The Art of Moving On (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Sarah Raymond

  Casey stopped herself from yet another onslaught of questions that she could never answer. The night had been too perfect to begin a morbid thought process, so she flipped through the pages until she came to a marked page. The poem was entitled “Proof,” and she read it aloud. Dickinson wrote:

  That I did always love,

  I bring thee proof:

  That till I loved

  I did not love enough.

  That I shall love always,

  I offer thee

  That love is life,

  And life hath immortality.

  This, dost thou doubt, sweet?

  Then have I

  Nothing to show

  But Calvary.

  Just as Casey finished reading, she felt the brush of lips upon the back of her neck. A shiver ran down her spine, and she leaned into his kiss.

  “I always loved that one,” he said softly.

  “What do you love about it?” she asked, intrigued that he enjoyed poetry.

  “Well,” he said, “I dunno if I am correct, but I gather that a man loves a woman so completely that he feels the yearnin’ to prove that his feelin’s are eternal. It’s like he feels that his life will only go on forever if she keeps on lovin’ him. Seems to me that love could keep ya alive, don’t ya think?”

  Casey did not have to think about it, and frowned. “I think if you are meant to die, then you are going to.” She dropped her head, and Conor came around the chair, kneeling before her. He put his finger underneath her chin and raised her eyes to his.

  “What is it ya aren’t tellin’ me, love? Why do your eyes fog over ever’ time I ask ya about your past, or mention somethin’ about love? Don’t ya believe in it? Why does it scare ya so?”

  She shook her head as a single tear traveled from her cheek. She swiped it away, and began to stand. “I have to go.” She turned to leave the room, and Conor grabbed her hand.

  “Wait. Love, I’m not one of those fellas that beds ya and asks ya to leave. I want ya to stay. I won’t ask any more upsettin’ questions, I promise.” He searched her face for a hint of promise. “I want to hold ya tonight, and see your face in the morn’ when I wake up, is all.”

  Though she was flattered, she could not stay. Her emotions were running crazy and she was, in all actuality, very tired. Her body ached from their lustful encounter and she wanted a shower.

  “I can’t. Tonight was so amazing, and you are amazing, but I have to go.” She turned and left him standing naked beside the fire. It took all she had not to turn around and make love to him right there, but in the back of her mind, she could not stop thinking about Jace. It was not fair to lie with one man while thinking of another, so she left.

  Chapter 11

  When Casey woke the next morning, she was in a sour mood. She regretted her decision to leave Conor the night before. What was wrong with her? Here she had this amazing man that pleasured her to no end, and had practically begged her to stay the night, and she had let her emotions get in the way of that. She was beginning to think that she just enjoyed torturing herself. She put her hand on her forehead, thinking how she needed desperately to apologize for her actions. He would more than likely forgive her, but he would need an explanation. She just didn’t know if she was capable of letting down her guard.

  With a groan, she rolled out of bed and put on her robe. When she went out into the living room, Sammie was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. The look on her face told Casey that something was wrong.

  “Are you okay?” Casey asked.

  “I took a test,” Sammie responded.

  Casey’s brows raised as she asked, “And?”

  “It’s in the bathroom. I haven’t looked yet.”

  Casey stared in the direction of the bathroom, fearful to enter. “Do you want me to look?” she asked her friend cautiously. When Sammie nodded, Casey turned toward the hallway. She walked slowly, as if she were entering a lion’s den. When she got to the dreaded room, she picked up the test, took a deep breath, and looked at the result. A faint pink plus sign had appeared, and Casey knew that both of their lives were forever changed in that moment.

  She returned to her friend and said, “You are going to have a baby!” Sammie put her head in her hands and sobbed. Casey was unsure if they were tears of joy or sadness, but she sat beside Sammie to hold her as she cried. Either way, she knew that her friend needed her now more than ever.

