Marry Me

by Kristin Wallace

  “Actually, she forgot her necklace at home, so she left to go get it,” Mrs. Robinson said. “That must have been about forty minutes ago. I didn’t even notice she hadn’t come back.”

  Noelle folded the note again in precise lines, focusing on the task rather than the occupants of the room. “How could Carrie do this? And Doug? Why didn’t he tell me?”

  Mrs. Robinson choked back tears. “I don’t know.”

  Noelle finally looked up at Julia, with an almost unnatural calm “What do we do now?”

  “I’ve already told Betsy and Amy to start calling the guests,” Julia said. “Amy will tell the country club staff and the caterer to hold off.”

  “But what should I do?”

  “I think you should take all the time you need in here to let this sink in. I’ll tell everyone outside to go home, so you don’t have to answer any questions right now.”

  “All right.” Noelle released a long, slow exhale. “Do you think I could be alone?”

  Mrs. Robinson was crying openly now. “Noelle, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Just for a minute, Mom,” Noelle said, keeping her eyes trained on Julia.

  Mrs. Robinson sighed. “Okay, honey. I need to call your father and tell him what’s happened.”

  Seth gave Noelle a hug before he left. “I’m here if you need to talk to someone.”

  “Thank you, Pastor Graham.”

  Julia started to follow Seth out of the room, but Noelle called out. “Miss Richardson?”

  “Yes?”

  “Could you stay with me?”

  “Wouldn’t you be better off with your mother or a friend?” Julia asked. “Or I can call Seth back?”

  “My best friend ran off with my fiancé. I’m not too keen on friends right now,” Noelle said. “Or men. Even ones who are ministers. Plus, I think if I look at my mother right now, I’ll lose it completely.”

  Julia shut the door and stood in front of it, unsure what to do.

  “Could you help me out of this dress?” Noelle asked, her voice still sounding calm. “I can’t bear to wear it another minute.”

  “Of course.”

  Despite the row of tiny pearl buttons, the gown had a zipper. Julia lowered the fastening, and the dress slid to the floor in a silken heap. Underneath was a bustle. She untied the string at the waist, and yards of crinoline landed on top of the gown. Noelle stepped out of the garments and walked across the room.

  Julia leaned over to pick everything up, but Noelle waved a hand. “Leave everything there for now.”

  Noelle grabbed a canvas bag from the corner and pulled out jeans and a button down shirt. After she was dressed, she sank onto the settee with a weary sigh. “Carrie and Doug. How could I have missed that?”

  Julia chose a chair next to the door and sat down. “I’m sure you didn’t want to see it. You loved Doug and trusted him. You trusted them both.”

  “Carrie dated Doug in high school. They were even king and queen of the prom, but she broke it off when they went away to college. She wanted to date other guys, you know?”

  “That’s not unusual.”

  “I never looked at Doug until a couple years ago. Even then I felt guilty somehow. Like I was betraying Carrie.”

  “How did she feel about you dating her ex-boyfriend?”

  “She made good on her vow to date other guys. She stayed away after college. Got a job in Dallas. I talked to her about Doug, and she said she was happy for me. Then she moved back six months ago.”

  “Did she come home for him?”

  “She told me no. She just wanted to reconnect to her small-town roots.” Noelle blew out a harsh breath. “Stupid me.”

  “You’re not stupid, Noelle. You trusted them, and they let you down. People do that all the time unfortunately.”

  The tears Noelle has held back earlier filled her eyes. “I feel like such a fool.”

  “You’re not a fool either.”

  “I was. A fool to think someone as wonderful as Doug could ever love me.”

  “Okay, first off, Doug wouldn’t rate as wonderful in my book. He’s a jerk. A cowardly one at that. He let you prepare for this day, knowing he wasn’t going to go through with it. He arranged it so you would have to face this humiliation on your own.”

  “I guess you’re rig—”

  “I’m not done yet.”

  Noelle blinked at the blunt tone. “Okay.”

