Truth In Wildflowers

by Kimberly Rose

  Lennon stuck out her hand and gave Tanner a firm handshake. “What are your intentions with my friend?” Capri and I rolled our eyes at each other before Tanner yanked his hand away wrapping it around Capri’s shoulders with another flip of his hair.

  “Nothing but good times,” hair flip, “and good love.” Hair flip accompanied by a wink. Yuck.

  “So, how’d you two meet?” I asked Tanner trying to steer him from his sleaziness. He flipped his hair again. Who am I kidding? He can’t even save himself.

  “Funny story,” he laughed. “I was in the Student Union talking to this girl.”

  “You were hitting on her.” Capri interrupted.

  “Don’t cut me off babe,” Lennon and I tensed. I could feel the pulse of her fists clenching and unclenching through the space between us.

  “Don’t talk to me like that, Tanner.” Capri grunted to him, although not as forcefully as I would have liked. Still, I’m glad she spoke up.

  “Okay babe, sorry, so anyway.” He continued on, “This other girl kept ignoring me. So disrespectful. That’s when Capri walked by with her long legs and tiny shorts. I left that other girl where she sat and followed after Capri.” He placed a kiss on Capri’s cheek and winked at us again.

  “That was a funny story? I’m not laughing,” I whispered to Lennon.

  “No, I wanna high kick his balls off, but I’m not laughing.” She whispered back.

  “So, you only like her for how hot she is?” Lennon spoke up to Tanner. Hair flip “You didn’t even mention how sweet, kind, or easy going she is.” Hair flip, hair flip, hair flip. “Nothing about who she is, only what made your dick jump?” Spastic, rapid hair flip.

  Tanner remained silent, but his hair spoke volumes. Lennon made him nervous, which she had intended to do. As much as I’d love to watch her make him squirm a bit more, Capri had enough. She tapped her jeweled sandal in the sand sending up a puff of fine dust around her legs.

  “Alright Capri,” I said, “why don’t you two head over to the party and we will catch up with you in a bit. I want to find a friend of mine from psych real quick and say hi.” She mouthed a silent Thank You to me and pulled a still seizing Tanner toward the party. Without missing a beat, he reached down and gave her butt a hearty squeeze.

  “He’s a tool bag.” Lennon said to me while glaring them walk away.

  “Yeah, he’s not my favorite that’s for sure, but we’ve only just met him.”

  “How is it you have so much faith in others and none in yourself?” Lennon asked grabbing my hand in hers and yanking me towards the party. I stumbled along, my feet tripping over her words.

  * * *

  I’ll never pee in a frat house again. Lennon and I found ourselves ambushed by two of Tanner’s fraternity brothers. Hunter and Jake currently enlightened us about the peepholes they had drilled into the walls of the bathrooms in their frat house. I doubt they would have divulged such information had they not spent the last hour at the beer pong table. Lennon seemed to enjoy dragging the dirty little secrets out of the inebriated twosome. I, on the other hand, mentally vowed to seek a bush rather than the bathroom at Casa de Sigma Chi.

  Midway through their blueprint of how to be a peeping tom, Jake jumped up and tripped sideways on his bare feet. “That’s where I know you from!” Oh shit, I’d already used the bathroom there.

  “I had biology with you freshman year.” Crisis averted. I couldn’t remember the guy at all though. Nothing about him was familiar to me. He swore we even talked on a few occasions. “I even asked you out once.” He told me as we sat together on a log in front of the fire. Lennon busied herself by placing requests with the aspiring musician who had shown up with his guitar.

  “You did?” I doubt I’m the one he’s remembering.

  “Yeah, I asked you if you wanted to go out for pizza with some of my buddies. You straight up told me you didn’t date.” Well, that sounded like me.

  “I did?” I did. I probably shared a likeness to Keanu Reeves dodging dating requests in slow motion. Here comes a date! Quick, backwards table top!

  He laughed at my confusion and scooted a little closer to me on the log. “Yeah, you did. I told you it wasn’t a date, just pizza with some friends, and you told me pizza leads to sex.”

