The Art of Moving On (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Sarah Raymond

  She turned her head to look at Conor. He was slumbering peacefully, unaware that she was studying his exquisite features. In the luminescence of this gorgeous Boston morning, he looked to her like an angel. His warm skin was almost glowing, dousing her with a light feeling. There was no way that she could feel sad with him near her. He was obviously sent to her from God, or whomever it was watching out for her, to bring her from the darkness. Casey needed him, probably more than he needed her. His eyes opened slightly to reveal those glowing emerald hues. God, he looked adorable in the morning. I could get used to this, Casey thought.

  “Good mornin’, beautiful,” he said. He was even charming in the morning!

  “Good morning,” she replied, feeling at ease.

  He stretched his muscles then, straining his warm flesh across each bulging mass. When he relaxed, he asked, “How did ya sleep?”

  “Well, before and after the intense nightmare, I slept great. How about you?” she replied.

  “With ya in my arms, love, I slept like a baby.” He had a way with words that could just melt Casey’s heart. “How about some breakfast?” Casey had been cooking her own breakfast, or grabbing something from the coffee shop, for the last year. It would be a welcome treat for someone else to cook for her. What if his one flaw is that he can’t cook? Casey giggled at the thought.

  “What’s so funny?” Conor asked.

  Casey shook away the thought, convinced that a crappy cook was a flaw she could handle. “Nothing. And, yes, I am starving. I really worked up an appetite last night,” she said, a sly smile creeping across her face.

  Conor stood then, pulling on a pair of jeans that were neatly folded on a chair beside the bed. The sight of his tight ass being covered by denim was heart wrenching, but Casey was hopeful that she would get to stare at it a great deal in the future. He turned and leaned down for a quick kiss.

  “Now, lay here as long as ya want, love. Ya can take a shower or whatever to freshen up, and I’ve extra toothbrushes and things I’ll lay out for ya.” He disappeared then into the bathroom, leaving her to her thoughts in his gigantic comfortable bed. Being undeniably female, Casey naturally wondered, how many people had been in this bed? How many had needed to use an extra toothbrush? How many had eaten his homemade breakfast? Though she was unwilling to share virtually anything about her past, she could not help but wonder about his.

  After lying in bed for a while, letting various thoughts run wild in her head, Casey decided to take a shower. She stepped in, the soft spray massaging her aching body. The water felt so amazing stroking her sensitive flesh. She was reluctant to wash Conor’s scent off of her body, but the shower was filled with the aroma of his cologne and shampoo. Images of the night before replayed in her mind as she ran her hands over her flesh. Conor had brought her pleasure so many times that she was surprised to find that her folds were growing slick once more. Hungering for release, she leaned her back against the cool tile of the shower and began working herself. Her body, sensitive to the touch, yearned to be caressed. Holding her heavy breasts in one hand, she rubbed circles down below. Her breath grew shallow and rapid and she came quickly, visions of Conor pumping into her filling her mind.

  When she finished herself and recovered from the shuddering, Casey got out and dried quickly. She put on her outfit from the night before, brushed her teeth, and descended the stairs in a cheerful mood. The scent of eggs and bacon, mixed with that of fresh fruits and juice, attacked her senses, making her mouth water instantly. And was that syrup? It was all over if he were making pancakes. She would be instantly in love. Or was she already?

  Following the smell to the kitchen, she realized that she had never seen this room before. It was an open space, housing brand new appliances of the best brands. There was a large window that gave a view of a very small green backyard. The windowsill was lined with numerous little pots alive with spices and flowers. The flooring was the same black and white checkered tile that Casey loved so much. There was an island in the middle of the kitchen with a large assortment of fruits sliced and ready to be devoured. It was all so beautiful. Casey wished her apartment looked anything like Conor’s home. There, in the middle of the vast modern kitchen, was her old-fashioned Irishman, cooking away to appease her belly. He was like a dream.

  “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya, love,” he cheerfully said in the thickest Irish accent he could muster.

