Hardin's Dilemma

by A.S. Morrison

I heard footsteps coming towards us. Two formidable men came into the clearing. They looked at us with nasty expressions of anger.

  “Ah, thanks for making camp for us.” The first one said threateningly.

  “This is ours, find your own.” Billus said calmly.

  “We would, but someone stole ours.” The second man said.

  They moved in toward us.

  “That’s not our problem.” Billus got up, starting away from them.

  I stood up as well but I was tired and nervous, and did not want to deal with their stupidity.

  “I’m making it your problem. Now back off.”

  “No.” I growled.

  “Hardin, let’s just go.” Billus said from the trees.

  “No, I’m tired of people like this.”

  The two men looked at each other and laughed. They both were at least six inches taller than me.

  Its strange how in moments like that all the anger and anxiety we keep built up can come rushing out at the slightest annoyance. This was the first time that I had a chance to confront a Dizurian face to face, and all the emotions bottled up from the last few meetings exploded out of me.

  “You best go before we get mad.” One of them said. I was so mad I couldn’t even remember which one was which.

  “You think they know that killing one of them will get us bonus points with the boss.” The other said.

  “No I do not.”

  “That’s not true.” I said. I really had no idea.

  “Hardin come on.” Billus begged.

  “I’ve run too much.” I told him.

  “I just hope you don’t scream too much.” One of the men pulled a knife from a pocket and waved it in my face.

  Without warning he lunged at me, barely missing. I took off with Billus through the forest and away from them. I could hardly see and it took all my balance and coordination to not run straight into a tree. The heavy footfalls of our chasers were in my ear, they were close behind. My head turned toward the sound and I could see one of them carrying a large tree branch. I could only see glimpses of Billus ahead of me as he tore through the darkening terrain. I tried to keep up but was falling behind, lucky for me I think the others were too. The low light mixing in with my growing fatigue did not end well. Somewhere along the way I ran head first into a tree. I was immediately knocked out.

  XV

  I opened my eyes and stared mindlessly up at the canopy above. The leaves shuddered as rain drops hit them. It was morning. Droplets hit my face. I jolted up. My head hurt tremendously and I rested it back on the ground. I looked around and saw a soggy piece of bread sitting on the bag Filn had given Billus. I shoved it in my mouth without a thought to it even being mine. It was beginning to go stale. I was glad to see that there was no sign of the two from last night. They must have lost us in the dark.

  Several minutes went by and I tried to lift my head again. It still hurt but I managed to get into a half sitting position, my back slouched against a large tree. I looked to my left and saw Billus; he sat beside another tree, staring steadfastly at something in front of him. I tried to see what it was but there seemed to be nothing there. I took the bag and looked for more bread. I tore off another piece and ate it. There were two jars of water. I took one and drank a little bit. That helped more than anything. My forehead had a large bruise that was sore to touch. I looked back over to Billus; he was still staring off somewhere. I was starting to get the impression that he was in deep thought.

  “I know who you are.” He said quietly.

  I had to think for a second to understand what he had said. Had he hit a tree too? Of course he knew who I was; I had been wandering the forest with him for a while.

  “What?”

  He frowned deeply, staring hard at something only he could see. “When I saw you in that classroom I thought I was in another nightmare, or flashback.”

  I was getting worried. What was he talking about?

  “You’ve come a long way.”

  Somewhere deep within me I made a connection. A connection that was too frightful to even think too much on. I looked hard at Billus, hoping he would change the subject.

  “I live in the country.” I said; my own voice barely a whisper.

  “This one.”

  I began to sweat. My hands clenched around dirt and squeezed hard.

  “You have me confused.” I feigned a smile.

  “We were scouting that day.” His voice was monotone, without the slightest hint of emotion. “We came across the church in the afternoon.”

  I felt sick. It was beyond just my head at this point, my heart hurt. I wanted so badly to be back in Azureland with my mother and friends. I had a strong suspicion that I did not want to hear what he had to say.