  I barked out a laugh at that. Yep, that was me. “I remember now. Sorry about that. I was a little callous for a while.” I wouldn’t admit the truth, that I had been callous a long, long while. Up until very recently, up until a tall dark haired, chocolate eyed, dangerous mix of sexy and sweet August showed up into my life. He had me reconsidering my stance on dating. Had being the operative word, because after my voicemail today I wasn’t so sure August and I had the same idea when it came to dating.

  “No hard feelings.” He scooted again until his thigh touched mine. I scooted away. “I’m just glad I ran into you again. You seem good now. Happy.” He scooted back towards me, and he was right. I was happy. The fuzzy view of my life had started to come into focus.

  My interest in August was clear. My visceral reaction to him had peaked my curiosity to begin with, but the time we had spent getting to know each other is what really let my carefully placed veil slip a bit. The voice message I heard today blurred my thoughts on what to do about those blossoming feelings. I wanted to trust him, and I wanted to see where things could lead with us. Those desires alone were monumental for me, but want and assurance were two very different things.

  I was so preoccupied by my thought of August, I thought I saw him walking out of the parking lot towards the party. I had it bad. Whether I trusted him or not, my mind could have cared less. It watched the stranger navigate through the crowd and imagined August searching for me. Frantically he bobbed and weaved, until his eyes locked on me across the sand. With determined strides he made his way to me and pulled me passionately into his arms before his tall bearded friend could catch up. Wait, tall bearded friend?

  I realized my mind wasn’t dreaming him up, but he was actually here. I wanted to ditch poor Jake and dash from this log to August’s forearms. My soul leapt towards him attempting to pull my body along. As if he felt the same tug, August looked up from where he was scanning the crowd for me. We were too far away to make any eye contact, but I knew the moment he saw me. I felt it like a zap of electricity on my skin, and I saw Wes stumble into him when he halted his steps. I forced myself to turn back toward Jake, who had been talking to me this whole time.

  “Maybe,” Jake started. “Maybe, I could take you out for that pizza? No friends this time. Just us two?” Oh hell, I hadn’t seen that coming. Before I could politely decline, a deep voice I knew so well spoke behind us.

  “No can do, Romeo. She’s spoken for.” August reached between us grabbing my hand and pulling me off the log to his side. Jake stood and threw his arms in front of him in surrender. “Sorry man, I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.”

  “She doesn’t.” I yanked my hand away from August’s and started stomping off in the sand away from the fire. How dare he be with another girl today, and then claim me? I didn’t get the chance to claim him, instead I had to listen to someone else make him laugh.

  “Kensie!” August called behind me. “Kensie, wait up. What’s this all about?” He caught up to me and gently grabbed my hand. My mind told me to keep stomping off into the night, but the warmth of his hand shot straight to my heart.

  “This,” I gestured to the fire and the group of people that were now either stumbling, singing along to the musician’s songs, or flat out in the sand, “is a party, August.”

  “I know this is a party.” He looked disappointed in me for my avoidance. “What I mean is, why did I get a call from my sister telling me to come straighten out the mess I made? Why did you not answer any of the gazillion calls I made to you in a panic? Why did I show up here to see you snuggled up with some other dude?” He still held my hand in his and the confusion swimming in his eyes nearly drowned me.

  “I wasn’t snuggling up wi
th anyone, August. I’m just hanging out at a party.”

  “Okay, so why haven’t you answered any of my calls? I was worried.” Guilt gnawed at my firm stance.

  “I was busy. No big deal.” I’m such a bitch. August’s eyebrows pulled together and he takes his hand from mine. The chill left in my palm a stark contrast to his effect on me.

  “No big deal? Well, it’s a big deal to me, Kensie. It’s a big deal that I can’t get you off my mind. It’s a very big deal that I want to spend all my time with you. It’s a very big fucking deal that I drove all over town like a madman thinking you were… that something bad had happened to you.” His chest heaved just inches from me. I wanted to give into his distress, but I couldn’t ignore what I’d heard earlier.