  After what seemed like an hour, Sammie pulled herself together enough to speak. She looked longingly at Casey and said, “I am going to keep this baby, but I need your help. Will you be there for me?” Casey smiled, relieved that Sammie wanted to keep the baby. A new life in this little unconventional family would do them both some good.

  “Of course,” she said without hesitation. “But we are going to need a bigger place!”

  Sammie’s eyes lit up. Of course Casey would not kick her out now. Two parents were always better than one, and though she had vowed never to have another child of her own, she would be the best auntie she could be.

  Later that day, Casey sat in her quiet room, staring at her phone. Conor had not called, and it was completely understandable. She wanted desperately to reach out to him. There were so many things she wanted to say, but how would she begin? She threw her phone on the bed and walked out of the room. The day had already been exciting enough, and it might be best to give them both a little time.

  Chapter 12

  It had been almost a week since the lustful encounter with Conor, and Casey still had not spoken with him. She would worry more about the situation, but he had called and texted her numerous times throughout the week. It took all she had not to answer him each time, but she did not have a clue what to say. Sure, he might not ask the lingering questions about her past right now, but as they grew closer, she would eventually have to spill. However, Casey had also made herself aware that he wouldn’t wait on her forever. She was lost, and she missed him terribly.

  The only thing keeping her mind off of Conor twenty-four-seven for the last week had been the apartment search she and Casey were on. They had so far found nothing worth living in for the money they wanted to spend. It seemed almost like a lost cause.

  “Shit! This is impossible,” Sammie had said a few days ago, throwing the paper she was thumbing through down in frustration. “We cannot live on one income. I have got to find a job before we get locked into a lease.”

  Casey had just shrugged, reassuring her friend, “We have some time before the baby comes. Stop stressing.” It was comical that she could dish out this advice for her friend, but she could not take it in regards to Conor. She stressed constantly, and it was becoming obvious that it was no way to live.

  So now, a week later, Casey decided to stop avoiding her problems and just dive right in. She picked up the phone and dialed. Conor answered after only two rings, his rich Irish accent filling her ears and instantly warming her heart. “Casey, where have ya been, love? I’ve been worried for ya.”

  Casey apologized to him, and arranged a meeting so they could talk. She had to tell him something, and now had only about an hour to figure out what to say. Panic set in, and she suddenly felt as though she couldn’t breathe.

  After an hour of freaking out, mixed with a whole lot of excitement to see Conor again, Casey sat in the Common waiting for him. She thought for some reason the soothing essence of the park would calm her nerves and make it easier to get out what she wanted to say, but that had proven to be unhelpful. When she saw Conor walking toward her, her heart began to race. He looked even more delicious than usual as he sat beside her. The rich, musky scent of his cologne sent her head spinning. This was going to be harder than she thought.

  As he opened his mouth to speak, Casey put her finger on his lips to silence him. She had to say what she had rehearsed in her head, and fast, before she lost her nerve. So, to take her own advice once again, she stropped stressing and dove right in.

  “Conor, I know that I have act
ed strange, especially the other night. There are things that I have hidden from you because I am scared. My past is littered with tragedy, and I was not looking to have feelings for anyone when you suddenly popped into my life. I think you are amazing, and the connection between us, sexual and otherwise, is too much to ignore. That being said, I am not ready to talk about my past with you, or anyone for that matter. I am still unsure if I am even ready to let someone into my life. I just don’t think that we can be together without me telling you what I need to tell you. You will always be curious, and I will always be distant. It is just too hard.” She stared into his saddened eyes for a moment. Then, “I’m sorry,” was all she could manage. She felt the tears welling in her eyes, the ache forming in her heart. She did not want to end it, but it was not fair to do this to such a phenomenal man. He deserved more. He deserved honesty and openness, and she did not deserve him.

