Truth In Wildflowers

by Kimberly Rose

  “As much as that hurt,” I said, watching the streetlights pass by, “I think the worst part was when he gave Bethany our tradition, even down to the same words. I foolishly thought those words were reserved just for me. I thought they were special.” Now he was the one rubbing my knee in comfort, “Even with an emotional separation that could rival the Grand Canyon, I’ve still held onto those memories. I’ve kept them in a place where they are untouched by the pain and bitterness I battle with. Now, he’s sabotaged those too. He won’t even let me have those.”

  “He’s the one who will lose out, Kensie.” August took his eyes off the road and looked at me earnestly, “One day he will realize all he’s missed out on, and there won’t be anyone to blame but himself.” I smiled a weak smile at him. He was probably right. There might be a day when my dad sees the error of his ways, but I wasn’t going to put myself through the pain anymore. I was making a choice for myself and for my future to not put myself in the position to be hurt by him. It seemed as though I had already been phased out of the family, but now I was making the choice to bow out.

  August stopped by my dorm on the way to his place so I could run up and throw together an overnight bag. Once we got to his house, he directed me to take a shower and relax while he ran out to go pick something up for us to eat. Bossy.

  On my way down the hall, I paused outside the yellow room where I was going to put my things. Just as I touched the doorknob to go in, I changed directions and went to August’s room instead. I tossed my bag on the floor next to his bed and looked around. I thought briefly about snooping through his room, like we did in his bathroom, but without Lennon there to egg me on, I didn’t have to gumption to follow through. Instead I wondered around and took in what was on display.

  His room was actually quite simple with pale grey walls and dark blue bedding. He only had two pillows on the bed, which told me he must have decorated it himself. If Capri had a hand in this room, there would certainly be an obscene amount of pillows stretching out to the middle of the bed.

  He had a wooden dresser with some loose change scattered across the top. His converse lied tossed by the side of the bed and a basketball was in a corner.

  A picture hanging on the wall next to his window caught my eye. I walked up to it to get a better look. It was a simple sketch of a man sitting at a table holding a bouquet of flowers. What really caught my attention were the words scribbled on the picture. There was a haunting quote about someone always having place here when they are gone, and Keaton Henson signed it.

  It seemed a little morbid, but I guess when someone you admire creates art, you aren’t picky about what it’s of. Dave Matthews could color a picture of a blade of grass and I’d proudly display it in my house.

  I tossed my bag onto his bed and pulled out my comfy clothes. I usually slept in my boy short underwear, but tonight when I threw my stuff together, I thought twice. I pulled out a lacey pink thong along with my grey sweats and a fitted white t-shirt before heading back down the hall to the bathroom.

  I was stripped down and in that steaming shower faster than it took my dorm one to even heat up. I leaned over tipping my head under the showerhead and moaned in satisfaction. Through the noise of the steady spray plodding on my head, I heard a deep voice in the house. I thought briefly about telling him I was in here, but I’m sure he would figure it out. I had, after all, began sighing and groaning obscenely as my muscles relaxed.

  I heard the door to the bathroom click open and a stifled cough. “This shower feels amazing. It’s just what I needed after tonight.” I told him moaning in approval when his shadowed stopped outside the pixelated shower door.

  “Ya know, Kensie, we really need to stop meeting in these situations.” He spoke and I screamed covering all the important parts even though he couldn’t see in.

  “Wes! Get out.” I demanded, but he continued on like he didn’t hear me.

  “First you proposition me with mints, and now you’re pleasuring yourself in the shower. I’m not complaining, but I’m telling you August would kill me.”

  I turned around and squished myself into the corner of the stall. His voice alone was obtrusive enough. “Get. Out.” I said again getting a chuckle out of him.

  “Relax Kensie, I’m not here to see your goodies, I thought August was in here too. He asked me to stop by.”