  “If this…” I gestured between the two of us. “is a big deal, August, then why were you with another girl this afternoon?” I asked quietly breathing in enough of his anger for the both of us.

  A look of recognition sparked in his eyes. “I was with another girl today,“ he began, but didn’t finish as I cut him off.

  “No shit, you butt dialed me and I got to listen to five agonizing minutes of it. Five minutes of trying to rationalize who it could be, why she was with you, and why you hadn’t mentioned it to me.” Screw this. I turned around and plodded kicking up sand on my way towards one of the small coves on the beach.

  “I butt dialed you?” He yelled from behind. I could hear his footsteps pressing into the soft sand from behind me, but I didn’t stop walking. Just as I reached the solace of the cove, his hand made gentle contact with my forearm. Damn him and his long legs.

  “I butt dialed you.” His voice cracked over a hidden laugh. I whipped around and glared at him.

  “Yes! It’s not funny.” I propped my hands stiffly on my hips.

  “No, no. Not funny at all.” He said shielding his face from me in the darkness, but I caught the smirk on his face shining in the moonlight.

  “You were with someone else, and she made you laugh.” The jealousy and hurt I’d been holding in all day wanted escape, but I held those betraying feelings hostage.

  His eyes flicked back up to me and they widened in understanding. “I hurt you.” He said taking a step toward me.

  I took a step back. “I’m not hurt. I’m angry.”

  “I’m sorry I hurt you.” He said taking another step toward me.

  I took another step back. “I’m not hurt…” I started to say again, but he cut me off.

  “I know, you’re angry. They’re kind of the same thing though, Kensie.” He said taking another step toward me and I remained still. “You’re angry because me being with another girl today hurt you.” He said taking advantage of my immobile stance and moved another step closer until he was in front of me. “I’m sorry.” He said lifting his hand to me, but then pulled it away before he made contact. My cheek cooled in rejection.

  “It’s no big deal.” I shrugged, but I knew I didn’t fool him. He was right. I was livid because I was hurt. It hurt to know that he was spending the same kind of time with someone else that he had spent with me. What was a huge step for me became devalued in that voicemail.

  He cocked his head to the side and watched me. Closely. Under the white glow from the moonlight his brown eyes had a molten quality to them. I fidgeted under the intensity of his stare and looked away from the heat searing between us.

  “Fuck it.” He said before his hands were on me gripping my waist and his lips smashed into mine. My breath hitched in my chest, but my body was paralyzed by his touch. His hands yanked me into him breaking me from my shock and punching me with desire.

  I opened my mouth to him in a moan and he didn’t waist a second invading my mouth with his tongue. I met his immediately, and lifted my once limp hands around his shoulders pulling myself further into him. Our tongues tangled wildly, our mouths moving roughly against each other.

  This kiss was all lust, passion, and pent up desire relishing its release. I couldn’t get enough of him, of his mouth against me, of his taste in me. He devoured me.

  The urgency wrapped between us was almost too much to take. I rose up on my toes to align the center of my body with his, but he was too tall. I lifted one leg and wrapped it around his waist digging my heel into him. August growled and wrapped his hands around my thighs turning us towards the ground until I was under him in the sand never breaking away from the frenzied kiss.

  I welcomed the cool sand against my heated skin and released his mouth to suck in a breath of fresh air. August’s lips never left mine, simply hovering over my lips. The atmosphere surrounding us stilled silencing the waves and muting the stars. The only thing I smelled was the hint of mint on August’s breath. The only sound was the mingling of our panting and heavy breaths. The only thing I felt was the soft, teasing passes he made against my swollen lips with his own. Brushing, nipping, pulling.

  The distant sounds of the party seeped in and out with each breath I took against him. Slowly, the sound began to build until a loud cheer came from far off sucking me out of that kiss and tossing me back into reality. I huffed in a deep breath and wiggled under August until he pulled away and sat up onto his knees above me. He squinted at me under the moonlight and his hair was disheveled. Adorable.

  I sighed at sat up brushing the sand from my hair. August fell back onto to sand. “Wow.” He said running his hand through his hair.

  “Wow.” I nodded agreeing with him. We sat together, quietly, and oddly enough comfortably.

