent circle, a bag of ice pressed against his throbbing head. His eyes looked empty and distant. Cha’Rolette was inside, still smoothing things over. Trahzi had come out just long enough to drag Ilrica away and make her reinstall the part of the bulkhead she had removed. Gerald had been forced to do a couple of interviews for some reporters. Now that things had died down, he took a moment to just sit and allow himself to feel disappointed.

  Zurra walked up and set down a drink for him. “You feeling any better?”

  “No.”

  “This isn’t about the rock, is it?”

  “No, it’s not.”

  Zurra sat down. “You wanna talk about it?”

  “Isn’t that my line?”

  “Hey, I can be helpful too, you know? I was a psychiatrist five lives ago.”

  “Yeah, I’m still not sure I believe that.”

  She folded her arms. “Look, it’s not my fault that things went so wrong this time around. My planet was destroyed, I grew up penniless with you. I didn’t have access to the family or schooling that I usually got, so of course I’m going to be a little different this time around, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not still me, okay?”

  Gerald turned to her, sympathy in his eyes. He didn’t even like to think of what she had been through. “I’m sorry, you’re right. It’s not fair for me to judge you based on what you didn’t get this lifetime.”

  “That’s better. Now, go ahead and say what’s on your mind. If you hold it in, it’ll just become a sickness, and come out in unhealthy ways. Best to let it out now when it can be a productive force.”

  Gerald stared at her.

  “What?”

  “N-nothing, that was just... really wise.”

  She puffed her cheeks and began boiling.

  “...it suits you.”

  “Oh.” Her anger dissolved, and she gave him a hug.

  Gerald sighed. “Okay, here goes. You ready?”

  She shaped one hand into a notebook, the other into an oversized pencil. “Ready.”

  Gerald looked out at the setting purple sun. “I’d always believed in altruism. To do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do, and for no other reason. In a way, I’ve based my whole life on that idea. But now...”

  He had to take a second to rein in his anger. He clenched his fist and stared at it. “...now I come to find out that the universe doesn’t work that way. Good and evil are nothing but a system that can be gamed and exploited just like anything else, and the rich hold all the cards. Did you have an affair? No problem, just donate a certain amount of money, and the good you just purchased will cancel out the bad. Want to murder someone? No problem, you can even pay the fee beforehand just to be safe. It’s like we’re back to the dark ages with dolances and corruption all over again, except this time it’s the law of the universe.”

  He turned to her, unsure of everything. “I just... don’t know what to believe in any more. I got nothing. What do you think?”

  “Well, I’m not smart like the Duchess. She’d pro
bably say something like...” Zurra morphed into a pink copy of Cha’Rolette and copied her voice. “...Don’t blame the players, blame the game. We don’t make the rules, we just work within them.”

  “And, I’m not powerful like Ilrica. She’d probably say...” Zurra changed into a pink Ilrica. “...Fairness is a human concept. The universe has never been fair, nor will it ever be. Spend all the time you want screaming about it, but all you’ll get is a sore throat.”

  Zurra turned back into her adult form. “I’m just me, and you know what I say?”

  “What?”

  She turned to him and smiled. “I say, you go right on believing in altruism. Keep on doing what is right because it is right. It’s who you are. It’s who you’ve always been. That’s what I like about you.”

  Gerald smiled. He couldn’t hide how happy that made him feel. “Thanks, Zuri. You’re a good friend.”

  She pouted. “Just a friend?”

  He rolled his eyes and reached out, pulling her in with one massive arm, and giving her a noogie on the top of her head.

  “Hey what are you doing? Ow! Stop it!”

  She pulled free of him and rubbed her head. “You haven’t done that to me since we were nine.”

  Gerald looked at her with new eyes. “You know, you are too hard on yourself, Zuri. You say you are not powerful, but I saw you shoot a beam of energy through an entire mountain range. And apparently that wasn’t even full strength.”

