The Art of Moving On (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Sarah Raymond

  Though she had been through so much pain and anguish over the last year, and her body was so emaciated it looked as though she had been held captive for a time, she still managed to keep the gray out of her hair, which was a relief. She had always dreaded the day that her lovely dark hair would begin to lose its color, but now she was re-thinking the idea. If this amazingly handsome man before her could sport gray and still look good, maybe there was hope for her yet.

  When he stood directly in front of her table, Casey continued to study his outward appearance, though she was aware that he had said something to her. Pulling herself out of her awkward gaze upon his body, the world inside the little pub began to turn again. The people began moving, and it was no longer just the two of them. As the silence began to dissipate, Casey said, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  “I said, hello, me name is Conor M’Cullagh. And your name is?” said the gorgeous man before her. His voice was deep and bellowy, and she could not help but to melt at his accent. She figured by the name that the man must be from somewhere in Ireland. Is this real life? she had to ask herself. Casey realized at once that this was, in fact, real life, and if she did not want this God-like creature to think she was utterly brain-damaged, she needed to get her name out, quick!

  “My name is Casey Bak—Dwyer. Casey Dwyer,” she said as she looked down at her ring finger. She caught herself just in time, and was surprised that she held her cool. She was no longer, and would never again, be called by the last name Baker. She was once again Casey Dwyer, and though it had been so for a year, it had not registered until now. As she shook off the impending sadness, and looked up at the man once more, she flashed the widest smile she could gather.

  “Well, Ms. Casey Dwyer, would it be too much trouble if I sat with ya for a while? I noticed ya at Rosco’s a few weeks back, and I just have to tell ya that I find ya to be the most beautiful creature ever to grace God’s green earth.”

  God, that voice. Casey nodded, sure that her cheeks turned from pale to bright red in a matter of seconds. As he sat, Casey felt that she was blushing in other places than just her face. This magnificent man was sitting with her, at her lonely table in this small, unfamiliar pub, and he had just paid her an outstanding compliment. Though she felt at a complete loss for words, her body was screaming. Her lust for this man, as well as her speechlessness, must have been written all over her face.

  “I didn’t embarrass ya by sayin' that, did I, love?” he asked.

  “No, of course not. I’m sorry,” she said. “I have just never had a man say anything like that to me out of the blue before. I was caught off guard. Thank you, though.” She smiled, and Conor eased. It was almost as if he was just as nervous to talk to her as she was him.

  “Good,” he said. “It wasn’t my intention to come off as a complete arse, but I just had to tell ya.”

  To make them both feel more at ease, Casey decided to begin the conversation, though it went against everything in her nature to do so. She could tell that the man was confident. How could he not be? He was a God in a layman’s body. She wanted him to find her confident as well.

  “Your accent is beautiful,” she said. “Where are you from?”

  “Ireland. I come from a farm in County Cork,” he replied. “I came Stateside for college. Been here ever since. Ya ever been to Ireland before?”

  “No,” she said, “but my great-great-grandfather was born there. I am not sure exactly where, though,” she replied.

  “I figured as much by your last name. And how is it ya came to be in Massachusetts? I can tell by the accent that ya are not from ‘round here, either,” he said.

  “I am originally from Texas. I just moved here a little less than a year ago,” she explained to Conor as carefully as she could. The last thing she wanted was to expose the true reason for her move across the country. Instead, she explained to him that she had gotten a job writing for Boston Style, and that it was the sort of job she had always dreamed of. Of course, this was true, though it was not the real reason she had moved. Her story would definitely be a buzzkill. Oh, I moved here because my husband and my infant son died in a horrible car accident, and everything in Texas made me want to kill myself. This revelation would abruptly end the conversation.

  They talked on, and over the next hour or so, she had learned several things about Conor M’Cullagh. She learned that he went to BU and had gotten a degree in International Business. Though he gave his best shot at trying to explain what he did for a living, Casey only got the gist. He traveled a lot, and seemed to be well-off. She also learned more about Ireland, which interested her to no end. He was a gentleman with a permanent smile painted on his gorgeous face, and it took no time at all for Casey to realize that she was attracted to him, not just physically, but mentally and intellectually as well.

  After a few drinks, Casey noticed the clock, and reluctantly told Conor that she had to get home. Though she had nowhere to be the next day, and had written many a column with a splitting headache, she vowed to keep her guard up with this man. He was just too good to be true.

  When he asked, “Can I walk ya home, then?” in a most gentlemanly tone, she could not refuse.

  On the walk home, they talked mostly about her, with Conor seeming genuinely interested in her life. She couldn’t help but think how nice it was to actually converse with another human being. She had been so lonely, but was she ready to open up? Dr. Roma will have a field day with this one, she thought.

  “This is me,” she told him when they were standing in front of the doorway to her apartment building.

