Hardin's Dilemma

by A.S. Morrison

corner at a table where we thought we wouldn’t be overheard. I told Mama what the president and Gilik had said when I got back from the office. She had a disgruntled look on her face for the rest of the day.

  “I can’t believe that they want to send you back in.” She said after we had settled into our seats.

  “I know.” I whispered. “This whole situation could have been resolved by meeting with the Dizurians face to face and finding out why they are doing this.”

  “He must think it’s too dangerous.”

  “He’s afraid,” I said a little too loudly, “he’s afraid that if someone from here gets killed then everybody will find out what’s going on and a huge war will start with Dizuria.”

  “That does make sense.” Nara said. “He has a giant country to worry about.”

  “And two more that are soon to be wiped off the map.” I added.

  Nara continued patiently. “Yes, but don’t you remember how this whole thing started? Two countries starting a war that ended up destroying them.”

  “I just want the Humuroms and Bozlins out.”

  “No, you want revenge.”

  I scoffed at the idea even though she was correct. “They’ve killed so many.”

  “And how is killing more going to help?”

  I couldn’t answer that without seeming heartless so I didn’t.

  Our drinks came. I only got water. The waitress took our order and went off to give it to whoever took it after that. I assumed the cook.

  “They’re planning something.” I whispered when we were alone again.

  “What makes you think that?” Mama asked.

  “Think about it Mama, the number of deaths skyrocketed after Milton was killed.”

  She mulled it over for a while. “Maybe it was the cases.”

  She was referring to the cases Milton and I stole from a guard while hunting almost a year earlier. It was strange that a Dizurian guard would be standing all alone in the middle of nowhere with a case of food and a case of guns, but that’s what happened. I needed to thank that man, whoever he was. Because of those cases Milton and I got to be heroes just for a night.

  “I doubt some meat and a few guns caused it.”

  Nara wagged her finger in my direction. “I’ve heard that the president will send somebody there finally. That should take care of that.”

  “He won’t send anybody until after me and Orin get back. If we get back.”

  Mama grew stern. “Don’t say that, Hardy.”

  “Sorry.” I mumbled.

  “The president knows what he is doing.” Nara assured us. “You have to trust him.”

  I slouched down in despair and rested my chin on the table. “I miss when I could decide things. If I had my way I would have sent people in already to get everyone out. I feel like I don’t control anything anymore. It’s so frustrating.”

  “That’s the thing you have to deal with when you become a part of a larger group.”

  “I wish I didn’t have to deal with any of this. Right before I left the bunker the last time I wanted nothing to do with that place.”

  “Then why not leave Wall City and let others handle it?” Nara asked.

  I sat up. “Because there was something in what Matilik said that still gets to me. Remember when I told you about that? He said that he was trying to save Humurom by keeping us in there. Well I want to save it by getting them out. The end of Humurom is coming. It’s up to us to decide whether it’s by slowly dying in a bunker or slowly assimilating out here. I’ll take the latter any day.”

  Nara looked at me sadly, as if not sure whether to pity me or agree with what I said. “So would anybody in that situation. But sometimes the choice isn’t up to us. Sometimes we only get a tiny opening and have to do what we can with that. This is your opening Hardin. And if you really want to do what you say then you have to make the most of it.”

  I nodded slowly, letting her opinion sink in. “I’ll try, but it’s going to be hard to get Matilik on my side.”

  Mama smiled at me from across the table. “If anybody can do it it’s you. You made the plan that got us all here in the first place.”

  “Yeah, but this is different. The interesting thing is that my original idea was to take everyone out at once and hope for the best with no real destination. It was foolish then, but now that we have a destination it might work.”

  Mama’s smile broadened. “How things can change in a year.”

  I definitely agreed with that. “It seems so long ago now. It’s weird to think that I was discussing that with Milton just a year ago.”

  Our food came and we ate as if we hadn’t in a week. The conversation grew lighter as we talked about the weather. I for one couldn’t wait for spring to come. I was so tired of all the cold.

