EG01 - When One Door Closes

by Joan Jonker

  ‘How’s it goin’ then, Vera?’ When Vera related the story, Eileen made all the right noises, as though it was the first time she’d heard it. ‘So he hasn’t mentioned it at all, since?’

  ‘Not a word! I don’t know whether it’ll last, but the funny thing is, I don’t feel frightened of him any more.’

  ‘I should bloody well think not!’ Eileen’s snort was like that of a raging bull. ‘You stick up for yourself! Don’t yer take nothing from him!’

  Mary came into the room at that moment struggling into her coat. ‘I’ve missed it all now! I’ll slip in tomorrow, Vera, and you can tell me everything.’

  There was a look of pure innocence on Eileen’s face as she asked Harry, ‘Are yer comin’ to the ’ossie with us?’

  Mary got in quickly, her eyes sending urgent messages to Eileen. ‘Harry doesn’t want to be bothered! He’s probably got better things to do!’

  ‘I haven’t, as a matter of fact! I was going for a pint, but I’d rather go and see your mam.’

  ‘How about you, Vera?’ Eileen asked. ‘Would you like to come, too?’

  ‘I’d love to, but there’s no one to mind the baby.’ Vera kissed the top of Carol’s head. ‘The boys are too young to leave her with.’

  ‘Your feller’s home, isn’t he? Let ’im mind her for a few hours.’

  ‘I wouldn’t ask! I couldn’t trust him with her!’

  ‘My mam would mind Carol,’ suggested Harry. ‘She’d be made up having a baby to fuss over.’

  ‘I couldn’t.’ Vera’s bravado was slipping under the challenge. ‘Danny’s going to work and I’ve got his carry out to do.’

  ‘Bloody hell, woman, what’s the matter with yer? Just you get in there an’ tell him yer comin’ to the ’ospital with us, and tell him to do his own carry out.’ Eileen pulled Carol from Vera’s arms. ‘Get going, while Harry goes and see his mam.’

  ‘He won’t let her come with us!’ Mary faced Eileen when they were alone. ‘Not after the other night.’

  ‘I think yer wrong! He won’t have the guts to refuse when … ’ Eileen shut up when Harry’s smiling face rounded the door. ‘Is it OK with yer mam?’

  ‘She’s tickled pink! She’s standing by the door, waiting!’

  Mary’s lips were clenched as she shook her head. ‘Your mam won’t be seeing the baby! Danny won’t let her come with us after what happened.’

  Carol’s infectious laugh filled the air as Eileen tickled her tummy, and there was a catch in the big woman’s voice as she asked, ‘How could anyone hurt her! If she was mine, I’d love the bones of her.’

  Four sets of eyes turned when Vera walked in wearing her best coat and a smile that lit up her face. ‘That belt you gave him must have affected his brain.’ She grinned at Harry. ‘He was as meek as a kitten! I told him to do his own carry out, and he just asked what there was to put on the bread!’

  Lizzie Sedgemoor held her arms out and Carol reached for her. She didn’t understand what was going on, but she did recognise a friendly face. ‘Don’t hurry back,’ Lizzie told Vera. ‘Me and George will take care of her.’

  ‘Gerra load of yer mam’s face,’ Eileen whispered. ‘She thinks she’s seein’ things.’

  Martha was thrilled. It was only supposed to be two visitors to a bed, but she didn’t care. She was so happy to see her daughter surrounded by friends, and when a little niggle at the back of her head reminded her that two of the friends didn’t know about the baby yet, Martha pushed it aside. Vera and Harry weren’t the type to turn against Mary when they found out.

  ‘Who’s got Carol?’ This was Martha’s first thought. God forbid she’d been left with Danny.

  ‘It’s all right, me mam’s minding her,’ Harry answered. ‘She’ll be getting spoilt right now … me mam and dad always wanted a daughter.’

  Martha couldn’t suppress a smile when she turned to Eileen. You couldn’t see the hospital chair under her enormous bulk, and Eileen appeared to be sitting on air. She returned Martha’s smile as she rummaged in her pocket and brought out a small slab of Cadbury’s chocolate. Sliding it across the bed, she spoke out of the side of her mouth in an imitation of an American gangster. ‘Hide it, kid!’ When Martha went to protest, thinking she was depriving the Gillmoss children of their sweet rations, Eileen stopped her. ‘Don’t worry! I know the feller in the sweet shop.’

