by Glover, Dan
Billy laughed.
“Is it your house? Do you own it?”
“Oh yes… free and clear. I tried to take out a mortgage on it to pay my attorney but I have no credit history and no one would loan me any money.”
“What kind of house is it?”
“It’s a Victorian… a Queen Anne style Victorian. It is quite large… some people might even call it a mansion. It’s not far from here. Actually, I loved it when you asked me to move in here with you and I could get out of there for a while. I like the smallness of your apartment… the security. I kept having nightmares in that house. I’d raised Jem there since she was a baby and suddenly she's gone.
"Everything there reminded me of her… the place is full of secret passages and hidden staircases and Jem knew them all. She'd always pop out somewhere, laughing when she startled me. After they took her from me, I had the most terrible nightmares that she was lost somewhere in the house crying for me and no matter how hard I looked I couldn’t find her.”
Billy lay beside her very quietly, as if waiting for Lisa to continue speaking. He reached over to get a cigarette. Lighting it he offered the cigarette to Lisa and then took another for himself. He lay there staring at the ceiling for so long that Lisa thought perhaps he was angry with her for not inviting him to live in her house. When he finally spoke he surprised her once again.
“I want to help you get Jem back, Lisa. Whatever we need to do, we’ll do it. Roger lets me use this apartment as part of my pay and I don’t have many expenses so I put most of my check away each week.”
“Billy Austin, I do believe I am falling in love with you.”
She whispered to him as she nuzzled his ear, snuggling next to him, loving the way his body seemed to fit into hers like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle she had been looking for all her life.
“Do you think you’ll love Jem too, Billy?”
“How could I help but love her? I mean, the way I feel about you, Lisa, I know that I'll love her too. I couldn’t help but love her. She’s part of you and I love you, Lisa. You know that.”
“Yes, I do know that. And I love you too, Billy Austin.”
Chapter 24—Yelena’s Secret
Roger didn’t seem angry, just concerned
“You know I think the world of you Billy, but you need to pay a little more attention to the cleaning in the kitchen. It’s important that we keep it clean as possible.”
Billy knew he’d been avoiding going into the back where Yelena worked, usually waiting until her shift was over. By that time, the dinner crowd was starting and the kitchen was too busy to work in… he’d get in the way. So the work never got done. Roger spoke the truth… he had been neglectful.
“Yes, sir… I’ll start spending more time in there. I’m sorry, Roger. I’ll start today.”
“Hi Yelena.”
Billy entered the kitchen with a pail of soapy water, a sponge, and the intention of washing the walls top to bottom. He saw the old woman working at the center island preparing sandwiches for the lunch crowd.
“I’m going to be scrubbing in here this morning… just tell me if I’m in your way and I can do something else.”
“Billy! I am glad to see you.”
Yelena talked as she worked. She seemed unduly excited over something.
“I understand you and Lisa are seeing each other now. She is such a nice girl. She reminds me of someone I knew and loved many years ago.”
“Yes we are.”
Billy started his work and talk over his shoulder as he washed down the wall opposite where Yelena worked.
“She moved into my apartment a couple weeks ago.”
“This is wonderful… right? Are you happy? Is she happy?”
“Well, I don’t know… Lisa says I’m too much like a little boy. She says I remind her of a child who’s afraid of losing his mother, always hanging onto her apron strings so she doesn’t get too far away.”
“When I was a young girl in Russia I knew a boy who acted like that. He loved to play… never taking anything serious.”
“What happened to him?”
“I married him.”
A sad smile cracked her face.
“We were only together a short while before the army took Ivan and I never saw him again. When I first met you, Billy, I thought… oh! This boy is like my Ivan Ivanoff.”
Even though his back was to the old woman Billy felt his face go red.
“The thing is, Yelena… I don’t want to lose Lisa.”
“You want to make your young woman happy, right, Billy Austin?”
“Yes, Yelena… I do… but I don’t know how. I know I need to start acting like an adult but I don’t know how to do that. Where do I start?”
“Give me your hand. Let me touch you… maybe I can tell you how.”
Billy put down his sponge, walked over to her, and put his hand out. Yelena indicated he should put it down on the table where she was working by putting her hand there first, palm upward. He imitated her. She brushed her fingers over the palm of his hand barely touching him and she shuddered.
“You smother your love when you grip it too tight. You feel afraid Lisa will not be there for you. You don’t know if she is real or a dream. Wake up, Billy. Wake up and let go of the dreams. This is your real life. While you stumble through your dancing visions, hell is approaching and you do not see.”
“I don’t understand…”
“Oh yes you do.”
Yelena assured him with her gentle voice while still brushing the palm of his hand with hers.
“If Lisa leaves someone else will appear. Allison Johns watches you, waiting. She knows her mistake but she loves Lisa and does not wish to hurt her by seeing you, her man. Allison loves you too, Billy. You and she will one day be great friends.”
“You told us that when you introduced us…”
“And it is so… Allison is waiting for her time with you, Billy Austin… treat your pretty women as equals. Let them know you appreciate them. Buy toilet paper when it is low. Cook them meal when they are hungry. Rub their feet when they ache. They do these things for you. Do them for your women as well. Be a man, Billy. They will love you always.”