  She sniffed. “I thought if I went all out you’d get hurt.”

  “...And you say that you are not smart, but I’ve seen you learn to fly a spaceship in just a couple of seconds.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Anyone with a port can do that.”

  “...And when Trahzi blew up my room, you were there to protect me. I’d be dead right now if it wasn’t for you.”

  “That hurt a lot, I hope you know.”

  Gerald smiled gratefully. “I know it did. My point is, you are an amazing person, Zuri. You may drive me crazy sometimes, but I am happy to call you my friend. And yes, if I wasn’t focused on becoming a priest, you could easily be even more than a friend to me. How’s that?”

  Her eyes were swimming. She put her hands over her heart. “Wow, you have no idea what you just did to me. I feel like I am floating.” She blushed from head to toe as she rippled with joy. “Thank you,” she said, tears rolling down her cheek. “I felt like you had all these other girls that were so much better than me. I thought I didn’t have a chance compared to them.”

  “After all the bragging you did in front of them?”

  She turned away bashfully. “That is just an act. I’m deathly afraid of people, you know that. I can’t stand the way they look at me. So, I put on a strong face as a defense. I attack them before they can attack me.”

  She looked up at him, her armor stripped away. “I mean, it makes sense for me to pretend, right? I’m just a freaky shape shifter, after all.”

  Gerald reached out and wiped the tear off of her cheek. “You’re not a freak. I’ve never thought so.”

  She tilted her cheek into his hand. “I know. Thank you for that.”

  Being so open and honest with each other made them both feel a little silly. She started giggling, and he couldn’t help but join in. Her giggles erupted into laughter and he couldn’t help but go along.

  After a good long laugh, they both leaned back against the tent, their emotions spent.

  “Oh, we are both just big bags of emotional problems, aren’t we?” he admitted.

  “Everyone’s crazy, didn’t you know?” she said, her eyes twinkling.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “The trick is to find the kind of crazy you are compatible with.”

  Gerald laughed. “Yeah, I guess we do kind of fit together, don’t we?”

  “Now all we have to do is fix the priest thing, and we’ll go from there.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not something that can just be fixed, Zuri. My mind is made up.”

  “Oh, that reminds me, I have something for you.” She reached into her own head and pulled out a tablet.

  “I’m never going to get used to seeing you do that.”

  She held the tablet out to him.

  “What is this?”

  “I promised you I’d fill out your paperwork for you so we could have fun together. It’s all here. It just needs your thumbprint in order to send it to Command.”

  “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

  Gerald placed his thumb in the corner and the tablet chimed happily. A synthetic voice announced, “Identity confirmed. Marriage contract signed. Congratulations.”

  “Yes! I did it!” Zurra yelled, jumping up and holding the tablet above her head.

  Gerald sat up straight. “Wait, that was...?”

  “I win! I win! Ha, ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!”

  She jumped around like a maniac, holding the tablet as she bounced around. “Eat it, Ssykes! Eat it, Faolan! The war is over. Geri belongs to me!”

  Gerald stood up. “Hey, give that back!”

  “No way!”

  Gerald leapt at her, but she coiled herself into a spring and bounced up high, out of his reach.

  “Come back here!”

  She sprouted wings and flew off like a bird, carrying the tablet in her claws. “I win I win! Geri is my bride!”

  Gerald sprinted off after her, but she was too fast. “I take it all back. You are a crazy, obsessed stalker! That’s what you are!”

  “I guess that makes you Mrs. Crazy Obsessed Stalker. He he he heeeeeee!”

  Gerald stumbled over a rock and fell to the ground. “Somebody stop her!”

  * * *

  As Madam Nef’Flav lay in her bed, the inner sanctum was disturbed by a flash of fire. Some of the men rushed in, startled to see Trahzi standing there. “Hey! What are you doing in here?”

  Nef’Flav raised her old wrinkly hand. “I have been expecting her.”

