I should be grateful that I can’t get Mariah pregnant. Holding back would be impossible with her.
“Cash? Is something wrong?”
“Just thinking about the past.”
“What about it?”
Without answering, Cash pulled Mariah into his arms and gave her a kiss that was hotter than the steaming, gently seething pool.
*
Discreetly Mariah shifted position in the saddle. After she had recovered from the initial trip to the line shack, Cash had insisted that she ride every day no matter where she was. Thanks to that, and frequent rest breaks, she wasn’t particularly sore at the moment. She was very tired of her horse’s choppy gait, however. Next time she would insist on a different horse.
“Are you doing okay?” Cash asked, reining in until he came alongside Mariah.
“Better than I expected. My horse missed her calling. She would have made a world-class cement mixer.”
“You should have said something sooner. We’ll trade.”
Mariah looked at Cash and then at the small mare she rode. “Bad match. You’re too big.”
“Honey, I’ve seen Luke ride that little spotted pony all day long.”
“Really? Is he a closet masochist?”
Cash smiled and shook his head. “He saves her for the roughest country the ranch has to offer. She’s unflappable and surefooted as a goat. That’s why Luke gave her to you. But the rough country is behind us, so there’s no reason why we can’t switch horses.”
Before Mariah could object any more, Cash pulled his big horse to a stop and dismounted. Moments later she found herself lifted out of the saddle and into his embrace.
“You don’t have to do this,” she said, putting her arms around Cash’s neck. “I was finally getting the hang of that spotted devil’s gait.”
“Call it enlightened self-interest. Luke will peel me like a ripe banana if I bring you back in bad shape. I’m supposed to be taking care of you, remember?”
“You’re doing a wonderful job. I’ve never felt better in my life.”
Mariah’s smile and the feel of her fingers combing through his hair sent desire coursing through Cash. The kiss he gave her was hard and deep and hungry. His big hands smoothed over her back and hips until she was molded to him like sunlight. Then he tore his mouth away from her alluring heat and lifted her onto his horse. He stood for a moment next to the horse, looking up into Mariah’s golden eyes, his hand absently stroking the resilience of her thigh while her fingertips traced the lines of his face beneath the growth of stubble.
“What are you thinking?” Mariah asked softly.
Cash hesitated, then shrugged. “Even though we’ll sleep separately on the ranch, a blind man could see we’re lovers.”
It was Mariah’s turn to hesitate. “Is that bad?”
“Only if Luke decides he didn’t mean what he said about you and me.”
“What did he say?”
“That you wanted me,” Cash said bluntly. “That you were past the age of consent. That whatever the two of us did was our business.”
Mariah flushed, embarrassed that her attraction to Cash had been so obvious from the start.
“I hope Luke meant it,” Cash continued. “He and Carla are the only home I’ll ever have. But what’s done is done. We might as well have the pleasure of it because sure as hell we’ll have the pain.”
The bleak acceptance in Cash’s voice stunned Mariah. Questions crowded her mind, questions she had just enough self-control not to ask. Cash had never said anything to her about their future together beyond how long he would be gone before he came back to the Rocking M and the two of them could go gold hunting again.
I haven’t said anything about the future, either, Mariah reminded herself. I haven’t even told him that I love him. I keep hoping he’ll tell me first. But maybe he feels the same way about speaking first. Maybe he’s waiting for me to say something. Maybe…
Cash turned, mounted the smaller horse, picked up the pack animals’ lead ropes and started down the trail once more. Mariah followed, her thoughts in a turmoil, questions ricocheting in her mind.
By the time the ranch house was in sight, Mariah had decided not to press Cash for answers. It was too soon. The feelings were too new.
And she was too vulnerable.
It will be all right, Mariah told herself silently. Cash just needs more time. Men aren’t as comfortable with their emotions as women are, and Cash has already lost once at love. But he cares for me. I know he does.
It will be all right.
As they rode up to the corral, the back door of the ranch house opened and Nevada came out to meet them. At least Mariah thought the man was Nevada until she noticed the absence of any beard.