  The restaurant slowly cleared out as evening turned to night. I looked around at the people left, wanting to make sure that they were out of ear shot. Someone caught my eye walking straight towards us. It was Orin.

  “How did you find us?” I asked as he approached.

  “Mr. Jess told me. I’ve come up with the plan. Where do you want me to tell you about it?”

  I looked around again; no one was close enough to hear. “Here’s good.”

  “Is it safe?”

  “I think so.”

  He sat beside me, greeted Nara and Mama, and began. “I want to leave early tomorrow morning before we lose our nerve. We will sneak through the forest and hopefully get to Bozlin sometime tomorrow afternoon. We’ll spend the night there.”

  “Wait.” I interrupted. “Spend the night in Bozlin? They will never let me in.”

  “I’ll make sure they do.” He said casually. “We’ll get you an outfit like they wear.”

  “I don’t know about this.” I said nervously.

  Even though I knew the Bozlins weren’t the ones killing the Humurom hunters I still had an uneasy feeling about them. Especially since they still thought that the Humurom’s were killing them. I doubted that one young Bozlin could convince the rest of them that I was not a representative of years of fear and anguish.

  “It’ll be fine. Now after we find out how things are around there you’ll head to Humurom and see if you can get some people out. We’ll meet up again in Bozlin where I will have hopefully convinced everyone to leave. And from there we will come back here.”

  “How long do you think this will take?” Mama asked.

  “Hopefully just a couple of days.”

  “I hope that’s all.” Mama said quietly.

  “It will be.” I promised.

  Orin got up from the table. “Meet me at the wall just before dawn. I’ll have everything ready.”

  He walked towards the exit, leaving us to ponder.

  “I guess this will be my last good meal for a while.” I said longingly to my now empty plate.

  Nara put her hand up for the waitress to see. “Which is why I’m going to buy you desert.”

  That night I went around the block a few times outside the government building. It was my usual ritual when I had too much on my mind. I couldn’t get over how fast everything was suddenly moving. Just that morning I was complaining about things going too slowly.

  I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad that I had to go back in. I was glad that I had a chance to do something productive, but scared that we would run into Dizurians that could take us out without any trouble. And what if the Humurom’s actually did decide to come with me? So many would be killed trying to escape. Dizuria would know Azureland is a part of it just by seeing all the people heading for the wall. But maybe that was a good thing. If we got Dizuria to get Azureland involved then maybe a war would start and Dizuria would be wiped off the map and not Bozlin and Humurom.

  My mind couldn’t take much more of this. I tried to wipe it clean of everything that worried me. Of course it didn’t work but I did manage to focus on the good. If I coul
d get Humurom through the wall then my job was done. I could leave Wall City for a Journey Ship and let the leaders resolve the rest.

  I looked up and found myself at the government building again. I put my head back to see the huge building set aglow in the night by countless lights coming through windows hundreds of feet above my head. I was finally safe there, and I would be again as soon as I got back.

  IV

  I had a hard time sleeping that night. As soon as my head hit the soft pillows all the good I had been thinking of vanished, replaced by images of my bloody and torn body lying in the forest only feet from the wall. I dreamed of people screaming while I could do nothing to help them. It was a dream I had frequently, but never so stirring and real. I got up several times hoping that I heard a knock on the door with someone on the other side ready to tell me that an army would be traveling with us. No such luck.

  The clock next to the couch I slept on began to buzz obnoxiously at 5:00. I wanted so badly to toss it out the window, but since I didn’t know how to open the window that wouldn’t work. I found some fruit in the little refrigerator we had and I ate that. When it was gone my stomach protested for more. I had eaten too much since being in Wall City and now my stomach forgot what it was like to go hungry most days.

  I wasn’t going to wake Mama, but she must have heard me moving around. As I opened the door to leave she called my name. I went to her. We hugged, telling each other that I would be back as soon as possible. We said our goodbyes and I left her for the first time since I left her in Humurom while I went to find the Cityers and ended up finding Azureland. She