  “Wait,” I turned and looked at his figure still standing outside the door. “You thought August was in here with me, and you still thought it was a good idea to come in?” I knew they were close, but this was ridiculous. It was silent long enough that if I didn’t still see him standing there I would have thought he left.

  “That is kinda weird, huh?” He asked contemplatively and I silently nodded my head.

  “Sorry Kensie,” he said as his figure retreated away from my door, “next time I’ll make sure August’s alone.” I heard the door click shut.

  I finished up my shower quickly and shook my hair dry with my fingers before slipping on my pajama boxers and tank top. A chill night with August on the couch watching a movie was exactly what I needed tonight, but it was obvious that was not happening when I walked into the kitchen and saw Wes leaning against the cabinet texting on his phone.

  He nodded at the table, “Brought the goods.” About ten liters of Coke and a giant pile of king sized candy bars sat on the kitchen table. Before I could ask why it looked like he robbed a gas station a loud pounding reverberated through the house from the front door.

  I peeked through the peephole and saw a mop of bright red. The second I unlocked the door Lennon pushed herself into the house with her little arms overflowing in bags of chips and peanuts. “Is there a sale at AM PM?” I asked trying to help her catch the bags that were falling from her arms when Wes swooped in and took the junk food from the both of us carrying it all into the kitchen.

  “Ha, you try to find a place to get food on Thanksgiving night.”

  “What?” I asked her completely confused about what was going on here.

  “Ask your lover,” she said patting me on the shoulder before making her way into the kitchen with Wes. “He’s a very convincing man.” She yelled at me from behind her before I heard her scolding Wes for already opening a Snickers.

  I shook my head trying to make sense of our two friends sitting in the kitchen with a pile of gas station junk food when I heard the doorknob jiggle again. I turned in time to see Capri breeze in with a tray of coffee and a bright smile on her face. “Happy Thanksgiving.” She said coming towards me, but was quickly interceded by Wes taking the coffee out of her hands.

  She stammered a thank you to him and then came up to give me a hug. “What’s going on?” I asked her still squished in her embrace. That’s when I heard the front door click shut. Capri pulled away and smiled at August who had just walked in with a bag of gummy bears. I had to raise my eyebrow at that making him laugh.

  “Just hanging out.” August said looking a little unsure.

  “Oh please,” I heard Lennon yell from within the kitchen. “He called me and told me that if I didn’t show up here in thirty minutes with something to eat that he would replace my Austin Carlisle poster with giant pictures of Wes while I slept.” I looked at August in confusion.

  “Damn,” Wes said in the kitchen, “now, that’s a good morning.” I heard a smack followed by a grunt.

  “He called up all of us and asked to meet you here for Thanksgiving Dinner.” Capri grinned at me and then touched my arm as she walked passed me into the kitchen. I looked up at August who raised his eyebrows in a grin at me.

  “You called them?” I asked

  “ Yeah.” He looked down and shuffled his feet.

  “And asked them to bring some of my favorite junk food?” Was he real?

  “Yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders and peered up at me bashfully.

  “Why?” I knew he and Capri already celebrated their Thanksgiving with his parents, and Lennon said she was going to her uncle’s house. I c
ouldn’t wrap my mind around them coming here.

  August shrugged his shoulders again. “I wanted you to have a nice Thanksgiving, with people who love you and want to be with you.” I lowered my eyes and felt my heart swell to proportions that I couldn’t contain. It overflowed with gratitude and love for these people, for August. It poured out of the corners of my eyes and streamed down my face. I couldn’t look up at him yet though, I was too consumed in the feeling. He took the chance to keep talking,

  “If it’s too much Kensie, I can ask them to go home. I know you’ve had an overwhelming day,” he sounded apologetic, but I couldn’t find the words to tell him this was okay. This was amazing, and he was amazing, “I just wanted to try and show you how special you are to me, and to all of us.”