  She giggled out loud. “I didn’t know my breakfast was being prepared by a leprechaun,” she said.

  “That is correct! But only the sexiest leprechaun for ya, love.”

  “Do the Irish actually use that expression?” she asked.

  “Not at all,” he said, “but Americans tend to think we do, so we play along,” he replied. He laid down the knife he was wielding and came around the island. He pulled out a barstool and motioned her to have a seat. When she did, he quickly brushed his lips against hers, and went back to cooking.

  “It smells delicious. What all are you making there?” she asked, her mouth watering again in anticipation for his answer. She noticed that he was loading up a plate with many different options, which she hoped was to be shared by the both of them. She was truly a bagel and coffee kind of girl, but she could not say no to any kind of breakfast meats. However, the pile that he was preparing on that plate was definitely going to kill her. He sat an overloaded plate down in front of her, and turned back for more. Casey’s eyes widened as he returned with two more small plates. Altogether he had given her three eggs, ham, bacon, sausage, two pieces of toast, a bagel, a small stack of pancakes covered in fresh strawberries, orange juice, coffee, and another mug filled with what she imagined to be tea.

  She was so astounded by the meal made for a giant that she was speechless. She watched as Conor returned to make himself a spread of equal proportion. When he sat down on a stool beside her and picked up a fork to dig in, he froze when he saw the look on her face.

  “What? Don’t ya like eggs?” he asked, truly clueless as to why she wore the look of bewilderment upon her face. It was all too comical, and Casey could not help but to laugh out loud. She laughed so hard her stomach ached and she could not breathe. All the while, Conor smiled, an oblivious look painted on his face the entire time.

  When Casey finally got her laughter under complete control, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Conor, I don’t mean to laugh but, this is the most food I have ever seen in my entire life. There is no way that I’ll be able to eat all of this!” After she said it, she hoped that her sudden outburst of laughter would not hurt his feelings. It was just that, she had truly never seen this much food on one plate.

  “I knew that ya probably wouldn’t, love, but I made ya a traditional full Irish breakfast. I honestly didn’t know what ya liked, so I thought a little of everythin’ would be the best way to go.”

  Casey stopped smiling. She felt bad now, knowing that not only was it part of his heritage to eat this large of a meal, but that he had went out of his way to make something that she liked. She leaned over and kissed him sweetly. When she pulled away, she said, “It’s perfect. Thank you, Conor.” Then she turned to dig in to the oversized meal made for her by the man with an oversized heart.

  Casey and Conor had sat in silence devouring the he-man meal, and she had done a pretty good job of getting the food down. Apparently the multiple workouts they had performed last night built up an unprecedented appetite. Everything had been so delicious that she did not leave one portion untouched, though she could in no way finish the entire plate. Casey leaned back, stretching her stomach in agony. If Conor continued cooking for her like this, she would most definitely have a full figure again in no time. She had been wrong—his culinary skills were not one of his flaws. He has to have one, she thought to herself.

  He finished his plate completely, sopping up the yolk from his last egg with his toast. He was even sexy when he ate breakfast. How is this possible? When he had finished his meal and wiped his mouth, he looked over at
Casey, failing at trying to make room in her stomach.

  “Well, love, what did ya think?” he asked her.

  “I think that you are going to make me fat cooking delicious meals like that,” she replied.

  He laughed, reaching over to rub her stomach. “Ya could use a couple extra pounds.” She knew that he was right. She missed her old figure. She had been small and frail and decrepit looking for far too long. She decided in that moment that she was going to start working out again and eating normal portions of food. She needed a healthy new beginning, and she needed to let go of her past. More importantly, she needed to keep Conor in her life. He was going to be her savior, she just knew it.

  “Listen, love, I have to go out of town on business for a few days. Can I call ya when I get back?” Casey was saddened by the news that he would be gone, but thought, what are a few days when you have a lifetime? She was surprised by her optimism. She knew better than anyone that nobody is promised a lifetime. There were no guarantees that there would even be a tomorrow. She killed the thought in cold blood. There was no need for her overactive mind to get going this early in the day. Especially not after the wonderful night and morning she and Conor had just shared.