  He nodded down towards the space in the sand next to me. “Can I? I want to explain something to you.” I laughed at that. I’d just let him practically eat my face and he was asking to sit next to me.

  I nodded and pat the sand. I could continue to pretend I didn’t care, but the truth was, after that kiss, nothing was the same. That kiss changed everything, and I needed some answers. If he was the kind of guy that dated multiple girls at once, I wanted to know, because if that was the case I’d need to step away for good. “So tell me. Who were you with today?”

  “I was with a friend. I’ve known her forever, and we are just friends. What you probably heard on the voicemail today was me giving her a ride home from her job. She doesn’t have a car right now, so she occasionally calls me to give her a ride home. What you also probably heard was the conversation on the way to her apartment where I told her all about a beautiful, smart, sweet, funny, strong woman that I had just met and was crazy about.” He paused waiting for me to reply. “Is that crazy?” He asked.

  “Which part? This new girl in your life, or that you are telling me about her?” I couldn’t help it. I was not amused by this confession.

  August tilted his head back in a laugh. When he looked back at me his the moonlight caught his eyes in an angle the reflected his humor back into the night. “I’m talking about you. You’re the one I’ve been crazy over. Ever since your pretty little self walked into Wes’s tattoo shop. I thought I would have had to stalk the shop day and night waiting for you to come back in again so I could ask you out. I haven’t been able to get you off of my mind. When I’m not with you, I think about being with you, and when I am with you, I think about how great it is to be with you.”

  “Me?” I squeaked holding my hand up to my chest.

  He nodded and shifted in the sand so that he was facing me with his knees bent up.

  “So, okay, wait. Me?” I asked again trying to see through my fog of confusion. It was pretty dense though. Or maybe I was the dense one.

  “Yes you, jeezus. It takes everything in me just to keep my hands to myself when I’m around you.” I could relate. It took everything in me just to avoid his hands when I was around him.

  “Do you wonder if it’s just physical though?” I asked truly curious. I’d wondered the same thing myself, but the more time I spent with August the more I saw that the physical was just a doorway to a deeper connection I felt with him. I worried he wasn’t feeling the same.

  “That wasn’
t just physical.” He said gesturing to the disturbed blanket of sand around us. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay, it was very physical, but there was more to it. I didn’t just kiss you because I wanted too. I kissed you because I needed too. Because, something in me is so enraptured by you that I have to have you.”

  Okay, that was good. So good I couldn’t figure out how to respond, but thankfully he kept talking.

  He took both of my hands in his. “Kensie, I’m going to be honest here. I haven’t done this in a really, really long time. I’m not a fuck around kind of guy, but I am definitely rusty in what to do here. I’d like to spend more time with you, see where this goes.”

  “You would?” I was shocked. Hearing those words fall from his lips filled me so completely with happiness, there was no room for hesitation. I wanted this too. I was scared, I was nervous, but I was one hundred percent positive that I wanted to explore our connection.

  “Yeah. I would.” He smiled hopefully, and almost vulnerably squeezing my hands in his.

  A small smile crept across my face. August saw this as a good sign and let out a breath I didn’t know he had been holding. “Whattaya think? Should we date, see where things go?” He asked as he brought one hand up to stroke my cheek with his thumb.

  “It’s only going to be me, right?” I had to makes sure August’s definition of dating matched my own.

  “It’s only ever been you. I just didn’t know until I met you.” The words were sweet and a bit slick, but I believed every syllable of the statement. I had to because I felt the exact way.

  Chapter 9

  I hate economics. I don’t even know why I’m still in this class. I had the brilliant idea of signing up for it at the last minute in the beginning of the semester. I remember watching a show on TV one night where people pitched these ridiculous and yet so very necessary inventions to investors. Right then and there, I decided that I needed to be an entrepreneur and make millions on one idea alone. Never mind that I had no experience in anything business related, or that I was lacking the drive to start my own business. Now, I am kicking myself and lost in a haze of production, consumptions, and all things that make me want to bang my head into my tiny lecture hall desk.