  ‘Is there anyone you don’t know?’ Harry asked.

  ‘If there is, sonny, then he ain’t worth knowin’!’ Eileen gave him a cheeky wink as Mary said, ‘She wonders where young Billy gets his mischief from! He takes after his mam!’

  ‘I’ll tell yez what.’ Eileen nodded her head knowingly. ‘When our Billy’s older, he’ll knock spots off them spivs down in Cazneau Street market! I can see him now, standing on a street corner with a ciggie hanging out of the side of his mouth, wearing a long camel coat, a trilby ’at pulled down over his eyes, and floggin’ black market watches.’

  ‘He’ll end up rich, then, won’t he?’ Harry asked, his eyes bright with laughter.

  ‘He’ll need to, to keep himself in kecks!’ Every head in the ward turned when Eileen’s laugh erupted. ‘I know I can’t!’

  ‘I’ve told you to get him a pair of corrugated iron ones,’ Harry said. ‘Even your Billy’s not tough enough to wear them out.’

  ‘D’yer wanna bet!? He’s ripped the arse out of the pair I bought him last week, sliding down the railway embankment.’

  Four sets of eyebrows raised when Vera started to laugh. It was a high-pitched laugh, broken off at intervals while she noisily drew breath. Tears of laughter ran down her cheeks, and as she wiped them away she looked at the big woman she’d known by sight for years, and had always thought of her as being common and loud mouthed. Now she was seeing her as a warm, friendly, and very funny woman. ‘You’re a proper case, you are!’

  ‘You’ll get used to her in time, Vera.’ There was genuine affection in Harry’s eyes as they rested on Eileen. ‘But too much of her can damage your health. She needs to be taken in small doses.’

  Eileen squared her shoulders, thrusting out her enormous bust. ‘There’s nowt small about me, sonny! Come up and see me sometime, an’ I’ll show yer!’

  ‘Ooh, I’ll take your word for it, Eileen! You’re too much of a woman for me!’

  ‘Well, go on,’ Martha asked eagerly. ‘What about Billy’s trousers?’

  Eileen grinned at the memory. ‘I told him I didn’t have any coupons left for a new pair, and he’d have to go to school in one of our Joan’s gymslips. He thought I meant it, an’ yer should have seen his face! He kept eyeing our Joan’s gymslip with a gleam in his eye, an’ I don’t know how I kept me face straight!’ Eileen’s gaze swept round the rapt faces of her audience. ‘I asked him if he was going to have pains in his tummy so he wouldn’t have to go to school, an’ d’yer know what the cheeky monkey said? He grinned, as bold as brass, and said, “No, I’m gonna have a sore throat!”’

  The half hour flew by and disappointment was written on Vera’s face. For the first time in three years she’d felt her old self again. Laughing and talking to nice people … she couldn’t remember the last time it happened.

  Mary, Vera and Harry were still talking about Eileen as they walked up their street. ‘She’s so funny!’ Vera chuckled. ‘I haven’t laughed so much in years.’

  ‘She’s a smashing person,’ Mary said. ‘She’d give you her last ha’penny.’

  Vera’s high laugh rang out in the silent street. ‘That’s if she hadn’t spent it on a new pair of kecks for their Billy!’ She’d stopped automatically outside her own front door, then remembered she had to pick Carol up. ‘I’ll get the baby, then see how the land lies at home.’

  Six steps on and they were outside Mary’s. Harry would have lingered but Vera was anxious to get home now … butterflies were starting in her tummy in case Danny’s mood was merely a lull before the storm. ‘I’ll come in again with you to see your mam, Mary.’

&nbs
p; ‘OK! Ta-ra Vera, ta-ra Harry.’

  ‘See you in work later, Mary! Goodnight!’ Harry would have skipped the few yards to his front door. He was so happy he felt like a seventeen-year-old after his first kiss. But he straightened his face before following Vera into the living room. If he went in grinning like a Cheshire cat his mam would think he’d gone barmy.

  Carol was sitting on George’s knee, catching a coloured ball that Lizzie threw to her. She looked happy and contented and Vera let out a sigh of relief. She wouldn’t stay for a cup of tea … nervous about the reception waiting for her at home.

  Lizzie walked to the front door with Vera, and when she came back she cocked an eyebrow at Harry. ‘Not going for a pint tonight?’