  “Being Finder I told the others.” He continued, much to my displeasure. “It was the perfect place for a hide out. It was my fault. One of the shooters handed me two grenades. I didn’t want to throw them. I knew I wouldn’t live if I didn’t. I threw the first one. You just stood there. It took forever for you to move. When you finally did run I threw the other. Your friend screamed . . .”

  Tears welled up in my eyes. Images flashed in my mind of the events as I remembered them. I had tried so hard to keep them from the front of my mind. And yet there they were. I could do nothing but watch, just like then.

  “I was given another grenade.” Billus shivered. “I didn’t throw that one. The damage had been done. Jurt, our leader, finally took it and threw it. Your friend was thrown. Jurt went over and shot him. He told me to check if you were dead. I didn’t want to get too close, I assumed you were. We came back here and Jurt turned me in for not throwing that grenade. I was immediately thrown out of the Dome Project. I was only reinstated because they need so many people.” He wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry, Hardin. I didn’t want to be there. I was one of the few who came out of dark room training unchanged. . . .but I didn’t.”

  We sat in silence, each going over the events of that day in our own way. We may have been on opposite sides, but we felt almost the same about it. I thought for a second that he was pretending to feel for me, but I could see in his face that he wasn’t.

  I reminded myself over and over again that I was sitting there in that forest with a giant bruise on my forehead for a reason. If Billus really did feel bad for what he did, then maybe he was the right person to help me get what I needed.

  “I can’t believe I’m here.” I said finally, allowing time for us to recompose ourselves.

  He looked at me for the first time since I had gotten up. “How did you get out of the wall?”

  I hesitated at first. There was a small chance that he was an amazing actor and was going to relay what I was going to tell him straight to Leric. I didn’t believe that. I could sense his sincerity.

  “I found a bracelet just lying around.”

  “I suppose that’s fate. But I think these extra guards are because of you. Leric is afraid that you will bring more people in. He hasn’t said much about it, everything is kept secret in Dizuria.”

  “There was nobody anywhere near the wall the last time I went in over there.”

  He pondered that for a bit. “Hmm, that is interesting. I wish I knew enough to tell you why.”

  Even if he was on my side I had to tread carefully to get the information that I wanted. But how was I supposed to go about getting a Dizurian to give me something that would condemn his own people? Would he feel any type of guilt for that? There was only one way to find out.

  “What he is doing is wrong.” I said, paying close attention to his reaction. There was none.

  “Don’t think badly of the people in Dizuria, they are just like any other. They just want to live their lives.”

  “Too many are living them in here.” I brought my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

  He looked at me again, his eyes strained for so
me type of emotion to grab on to. “What are you even doing here?”

  “We didn’t mean to end up in all this. I just hope we can get out.”

  A shuffling noise came to our ears from somewhere.

  “Come on, let’s get moving.” He said, getting up.

  We started away from the noise. My body ached all over with every step. I wanted to start that day over. I pretended that nothing happened between us and that he was still just the person I met a few days before who was helping me find the object to pass our recruiting class.

  The rain picked up. I enjoyed the sounds it made as it fell through the trees. It was nice to hear something calm in that silent world.

  “Are you alright now that you know what I’ve done?” Billus asked, too afraid to look at me.

  I knew that I would have reacted differently if I had met him before finding Azureland. I didn’t know how to react now. Things were so different. Life, despite its never ending obstacles, was getting better for me with every person I got out of Humurom. To my surprise, and ultimate pleasure, I found myself being thankful. It was a strange thankfulness. I felt a little like I was committing a massive faux pas for even thinking that.

  “I want to thank you.” I said. He looked puzzled at my response. “You started the chain of events that led me here. This may not be the best of places, but it’s better than where I was. Without you I would be sitting in Humurom right now, probably with my dead mother, wondering just how worse my life could get before it’s ending without ever getting to see the outside again.”

  He laughed,