  Casey stood to leave, but Conor turned her around, and laid one of those deep, lustful kisses upon her lips. When he pulled away, he stared into her eyes and said, “Love, I don’ mind a bit of complication. Tell me when ya are ready, or never. I don’t care either way, because the idea of not havin’ ya in my life makes me sick at my stomach. Ya are an amazin’ person, and the connection I feel for ya is not just in my bollocks. I want ya any which way I can have ya. If distant is the only way, then so be it.”

  She searched his eyes for a flicker of doubt. There was none. “Are you sure that you can be with me knowing that there is something I intentionally hide from you? I don’t want to hurt you, and I feel like I am being unfair.”

  His response was simple, and it made so much sense. “We all have a past, love. It’s the future we can change,” he said as he pulled her close. She remained in his arms, head spinning for what seemed like an eternity.

  Finally, Conor pulled away from her and asked, “So what are your plans for this evenin’?” When Casey answered that she was wide open, no pun intended, Conor instructed her to meet him at his place in an hour. Knowing that after today’s brief break-up there was intense make-up sex to be had, Casey agreed and started home to spruce herself up.

  An hour later, she stood in front of the huge red door to his home. She hadn’t noticed the color before, but she took note of how calming the crimson was. For some reason, though the pallet that came to mind when she thought of Conor did not include this shade of red, it suited him. She knocked lightly, and the door opened on its own. Before any other thought ran through her mind, Casey panicked slightly, thinking something terrible had happened to Conor. That was, until she looked down and saw a path of the most stunning rose petals leading up the stairs. They were unlike anything she had ever seen before, their blossoms white with dark rose lining the edges. Their scent was so strong it penetrated the entire house. She smiled at the image of Conor carefully releasing the petals as he climbed the stairs. Casey put down her things on a small table beside the door, and followed the trail.

  When she reached the top of the stairs, she heard faint music coming from a part of the house she had never explored before, and the trail led right to it. The petals disappeared at the end of a long hallway behind a closed door. Casey stood before the door, took a deep breath, and nervously tugged at her dress to ensure that it was sitting right on her body. When she opened the door, what she saw before her was a beautiful scene. She knew immediately that she was never going to get the image out of her head. Behind the door was a large bathroom, tiled black and white. Sitting before a giant window that led to a balcony, with a breathtaking view of the city, sat a Jacuzzi bathtub lined with candles of all shapes and sizes. There was bottle of champagne chilling on the ledge of the tub, and inside was a very naked Conor motioning her to join him.

  Without a hint of hesitation, Casey crossed the giant bathroom to the tub. She noticed that his trail of roses had not stopped at the door, but were all around him, lightly kissing his skin as they floated in the tub. The sight of him in the candlelight, swimming in a sea of white and pink petals, made her knees quiver. As his eyes begged for her body, she slowly undressed, revealing small amounts of flesh at a time. His stare on her made her instantly wet, and she ached for him to be inside of her. When she stood before him completely naked, he held out his hand and said, “Come to me.”

  She obeyed. As she joined him in the warm water, he poured her a glass of champagne. This was the first time that anybody had done something so romantic for her…well, twice counting their first date. She wondered how it was possible that someone could be so thoughtful?

  As he handed her a glass, Casey said, “This is the most gorgeous setting I have ever seen. You did good.”

  Conor smiled. “I am glad ya like it, but the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen is sittin’ right in front of me.” He raised his glass and began a toast. “Here is to my little vixen. Casey, ya have brought a light into my life, and I’m so glad that ya did not run out on me today. I would have been lost, and I want nothin’ more than a chance to get to know ya better.”

  They took a sip and Conor sat down his glass. He moved closer, and with a firm grip on Casey’s ass, pulled her to him. She could feel his erection, and began breathing heavily.

  “Well, that’s a lie,” he said, holding her close. “Actually, I want to get to know ya, and I want to taste ya as ya go off on my tongue again.”

  Casey blushed, but it wasn’t from embarrassment. Blood rushed to every part of her body. Her loins began to pound, hungry for his massive cock to take its rightful place buried deep inside of her.

