by Evie Monroe
“Never say never.”
He leaned against the wall and plunged his hands into his pockets. “Read my lips, baby. NEVER.”
Right. Cullen was too damn stubborn. All in for fun and games but try to find him when it was time to go to work. “Fine.” I stood up and started to chase her as she ran past him for the door.
“Where you going?”
I started toward the staircase. “You can’t keep me in your bed forever, Cullen. I’ve got our daughter to take care of now. And right now, she wants to play and have a little something to eat.” I managed to catch her hand and kissed her petal-soft skin. “Don’t you baby?”
Her answer was to wrestle herself away from me and follow her daddy around like a cute little puppy looking for treats.
In the kitchen I looked around at all the beer and liquor bottles on the shelves and decided that today, I’d work on tossing them out. If he wanted to keep me here, I was going to make the place safer. I fixed Ella her lunch and sat her on a high stool with a back at the counter. As she stuffed her little rosebud mouth, I started making a list of things we needed to baby-proof.
Cullen walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, so I ripped my list off the pad and handed it to him. “Can you get this for us? Maybe at Target? They have an aisle just for baby safety stuff, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find.”
He read it over. I expected him to argue. As he usually did. Instead, he nodded. “What the hell is a tot-lock?” he asked.
“It keeps cabinets closed so that a baby can’t get into them and drink anything dangerous.”
“I keep my alcohol up high.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Not that. Cleaning products. The stuff you keep under the sink.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have any cleaning products.”
I looked around. “Obviously. So you never clean this place?”
“I have a housecleaning service come in. Once a week.”
I looked at all the beer bottles and scoffed. “Did she miss a week or two? And obviously, you’re not used to kids. Not that I’d expect you to be, but can we do it more often than that? With a toddler, things get pretty messy, pretty quick.”
He gave me a look like I was speaking a foreign language, but as I stared at the list in his hands, I figured that was good enough for a start. We’d already upended his whole life. I didn’t want to freak him out completely.
Before he left, he activated the security system, kissed us goodbye, and then I took Ella on a tour of the house, trying to find something to keep her occupied. Cullen’s mansion was so huge, there were rooms I didn’t think he ever used. This would probably be great for hide-and-seek games next year when Ella was a little older, but I didn’t see many things around that were safe and fun for her now.
I wondered where he kept his gun. Knowing Cullen, if he was out with his guys, he probably had it with him. I kept Ella distracted on the other side of the bed and sure enough, when I peeked in the drawer of his night-table, I found a never-ending stash of condoms and a few loose bullets, rolling around there. But no gun. I would have freaked if I’d seen one with Ella so close. I just breathed a sigh of relief and we continued our tour of the house.
The next room I chose had a wall of framed platinum records, all belonging to Cullen’s dad. There was even an old guitar hanging on the wall alongside a picture of a balding, longhaired man that I knew was Cullen’s dad. He was balancing a smiling boy with a bowl haircut on his knee who couldn’t have been much older than Ella.
Cullen.
I thought back to the one and only time I met Brent McKnight, the rock-star legend from the heavy metal band The Fritz. When I met him, he was sitting in Aria’s house, drinking beers with like six empty bottles lined up in front of him and Cullen.
Although he was almost bald on top, his mane of long, stringy hair hung like a dirty curtain around the side and down his back. Despite his skinny arms and legs, he had a beer belly and his ruddy face showed his love of booze. He’d brought along a girlfriend who didn’t even look legal; she had some track marks on her arms, as did he. The tension in the room was so thick, I could tell Cullen and Aria didn’t want him there.
When he’d looked me up and down, I could almost see a resemblance to Cullen in his blue eyes, though they were glazed from whatever drugs he’d been doing that day. He’d fastened those eyes on my cleavage and said, “What do you see in that fucking pussy boy of mine? Sit that cute little ass of yours on my face and I’ll show you what a real man can do.”
Really. A class act.
And his girlfriend hadn’t batted an eyelash. I’d felt so sick after that I went to the bathroom and retched over the toilet for a good ten minutes. And I wasn’t even pregnant yet.
All I knew was that if Cullen ever thought of treating me like that, I wouldn’t just leave him. I’d kick him repeatedly in the balls first. Hard.
I knew he hated his dad. But he never said much else. I guess he didn’t hate him enough to toss all this stuff away. His father wasn’t a good dad. I figured Cullen must’ve wrestled with that, every day. Would he be like his father?
Ella was his chance to find out.
I knew it scared him.
And Cullen didn’t like to admit anything scared him.
But I bet it scared him even more than the thought of taking a bullet from the Fury. He may have talked a good game, like he didn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else, but some things he’d easily defend, paying no regard to his own safety. The Cobras. Me.