  Julia got up and started pacing. “Where was I? Oh, right. Secondly, you’re better off knowing this now, rather than figuring it out years from now when you’re stuck with a husband who doesn’t love you and kids to disappoint. This may hurt, but trust me, ending a marriage — or staying in one that’s a lie — is the most painful thing you can imagine.”

  “Have you been divorced or something?”

  “No, but I lived through my parents’ endless string of marriages. I know what can happen when you marry the wrong person and then have to tear the marriage apart. It leaves scars that never quite heal.”

  Noelle wiped a hand across her cheek as a wobbly chuckle escaped. “So, you’re saying I should be thanking him?”

  Julia’s mouth curved. “Maybe not today. Right now he’s an unmitigated — uhh, jerk.”

  “It still hurts though.”

  “Of course it does.”

  “I had so many dreams. I already knew what our kids would look like.”

  “You can still have dreams. They’ll be different than what you imagined, that’s all.”

  “Do you think I’ll find the one for me?”

  How do I answer that, when I’m not sure “the one” concept has any basis in reality?

  “I’m probably not the best person to ask,” Julia said. “I’m a cynic myself. All those scars, you know. The longest relationship I ever had lasted all of six months.”

  “Oh,” she whispered.

  I’m the worst counselor of all time. I should have lied. “Look, I assume you’re a churchgoer, right? You wouldn’t be getting married in one if you weren’t.”

  “I grew up in this church.”

  “If there’s one thing I’ve heard since I got here, it’s that everything happens for a reason. Do you believe that?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Well, then you’ve got to believe that He has a purpose for this. He has a plan for you, and if you’re meant to have a husband and family, He’ll bring them to you when the time is right.”

  Noelle took a deep breath and managed a real smile. “Thank you for reminding me of that.”

  “You mean that worked?”

  “Why are you so surprised?” Noelle asked, with a burst of genuine laughter.

  Because I’m not sure I believe a word I just said. “Don’t ask.”

  Noelle sighed and stood up. “I suppose I have to face everyone sometime.”

  “We can probably get you out of here without having to see anyone. Take you out the back.”

  “Call me a coward, but that sounds like a good idea,” Noelle said without hesitation.

  “I’ll go out and speak to Seth and Betsy. We’ll clear everybody out of the area.”

  Noelle leaned over to pick up the canvas bag. “Oh, my dress!”

  “I’ll have it packed up and sent back to your house later.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Noelle touched Julia’s arm. “No, I mean it… thank you.”

  “You’ll be fine, Noelle,” Julia said, leaning in to give the other woman a hug.

  “I hope so,” Noelle whispered.

  A few minutes later, Noelle and her mother were on their way home, and the bridal party had dispersed. Julia went about the business of canceling a wedding. It was hours before everything was settled. By then, she was about ready to collapse. Everything ached. Including her heart.

  The sun was starting to set as Julia walked outside and sank onto the front steps. She stared at the glowing orange orb as streaks of pink, pu
rple, and blue darted across the sky. As the sun dipped below the horizon, the colors started to fade. Julia wanted to burst into tears. The disappearing sun seemed to be a metaphor for her heart. Right when she was starting to believe that perhaps love wasn’t just a word used in songs, the bright colors faded, and she was left with darkness.

  ****

  Seth opened the door and stepped out into cool air. God willing, he’d never have to go through something like that again. The faces of Doug’s parents would stay in his nightmares for a long time. He gazed at the setting sun. Usually, he loved dusk. Loved the colors and the promise of a new day coming. Tonight there was no comfort.

  Movement caught his eye, and he turned to see Julia sitting on the top step. Talk about having a bad day. Throughout the afternoon he’d glimpsed Julia off and on. Each time her face had been pinched and her cheeks hollow with tension.

  Since misery loved company, he walked over and sat down next to her. “Well, that was awful. I’ve been on the phone, talking to relatives. Doug’s parents are grief-stricken. They can’t believe their son did this.”