  He loosened his grip on her ass and pulled her face close. He teased her gently, his lips coming close to hers, but pulling away before connecting. This excited her immensely, her heart beating so loud she wondered if he could hear it.

  After some healthy teasing, Conor finally allowed their lips to connect. His mouth was soft against hers, his breath sweet. His tongue danced against hers, and she felt her body readying for a climax. As if he knew that she was getting close to her first release of the evening, Conor reached into the water to rub those delicious little circles on her aching folds. The sensation of this sent her over the edge automatically, and she pulled her lips from his to release a scream. Her head flew backward, her breasts rising and falling before him. Her toes curled tightly and her entire body shook. She climaxed for several minutes, riding the wave of pleasure as long as she could.

  Just before her climax ended, Conor grabbed her ass hard again and skewered her with his rigid erection. She screamed out, finishing her first orgasm on top of his mighty cock. He began pumping into her hard, a grip so tight around her that she thought for an instant he might break her in half. As she rode his length, he kissed her ferociously along her neck, traveling south to her breasts. He took her nipples one by one into his mouth, suckling her gently. As he grazed his teeth over one of the buds, she moaned. “Harder. Bite me harder.” When he did, she cried out, the mixture of pleasure and pain almost too much to bear. Even in the water, she could feel him growing stiff within her. She was aware that she was about to milk him right over the edge, so she rode him harder.

  “Ah love, yes! Harder. Ride me harder.” He moaned, the rising orgasm nearly stealing his breath. “Ride me cock like a good little lass.” Once again, she obeyed.

  When he came inside of her, his eyes rolled back, his skin beaded with sweat. He looked so incredibly sexy in the dim light from the candles that Casey began to come again at just the sight of him. He released with a growl, and she followed. She continued to ride him for a few minutes after they climaxed. She was unwilling to have this end, though she was sure that there was more of Conor to be had in the near future. When she finally stopped, she practically collapsed onto his heaving chest, inhaling the scent of his flesh laced with the scent of roses.

  When they could finally breathe again, Conor said, “That. Was. Amazin’. I could to make love to ya all night.”

  Casey looked at him and said, “What’s stopping you?”

  H
e smiled and pulled her head to rest on his chest once more. “The bubble bath isn’t the only surprise, that’s why.” Casey was excited! What more tricks did he have up his sleeve? He had already ran them a gorgeous bath and given her two mind-blowing orgasms.

  “There’s more?” she asked, excited as a child at an amusement park.

  “Come on,” Conor replied.

  He wrapped her in a towel and led her out onto the balcony just beyond the window. The space was dark, but she had been able to see the magnificent view of Boston through the window. Conor flipped a switch against the wall, and strings of lights overhead came on. The balcony was a roomy area, and covered in greenery. The tall walls surrounding the space were lined with the pink and white flowers that he had used to make the trail to the bathroom. Casey was astounded. He must be very wealthy, she thought to herself. She was not concerned with his financial situation, but she had to admit, she was enjoying Conor’s ability to spoil her. It seemed like it had been so long since anyone did anything nice for her.

  On the right side of the balcony, there was bed resting low to the ground. It was dressed in a white down comforter and doused in pillows that looked as if they were clouds picked straight from the sky. The bed, like everything else, was covered in petals. Casey looked at Conor and said, “This is too much!”

  “It’s not nearly enough for you,” Conor replied as he led her over to the bed.

  He sat her down onto probably the most comfortable bed in the universe and walked over to a small rolling tray. “What do you have over there?” she asked, her stomach beginning to growl. He came back and gently sat beside her. In his hands was a bowl full of strawberries, from which he plucked one and held it lovingly up to her lips. Casey let him feed her, taking sensual bites of the strawberry in an attempt to seduce him once more. After all, one sexual romp with this man was unacceptable. She yearned to touch him once again, to feel him consume her.