  “This is nice,” he said, tilting his head back to survey the large brick structure. “I always liked this part of the city.” He dropped his gaze and looked longingly at her with those emerald-green eyes. She did not know much about Ireland, but she imagined that his eyes might resemble the lush green fields that she had only seen in books. How nice it would be to live somewhere so beautiful and unattached. The way he had described it sounded like a dream, as if there was no room for pain with such gorgeous surroundings. He had probably never experienced agony as she had.

  She began to get lost in thought as she so often did, when she realized that Conor was leaning to kiss her. Run! Her mind was screaming at her once more. As a range of emotions flooded her, she decided to stay put and let whatever was about to happen, happen. She was curious about this man, and her body desired him badly. As his soft, pouting lips grazed hers, she felt as though she might faint. He kissed her gently at first, apparently apprehensive about coming off too pushy. She could tell that her lips were tight and frigid, so she willed herself to loosen for him. He stepped in closer, and wrapped his arms around the lower part of her back. She had not experienced closeness like this in so long, and it felt overwhelmingly amazing. As he squeezed her body to his, and their lips began a tug of war, she lost herself in the moment. Their tongues danced wildly, and their bodies were on fire for one another. As she felt him growing erect for her, she pulled away from him in a lustful daze.

  His eyes remained closed for a moment, which gave Casey time to catch her breath. When he opened his eyes, they were soft and sated, as if what had transpired between them was as intense for him as it was for her. Had he needed that as badly as she had?

  Before she could string a single solid thought together, Connor said, “Can I see ya again?” He sounded so urgent, it was as if she said no, he might break into pieces.

  “Of course you can,” she said without hesitation.

  After exchanging numbers and bidding each other goodnight, Casey went into her building and leaned against the wall. She had to take a beat and process what had just happened. Her body was screaming to chase after him, to kiss him once more. She had never, in her thirty long years, ever been kissed like that. Even Jace had never made her feel that way. Wondering if the reaction was just because her lips had not grazed another man’s in ages, Casey began to climb the stairs.

  Chapter 5

 
“Casey?” A familiar voice rang through the stairwell. Casey turned at once to see her best friend before her.

  “Sammie?” she asked, thinking that this might be a hallucination. “Oh my God, Sammie!” Casey exclaimed as she ran toward her, tears welling in her eyes. Just when she thought this night could not get any better!

  After silently hugging one another for what seemed like hours, Casey led her friend into her apartment.

  “Wow, this is nice, Case,” Sammie said, looking around the apartment.

  “Thanks. It is kind of small, but it’s home,” Casey replied.

  Casey grabbed a bottle, and two old friends sat down for a glass of Merlot. Casey could not believe that on a night like this, when she needed her best friend the most, Sammie had magically appeared on her doorstep halfway across the country. Casey needed to apologize for leaving Texas without a word. She wanted to explain why she had ignored her best friend for so long.

  “How is it that you are here?” Casey asked.

  “Your dad told me where to find you. I had not heard from you in so long, and I just missed you so bad.” Sammie’s bright-red bottom lip began to quiver. Casey smiled and pulled her in for a hug.

  “Well, I am so glad you are here. I missed you, too,” Casey said, still holding her best friend tight in her arms. She wondered what would be the best approach to begin her apology.

  “I am so sorry for the way I left, Sammie. I’m sorry for not returning your calls. After what happened, I just did not want anything familiar in my life, you know? I’m sure I went about it the wrong way.” She pulled away to look into her eyes, and asked, “Forgive me?”

  Sammie nodded. She brushed away her tears, and took a sip of her wine. Then, her tone got serious as she asked, “How are you?”

  Boy, wasn’t that a question with multiple answers right now? On the one hand, she was still mourning the death of her family. On the other, she had just met (and kissed) an amazing man who was obviously into her. Though the good and the bad weighed about the same, she decided to begin with the bad. She hadn’t talked to anyone but her two shrinks about the accident, so Sammie was a welcome confidante.

  She told Sammie about how she could not bear to face anyone in Texas after the accident. “I felt like everyone was pitying me. What’s worse, I could not see a single bar or tree or street that wasn’t full of memories. It was excruciating,” she explained.

  “Why didn’t you confide in me?” Sammie asked.

  “Even you reminded me of him, Sam. I am so sorry,” Casey replied. “I know that is horrible, but you did. I just needed to disappear for a while. I hadn’t planned on exiling myself and alienating everyone for almost a year, but I just grew reclusive.”

  At that, Sammie looked as if Casey had just pissed in her Cheerios. She wished that there were some way that she could make Sammie understand the meaning behind her overnight disappearance, but she doubted anyone could fully understand. She did not really even understand it herself.

  At that, Sammie left it alone and changed the subject. “So how is your life here?”

  Casey told her all about her column at Boston Style. She even showed her a few samples of her work which, of course, Sammie was immensely interested in. She loved all things beauty and style, and though Casey did not seem to possess any of those qualities as of late, she excelled at writing about them. She then told her about her daily routine, and did not leave out the part about the visits to her shrinks and the medications she was on.

