Passage to Paradise

by J. J. Green

  “Actually,” said Carrie, “that dust doesn’t seem so bad, now I come to think of it.”

  Notos grimaced. “I agree. Let’s go.”

  But the parasitized dandrobians were already between them and the exit.

  Chapter Eighteen – Zombie Attack

  There were five of the zombie dandrobians, three females and two males, and though they were not fast-moving, they were large and strong. They lumbered towards Carrie and Notos, their gazes fixed, their mouths drooling.

  Carrie ran to one side and Notos to the other, and the group split up to follow them. Carrie darted under the outstretched arm of the nearest zombie, but it was surprisingly fast. Its hand swooped down and caught hold of her hair, lifting her off her feet. She gasped and reached up, managing to pry the stiff fingers loose as the infected dandrobian’s head loomed close. She fell to the ground. But the moment’s delay had given another two zombies time to reach her, and their hands gripped her arms.

  On the other side of the room, Notos was trying to escape two zombies of his own. He fought and twisted and turned as they tried to pull his head close to theirs. “Carrie,” he called, “hold on, I’ll be there in a minute.”

  She kicked a zombie in the stomach, breaking its grip. It staggered back and fell to the floor but immediately rose to its feet again. She smashed another in the chin with the heel of her hand. Its head snapped back but bounced forward as it reached for her. The third zombie gripped her waist from behind, and out of the corner of her eye she saw the shadow of its face approaching. She twisted free, but fell into the arms of another zombie, which tightened its grip like a vice.

  Now two zombies’ faces loomed close to hers, and Carrie shrieked, imagining what it might feel like to have a squashpump squeeze into her brain. But then the two zombie heads were violently struck together, and as they fell away, stunned, Notos appeared between them. Carrie leapt and reached with all her might to kick the third zombie in the head, and together she and Notos ran for the door and outside into the dusty air.

  Carrie immediately started coughing and choking again. “Thank you,” she wheezed as they ran from the building, then she gasped. “I’ve forgotten all about Rogue. I have to go back to the retiring room. I have to get back and make sure he’s indoors and safe.”

  “Okay, it’s this way.” Notos pulled a layer of his robe over his head. Carrie tried to do the same, but her folding and knotting of the material had created such a mess it was impossible. She ran after the dandrobian through the dusty air. It took only a few minutes to reach their destination. Rogue barked and leapt up at Carrie as she entered the room, almost bowling her off her feet.

  “Thank goodness you’re okay.” She ruffled his hair and cuddled him as she coughed and wiped the dust from her face.

  “Are you all right, my dear?” Notos poured himself a drink from the tap on the wall.

  “Yes, how about you?”

  “Oh I’m fine. I do apologise for the behaviour of my comrades.”

  “It isn’t their fault they’re infected with squashpumps. Oh, I wish we could settle this. I’m so sorry for the way things have turned out. I’m afraid I haven’t done a very good job.”

  “I’m sure you’re doing your very best.”

  Carrie’s heart warmed towards the kind, handsome alien who had done so much for her.

  “What are you going to do?” he asked, sipping his drink.

  Carrie opened her mouth to answer, but apparently her decision had already been made for her. In a corner of the room a green mist was forming. She sighed. “Looks like I’m going home. My manager must have heard from the squashpumps or she’s been listening to the commotion through my translator.” Whatever the source of her information, Errruorerrrrrhch was recalling her. Tendrils of mist began to swirl into a spiral.

  Notos put down his drink. “Carrie,” he said urgently, “I wasn’t going to say anything...but we know what happened to Apate. We know she went back with you.”

  “Oh.” Her heart sank. She’d almost forgotten about the crisis she had left behind while she was dealing with the new one she had created on Dandrobia.

  “Don’t worry, my dear. Everyone’s sooo angry about it. You see, if one of us escapes, it looks bad for everyone. We’re all punished with more sanctions, more prohibitions.” His face fell and he shook his head sadly. “What I was going to say was, we don’t blame you because we know what she’s like. She could charm the planet to turn the other way if she put her mind to it.”