Maybe one day, Ella as well.
I went through a formal dining room, complete with a glass table that Cullen had probably never used.
Then we made it down the hall and went through about ten more giant, dark rooms that didn’t have any furniture. I wondered why he hadn’t sold this place, when I knew there was no nostalgia attached to it, and it was clear he didn’t need all the space.
He had a nice swimming pool, though, with grottos and waterfalls and a hot tub. I could imagine teaching Ella to swim there. There was also a little pool house, butted up against the edge of the property, that probably had an even better view of the ocean. Cullen had told me he’d stayed there as a teen, when his father’s partying had started to get out of hand. I slid open the screen door and started to walk outside, to the deck, but then I worried that would set off the alarm.
When the phone in the kitchen started to ring, I debated if I should answer it. I finally picked it up.
“Hey,” a voice said right away. It was Cullen. “You got the code to disarm the alarm? There’s a delivery truck coming, and you’ll need to let them in.”
“Yeah, I got it. You sent a delivery truck?” I asked. I was pretty sure my list wasn’t all that long. Of course, he only had a motorcycle, so that made sense.
He hung up and when the delivery truck arrived about a half hour later, I disarmed the alarm and opened the door, expecting a few big bags. But the man in the red uniform was holding a massive teddy bear, about ten times the size of Ella.
That was definitely not on the list.
Ella squealed and went running for it, getting lost in the huge fluffy plush animal.
“Where do you want everything, ma’am?” he asked me, stepping into the foyer as I rescued Ella from the bear’s embrace.
“Oh. You can just put it right here,” I said. “I’ll sort it out later.”
And then I watched as he and another man made several trips, bringing in bags and boxes, filling his enormous foyer. I peeked into some of the bags and saw a wealth of baby paraphernalia. The baby proofing security stuff was there, as well . . . did he really buy a breast pump? What was he expecting I was going to do with that? I stopped breastfeeding over a year ago.
After about the tenth trip, I started to worry there wouldn’t be enough space. “Just a couple more things, ma’am,” the driver said, because I must’ve looked concerned.
The last thing they brought in was a brand-new toddler bed and
mattress. And sheets with little pink elephants all over them.
Cullen must have had a saleslady helping him. I couldn’t see him doing all of this himself.
About fifteen minutes later, he pulled up on his motorcycle as Ella and I were going through everything. The foyer looked a little like a Kids ‘R Us.
“Did I do okay?” he asked, pulling off his helmet and scratching the back of his neck as he surveyed the disorder in the foyer.
I nodded, speechless, as I weaved my way around the piles of toys and clothes. I kissed him so hard, it struck him by surprise. When he broke the kiss, he grinned down at me.
“Guess that’s a yes?”
I nodded, still unable to get the words out. I felt tears pinching the corners of my eyes.
Because the list of things he’d defend with no regard to his safety?
Right then, I knew Ella had made the cut.
Chapter Thirteen
Cullen
I looked around the fucking hellhole that had become my house and smiled.
My father, the old bastard, had moved in here when I was six or seven. The only toys he kept for me was a collection of Matchbox cars in a shoebox in the foyer closet, because he didn’t want any of my shit fucking up his sweet bachelor pad. He always had the doors to the house open to anyone looking for a party. The liquor was always flowing, with endless lines of coke spread out on the dining room table.
But one thing he didn’t want?
Kid stuff.
I finished putting together the toddler bed and arranged it by the window in the room we’d picked out for Ella, down the hall from my bedroom. “This good?” I asked Grace as I gave it a little shake for good measure to make sure it was sturdy.
She nodded. “Perfect. Thanks.”
She was sitting on the floor, still wearing my t-shirt and a pair of short-shorts, going through all the stuff for Ella. Her hair was loose and messy and I was hoping it was naptime soon, because that meant I could get Grace into bed with me. She pulled out the sheets and started to make the bed.
Ella was playing with the blocks I’d gotten her, looking pretty damn happy. I had no fucking clue what a baby girl would play with, but the saleslady at the department store had been a big help. I told her to just fill up my cart with some of everything a new parent would need for their kid. And she did.
“Some of this we can return,” Grace said, searching through the pile. “She’s really too big for an exersaucer.”
I looked at it. The picture on the side of the box showed a baby that I guessed was younger than Ella. “I have no fucking idea what that thing does.”
“But it’s nice,” she added. “Thank you. I never had a baby shower for Ella. This kind of feels like that.”
“Well, fuck,” I said. “You should’ve had one.”
“And invited who?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips and staring at me like I didn’t have a clue about baby showers. Which I didn’t.
“If you’d been with me, we could’ve invited a bunch of people.”