  “You have?” Trahzi asked as the gypsies backed off.

  She nodded, and motioned for Trahzi to have a seat.

  Trahzi did so reluctantly. “Trahzi do not have past lives. We have been the same mind since we first came into existence. However, the others seem to find great comfort and solace in your visions. We thought you might be able to do the same for us.”

  Nef’Flav closed her eyes and took Trahzi’s hand. “The past has always been the past. There is no new knowledge there. The knowledge needed is in your death...”

  Trahzi’s eyes went wide. “Our death?”

  “...To save him, you must sacrifice his mind...”

  “Who’s mind? Dyson’s?”

  “...Do so when your time is nigh.”

  Trahzi stood up. “What are you saying? Are you saying that we Trahzi are going to die?” Her face was panicked. “How? By who? Is it Dyson’s fault somehow? Does he kill us?”

  Nef’Flav looked weary. “Your people also have the sight. How can you not know?”

  Trahzi turned her eyes away in shame. “The Trahzi in this body no longer possesses that ability. It has been fading for some time now.”

  Nef’Flav closed her eyes and released Trahzi’s hand.

  “No, do not rest! You must tell us! How do we die?!”

  Nef’Flav slipped away into unconsciousness.

  Trahzi released her and stepped back, realizing the full weight of the implications.

  “NO! We refuse to believe it. This is a trick of some kind. We cannot die, we will not die! Leave us alone!”

  And in a flash of fire, she was gone again.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  AOTF, the Association of Tumbler Feminists, stunned the Alliance legal world by filing a lawsuit against Dianosis, Goddess of the Stars. It was the first time a God had ever been sued in district court, and several cycles were spent bouncing the case from appellate court to appellate court, as no judge in his/her/it’s right mind would agree to put an old one on trial. Finally Judge Ittola M’Orran of Valenc agreed to hear t
he case, in which it was argued that Dianosis, a woman of nearly infinite power, wisdom, kindness, and beauty, was a terrible role model for little girls everywhere, because her autobiographical holo-film did not in fact, pass the Bechdel test. The AOTF filed for damages on behalf of ‘little girls everywhere,’ an undefined group that seems to consist only of AOTF members. Legal Counsel for Dianosis argued that being a Goddess was, in fact, a kind of celebrity, and as everyone knows, celebrities are above the law. Judge M’Orran ruled in favor of Dianosis.

  -Court Records Synopsis, 5th District Western Quadrant Court, R22.12-J8644pp

  Little Zurra was awakened in the middle of the night. She felt her mother carrying her. People were screaming, people were running. She rubbed her little eyes, but she was so sleepy it was all in a blur.

  Her mother rolled the two of them up into a ball and sped along the causeways. Crowds of people were pressing forwards towards the remaining ships. Up in the sky, massive warships were descending. Like black locusts they blocked out the moon and starlight.

  “It’s the ArchTyrant!” people were screaming. “The ArchTyrant betrayed us!”

  As Zurra and her mother forced their way to the head of the crowd, Confederate guards frantically tried to hold back the clamoring crowds as the last ship unmoored itself.

  “Please, take us with you!” her mother yelled, her voice somehow carrying up over the terrified people.

  “We can’t, ma’am, we’re already at capacity!” the man shouted back as he pushed people away from the closing doors. He looked like his heart was about to break. “If we take any more we’ll crash.”

  People were crying, people were praying. Up above the black ships began to hiss.

  Zurra’s mother held her out to the man. “Please, take my daughter then!”

  The guard had tears in his eyes too. “I can’t do that.”

  Zurra became scared. She reached back for her mother. “Mommy, what’s happening?”

  The guard looked back at her, hesitant.

  “Please,” her mother pleaded. “Oh, by the Gods, please take her with you!”

  Zurra looked at her mother. She was crying.

  “Mommy, what’s wrong?”

  “Don’t let my daughter die! Please! You can’t let her die!”