  “That’s true.” The mist was thickening. Carrie wished Notos would get to the point. She had only moments before she had to step through.

  The dandrobian also had his eye on the mist. He took Carrie’s hands in his own and rushed on, “I know you’ll think it’s crazy, but I was going to offer...to come with you...to make her come back. Apate is too much for humans to handle, but I can deal with her.” He let go of her hands. “Of course, you’ll refuse, I know. It’s too much to ask. Please forget my request.”

  Carrie’s mouth opened to an O, but then she shut it as she began to think. She had no idea how she was going to get Apate to return. If Notos could help her do that, at least she would have put right some of the wrong she’d done. And he seemed trustworthy. He had sheltered her from the dust and protected her from the zombie dandrobians. With only moments to think, she made her choice. “Okay, it’s worth a try.”

  Chapter Nineteen – Dave’s Weak Spot

  The scene that greeted Carrie as she stepped from the mist was pretty much as she had left it. Dave was sprawled on her kitchen floor in a puddle of milk and cereal next to the overturned table, and Apate was in the middle of the room, adjusting her robes where they had become dislodged in the fight. Rogue bounded in from beneath the sink, and as the mist faded Notos arrived.

  At the sight of the new dandrobian Dave’s face flushed red, then drained to an angry white. Carrie wondered if her friend was going to have an actual fit. While he struggled to find the words to express his reaction, she grabbed her chance. “Now don’t overreact, Dave. It isn’t as bad as it looks. This is Notos, and he’s here to take Apate back to Dandrobia.”

  Apate smoothed her hair. “Notos, darling, how lovely to see you again.”

  “Likewise, Apate, my love,” replied the other dandrobian, and the two kissed the air on each side of the other’s face. “But you really must come home, you know.”

  “Oh, I know, my love, but Earth is such fun.”

  “Is it? What have you been doing? Tell me everything.”

  “No,” said Dave, pointing a warning finger at the dandrobians. “No you don’t.”

  The two aliens turned their beautiful eyes to him but did not speak. Dave clambered to his feet and grabbed the table, standing it upright. “Just hold on a minute.” He turned to Carrie, his lips set. “What the hell’s going on?”

  Holding up her hands, she replied, “Everything’s fallen apart in Dandrobia. The squashpumps started to attack again. This time they’re spraying some kind of drying dust everywhere from their spaceship. But Notos here offered to come back with me to sort things out at this end. He can make sure Apate goes back.” She looked pointedly at the female dandrobian, who failed to make eye contact. “And Errruorerrrrrh will be none the wiser. At least I won’t get into trouble for Apate.”

  “Why, what else are you going to get into trouble for?” asked Dave.

  “Now, I must feed Rogue,” said Carrie, striding across the kitchen before opening a cupboard.

  “Carrie...” said Dave.

  Notos moved between them and introduced himself, smiling warmly.

  As Dave looked up into the alien’s face his annoyed look faded a little. “Oh, hi, the name’s Dave.”

  Notos’ smile widened. “I hope we can get to know each other a little better while I’m here. Humans are so interesting. I love meeting the ones who come to visit.”

  “You’ve met humans before?”

  “Oh yes, many times.”


  “Really?”

  Rogue wolfed down the food Carrie had put in his bowl, and Dave and Notos made prolonged eye contact. Apate smirked. Carrie busied herself tidying up the mess in her kitchen. The female dandrobian joined in to help her. “Carrie, I want to apologise for my behaviour. I’m sooo sorry. I just couldn’t bring myself to leave. How I behaved was utterly unacceptable. I do hope you can forgive me.”

  Carrie sighed. “Apology accepted. But, Apate”—she looked intently at the alien—“you must go back at the next opportunity, okay? My job’s at stake if you don’t.”

  “I will, I will. I solemnly promise, darling.” She turned to Notos. “We’ll go back at the earliest opportunity, won’t we, Notos, dear?”

  “Oh, yes,” he replied absently.