  “I guess you don’t get many brides left at the altar here.”

  “Not that I can recall.” He reached for her hand and squeezed, his thumb drawing a soothing pattern along her palm. “How are you holding up?”

  She glanced down at their intertwined fingers, then back up at him. In that brief instant her eyes shuttered. Retreat… they screamed. Julia swallowed, as if preparing to speak, and Seth fought the urge to clamp a hand over her mouth. Whatever she planned to say, he wasn’t going to like it.

  “This isn’t going to be easy to do with you being so sweet,” she said, pulling her hand back.

  A vise clamped his heart. “Do what?”

  “Doug hurt Noelle because he couldn’t face the truth. I don’t want to be like him.”

  “Julia, don’t—”

  Two fingers pressed against his mouth. “I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you,” she said, utter devastation reflected in her blue eyes.

  With an impatient flick, he grasped her hand. “What if you didn’t hurt me?”

  “I’m not sure I could help it.”

  “When are you going to learn to have faith in yourself?”

  Julia laughed, but the sound held no amusement. “Isn’t that the issue? My lack of faith? In love, in God, in practically everything you believe? I want—” She took a deep breath, as if trying to hold her emotions in check. “I want you to be happy. You deserve that after everything you’ve been through. You deserve to have someone who shares your faith and who believes in happily ever after.”

  “I know you’re upset about what happened today.”

  “No. Well, of course it upset me. I’ve never had to break someone’s heart before, but mainly it reminded me of things I’d let myself forget. It reminded me why it would be such a bad idea to let this thing between us go any further.”

  “What if I don’t agree?”

  “I think you should go out with Amy,” Julia said in a rush, as if he hadn’t even spoken.

  Since Seth had been working up to an argument, it took a second for his brain to catch up. Confusion crowded out his growing panic. “What?”

  “You should date Amy.”

  Shock robbed him of any intelligent thought. “Amy?”

  “Amy Vining. You know, the tiny blonde with the habit of dressing like she’s going to a sock hop?”

  Anger ripped through him as he realized Julia was foisting him off on someone else. “Of course I know who Amy is.”

  “Well, do you know she loves you? That she’s wanted to be Mrs. Seth Graham practically since she was born?”

  Amy wanted to marry him? “No.”

  “How could you not know?” she asked in astonishment. “If the girl had a glowing, neon sign that said “I love Seth” blinking on her forehead, she couldn’t be more obvious.”

  “I guess I missed it.”

  “Clueless, is what you are,” she muttered.

  Seth bounced up from the step. “Why does it matter?”

  “Because I think she’d make a perfect wife for you.”

  Oh, this got better and better. “You want me to marry her, not just date her?”

  “She’s beautiful, smart, a great homemaker. Everyone in town loves her. She also shares your faith. That’s important. And did I mention she loves you? I mean totally adores and worships you?”

  “I think you mentioned that, yes. So, you’re saying you want me to date someone else? Marry someone else?”

  “I think it’s for the best.”

  Something in the defeated slump of her shoulders told him she was hurting. In her own strange way she was trying to protect him. He tamped down the urge to shake her and instead hunkered down again so he could look her in the eye. “Are you saying this because you’re scared?”

  “No, I’m saying it because I think it’s the right thing to do. Don’t you?”

  Did he? Hadn’t he been telling himself it was foolish to think he and Julia could ever have a relationship? “I don’t know. I’ve never looked at Amy that way.”

  “Try. Maybe it’s time for you to make a fresh start, and I think we both know that isn’t with me.”

  “Are you sure we know that?”

  “We should.”

  If this was so right, why did he want to scream? He bowed his head and rested his cheek on her upraised knees.

  Finally, he rocked back on his heels. “You must be exhausted.”

  A tiny lift of her shoulders was her only answer. He stood up and held out a hand. After a moment’s hesitation, she took it. He helped her to her feet. She wouldn’t look at him, but stared somewhere over his right shoulder. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

  A fist lodged in his windpipe. “Right.”