“I can do that…”
Billy found himself murmuring more to himself than to Yelena.
“Of course you can. Billy, let me tell you about my husband… not my first husband, the one who’s name I still carry and who I still love, Ivan Ivanoff… no… let me tell you about my second husband… my American husband. I never took his name… when we were married I said no, I am Yelena Ivanoff and Yelena Ivanoff I will stay.”
Yelena made like she wanted to spit on the floor.
“He never talked to me. He said, Yelena… fix me supper you fucking bitch. And then he ate like pig in front of the television like I was not there. I had to clean up his slop. He said, Yelena… lay on the bed spread your legs and let me fuck you. Boom, boom, boom. One minute later he snored so loudly I have to leave room. He say, Yelena… dress up and come with me so I can show you off to my friends and they all see what a pretty wife I have. When I try to say something to his friends he said shut up Yelena. You are just a stupid woman. Stand there and look pretty. That is all you are good for. I hated that man. I left him sick and alone and never went back.
“You can be better a man than that. You have a good heart, Billy Austin. Do little things. They add up to big things. You can start today… you can start right now. Buy her something pretty… a rose, a silk scarf, a piece of candy she might like… it does not matter what. Just buy it and give it to her and she will love you for it. Do this every day, Billy. And when Allison comes into your life—and I promise she will—do the same for her. She is a wonderful girl and she has suffered so much… Lisa has suffered too. Make them happy and you will be happy.”
“That makes sense, Yelena… thank you. I remember as a boy we lived in a building where a man kept a wolf in a cage out back. I thought the wolf was a dog for a
long time until my father told me to keep away from that wolf. I said what wolf and he said I knew what wolf and not to be stupid or he’d take off his belt. My father stayed drunk most times though so I ignored him.
"I remember a high fence around the yard but I would climb through a small hole in it just big enough for a boy like me and bring that old wolf scraps of food every day… he seemed so skinny. He’d eat them up in a few seconds and look for more and I would tell him I’m sorry that’s all I have. Sometimes I would dream I turned into that wolf, locked in a cage for something I didn’t do and there was no way out.”
“You are that wolf, Billy Austin. I saw it the first day we met. Those offerings you brought to your wolf, those were offerings for your soul. One day you will see. Until then, remember… as you brought your wolf offerings each day, bring them to Lisa and to Allison. They are offerings for your soul. These are bright things… happy things. But there is more…
“Darkness approaches, Billy Austin. We must be ready… you and I. Allison is a wonderful girl… you and she will be great friends… but she brings danger with her… not intentionally… but still it approaches. You are a strong man… I feel it. You have a brightness inside you… the other man has only darkness. You know this man though you do not remember him. And he knows you. He will try to take advantage of his knowledge about you… be ready, Billy Austin.”
“I don’t understand what you mean…”
Billy was alarmed now wishing that Roger hadn’t insisted he clean the kitchen while Yelena was still there.
"Do you mean Alex?"
“What did I say, Billy?”
Yelena wondered, as if coming out of a deep sleep.
“You said darkness approaches… that Allison brings danger with her.”
“Heed my words, Billy Austin. Once I say them I no longer remember what I said. You must be ready… it is fading now… oh, it’s gone.”
Chapter 25—Tom Rides to the Rescue
“Hey… stop that. You fellows ought to be ashamed.”
When Billy glanced up from his work he saw a big Indian—an older man with long white hair flowing over his shoulders but nevertheless looking as though he could handle himself, with muscular arms and a defiant gait—walking towards him with his hand outstretched.
“I’m Tom Three Deer. These fellows shouldn’t give you any more trouble, but if they do, let me know. I’ll take care of it… personally.”
Shaking his head slowly while holding his chin high with his hands akimbo he looked down at the group of men who'd been hazing Billy as if daring any of them to say anything, but not one dared return his gaze. From that night on, no one made any more messes on purpose.
“You’re Billy… right?”
“Yes… my name’s Billy Austin. Roger hired me to clean the tavern at night. I live upstairs.”
"Come on over here, Billy. Let's talk. Roger won't mind."
Tom seemed a like a fire on a mountain to Billy… ready to crash down on anyone who gave him or those he considered his friends trouble. Lightening flashed in Tom’s eyes and his words were distant thunder, menacing and yet comforting at the same time. Billy remembered one the soothing things from his childhood was to listen to the storms rage across Oklahoma… the way they’d move slowly in and then back out again. That was Tom Three Deer; the coming of fire and thunder.
“You look as if you have some blood in you.”
“Blood?”
Billy wondered what Tom meant by that.
“Indian blood… you look like you’re part Indian. I’m Oglala Lakota… I was born on the Pine Ridge reservation in South Dakota a long time ago. When I was ten years old I moved here to California with my family.”
“Are you ever home-sick?”