  ***

  Rogue seemed no worse for his trip to Dandrobia, Carrie was happy to discover over the next few hours. She made a nearly complete report to Errruorerrrrrhch, leaving out only the fact that she now had two dandrobians living with her. Both would return as soon as they could, so she didn’t feel it was a fact worth mentioning.

  Apate and Notos made themselves at home while Carrie was writing her report, and Dave stuck around, getting deep into conversation with the male dandrobian. Carrie then did her usual Sunday tasks and tried to act as though she did not have two giant immortal aliens visiting.

  Of all the things wrong with the situation, it was Toodles’ reaction that upset her most. Toodles had never been what could be called a friendly cat, but her habit of lashing out at anyone who happened to pass by her latest hiding place disappeared around the dandrobians. Instead, she showed a depth of affection Carrie hadn’t believed she was capable of. She rubbed up against their legs, sat on their laps and tolerated any amount of cuddles and strokes, providing it wasn’t Carrie nor any other human delivering them.

  This display of affection was a low blow, considering she was the one that provided Toodles’ comfortable home and cared for her, and had often defended her against people who didn’t understand her inner nature. Carrie tried hard not to be jealous of other people, but in this case she struggled.

  She also seemed to be losing Dave. He and Notos’ conversation was rapidly developing into something more. She wasn’t sure whether she should interfere. Dave was between boyfriends and his love life was none of her business, but if one thing was clear, to her at least, it was that Notos would be returning to Dandrobia sooner rather than later, and Dave would not be going with him. She relied on Dave’s sensible attitude and support, and she would need both him and Notos to get Apate to return. What if he objected to Notos’ leaving? Without both their help she was sunk. Until Errruorerrrrrhch contacted her about the situation in Dandrobia, however, there was little she could do but wait.

  She was putting washed clothes in the tumble dryer when Dave came into the kitchen.

  “I’ve got a great idea,” he said. “Why don’t we take Apate and Notos out somewhere and show them around a bit?”

  Carrie closed the tumble dryer door and straightened up. “What? You’re the one who was telling me off for taking Apate to the pub last night.”

  Her friend looked sheepish. “I know, but...I don’t think it’ll do any harm. And they have been confined to Dandrobia for thousands of years. Notos was telling me all about it.”

  “Huh, it isn’t as much of a hardship as you might expect. You haven’t been there. It’s beautiful. They’ve made it perfect for themselves, and still they aren’t content. It’s weird. I’d love to spend the rest of my life there. They have flying horses, Dave. Flying horses. And you can ride them.”

  “Urghh, you wouldn’t catch me on a flying horse. Sounds dicey. Anyway, think what they’re used to. They had their pick of worlds to visit, things to see and do. After a lifestyle like that, it must be hard to adjust to just one place, no matter how perfect. What do you think? Shall we show them around? They probably don’t have much time before they have to go back.”

  “But what if they run off? There would be nothing we could do to stop them. It wouldn’t be any problem for them to make lives here, and if we told anyone they were escaped alien fugitives they’d think we’re off our rockers.”

  “Carrie, if they wanted to do that they would have done it. Either of them could walk out the door right now and there wouldn’t be a single thing we could do about it. But Apate didn’t. She came right back here after she left the pub with Rob. And, Notos, well he seems a great guy. That isn’t what they’re about. I’m sure of it.”

  “Dave, we can’t take them out. We just can’t. What if someone recognises they’re dandrobians? I have to keep them here until it’s time for them to go back.”

  “Come on, what are the chances of them being recognised? It’s only a tiny minority of people who know about other civilisations in the galaxy. It’s a miniscule risk.”

  Carrie frowned. Maybe Dave was right. He was always so sensible and rational, and though she knew there was something more to Apate at least, his point about both the dandrobians being able to leave at any time if they really wanted to, was right. She rubbed her eyes. She was tired and befuddled after all the events in Dandrobia, and she would liked to have spent the day resting, but other than that she had no concrete objection to Dave’s proposal. She turned on the tumble dryer. “Okay, I suppose so.”

