by Evie Monroe
Oh, fuck him.
No . . . hell no. That was the last thing I needed.
I lifted my chin and forced myself to turn away. “Nope. Get some clothes on, cowboy,” I called back, running down the stairs and hoping the image of his beautiful body wouldn’t remain embedded in my brain.
He called back, “Damn!” and I heard him rolling back his closet door. I had to smile at that.
I went into the kitchen and looked at the pile of mail he’d been reading. I didn’t want to snoop, but I ended up looking at a checking account statement that had so many zeroes in it, I had to count them up. I squinted as I realized that he’d withdrawn forty-thousand dollars from the account, last month, alone.
Damn. I knew Cullen liked to flaunt his cash like a pimp, but I wondered if any of that money was spent wisely, or if it was all spent on things like beer, parties, women and his guys.
Frowning, I went to the fridge and poured myself a glass of ice water just as he came down the stairs. He was wearing jeans and a tight black t-shirt, the sleeves so tight around his biceps I thought they might pop out.
He looked delicious, as usual.
I thought he might go back to his cinema room and start watching inappropriate movies, but instead, he leaned against the counter and said, “So you slept well last night?”
I nodded. “It was better than the Best Western. Much better than the shelter. So I guess I should thank you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “But you won’t. So you’re telling me the shelter was worse than the shithole you were in last night?”
I took a drink from my glass. “Well, at first it was okay. A bunch of women lived there, and they volunteered to watch Ella while I looked for work. But then they moved on and these men moved in. It was supposed to be a women’s shelter but somehow, they started letting these guys in. And I was too scared to sleep at night. Too scared for Ella. I don’t think I slept at all, the whole time. I knew I had to get out. Which is why I came here.”
He stared at me, eyes dark, shaking his head. “Fuck, girl.”
I gave him a get-real look. “We can’t all live in multi-million-dollar mansions on the ocean, Cullen.”
“All right. But there are other choices, girl. I can’t believe you even thought to take her there.”
“So she’s a her now? Not an it?” I said with mock surprise, slumping against the refrigerator. “This is what I’m telling you, Cullen. I didn’t have a choice.”
He crossed his arms. “You did. If I knew, I would’ve helped you.”
I stifled a bitter laugh. “Sure you would’ve. Which is why you fought me tooth and nail when I first came here and wanted to stay?”
His eyes darkened on mine. “Things are different now.”
I snorted. So he was going to lecture me about how to take care of our child, when he didn’t even know how to change a diaper? My anger was rising, and I knew I had to get away. I started to retreat, but curiosity got the best of me. “Oh? How?”
“Because of this,” he breathed.
He bridged the distance in half a second and crushed his mouth onto mine.
Chapter Eleven
Cullen
I kissed her, devouring her mouth like she was my last meal.
I knew I shouldn’t be doing it but then again, nothing had ever felt so right. I was in too deep but I’d be damned if I was going to turn back now.
I should’ve known it from the first time. Her body, her kiss, the way she moved against me . . . it ruined me for all other women. I was hers. She was mine. Nothing else would ever make sense.
And the only thing that had changed?
I accepted it.
Accepted I couldn’t get her out of my head, no matter how hard I tried or how much time passed. I needed to sate this thirst once and for all, fuck her out of my system.
She broke the kiss and led me up to my bedroom. I kept my hands on her waist, under her sweatshirt. Fucking delirious.
There we were, back in sync again. She must have wanted to fuck me out of her system, too.
We already knew that plan had doom written all over it. But nothing was going to stop us now. I wanted to enjoy this moment, this sweet and fucking hot as hell moment.
The sun streamed in through the blinds, giving me a good look at the desire in her eyes as I dragged her closer. She came to me willingly, and I slid my hands under her ass, lifting her up so that her legs wrapped around me. Her lips met mine and she guided the kiss, her mouth parting and welcoming my tongue as her sexy little body rocked against mine.
“Fuck me like you used to,” she begged me. “Just like that.”