  ‘No! I’ll have to be getting ready for work soon.’

  George lowered his newspaper. ‘Isn’t it about time you found yourself a steady girlfriend and settled down?’

  Harry grinned. ‘I’m waiting for the right one to come along.’

  ‘She’s a long time coming,’ Lizzie said dryly. ‘I’m beginning to think I’ll have to knit you one.’

  ‘It sounds as though you and me dad want to get rid of me!’

  Lizzie reached for her knitting needles. ‘We just want to see you settled down, that’s all.’

  Harry glanced around the room. ‘Where’s the morning paper? I haven’t had a chance to look at it.’

  George folded the Echo. ‘Your mam’s given it to next door. You can have this, son, and I’ll read it when you’ve gone to work.’

  Harry put the folded paper under his arm. ‘I’ll lie on the bed and read it.’

  Harry threw the unopened paper on a chair and lay on the bed. The paper had been an excuse to get to the privacy of his own room. He crossed his arms behind his head and a smile started as he re-lived every second of the last two hours. Every word Mary had spoken, every gesture, every expression on her beautiful face; all were imprinted on his mind. Eileen had done her bit by getting them together tonight, but she couldn’t do that very often. He’d have to think of something himself. And he didn’t have a lot of time. Once Mary had the baby, and the gossip had died down, she wouldn’t need him. And he was under no illusions. If he was to get anywhere with Mary, it would only be because she saw him as a way out. But he didn’t care! He wanted her so badly he didn’t care what her reasons were. But how was he going to get close to her if he never saw her outside work?

  Chapter Fifteen

  ‘Hang on a minute till I get me breath.’ The springs in the worn-out couch creaked as Eileen fell back, her breathing loud and heavy. Her legs were wide apart and her knickers could be seen just above the dimpled knees. ‘This hot weather’s no good for me.’ She pulled the neck of her dress forward and blew down the valley between her breasts. ‘Ooh, that feels good! Now, how did yer get on at Oxford Street?’

  With a smile of smug satisfaction, Mary dipped her hand into her bag and brought out a card. ‘I told you I would, didn’t I?’

  ‘Well, you jammie bugger!’ Eileen gazed at the large heading on the card. Oxford Street Maternity Hospital. ‘Your face would get yer the parish!’

  ‘I don’t need to go back till the week after Christmas, but I’ve got to see Doctor Greenfield every fortnight for a check-up.’ Mary returned the precious card to her bag. ‘They warned me they might not have a bed for me when the time comes, but I’ll worry about that when it happens.’ She stretched the fingers of her left hand and laughed nervously. ‘I kept me hand out of sight because all the other women had wedding rings on.’

  ‘Get yerself a ring from Woolies, yer daft nit! They only cost a tanner and no one would know the difference.’

  ‘It’s not so bad walking round without a ring now, but when I’m as big as some of the women at the clinic today, I’ll feel ashamed.’

  ‘I won’t mind walking down the road with yer when yer eight months, kid! Yer’ll be waddlin’ like me! The difference is, you’ll be gettin’ rid of your fat while I’m lumbered with mine.’

  ‘I couldn’t imagine you any different.’ Mary eyed the mousey, limp hair, the fat, rosy cheeks that were creased into laughter lines, the old grey swagger coat that was worn summer and winter. ‘You wouldn’t be the same old Eileen!’

  ‘No! Fat and jolly, that’s me!’ Eileen sighed. ‘I’m glad you’ve got some good news, kid, because our Rene came this morning with bad news. Alan’s in hospital down South, an’ he’s had his right arm amputated.’

  ‘Oh, my God!’ Mary gasped. ‘Isn’t that terrible!’

  ‘Our Rene’s out of her mind! She wanted to go down to him, but Mr Crowley told her not to. How the ’ell he finds things out I’ll never know, but he said Alan will be getting transferred to a hospital up here soon.’ Eileen pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Me bloody head’s killing me! There seems to be nowt but trouble these days.’

  ‘D’you want a drink?’

  ‘I could murder a cup of tea, kid! I’ve got a sore throat with tryin’ not to cry. Can yer imagine the size of me, and every time I looked at our Rene I felt like bawlin’ me head off.’

  ‘It’s a person’s heart that cries, Eileen, and the bigger the heart the bigger the tears.’

  ‘Oh, go and make the bloody tea before I start blabberin’! All I need is a bit of sympathy an’ I’ll be off!’