  “Great. Let’s take them to London.”

  Chapter Twenty – Faux Pas

  A couple of hours later two dandrobians and two humans alighted at Euston Station and went immediately to the Tube. To say the dandrobians attracted attention would be an understatement. Apate was wearing the drab tracksuit Carrie had bought for her earlier, and Dave had managed to find something similar for Notos, though the legs and sleeves were much too short. Both aliens still looked gorgeous. Worrying they would be swamped by model agency scouts if they stayed in one place too long, Carrie hurried the aliens to the Houses of Parliament and from there to Tower Bridge, Piccadilly Circus and Oxford Street, and on through London’s tourist attractions.

  Notos and Apate were like children on their first outing to the big city. They stared and marvelled at everything. Double decker buses, advertising hoardings, shop window displays, even the ticket machines on the London Underground.

  “Oh, it’s just like Palermioned. Do you remember Notos, darling? The lights, the bustle, the music?”

  “You’re right, Apate, my dear. What a wonderful place that was. But the buildings—they remind me of Hacrety. Very similar don’t you think?”

  “Quite similar, but the wrong colours.”

  “Yes, the colours are quite different. These are rather drab and grey.”

  They were standing in front of the Barbican, a performing arts and conference centre. While the aliens discussed their impressions of their visit, Dave suggested to Carrie they try to book a show at the West End for the evening.

  “Are you crazy?” Carrie’s voice was a quiet squeak. “Can you imagine the kind of attention these two would attract sitting in a theatre for three hours? I’d pity whoever had to sit behind them, too.” She eyed the statuesque figures. “Anyway, we can’t stay out that late. I have to be back this evening when Errruorerrrrrh’s going to check in with me.”

  “Seems a shame to bring them to London without taking them to see something.”

  “Wherever we take them they’re going to be the attraction.”

  Dave sighed. “You’re right I suppose. We need to get them somewhere they can see without being seen.” His eyes grew wide. “I know just the place.”

  There was a long queue at the London Eye, and Apate and Notos drew plenty of looks, but even with all the worry about being found out Carrie didn’t regret Dave’s choice. Apate was rigid with excitement, and Notos had a childlike look of wonder on his face as they watched the slow turn of the massive wheel.

  “It’s so big,” squealed Apate for the fourth time.

  Notos put a hand on Carrie’s shoulder. “If this is what humans like, you must go t
o Xaertadon. You simply must. Where’s the landing pad?”

  “Landing pad?”

  “For when you jump.”

  Dave laughed. “You can’t jump. Who would want to jump from all the way up there? That would be absolutely terrifying.”

  “Dave, darling.” Notos grabbed his shoulders and gazed into his eyes. “Until you’ve jumped from a flying tower on Xaertadon you haven’t lived.”

  “You aren’t allowed to jump,” said Carrie. “They lock the doors. So don’t try it, okay?”

  Apate’s shoulders slumped and she pouted. “Oh what a shame. What’s the point of it then?”

  “You get a great view of London from the top. We thought you’d like it. But we can go and do something else if you want.” She checked her phone to see the time.

  “A view sounds wonderful, doesn’t it, Apate?” said Notos. “This city of yours seems so big. I’d love to see how far it stretches.”

  A look passed between the two dandrobians.

  Apate echoed, “Yes, a view sounds wonderful.”

  “Is London the main city of Earth?” Notos asked Dave.

  “No, London’s only the capital of the U.K. That’s just one country on Earth. There are lots of countries and they all have their capitals. Some are much bigger than London.”

  Notos raised an eyebrow. “Really? Oh yes, I remember now. Carrie was telling us all about it, weren’t you?”

  “Yes, at the party,” Carrie replied. “But...don’t you remember?”

  “Remember? Remember what?”

  “You were here, I think, both of you. Thousands of years ago. Your names—they’re part of our ancient history.”

  “Are they really? Well, I am surprised to hear you say that, darling. I don’t remember coming here. Do you, Apate?” His alien companion shook her head.