The beat of the music started and my eyes attached themselves to Kensie’s hips moving slightly with it. She whipped around suddenly and the look on her face was fierce. The nervous unsure girl, who was just smiling sweetly at me a few minutes ago, was now a confidant force to be reckoned with. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as she popped her shoulders to the beat. Beyoncé’ was singing something about girls being in charge, and I believed it. I believed it because Kensie did, and it was written all over her body. I had never in my life seen anything sexier than when Kensie danced.
I’m so happy I let Wes talk me into going to Tommy’s that night to get my mind off of things. When we found Capri at the bar with none other than the little firecracker Kensie had been with earlier that day at the shop, I was convinced this girl was worth my time. The look on Lennon’s face when she saw Wes told me I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t get over our meeting.
I remember Lennon didn’t even say anything to me, just laughed loudly and walked over grabbing my arms to point me into the direction of the dance floor.
Then I saw her, hair flipping around and her arms above her head. Time slowed down as if to allow me this moment to focus on the girl who would steal my heart before I was ready to give it away. I was blown away how beautiful she was, completely lost in the moment. She danced with a frustration and a longing that I knew all too well. It was like she was dancing for me. Then, some meathead walked up behind her and pulled her into him.
Without thinking I made a move to march out there and yank him off of her, but Lennon stopped me by grabbing my arm. I looked at her both confused, but when she nodded towards the dance floor I saw what she meant.
Kensie had kindly danced away from the jackass, and began to head back toward the bar. She looked up and smiled when she recognized Lennon and Capri. Then she saw me, and that smile fell from her face. I saw her glow pink and my heart picked up its pace. I smirked while taking a sip of my beer. That was the moment I knew I had her, and she had me.
With the music blaring, Kensie dropped on her knees and moved in way I hoped she’d show me in private later on. I felt Jordan’s hand close my jaw that apparently had fallen open. Oh god, now she’s lying down. Shit, did she just thrust? Fuck yeah, she thrusted.
I jumped from my seat and ran out of the gym without looking back, and I heard the boys whooping at me from behind. I felt bad leaving in the middle of her performance, but no way could I sit there and harmlessly watch that. Next time I watch one of these, I need to make sure she is wearing a potato sack and only spinning in slow circles. Who was I kidding, Kensie would look gorgeous in a potato sack and my horny ass would be trying to catch a peek of what was underneath.
* * *
Kensie found me a few minutes later sitting against the wall in the hallway. I had calmed down for the most part.
“Hey,” she smiled and kicked my feet standing in front of me.
“Hey, pretty girl.” I said and smiled back. At the risk of sounds like a pussy, I think I’d smiled more in the last few weeks than I had in the last few years. She did that. She brought my smile back.
“So…” She trailed off and tied her hair behind her head, “What did you think?” She asked looking nervous. She was adorable.
“I thought it was great,” I said grabbing her hand and pulling her to sit down next to me.
“I saw you rush out of there pretty quickly. I wasn’t sure you liked it.” She bit the inside of her cheek and I chuckled to myself.
“Liked it? Oh, I liked it. A little too much,” I said and pointed to my lap making her form a little o with her lips. “Too much. I needed a little breathing room, but it was great. I can’t believe those girls actually complied enough to make a whole dance. I didn’t think they did anything other than giggle at the guys and complain.”
She laughed at that. “Well, that’s still what they do,” she said, “but I am pretty proud.” Her smile beamed at me and I forgot to breathe. I reached my hand up and ran my thumb across her lips. “You should be. I am.” I whispered and leaned in to kiss her.
She tasted like salvation. That was the only way I could describe what I felt every time our lips met. When I kissed her I tasted hope, forgiveness, promise, even love.
She hadn’t told me she loved me yet, but I knew she did. I felt it in her kiss, and in her gaze. When I told her I loved her, I meant it. I think I’d loved her long before that, but right then in that empty field I saw things so clearly. I saw how I had fallen completely in love with Kensie, and if there is anything I had learned in life it’s that you always make sure the people you love know it. So I told her, and I became free. Saved.