  Eileen was more serious than Mary had ever seen her. ‘It doesn’t bear thinking about! Alan used his right hand all the time in work, so what’s he goin’ to do now?’

  ‘Better to have Alan back without an arm than never have him back at all.’ A tear rolled down Mary’s cheeks. ‘I wouldn’t care what was wrong with Bob if I could just have him back. Tell Rene she’s one of the lucky ones.’

  Eileen plodded up the road, deep in thought. Perhaps she shouldn’t have told Mary about Alan … she had enough trouble. Then again, hearing about someone else’s problems might take her mind off her own.

  ‘Hello, Eileen.’

  Eileen jumped. ‘Bloody hell, Harry! Yer nearly gave me a heart attack!’

  Harry moved nervously from one foot to the other. ‘I know I’m acting ridiculous for someone of my age, so don’t start being funny.’

  ‘Who’s bein’ funny?’ Eileen squinted up at him. ‘What yer doin’ hanging round here?’

  ‘I saw you passing the window on your way to Mary’s and I knew you wouldn’t be long.’

  ‘Well, I know yer not hanging round to ask the state of me health, so what are yer after?’

  ‘I want to talk to you about Mary.’

  ‘Oh, my God! We’re not on about that again, are we? Yer a big boy now, an’ yer don’t need me to hold yer hand.’ Eileen tutted. ‘If yer want to ask anything, then ask Mary!’

  ‘D’you think I’d be standing here now if I had the nerve to ask her meself?’

  ‘For cryin’ out loud, Harry, if yer want to do anything, then for God’s sake do it, an’ we can all get some peace!’

  Harry dug his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. ‘Easier said than done.’

  He made to move away and Eileen grabbed his arm. ‘Do yer mam and dad know how yer feel about Mary?’

  ‘I’ll tell them when there’s something to tell. But they won’t put me off! It’s my life and God knows I’m old enough to know what I want.’

  ‘Strong words, Harry! But it’s action you want, not words.’

  Harry opened his mouth, then thought better of it. He walked to the pub on the corner and leaned against the bar. Eileen was right! It was action that was needed now.

  When Mary opened the door at six o’clock and saw Harry standing on the step looking pale, she thought something was wrong. ‘What’s up?’

  Almost losing his nerve, Harry started to say he’d come about painting the ceiling. Then he steeled himself. If he didn’t do it now he never would. ‘Can I have a word with you?’

  Mary felt his tension as he passed. There was definitely something wrong but it couldn’t be her mam because she’d seen he
r a couple of hours ago. Harry made straight for Martha’s chair, so Mary sat on the couch. She’d been changing the bedclothes and a couple of feathers hung from her hair. Her eyes were questioning but she didn’t speak and the silence was deafening. In the end she lost her patience. ‘What is it, Harry?’

  ‘I don’t know where to start.’ Harry ran a hand through his hair. ‘It probably isn’t the right time or place, or even the right way to say it, but it’s the only way I know. Will you marry me, Mary?’

  Mary had been sitting on the edge of the couch leaning forward. Now she sprang back, putting as much distance between them as possible. Her back was pressed against the couch and her mouth gaped open in surprise. When he saw her reaction, Harry’s heart sank. But he’d come so far, he had to carry on.

  ‘Will you marry me, Mary?’

  ‘Marry you?’ Mary’s voice was shrill. ‘Are you crazy?’

  ‘I’ve always been crazy about you! I never stood a chance before, but now I’m asking for that chance.’

  ‘There must be something wrong with you.’ Mary was staring at him in disbelief. ‘I don’t want to marry you!’

  ‘Hear me out … please?’

  Mary was shaking her head from side to side, her hands covering her ears to blot out the sound of Harry’s voice. Frightened by the wild look in her eyes, he stood up. It was the movement that made Mary look up at him, and although she couldn’t hear his voice, she could read his lips. He was asking her to listen to him, but she waved her hand, telling him to go.

  ‘Just hear me out, then I’ll go.’ Harry sat down again. ‘I know you don’t love me, but I love you. I always have done. And I think you could come to care for me in time. If you married me I could look after you and your mam.’

  Mary’s head was screaming, tell him … tell him! He’ll go away then! He wouldn’t want to be in the same room as you, never mind asking you to marry him. Her heart was thumping as the words raced round in her head, but shame stopped her from blurting them out.