My brain spun like a top. Grace, wrapped around me, wanting me, kissing me like a maniac. Grace. Like I hadn’t thought of her a million times since she’d left. I wanted to make love to her and fuck her at the same time. I wanted her to scream in pleasure and rue the day she ever walked out.
I scooped her up and carried her to the bed. “I plan to, baby.”
I laid her down on my rumpled sheets and stripped off my t-shirt, her greedy little eyes scraping over each and every one of my muscles. Her strawberry-blonde hair fanned out on my mattress.
I smirked down at her as I yanked at those barely-there shorts, pulling them over her wide hips and perfect legs to reveal a slip of pink lace underwear. Pulled them down, too.
Propped her legs on my shoulders and dove in, lapping hungrily at her cunt, dying to get her trembling under my touch. To get her as riled up as I already felt. She was already wet as hell, so fucking sweet.
I ran my hands up her abdomen, cupping and squeezing her tits as she moaned and wriggled.
Her hands found my face, dragging me forward. When I was close enough, she yanked hard on my belt buckle. “Just fuck me. I’m so ready for you.”
I wanted it. Hell, I wanted it more than anything. But fuck, if I did that, it’d be over too soon. I parted her legs and settling my hips between them. She shivered as I dragged the tip of my tongue across her nipple. Slow, licking in circles. She canted her body toward me, wanting me, waiting for me to thrust inside her, take her. Ravage her. Savagely fuck her and own her the way she owned me every one of those nights she’d left me alone.
I sucked her nipple, rolling my tongue against her soft flesh as I eased a finger inside her, my cock hard as a fucking rock wanting to take its place. I loved the way her quivering walls closed around my finger as she let me take her a little bit at a time.
If I rushed, I knew I’d lose it. I’d waited too long to get here, and I was going to make it last.
I fingered her clit again, lapping at her nipples. I needed to make sure she was hot and ready because I knew once I was inside her, I wasn’t going to last. This was too good.
I eased back to jerk off my jeans and boxers, then I crawled back over her, wanting her hands on me.
“Cullen.” She blinked up at me as if she was seeing all of me for the first time. Her hand came up to my jaw and she just stared up at me with a look of admiration that made me think I could be the man she wanted me to be.
It did a number on my head.
I wanted it slow. Wanted to take my time and make it last.
But my body wanted other things. I reached into the bedside table, yanked out a condom, tore it open and rolled it on my dick. Then, I grabbed hold of her hip, and eased my cock to her entrance. She watched me, her teeth raking over her bottom lip. “Now,” she begged.
Not so easy. Too soon and I’d lose control.
I focused hard on keeping it slow, rolling my hips into her until I was buried to the hilt. Connected. And Goddamn, it was better than I remembered. Hot, wet fucking paradise. I wasn’t going to last, even being still like this. I felt the blood rushing hard through my veins.
She gasped and rocked into me, wanting me to go harder, faster. But I couldn’t.
I breathed a shushing noise into her ear, lifting both her hands and pinning them onto the mattress, above her.
Palm to palm, body
to body, locked together, the heat of her perfect body under mine was enough to make me go crazy.
There was no other choice. I had to move. Feel her. Feel more of her.
I started to, slow at first. In, out, feeling as much as I could of her, getting a rhythm. “Like that?”
Her breath hitched as she rocked into me, wrapping her legs tight around my waist. “Yes, right there.”
Rolled deeper. “Good?” Got into a groove.
Her fingers tightened on my ass, pulling me into her. “Yeah. Oh, fuck, Cullen. Yes. Just like that.”
I slowed myself down, pulled onto my knees, got her onto my lap. She arched her back and closed her eyes. Gripped handfuls of the sheets, lifted her chin back so I sucked on her pale neck, rolling her nipples between my fingers.
Rocked harder, further. Deeper. Holy shit, this woman was pushing every one of my buttons. I knew it, but only right now did it hit me how fucking perfect our bodies fit together.