I didn’t expect her to say it back, and I am kind of happy she didn’t. Kensie has had so many people she loved abuse it, and not appreciate it. It’s a good thing I hadn’t met her dad yet because I’d have a few words with him. I couldn’t imagine doing that… I couldn’t imagine.
That bullshit with that asshole Nolan and all of his friends had me beyond pissed. When she told me about how they took advantage of her when she was trying to just hang on. I almost lost it. I have never been a violent person, but hearing that someone abused my girl made me want to beat the shit out of ‘em. In fact, if I ever come across any of ‘em, I probably will. There is no doubt she had some real pricks in her life. I know she’s scared, but I hope she sees that falling in love me would be a gift to me, and not a risk for her.
When Kensie pulled away from my kiss she was flushed as usual. That made me grin. I’m not gonna lie. Knowing I could make her like that from just a kiss was a pretty good boost to my confidence. “So, I was actually thinking.” She started and I felt nerves buzz with excitement. Please say you want me to take your clothes off, please, please, please. “I think I really like working with the kids.” Oh. “I went to talk with my academic counselor the other day and we discussed changing my major to Adolescent Psychology.” She waited and looked at me expectantly. I could tell she was excited about this, it was written all over her face, but she wanted my approval.
I didn’t know if I was glad my opinion mattered so much to her, or disappointed that she might have thought I wouldn’t be supportive. “That’s perfect for you,” I said and couldn’t contain the grin that filled my face. “Perfect.” I said and she breathed a sigh of relief.
“Yeah?” She asked still hesitant.
“Yeah Kensie, completely. You are a natural at working with these kids, and I can tell you love it. I think it’s a perfect choice for you.”
“Yeah,“ she said more confidently this time, “yeah, I think it is too.” She started to giggle and her laugh was so contagious I found myself chuckling along. “I’m excited,” she said. “I get to do this forever.” Suddenly I had visions of watching Kensie on the stage like I had just witnessed forever. I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned my head back against the wall and groaned. I couldn’t take it. “What?” She asked still smiling.
“I’m going to have to learn to work with blue balls, aren’t I?” I opened one eye and peaked over at her. To say she was glowing would be an understatement. She was radiating and I was happy to bask in it. In fact, I couldn’t get enough. I’m not sure I ever would. She shoved me in the arm and her giggling picked up again. “Dancing with the girls was a one-time thing.” Well damn.
Chapter 20
Kensie
Well, the kids even ate all of the cupcakes I made, and didn’t complain about any extras in the batter. August and I stood off to the side of the gym most of the night monitoring the dance floor. We wanted the kids to have fun, but not too much fun. Any dancing that looked like it could produce off spring was quickly broken up.
I glanced around all the happy faces the filled the room and smiled softly to myself. This was where I was supposed to be. With the kids, making them smile, with August who always made me smile, with my amazing best friends, my mom, and I couldn’t forget my newest surprise friend Wes. Even John had wiggled his way into my heart and had beco
me a great role model and source of support for me. Things were really falling into place. The one missing piece, I’d be spending Thanksgiving with tomorrow.
I was a nervous wreck about seeing my dad. I had tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable that my worry seeped into the quiet moments like right now. August noticed the change in my demeanor instantly. I felt him touch my elbow, “You okay?” He asked and I nodded my head biting the inside of my cheek. He smiled sympathetically at me, “Come with me.” He turned and headed for the gym doors. I followed him into my dance room where he waited for me to go in before closing the door behind us.
“I thought you said you couldn’t handle any more of my dancing?” I teased him, but sounded unsteady.
“Ha, ha, funny girl.” He motioned me to follow him to sit against the mirrors. I slid down and sat so closely too him our sides touched. “You nervous about tomorrow?” He asked and brushed a loose strand of hair out of my face.