  I looked up at August when he took the few steps bringing us face to face. I smiled through my tears, and he let out small chuckle with his own breathtaking grin. He placed his hands on either side of my face and stroked my tear-streaked cheeks with his thumbs. “You good?” he asked quietly. “For a minute I thought you were mad at me.”

  I shook my head. “I love you.” I told him and there wasn’t a shred of doubt within me. I loved him something fierce. In this moment seeing the lengths he went to just to make me happy, and the fortress of support he built around me when I had crumbled; there wasn’t anything I was afraid of anymore. I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell him in the first place, but spending the afternoon with my dad made me realize that I was a different person now than I was back then. I was stronger and wiser, and because of that I knew the love I had for August was one that I could count on, and one I could trust.

  August pulled my face to him and kissed me senseless. Somewhere between my pounding heart, August’s lips, and my hands gripping the front of his shirt in my fists, I heard cheering in the kitchen.

  I giggled into his kiss and he pulled away looking down on me with such those chocolaty brown eyes and puffy lips. He smiled so wide his eyes crinkled in the corners in the way that I loved. “‘Bout time.” He teased me and I shoved him pushing on his chest laughing. “I love you, Kensie.” He said grabbing my hand back and pulling me in for one more kiss.

  “Can we eat yet?” Wes yelled form the kitchen, “I’m starving.” he whined.

  August looked at me and rolled his eyes, “Wes, didn’t you eat at your mom’s today?”

  “Yeah, like three hours ago, dude. I’m a growing boy.” That made be burst out in a laugh and August led me into the kitchen by the hand. What followed next was the best Thanksgiving dinner I have ever had. I was surrounded my best friends, old and new, and eating all of my favorite junk food. We laughed and joked around and even fit in a game of truth or dare that ended with Wes getting covered in a whipped cream bikini, or whip-kini as he called it. He really needed to work on specifying who had to do what.

  At one point, Capri had gotten up to take a call from Tanner. She said he was spending the weekend at his parent’s house. Wes kept squirming around and leaning back in his seat trying to eavesdrop on her conversation in the living room. Lennon winked at me seconds before she kicked Wes’s chair mid-lean sending him falling backwards onto the floor.

  August and I couldn’t contain the fits of laughter, when Wes got up and brushed himself off like nothing had happened. “She won’t be with him forever.” Lennon reassured him and he scoffed at her taking his place back at the table. “Just looking out for her, right Augustus? We keep an eye on Capri.” He nodded towards August who looked at him perplexed. “Sure buddy,” and he rubbed my knee under the table.

  Not long after Capri rejoined the group, we decided to call it a night. Wes was the first to leave, surprisingly, telling the girls that August and I needed some alone time and not to overstay their welcome. That elicited a groan of disgust from Capri who followed his exit.

  Lennon hung around a bit longer helping me clean up the trash left over from our feast while August showered, but left soon after before he was even out. She gave me a quick hug telling me how happy she was for me sincerely followed by “now go get your groove back,” and a swat on the butt.

  Chapter 22

  I was picking up the last of the trash when August came in from behind me and wrapped me in his arms. I sighed into him and tilted my neck so he could kiss me. “Did you have a good Thanksgiving?” He asked me.

  “I did, the best.” I told him and turned around in his arms to look up at him. “Thank you.” I said earnestly and leaned in to kiss him, but he stopped me holding his finger up in between our lips.

  “One more thing.” He said and walked over to one of the bags he brought in when he got home with Capri, “Here it is.” He turned and came towards me.

  “A donut?” I asked.

  “There’s not much left at a gas station at seven o’clock at night on Thanksgiving.” he shrugged. “Here take one end,” he instructed me and I did as he said while he held the other end feeling my bottom lip wobble when I realized what he was doing. “Luck is for pussies,” he said and my wobbling lip burst out in a laugh, “we make our own happiness.” With that we pulled apart the donut and each took a bite.

  I smiled up at August’s powder covered mouth and knew this was happiness that we were making. No amount of luck could create this. Fate? Sure, I think we were meant to find each other, but it was up to us to make it happen. I was going to continue making happiness with him, forever.