“It’s about time you got back!” Cash called out. “If I don’t see Carolina more often, she won’t recognize me at all.”
The man took the bridle of Mariah’s horse and smiled up at her. “With those eyes, you’ve got to be Luke’s little sister, Mariah. Welcome home.”
Mariah grinned at the smiling stranger who was every bit as handsome as his unsmiling younger brother. “Thanks. Now I know what Nevada looks like underneath that beard. You must be Tennessee.”
“You sure about that?” Ten asked.
“Dead sure. With those shoulders and that catlike way of walking, you’ve got to be Nevada’s older brother.”
Ten laughed. “It’s a shame Nevada’s not the marrying kind. You’d make a fine sister-in-law.”
Cash gave Ten a hard glance. Ten had no way of knowing that Mariah’s gentle interest in Nevada was a raw spot with Cash. No matter how many times he told himself that Mariah had no sexual interest in Nevada, Cash kept remembering his bitter experience with Linda. It had never occurred to him that she was sleeping with another man. After all, she had come to him a virgin.
Like Mariah.
“Put your ruff down,” Ten drawled to Cash, amused by his response to the idea of Nevada and Mariah together. “Nevada was the one who told me the lady was already taken.”
“See that he remembers it.”
Ten shook his head. “Still the Granite Man. Hard muscles and a skull to match. You sure you didn’t just buy your Ph.D. from some mail-order diploma mill?”
Laughing, Cash dismounted. When Ten offered his hand to help Mariah dismount, Cash reached past the Rocking M’s foreman and lifted her out of the saddle. When Cash put her down, his arm stayed around her.
“Not that I don’t trust you, ramrod,” Cash said dryly to Ten. “It’s just that you’re handsome as sin and twice as hard.”
The left corner of Ten’s mouth turned up. “That’s Nevada you’re thinking of. I’m hard as sin and twice as handsome.”
Cash snickered and shook his head. “Lord, what are we going to do if Utah comes home to roost?”
Mariah blinked. “Utah?”
“Another Blackthorn,” Cash explained.
“There are a lot of them,” Ten added.
“Don’t tell me,” Mariah said quickly. “Let me guess. Fifty, right? Who got stuck being called New Hampshire?”
The two men laughed simultaneously.
“My parents weren’t that ambitious,” Ten said. “There are only eight of us to speak of.”
“To speak of?” Mariah asked.
“The Blackthorns don’t run to marriage, but kids have a way of coming along just the same.” Ten smiled slightly, thinking of his own daughter.
“Is Carolina awake?” Cash asked.
“I hope not. She’ll be hungry when she wakes up and Diana isn’t due back from our Spring Valley house for another hour. She and Carla are measuring for drapes or rugs or some darn thing.” Ten shook his head and started gathering up reins and lead ropes. “Life sure was easier when all I had to worry about was a blanket for my bedroll.”
“Crocodile tears,” Cash snorted. “You wouldn’t go back to your old life and you know it. Hell, if a man even looks at Diana more than once, you sta
rt honing your belt knife.”
“Glad you noticed,” Ten said dryly.
“Not that you need to,” Cash continued, struck by something he had never put into words. “Diana is a rarity among females – a one-man woman.”
“And I’m the lucky man,” Ten said with tangible satisfaction as he led the horses off. “You two go on up to the big house and watch Carolina sleep. I’ll take care of the horses for you.”
When Cash started for the house, Mariah slipped from his grasp. “I’ve got to clean up before Carla gets back. I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot with Luke’s wife.”
“Carla won’t care what you look like. She’s too damn happy that Logan finally shook off that infection and both of them can stay on the ranch again instead of in my apartment in Boulder. Besides, I happen to know Carla’s dying to meet you.”
“You go ahead,” Mariah urged. “I’ll catch up as soon as I’ve showered.”
He tipped up Mariah’s chin, kissed her with a lingering heat that made her toes curl, and reluctantly released her.
“Don’t be long,” Cash said huskily.