I inhaled deeply, “Yeah, so nervous.” I’m not sure why I was so worried. Not much could go wrong that I hadn’t already dealt with. “I just feel like I’m in such a good place right now, and really happy. I don’t want seeing my dad to affect it.” August nodded, understanding. I was feeling protective over my new life and I didn’t want my dad’s nonchalance towards me to infiltrate my bliss.
“I hope it goes well Kensie, I really do, but if it doesn’t, know that I am here for you, that we all are here for you.” He said and reached under him to pull something from his pocket. He handed me a folded piece of paper but stopped me when I tried to open it. “Not yet,” he said, “I don’t want you to open until you feel like you need me. Since you won’t let me go with you.” I rolled my eyes at that. He asked, no begged to come with me to my dad’s house, but I insisted I go alone. I appreciated his support, and loved his desire to be there for me, but I had to do it on my own. He seemed to understand that, but didn’t like it.
“I want you to have a piece of my with you, so I wrote you this. It’s not nearly as tall, sexy, or charming, but I think it will do.” I laughed at that and leaned over to hug him. I melted into him and sighed when he nuzzled into my neck. While his kisses set me on fire his hugs put me at peace. “I love you.” He whispered into my hair and my heart trembled. I love you, too.
* * *
I pulled up to my dad’s large colonial home in a quaint little neighborhood. It was a beautiful place, huge with an open floor plan, but it never felt as inviting as the tiny bungalow my mom and I had shared growing up.
I called my mom that morning to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving and catch up before I left. She reassured me that everything would be fine today, and that I was always welcome to go with her to my grandmother’s house if I changed my mind. I had to go though. A small part of me hoped that the upswing my life had been on would filter into my relationship with my dad, and that maybe we could begin to repair it.
I sat in the car and looked at the red painted door trying to steady my shaky breathing. I reached over to the passenger’s seat to grab a side dish when I remembered Jodie had told me not to bring anything. I looked behind the seat to pick up my purse, but realized I only brought my wallet. So, I turned forward and tapped my fingers on the steering wheel. I needed something to carry in. My empty hands were suddenly making me feel very alone.
I opened my center console looking for a mint when I saw the folded up note August had given me. I plucked it out and held it in front of me. He told me to open it if I needed him, but I hadn’t even walked in yet. I had more courage than this. I took a deep breath and tucked the note into my pocket. I wished he was here, but I didn’t need him. I could do it on my own. I climbed out of my car and nervously approached the house.
I took another deep breath, though shaky this time, and lifted my arm to knock on the door. Sad, but I was knocking on my own father’s door. I didn’t even feel comfortable enough walking in. I shook my head and knocked once before the door flew open.
“Happy Thanksgiving!” Jodie cheered wiping her hands on her apron. “Come in sweetie, come in. Dave, Kensington’s here!” She hollered in the direction of the living room. I didn’t even get two feet into the house before she pulled me into a tight squeeze. “We’re so glad you could come.” I pulled away feeling a little awkward with her display of affection.
“Thanks. Thank you for inviting me.“ I said, and my heart tinged briefly remembering the family reunion I hadn’t been invited too.
“Sweetie, of course,” she said smiling at me, “and don’t you look beautiful.” I forced a smile and brushed my hands down my sweater dress.
“Kensington.” My dad’s voice boomed as he strode in from the living room, but he stopped in the entryway. “You look beautiful, kiddo.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Was all I managed to say and the tiny tiled entry way fell silent. God, it was uncomfortable.
“Well,” he continued, “Parker and I are watching football, but I’m sure Jodie and Bethy could use some help in the kitchen.” He said looking towards his wife and she nodded brightly.
“We’d love some help. C’mon in.” Jodie motioned for me to follow her. My dad smiled and walked back into the living room where I heard Parker yelling something at the television.
I followed Jodie and tried to shake of the disappointment of being dismissed to the kitchen to help with dinner. On the way here, I had daydreamed about my dad swooping me up in a hug and leading me into the living room to sit together on the couch and catch up on what we’ve missed with each other. Wes was right though; I had a really great imagination.