Found myself getting too wound up too soon. Not where I wanted to go just yet. Steadied. Bit my tongue.
Knew it was no fucking use. Grace was too hot, too beautiful and this was too good. She started to grind on me, finding her own rhythm, so I met her movements with a strong thrust, which was just enough to push her over the top.
I set her off with a scream. “Yes. Fucking yes,” she ground out as I grabbed her hips hard, jerked forward and unloaded. It was too fucking amazing, as fucking Grace always was. I just kept coming and coming and coming.
I slipped her off of my lap and collapsed next to her, sweaty and out of breath, and pressed a kiss into her bare shoulder.
She lay there for a minute, her tits heaving with each breath, looking well fucked and rightly stunned. Like she didn’t know this would happen?
She belonged with me. That was it. No question.
She started to get up and I nudged her down. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“We were pretty loud. I’ve got to make sure Ella is okay,” she said, smoothing her hair and looking around for her clothes.
“Stay here,” I told her, standing. “I will. I’ve got you right where I want you. You’re not getting out of my bed without going through me first.”
She rolled over and looked at me. “Put something on first!” she said when I reached the door.
I bent over and scooped up my boxer briefs and stepped into them. “Happy?”
She nodded. I went across the hall, opened the door a peek. The kid was still sound asleep.
I went back to my bedroom and slid the boxers off, then crawled back into the bed.
“She’s out, girl. Get your ass over here. I’m not done with you yet.”
Chapter Twelve
Grace
“Tell me something, baby,” Cullen growled as I curled up next to him with my head on his chest. “When you left that night, where’d you go?”
I sighed. I didn’t want to think about it. “Does it matter?”
He nodded. “I’m asking because it was night, you were pregnant, and damned if that didn’t take some balls. You must’ve really hated me.”
He was right. Nobody could get me as pissed off as Cullen McKnight could. I rolled onto him, kissing his chest. “Yeah. So?”
“So next time you’re thinking of skipping out on me, tell me. We’ll have a talk. Okay?”
I gazed at him, not willing to answer that. It all depended on how much of an asshole he was.
He played with my hair, threading it through his fingers, which were stained in motor oil. He had that delicious smell of badass and motor oil that made my knees week. “You have any boyfriends since me?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh. Tons. Being pregnant is a definite man magnet.”
He shrugged, tracing a finger up my spine, to the only tattoo I’d ever gotten, a cluster of birds, flying away, from my collarbone to behind my ear. I’d gotten it with him, on a dare, I think when we were a little drunk. It was hilarious, now, considering I’d flown away from him, and how I never flew, really. I’d left him, but was always nearby, in Aveline Bay. Maybe part of me had always been hoping he’d find me.
“You’re hotter now, baby. Even as a mom. That body of yours . . . fuck. I didn’t think it could get any better. I want to keep you in my bed and fuck you well and good. I bet all the other men did, too.”
I laughed. “You sound jealous.”
“I am.”
I just smiled at him. “Jealous of no one. They didn’t exist.”
“They exist. You just didn’t know it. But you belong to me, baby. And I’m not going to let anyone touch a hair on your head.”
It was early afternoon, so I wasn’t sleeping anyway. But now I really wasn’t sleeping.
As I lay in Cullen’s arms, wondering how the hell I’d gotten the strength to leave him before, it gradually settled on me. Things weren’t different.
And I’d just gone and made them a hell of a lot more complicated.
But the funny thing was, I didn’t care. My life had always been complicated. Maybe this was just made to happen. Why else was I never able to forget him?
I knew I’d be safe with Cullen. I knew he’d die to protect me. And Ella, too, though he hadn’t warmed up to her yet. She’d wrap him around her finger. Soon. And though it wasn’t the life I would’ve chosen for her, I wanted her to know her daddy.
We could be happy together.
I told myself that, again and again, as I held him tight.
Then I heard a cry. Ella was awake.