  “I say this should be our new tradition, “ I mumbled around my donut. He nodded his head and swallowed his, “The first of many.”

  August sat back down in one of the kitchen chairs. He was so tall, the way his legs sprawled out across the floor almost took up the entire kitchen space. He stretched his arms above his head and held them there watching me wash the powder from off of my hands. I peeked over and eyed him, heat flooding my cheeks.

  “Come here.” He said holding out an arm to me.

  I dried my hands off and put one in his letting him pull me toward him. “I need you closer.” His voice sounded raspy and he grabbed my other hand pulling me down to straddle him on the chair. When my body connected with his, I gasped at the immediate tremble it caused within me.

  He lifted a hand and ran it softly down the side of my face. My eyes fluttered closed and my body pulled toward his hand magnetically. He continued brushing his hand down my jaw line and to my neck. When his hand kept going I opened my eyes to see his watching the journey of his hand. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered to me, but was fixated on his hand as it descended to the outline of my chest. His fingers trickled over it sending a shiver through me that ended where our bodies were touching.

  His fingernails grazed the rest of the way until he held my hip firmly in his hand. I was so transfixed on the feel of him, that I hadn’t spoken a word. Though physically, I was saying so much more than I could ever voice. He looked up into my eyes then. The ache in his caused a throb in me so powerful I thought we may not even make it much further.

  “Say something.” He told me bringing his lips so close to mine I could feel him breathe in me.

  “Yes.” I whispered back.

  In one motion, August stood up with me still attached to his waist. He held me tight to him with his hands gripping under me. Fluttered kisses along my neck had me dropping my head reflexively to the side to give him better access.

  He placed me on the edge of his bed when we got to his room and I looked up at this amazing man, my everything. He was my hero, my partner, my joy, and my love. He was more than I could ever define. August was my one.

  “God Kensie, you’re gorgeous.” He ran his hand through his hair as if he was nervous. “I’ve thought about this moment since I met you.” He knelt down on the floor in front of me taking one of my bare feet into his hands.

  “So, you’ve only ever wanted in my pants?” I asked, far more nervous than he could possibly be.

  “Your pants are just an obstacle in the way of where I want to be.” He grinned up at me, but wi
thout the usual sparkle in his eyes. This time his grin was lazy and his eyes held an intensity that sent a welcome shiver through my body. It coincidently began at the place on my inner foot he’d just brushed his lips against.

  “But to answer your question, no.” He placed a wet kiss on my ankle before trailing his dampened kisses up my calf. “I’ve wanted into your mind, kiss I’ve wanted into your heart, kiss I’ve wanted into your soul, kiss and I’ve wanted to be buried between your legs.” kiss

  With his head tilted, he lingered the last kiss behind my knee and slipped his warm tongue across my sensitive skin behind it. A direct current ran from that spot to the place between my legs that ached in anticipation.

  “Oh.” Fell from my lips a bit breathless and unrestrained. I heard him chuckle lowly, completely aware of what he was doing to me. The vibrations of the laugh that first got my attention only added to my need. I reached down to the hem of my dress to pull it off when his hand came over mine to stop me.

  “Uh, uh.” He said removing my hand from my dress. “I’m taking my time. I’m going to kiss every inch of this body I’ve been dying to take. Don’t rob me of that.” His hands grabbed onto my dress in the same place mine had just been evicted from and pushed it up around my thighs.

  He brushed his rough hand down my thighs away from where I wanted them causing a small, uncontrolled whimper to escape my lips. When his hands reached my knees he gently pushed my legs apart and ran those teasing hands along my inner thighs adding a shudder to my second whimper.

  He brushed them slowly up under my dress and gripped each of his hands around the uppermost part of my thighs. So close I could feel the heat of his hands through my lace underwear. So close, that when I shifted slightly to the right his knuckles graced torturously close to where I needed him.