Bethany was perched up on one of the stools at the center island rolling out the piecrust when I walked in behind Jodie. “Happy Thanksgiving, Kensie.” She smiled at me. It was so hard to hate my dad’s new family when they were all so genuinely nice.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” I said and smiled back. “I like your sweater.” I said and pointed to her gray wrap around that looked great with her smoky blue eyes.
“Thank you.” She said brightly.
“Come on over here Kensington and we will get you to work on the green bean casserole,” Jodie said, and I walked over to the opposite side of the island from Bethany. Jodie put all the ingredients on the counter in front of me and I got to work throwing it all together. It wasn’t hard to make, so I got the feeling Jodie was just trying to find something for me to do. I was thankful for having something in my hands though. It made me feel like I had a purpose there after all.
“So, are you dating anyone new?” Bethany asked me filling the piecrust with cinnamon scented apples. I laughed at how straightforward she was, but she had always been that way. Anytime I saw her, the first and last thing, well, the only thing she ever wanted to talk about was a guy.
She was two years younger than me, and far more boy crazy than I had ever been. Though, I’m sure I had more experience than she had. Her passion for guys was very innocent, mine had been very…sad. Things had shifted for me lately though. I thought about August and his family working together at the women’s shelter. Maybe next year I could go with them.
“Oh you’re smiling, there is a guy.” Bethany said excitedly and put the bowl of apples down. “Tell me,” she said leaning placing her elbows on the island and resting her head in her hands. The hearts in her eyes glowed at me from across the counter. She had seen too many Disney movies as a kid. Hell, she probably still watched them.
“Yes, sweetie,” Jodie said standing next to Bethany now, “ any guy that makes you’re face light up like that is worth gushing over.” I couldn’t disagree with them there. August was gush worthy.
I began to fill them in on how he and I had met and all of the coincidences that led to us getting together. I told them all about how amazing he was and how perfect we are for each other, but I spared the details about my struggle to trust him, or myself. I felt more at home in that house than I ever had when I was talking about August.
“He’s a lucky guy.” Jodie said smiling a
t me and patting my hand before getting back to her cooking. She had that all wrong. I was the lucky one.
* * *
After spending the majority of the afternoon in the kitchen with Jodie and Bethany, we all finally sat down for and early dinner. My dad took the seat at the head of the table with Parker and Bethany flanking him on either side. I sat down at the opposite end across from Jodie. We bowed our heads while Parker said a quick and to the point Grace before we each grabbed at the dishes.
We helped ourselves and passed the bowls around the table between ourselves. I was scooping the mashed potatoes onto my plate when my dad spoke up from down at his end of the table, “So kiddo, what have you been busy with lately?” I stopped and looked at him with the heaping scoop of potatoes half way between the bowl and my plate. It was the first thing he had said directly to me since walking through the door and it caught me off guard.
“Ummm,” I said before I felt the potatoes slip from the spoon and land in a messy lump on the table, “Oh crap, I’m sorry Jodie.” I said and scooped them onto my plate with my spoon like a kid in a sand box. She smiled and shook her head at me letting me know it wasn’t a big deal. While I was scooping I was trying to come up with something substantial to say to my dad. I wanted to say something that he would be interested in, or proud of. “Ummm, well, I just changed my major to Adolescent Psychology.” I said shuffling the potatoes around on my plate now too nervous to eat.
“Hmm,” he mumbled while chewing, “but you’re a junior right? Shouldn’t that have been decided a while ago?” His questioned scraped a little piece of my heart off.
“Yeah,” I said loudly and awkwardly trying to sound confident, but I only made Bethany startle next to me, “but I’ve had some trouble figuring out what exactly I want to do, so I’ve just now figured it out.” How did I go from telling August about this enthusiastically yesterday to telling my dad about it now like it was embarrassing?
Truth In Wildflowers Page 21