“Oh yes, I'm still home-sick, but more so in my younger days. When I got old enough I made a trip back to Pine Ridge with my cousin, Tonkala. Everyone calls him Mouse but I call him by his Lakota name. Tonkala means mouse in Lakota. I didn’t remember Pine Ridge as being such a sad place. The people there are so poor… I mean they live in utter poverty and there's no hope for anything better. I guess when a person grows up that way they don’t notice it as much. Being away and then returning really brought it home to me. We only stayed a couple days and we left and came back here. I’ve never had a hankering to go there again. I write about it though.”
"Oh, you're a writer! What do you write about?"
"Indians… I write about my people, my ancestors. When I was a kid I met an old man on the reservation who told me hundreds of stories. I promised him one day I would tell those stories too. That's what I do with my writing. I try and tell our story."
“I’m a quarter Cherokee, according to my daddy. I’m from Oklahoma. My daddy claimed to be a half-breed… I remember him saying he didn’t belong in either world… white or Indian. So he drank. At least he drank before he left us… after that, I don’t know what he did. He might still be alive… but I think not.”
“My daddy drank too… that’s what killed him. They found him dead in a gutter… wild dogs had chewed on his face so no one could recognize him. They had to identify him by the tattoos on his arms.”
Tom looked down as remembering things better forgotten. And then he looked up at Billy with lightening in his eyes.
“You ever do any ranching, Billy?”
“No, not really… at least I don’t remember ever doing any… why?”
“My father had a ranch when I was a boy. It wasn’t much but it had been in my father’s family for many years and we were happy there… we raised some fine horses and ponies and we grew our own food. The army took it away from us when I was six years old. Things were never the same after that.”
“That’s not right.”
Billy stood shaking his head.
“Did the army pay your family for the ranch?”
“They sent my father a check once a month. That’s what he used to drink with. When he died the checks stopped coming.”
“That’s sad. It isn’t right that the army did that to your family. You must hate them.”
“Well, I did for a long time. In my mind I associated all white people with the army. I hated all the whites. And then I realized that the hate I harbored didn't get me anywhere. So one day I quit the hating. I do much better these days… except for men who bully people trying to do their job. It helped that I met a pretty white woman and married her, of course.
"When I grew up I decided I wanted a ranch of my own. I bought a few acres of land and built a house on it and a barn. Later I added more land. And now I own my own ranch… it’s just outside of town. It makes me feel as if I have something of my father’s… it’s the only thing I have of his… a dream… sometimes I wake up and I am back on our old ranch in South Dakota and my mother is in the kitchen making fry bread for breakfast. But then I remember… but still, I have something now that will stay in my family after I’m gone. I’m proud of that.”
“All I have is an old bible that belonged to my father. It’s not much but it has pictures in it that belonged to him.”
“That’s something to treasure, Billy. Our heritage is all we Indians have.”
“How big is your ranch, Tom?”
“I am thinking you might like to come by sometime and take a look at it. I’ll show you around and you can see for yourself how big it is. I have horses. Maybe we could go riding together.”
“I’ve never been on a horse.”
Billy's interest piqued at the thought.
“What day does Roger let you off here? And don’t tell me he makes you work every day or he and I will have words.”
“Sunday, mostly… I’m off during the day. I come in later at night to help Roger close.”
Billy smiled at Tom’s look of consternation.
“I don’t mind… I like working with Roger. He reminds me of an owl… the way he blinks and the things he says. He’s like a father I never had but always wanted.”
“Come by on Sunda
y morning. And bring Lisa. You're seeing her, right?"
"Yes I am. How did you know that?"
"Gossip… this place is good for that. Anyway, my wife Michelle wants to see her again… they met at Roger's Christmas party last year. I told her about you two getting together; she wants to meet you. We’ll all go on a picnic. We’ll saddle up some horses and make a day of it… what do you say?”
“I say yes.”
Billy liked this man… not because he stood up for him against the bullying but because he reminded him of someone he once knew although he couldn’t quite place who. An ancient warrior carved of stone from the heart of a mountain peak Tom Three Deer acted at odds with the white man’s world and yet seemed at peace with it too.
“Lisa will be surprised… she wants to get out more. Thank you, Tom… for everything.”
"Don't mention it, Billy. We all need a friend, someone who has our back. We'll see you on Sunday."
Billy thought back on all the bullying he endured as a boy, and now, as a man. He remembered his teachers watching the other kids tease him for smelling bad, for wearing tattered clothing only a homeless person might wear. Though he looked to them for assistance many times the adults joined right in with the kids. In fact, he couldn’t remember anyone sticking up for him the way Tom did tonight.
"I met someone tonight, Lisa. He said he knows you."
They lay under the covers pressed so close in Billy's single bed that he didn’t dare move for fear of Lisa falling.
"What's his name?"
"Tom Three Deer... he invited us to his ranch on Sunday."
"Oh yes, I know Tom. He never talks to me. I'm not sure he likes me."
"Well, he must like you enough to want me to invite you to come along. He knows we're seeing each other. So, do you want to go?"
"I do! I swear, Billy Austin, I love how you are full of surprises. Speaking of I do, you really ought to marry me, you know."
Chapter 26—Father Knows Best
"You're more of a father to me than mine ever was."
Oscuro had grown quite fond of the old man even if Kirk seemed more demented than he. They sat together in Kirk's luxury RV enjoying a third bottle of good California cognac.