  “Bye.” She turned and walked off toward the parking lot without looking back. Without suddenly changing her mind.

  “Bye,” he echoed back.

  Chapter Eighteen

  There’s something about hearing about another person’s tragedy that makes your own problems seem like mere speed bumps, Julia thought. As she stared at the patch of grass where a man had almost lost his life, Julia told herself she shouldn’t feel like every organ in her body had been taken out and pounded into the dust with a sledgehammer. She should be grateful she was whole and healthy.

  “So, this is where you want your ceremony?” Julia asked.

  Annie Truman turned from her contemplation of the road and smiled. “You still think we’re crazy.”

  “I won’t pretend to understand why you’d want to get married where you had your car accident, but if it’s what you want—”

  “It is.”

  A shudder worked its way down her spine as Julia surveyed the road again. “It looks so peaceful. I almost can’t believe anything happened here.”

  “Sometimes it feels like it happened to someone else,” Annie said. “Of course, in a way it did. Todd and I aren’t the same people who drove around this curve that night.”

  “How did it happen?”

  “We’d gone to my sister’s birthday party. It had been raining most of the day. It started pouring as we left. My sister asked us to wait it out, but Todd had to be at work early the next morning, and I was tired. So, we started home.” Annie pointed straight ahead. “We were coming around the curve here. We’d gone down this stretch of road a million times. Only this time we hit a patch of oil and water.”

  “That’s all it took. A drop of oil.” One drop and fates changed.

  “Amazing, isn’t it?” Annie said, as if reading Julia’s mind. “I don’t recall much, except looking at Todd and laughing about something that had happened at the party. Then a jolt. The next thing I knew I was coming to in the car, upside down.”

  “The car flipped over?”

  “The police said it looked like we went into a skid, and when the car hit the grass, it flipped. We ended up right where I’m standing.” She wrappe
d her arms around herself, as if to ward off a chill. “I don’t remember much else, until I woke up. I do remember looking at Todd. There was so much blood gushing from his head. It was like one of those horror movies.”

  Julia stared at the grass under her feet, trying to picture the twisted steel. “What about you?”

  “I was fine. Barely a scratch on me. I managed to get unhooked from the seatbelt and out of the car. I was trying to get to Todd, when I heard sirens. The person in the car behind us had a cell phone, and he called 911.”

  “It was lucky help got to you so quickly.”

  “It was a miracle that other car was out on the road. Anyway, the paramedics cut him out of the car, and they took us to the hospital. Todd went into surgery. He’d sustained pretty massive head injuries.”

  “He came out of it okay, though?”

  “He survived it. Then we had to wait for him to wake up. He was in a coma for over a week. I don’t think I moved from his bed the entire time. His doctors kept telling me they didn’t know if he would ever wake up or what condition he’d be in if he did.”

  “I can’t imagine.”

  Annie’s lips trembled a little. “I’ve never felt so helpless. Then one morning I looked over, and he was staring at me. I started screaming, and everyone came running. His parents, my parents, the doctors.”

  “When did you realize he didn’t remember you?”

  “A few days later. At first it seemed like everything was fine. He was quiet, especially with me, but we all thought he was in shock. Finally, he asked if I used to sit behind him in biology. He wanted to know why I was always in his room.”

  “He didn’t remember anything?”

  Tears formed in Annie’s eyes. “He remembered some things. His childhood. His parents and his brother and sister. In fact, the only thing that seemed to be affected was the last few years. All the years we’d been together. He didn’t remember dating, falling in love, getting engaged. It was like I’d been extracted from his mind.”

  “Yet you stayed with him.”

  “I didn’t have a choice,” Annie said, with a soft smile. “I still loved Todd. I told him I was his fiancée, and he seemed to accept it. He asked endless questions. He wanted to know how we’d met, where we’d gone on dates. The food I liked, the books I read. We went on dates, and I took him to every place we’d ever been to together.”