I expected Cullen to keep dozing, or pretend not to hear, but he slipped out from my arms and kissed my forehead. “I’ll get her. You stay there.”
I sat up on both elbows and looked at him. “You sure?”
He nodded as he slipped into his boxers and jeans. “I’m not helpless. I got this.”
I smiled. This I got to see.
Curiosity got the better of me about three seconds after he disappeared out the door. I threw on his t-shirt and crept into the hallway.
He was already cradling a babbling, grinning Ella in his arms, bouncing her like a true pro. “Hey, kid,” he said in a low voice. “Where’s the fire?”
No wonder she was grinning madly at him. There could be no hotter sight than this.
He motioned me toward the bedroom. I went back inside and he brought Ella in, and put her down on the bed. She rolled around onto her hands and knees and looked around at the pillows. He sat down on the side of the bed, and I thought, oh, gosh, we are such a cute little family.
Then I looked over and saw his leather kutte hanging on the back of the door, with the Steel Cobras crest on the back.
Suddenly, I was back on the foldout couch in the basement of his sister’s house. It was after midnight, and Cullen had gone to church and said he’d be back by ten.
That was when I flipped on the television and saw the local news reports of a shootout out by the docks, right where Cullen said the Cobras met. He’d gone out, shoving his gun into the back of his jeans, all badass, saying that some guys were trying to fuck with them and he needed to represent and show them who was boss.
When he’d returned, that vest of his was covered in blood. It bled through his fingers and the tiny handkerchief he’d put over it, dripping all over the floor. The second I saw him, I shrieked. I thought he was dying.
But he was lucky. A bullet had grazed his chin, coming just inches away from his artery in his neck. He still had the scar, a tiny white nick buried somewhere under all that beard. He’d told me, as we lay in bed that night once the bleeding had stopped, that he’d been getting out of church and some gang members had just opened fire on them. He wasn’t sure who they were, or why they were after him, but, “Baby, what can I say? We got a lot of enemies.”
A lot of enemies.
So many enemies, he didn’t even know who they were. How could he protect me when he wasn’t even sure where the danger was coming from? How could we be a family like that?
I looked a
round as Ella innocently explored the bed, rolling around the pillows. Somewhere, in this room, I bet Cullen had a gun. Loaded. He was always stupid and dangerous with it. He’d leave it lying around, loaded, anywhere.
If things were going to work, we’d have to baby-proof this house. First rule: Locking up all the guns. Because there was no way in hell he’d ever leave the Cobras. So he’d always have those enemies.
I reached over and felt her butt. “She needs her diaper changed.”
He quickly handed her over to me. “That’s where you come in.”
“Oh, so, you don’t want to learn?”
“Hell no,” he said, shaking his head. “She’s a girl.”
I took her into the other room and spread her out on a blanket on the carpet. Her diaper was bloated with pee. I peeled it off as he averted his eyes. So now he gets a sense of shame? Oh, boy. I said, “Hand me those wipes and a diaper.”
He looked at the assortment of things on the dresser and finally found the tub and a diaper, which he handed to me. I lifted her legs with one hand, and then she started kicking, twisting and screeching for Cullen. She might have been sweet as pie with him, casting his hypnotic spell to quiet her down. With me, she was her bouncy, toddler, lightning-in-a-bottle self.
I couldn’t get her to stay still long enough to change her diaper.
“You want to help?” I asked him, grabbing her before she scrambled off the bed. “Well help me calm her down.”
So he came over to the bed and sat down and did some trick with his fingers and she stared as if hypnotized while I did my thing changing her.
“There,” I said as I finally put her bloomers into place. “Easy when we’re a team. Thanks for your help.”
He was still averting his eyes from the diaper part of the operation, focusing on the broad smile and chorus of giggles he had coaxed out of her. “I’m glad. But I ain’t ever doing that.”
Hmph, I thought, giving Ella the sign that she was free. She cooed happily and peeled off the bed, ready for action again. I handed her a sippy cup of water and she drained it, giving him her big blue eyes.