She almost changed her mind about going at all, but the thought of standing around in camp clothes while meeting Carla stiffened Mariah’s determination. As her brother’s wife and the sister of the man she loved, Carla was too important to risk alienating. Bitter experience with Mariah’s stepfamily had taught her how very important first impressions could be.
Putting the unhappy past out of her mind, Mariah hurried toward the old ranch house. She had her blouse half-unbuttoned when she opened the front door, only to encounter Nevada just inside the living room. He was carrying a huge carton.
“Don’t stop on my account,” he said, appreciation gleaming in his eyes.
Hastily Mariah fumbled with a button, trying to bring her dйcolletage under some control.
“Relax, he said matter-of-factly. “I’m just a pack animal.”
“Funny,” she muttered, feeling heat stain her cheeks. “To me you look like a man called Nevada Blackthorn.”
“Optical illusion. Hold the door open and I’ll prove it by disappearing.”
“What are you hauling?” she asked, reaching for the door, opening it only a few inches.
“Broken crockery.”
“What?”
“Ten and Diana are finally moving the Anasazi artifacts out of your way. I’m taking the stuff to their new house in Spring Valley.”
“That’s not necessary,” Mariah said. “I don’t want to be a bother. I certainly don’t need every room in the old house. Please. Put everything back. Don’t go to any trouble because of me.”
The fear beneath Mariah’s rapid words was clear. Even if Nevada hadn’t heard the fear, he would have sensed it in the sudden tension of her body, felt it in the urgency of the hand wrapped around his wrist.
“You’ll have to take that up with Ten and Diana,” Nevada said calmly. “They were looking forward to having all this stuff moved into their new house where they could work on it whenever they wanted.” He saw that Mariah didn’t understand yet. “Diana is an archaeologist. She supervises the September Canyon dig. Ten is a partner in the Rocking M. He owns the land the dig is on.”
Slowly Mariah’s fingers relaxed their grip on Nevada’s wrist, but she didn’t release him yet.
“You’re sure they don’t mind moving their workroom?” she asked.
“They’ve been looking forward to it. Would have done it sooner, but Carolina came along a few weeks early and upset all their plans.”
Mariah smiled uncertainly. “If you’re sure…”
“I’m sure.”
“Just what are you sure of?” Cash’s voice asked coldly, pushing the door open. Bleak blue eyes took in Mariah’s partially unbuttoned blouse and her hand wrapped around Nevada’s wrist.
“I was just telling her that Diana and Ten don’t mind clearing out their stuff,” Nevada said in a voice as emotionless as the ice-green eyes measuring Cash’s anger. “Your woman was afraid she’d be kicked off the ranch if she upset anyone.”
“My woman?”
“She lit up like a Christmas tree when she heard your voice. That’s as much a man’s woman as it gets,” Nevada said. “Now if you’ll get out of my way, I’ll get out of yours.”
There was a long silence before Cash stepped aside. Nevada brushed past him and out the front door. Only then did Mariah realize she was holding her breath. She closed her eyes and let out air in a long sigh.
When she opened her eyes again, Cash was gone.
12
Mariah showered, dried her hair, dusted on makeup and put on her favorite casual clothes – a tourmaline green blouse and matching slacks. She checked her appearance in the mirror. Everything was tucked in, no rips, no missing buttons, no spots. Satisfied, she turned away without appreciating the contrast of very dark brown hair, topaz eyes and green clothes. She had never seen herself as particularly attractive, much less striking. Yet she was just that – tall, elegantly proportioned, with high cheekbones and large, unusually colored eyes.
Mentally crossing her fingers that everything would go well with Carla, Mariah grabbed a light jacket and headed for the big house. No one answered her gentle tapping on the front door. She opened it and stuck her head in.
“Cash?” she called softly, not wanting to wake Carolina if she were still sleeping.
“In here,” came the soft answer.