  Though they hadn’t seen each other in months, it was as if they had never parted. Casey figured this happened to all friends who had been in each other’s lives since childhood. Also, after so many years of friendship, Sammie knew not to push Casey on sore subjects. To Casey’s relief, Sammie was aware that if Casey wanted to talk about Jace and the baby specifically, she would bring it up herself. She did not push, and Casey was grateful. She had no desire to ruin this evening with her best friend by delving into her past sorrow.

  Their wine glasses were filled and emptied as they caught up on the time they had been apart. Casey laughed at Sammie’s crazy stories, and realized that genuine happiness had been so missed over the last year.

  “So how long can you stay?” she asked, in hopes that this was not a quick trip.

  “Well, here is the thing,” Sammie replied. “I broke up with Chad.” Casey obviously had a confused look on her face, because Sammie repeated, “Chad. Chad. You know, the football player from high school?”

  “Oh my God! Sammie, he was a man-whore! You were with him?”

  “Not just with him.” She flashed a meager wedding ring that looked as though it could have come out of a Cracker Jack box. Casey gasped!

  “When did this happen?”

  Sammie went on to tell her that they had “fallen in love” instantly, and proceeded to elope in Vegas six months ago. Apparently, the problems between them began not long after. Chad was a drunk who had tried repeatedly to slap the hell out of Sammie, who, thankfully, was a scrapper herself with enough common sense not to take it.

  “So do you think I could stay here for a while?” Sammie asked. “I kind of have nowhere else to go, and nobody else I would rather be with. I have some money saved so I can help with the rent.”

  Casey was overjoyed. Though Sammie had absolutely no taste in men, and her life was generally a spastic mess, she brought light into Casey’s life. A light that she needed, and one that was so absent for so long.

  “Of course you can,” Casey said for the second time tonight.

  Chapter 6

  Three days later, Casey sat at the Commons, attempting to draw inspiration from the people in the bustling park. She felt as though her entire existence had changed over the course of one day. Her best friend had re-entered her life on a whim, and she had met an amazing man that had seemed genuinely interested in her. Even though Casey had not heard from Conor, she had a gut feeling that he was going to call. Something inside her told her not to give up on him. Just as she was getting lost in thought about him, her cell phone rang. She picked it up and noticed an unknown phone number with a Boston area code. Her heart jumped so far into her throat, she thought that she might choke before ever answering. She let it ring a couple times before finally accepting the call. Relief washed over her body when she heard that delicious accent on the other end.

  “Casey?” said Conor.

  “Hello, Conor,” she replied, a smile stretching from ear to ear.

  “Listen, love, I’m sorry I haven’t called ya. I had to take an unexpected trip for work, but I was wonderin’ if ya might want to have supper with me this evenin’?”

  “I would love to,” she said without hesitation. Her heart pounded in her chest. Was this sexy foreign man really asking her to dinner?

  Conor relayed the plans for dinner, and Casey hurried home to get ready. She could not wait to tell Sammie about this! She had not yet told her best friend about the strange Irish man who had lustfully kissed her the night that Sammie arrived. At that point, Casey had thought there was too much else on the table to discuss and figured it might save her some heartache in the event that Conor did not call back. It was never fun to tell your friends that you had been played by yet another asshole, though Casey had never really suffered in that department. She liked to think that she had always picked good guys.

  Once she reached her building, she took the stairs two at a time, almost tripping more than once. Inside the apartment, she almost yelled, “Sammie! Where are you? I need you now!”

  Sammie came running out of the bathroom like her hair was on fire. “What? What is it?” she asked.

  Casey told her friend all about Conor. She was sure that she used the words “amazing” and “delicious” more than once. Once she had not withheld a single detail, Casey took a breath. She was pretty sure that she had held it through the entire tale of her strange encounter.

  Sammie just smiled. “Well, let’s get you ready for the ball, Cinderella.”

 
; Two hours, and at least one bottle of wine later, Casey stared at the person in the mirror. She did not look like herself, or at least what she had looked like over the past year. With Sammie’s help, Casey had gone from looking like a decrepit shell of a human being to an actual woman. She felt good in her skin, seductive and sexy. She felt the fire igniting within her. Was she amping herself up to have sex tonight? She shook away the thought. If she got too nervous, beads of sweat would form and mess up Sammie’s creation.

  “You look so gorgeous right now, Casey. You are glowing! I haven’t seen you look like this since before…” She let the thought trail off. When Casey frowned, Sammie said, “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Casey replied, though now she could not help but to think about Jace. She had loved him, and she still did. He had made her feel sexy and seductive. She had so enjoyed getting ready for their first date and all those after. This moment in front of the mirror with Sammie was all too familiar. Though she would never admit it out loud, she was terrified that history would repeat itself. Please God, do not let my fear become a reality, she thought.

  At twenty minutes past 7 p.m., Casey and Sammie sat at the kitchen table, staring at one another in silence. They had chosen for her date a simple yet slinky black dress and pair of strappy black heels. Casey thought she looked like she was going to a funeral, but Sammie assured her that she was dressed beautifully for any occasion. When Casey had asked Conor earlier about appropriate attire for the evening, he had given no hints as to where they were going.