  “Of course you can. I will be waiting.” She rose to pick up her plate when he stopped her.

  “I have the dishes, love.” Her heart melted. He cooked for her and cleaned up after? He was definitely a keeper. Jace had done a lot of the cooking, but the cleaning was mainly left up to her, though she liked it that way. She had always been very particular about how to clean certain things, and the placement of those said things. Since Jace’s death, she just hadn’t given a shit. Nothing had really mattered. Come to think of it, most of the last year was just a fog. She was a particle floating in a vast sea of particles. She had been nothing. Now, she was determined to be something again.

  Casey sat down the plate. “Are you sure? I can do the dishes. I don’t mind.” Conor shook his head, so she agreed and bent down for a kiss. “Thank you very much for the amazing evening, and the delicious breakfast. I have to get home. Sammie and I are on the search for an apartment, and it is no easy task in this city.”

  “What size of place are ya lookin’ for?” Conor asked inquisitively.

  “Well, we would prefer a three bedroom, but a two is fine. Sammie just found out that she is pregnant, so we will have a new little roomie joining us in a few months.”

  “Good for her! Tell Samantha congratulations for me,” Conor said excitedly. He obviously liked kids. That was not so great news. “Well, if ya like, ye gals can take a look at an apartment I own. It’s only a two bedroom, but it’s large and vacant. And I hear the landlord is a pretty reasonable guy,” he said with a wink. “A good lookin’ fella, too.”

  This was wonderful news! She was already so exhausted with looking at P.O.S. apartments that were either too small, or too expensive, or both. She was almost sure that an apartment owned by Conor, who was both modern and old-fashioned, chic and elegant, would be exquisite.

  “Are you serious? That would be amazing! It is so difficult to find an apartment in this city. I was lucky with the one I have now. There seem to be a lot more one-bedrooms than there are two- and three- in the city. Plus, the old woman who had lived in my place had recently died. She had been living there since the sixties, I think.” Casey was excited to check out a place that actually might be worth moving from her cozy one bedroom for.

  Conor stood and crossed over to pull a pen and paper from a drawer. He jotted something on the paper, and turned to give it to her. “Here’s the address, and here’s a key. Go take a look, see what ya think. If ya like it, ye are more than welcome to move in. I’ll cut ya a good deal.” He kissed her on the forehead and lowered his eyes to gaze at her body. “I sure am gonna miss ya, Ms. Casey. Thank ya again for one of the best nights of my entire life.”

  Casey leaned up to kiss him and turned to walk out the door. Could this truly be happening? Things had to go wrong in this relationship at some point. There was no way that someone could be so perfect! Or was it truly that Conor was just a genuinely good guy? How was he not married by now? Or had he been married? The not knowing was getting more difficult to handle, and Casey absently wondered if he felt the same about her secret. She wanted desperately to tell him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. What was she so afraid of? She could not put her finger on it.

  Chapter 14

  When she arrived at home, she unlocked the door excitedly and ran in to find a pregnant roommate lying on the couch, reading a magazine. On her belly was an enormous bowl of ice cream, which she was accompanying with a bowl of sour pickles and ranch. Casey stopped and made a disgusted face at her friend’s breakfast, the thought of ice cream and pickles added to her giant-sized breakfast would lead to vomit.

  “Isn’t it a little early for ice cream…and pickles?” she asked Sammie.

  “It is never too early for junk food when you are pregnant. I have spent the last two days eating everything in sight. I am starving and craving something that I cannot figure out. And I am fat and gross and pregnancy sucks. And why am I walking around passing gas everywhere? How disgusting!” Sammie started to cry, obviously not taking the transition into pregnancy very well. Casey remembered that feeling all too well.