Mariah opened the door and walked into the living room. What she saw made her throat constrict and tears burn behind her eyelids. A clean-shaven Cash was sitting in an oversize rocking chair with a tiny baby tucked into the crook of his arm. One big hand held a bottle that looked too small in his grasp to be anything but a toy. The baby was ignoring the bottle, which held only water. Both tiny hands had locked onto one of Cash’s fingers. Wide, blue-gray eyes studied the man’s face with the intensity only young babies achieved.
“Isn’t she something?” Cash asked softly, his voice as proud as though he were the baby’s father rather than a friend of the family. “She’s got a grip like a tiger.”
Mariah crept closer and looked at the smooth, tiny fingers clinging to Cash’s callused, much more powerful finger.
“Yes,” Mariah whispered, “she’s something. And so are you.”
Cash looked away from the baby and saw the tears magnifying Mariah’s beautiful eyes.
“It’s all right,” she said softly, blinking away the tears. “It’s just… I thought men cared only for their own children. But you care for this baby.”
“Hell, yes. It’s great to hold a little girl again.”
“Again?” Mariah asked, shocked. “Do you have children?”
Cash’s expression changed. He looked from Mariah to the baby in his arms. “No. No children.” His voice was flat, remote. “I was thinking of when Carla was born. It was Dad’s second marriage, so I was ten years old when Carla came along. I took care of her a lot. Carla’s mother was pretty as a rosebud, and not much more use. She married Dad so she wouldn’t have to support herself.” Cash shrugged and said ironically, “So what else is new? Women have lived off men since they got us kicked out of Eden.”
Although Mariah flinched at Cash’s brutal summation of marriage and women, she made no comment. She suspected that her mother’s second marriage had been little better than Cash’s description.
Cash looked back to the baby, who was slowly succumbing to sleep in his arms. He smiled, changing the lines of his face from forbidding to beguiling. Mariah’s heart turned over as she realized all over again just how handsome Cash was.
“Carla was like this baby,” Cash said softly. “Lively as a flea one minute and dead asleep the next. Carla used to watch me with her big blue-green eyes and I’d feel like king of the world. I could coax away her tears when no one else could. Her smile… God, her smile was so sweet.”
“Carla was lucky to have a brother like you. She was even luckier to keep you,” Mariah whi
spered. “Long after my grandparents took me from the Rocking M, I used to cry myself to sleep. It was Luke I was crying for, not my father.”
“Luke always hoped that you were happy,” Cash said, looking up at Mariah.
“It’s in the past.” Mariah shrugged with a casualness that went no deeper than her skin. “Anyway, I was no great bargain as a child. The man my mother married was older, wealthy, and recently widowed. I met him on Christmas Day. I had been praying very hard that the special present my mother had been hinting at would be a return trip to the Rocking M. When I was introduced to my new ‘father’ and his kids, I started crying for Luke. Not the best first impression I could have made,” Mariah added unhappily. “A disaster, in fact. Harold and his older kids resented being saddled with a ‘snot-nosed, whining seven-year-old.’ Boarding schools were the answer.”
Cash muttered something savage under his breath.
“Don’t knock them until you’ve tried them,” Mariah said with a wry simile. “At least I was with my own kind. And I had it better than some of the other outcasts. I got to see Mother most Christmases. And I got a good education.”
The bundle in Cash’s arm shifted, mewing softly, calling his attention back from Mariah. He offered little Carolina the bottle again. Her face wrinkled in disgust as she tasted the tepid water.
“Don’t blame you a bit,” Cash said, smiling slightly. “Compared to what you’re used to, this is really thin beer.”
Gently he increased the rhythm of his rocking, trying to distract the baby from her disappointment. It didn’t work. Within moments Carolina’s face was red and her small mouth was giving vent to surprisingly loud cries. Patiently Cash teased her lips with his fingertip. After a few more yodels, the baby began sucking industriously on the tip of his finger.
“Sneaky,” Mariah said admiringly. “How long does it last?”
“Until she figures out that she’s working her little rear end off for nothing.”
Car doors slammed out in the front yard. Women’s voices called out, to be answered from the vicinity of the barn.
“Hang in there, tiger,” Cash said. “Milk is on the way.”
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