  Jace had come home from work one day to find Casey lying on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, surrounded by Oreo packages and other empty junk food wrappers. She had eaten sushi at lunch earlier that day. Seeing all the brightly colored rolls, she had forgotten momentarily that she did not like fish, and decided to try an assortment of seafood. Why not? The rolls had looked appetizing, her pregnant belly had groaned loudly, and her mouth had watered. After eating a healthy portion of the fishy plate, Casey was convinced that she might like to devour briny sea creatures from that day forward. She found herself to be badly mistaken on the drive home, having to pull over three times to expel excruciating vomit. When she had finally reached the comfort of her home, she ran straight for the toilet and proceeded to get sick over and over again.

  After about an hour, Casey had decided that though she was still nauseated, she was craving every sort of junk food she could get her hands on, so she raided the kitchen, lovingly carrying the packages with her back to the bathroom. There, she continued a cycle of eating and vomiting for the remainder of the day, until she fell into a slumber on the floor. She had awoken to the sound of Jace’s bellowing laughter. He kneeled beside her, pulling something from her hair. “Baby, what happened? You have cookies in your hair,” he said. He had just laughed and laughed as she cried, embarrassed of the way she looked in her sea of sweets.

  Returning to reality, Casey went over to sit beside Sammie. “It is okay, Sammie. Pregnancy is weird. The changes you are going through inside and out are not easy to swallow. So by God, if you want pickles with ranch and ice cream, you just get after it.”

  Sammie sniffled a bit as she stopped herself crying. “Did you ever have weird cravings like this?” Sammie asked, obviously in need of some support in the situation.

  “Um, yes. You have no idea.” Casey proceeded to tell Sammie the story of the memory she had just had. Sammie was nearly rolling by the time Casey was finished telling the horrid tale of the sushi and the cookies. It was so good to see her smile. It seemed that Sammie had not done much smiling since they found out that she was pregnant—she had mainly cried. Casey chalked it up to hormones, but it could have been the idea of raising a baby without a father.

  “So, preggers, are you ready for some good news?” Casey asked Sammie. She picked up a napkin, wiping a dribble of Rocky Road off of Sammie’s chin.

  “I am always in need of good news,” Sammie replied.

  “Well, Conor has an apartment for rent. I’m not sure the exact location, so we will have to Google it, but I can’t see it being in Southie or anything. It’s a two bedroom, and judging by the look of his home, it’ll probably be gorgeous. He says that if we like it, he will b
e fair on rent, and guess what…He gave me the key so we can look while he is away on business. What do you think?”

  Sammie rose quickly, nearly knocking the ice cream bowl onto the floor. “I think let me get dressed and let’s go!”

  After the two friends had made themselves presentable, they stepped out to find a cool Boston breeze blowing through their hair. Casey hoped that this apartment of Conor’s would work out for them, because it was already September, and soon the weather would change drastically. Casey absolutely loved the snow, but winter in Boston was no time for anyone to be moving to a new place. If they could not get into a new residence before the end of October at the very latest, they would have to wait until after the baby was born to find a new place. That might be difficult.

  Casey and Sammie walked down the street and caught a T-line that took them fairly close to the apartment. Casey loved the T-line. There had been no public transportation like it in Texas since the state was so large, and it was a welcome change not to have to drive everywhere here in Massachusetts. She had sold her car before leaving Texas, which had helped buy her plane ticket and pay for the deposits on her apartment. Honestly, she had not brought much of anything with her to Boston. She had over-nighted her books and journals, unable to leave behind writing samples from her college years. She had also sent a few memorable items, keepsakes from her family and trinkets she could not part with. Other than that, she brought a couple of suitcases filled with clothes, toiletries, a few of her favorite movies, and a single picture in a frame. In the picture were Jace and Casey, looming over their newly born infant son. Casey rarely looked at the photograph, but she could not bring herself to throw it into the garbage with the rest of her memories. She had to keep one token to remind her of the life that she had lived before the chapter had abruptly closed.