“Yeah. I would just love to see all the Cobras at a freaking baby shower,” she said with a grin. “We could’ve had finger sandwiches and played Guess the Baby’s Birthdate. Isn’t that what you normally do at church?”
I smirked. “Pretty much.”
Just then, Ella collapsed against the giant bear she was wrestling with and yawned.
“Don’t that mean she’s tired?” I asked, lifting her up and setting the bear against the bed.
Grace gave me a suspicious look and shrugged. “Well, I don’t know, what time is it?”
I checked my phone. “Three.”
She contemplated this. “I usually put her down around four.”
“Will the world end if you put her down early?” I cornered her against the wall, my hands on her bare arms, moving down and trying to cup her tits. No bra. Hell yes. I licked her earlobe. She pushed me away so fast I thought something was wrong. “What? I want to nail her mother.”
She gave me the eye. “Not in front of Ella.”
“Of course. But . . .” I looked over my shoulder at the kid, who was too busy babbling to the bear, trying to get it to talk to her. “I think we’re good.”
She stepped to the side. “She could turn around and see us in a heartbeat. My mother always had men all over her. I’m not doing that to Ella, understand?”
Letting out a breath, I pushed off the wall, just as my phone started to ring. I checked the screen. It was Hart. The king of bad timing.
I kissed Grace’s temple and held up a finger. Stepping out of the room, I answered. “This better be good.”
“When are you going to realize, man, it’s always good when you’re talking to me?” he said, pissing me off. Hart could really sling the bullshit. “You get in touch with the Fury yet?”
“For . . .” Shit. I’d been planning to get in touch with Slade and I hadn’t. “Not yet. Wrapped up in things. I’ll get to it tonight.”
“Cool, man.”
“That what you called me for? To be my warden?” I asked, peeking into the room. Grace was babbling baby talk to the kid, trying to get her to settle into her new bed. Fuck, yes. I’d obey the rules around Ella, but I couldn’t wait to get Grace into my bedroom.
“No. Actually, I’m at the clubhouse. And there’s a package over here for you, man,” he said. “Says on it that it’s urgent and needs to be opened right away.”
“Who from?”
“Doesn’t say.”
Great. “I’ll be over there after a while.” I hadn’t been planning on going anywhere tonight, but if it was Cobras business, it couldn’t wait. Fuck. I knew Grace would give me shit about it.
“Good. Because you know, Dash and Jet were getting riled. You know. Wondering what the fuck is going down because you’ve been mum lately. Anything wrong?”
Of course they were. I was supposed to be setting up that meeting with Slade and all I’ve been doing is playing house here. I needed to focus. This wasn’t how a president of a club behaved.
And if I let it go too long, the guys would try to take matters into their own hands. Especially Dash and Jet, hotheads that they were. They’d fuck everything up.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I ground out.
“Any truth to the rumor going around that you got a kid?”
Fuck. I didn’t want to get into this. I leaned into the phone and murmured, so Grace wouldn’t hear, “A girl I used to know and her kid are staying with me, that’s all. She was in trouble.”
“All right, man. Don’t get all fucked up about it.”
I wasn’t fucked up about it. Was I? Shit, my voice might have risen a notch. “Okay man, see you later.”
I ended the call. I had to play this cooler than I was playing it. The last thing I needed was the Cobras wondering if I’d gone MIA on them. A president didn’t do that. I could balance these things. I knew I could. I just needed Grace to understand that I had other things to deal with. Delicately, this time.
I went into the room as Grace was telling Ella a bedtime story, her eyes drooping closed. When she saw me her eyes popped opened and she smiled around her thumb. “New bed,” she said.
Grace gave her a little hug. “I think she likes her new digs.”
“Nice. Hey,” I said. “Sorry but I’ve got to go. Cobras business.”
She kissed Ella and stood up, following me out into the hallway. “Okay,” she said, her voice breezy, but I knew better than that.
I got the feeling if I hadn’t just bought out all of Target’s baby department, I would’ve been in some serious shit.
I groaned as I wrapped my arms around her. Shit, she made it almost impossible to leave. She reached up and kissed me, long and slow. “You’ll be home at a reasonable hour?”
“Girl, you and I both know that your reason and my reason ain’t the same thing,” I said with a grin. “But I’ll be an hour or so, tops.”
She gave me a doubtful look. “Cobras business? That means t
wo.”
“I’ll bring home dinner. Okay?”
She nodded, satisfied. “Good. Don’t make me miss you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Grace
Cullen wasn’t the most punctual person on earth. Oh, he’d make sure church with the Cobras started at eight sharp. But when it came to how long he’d be gone when he said he was going out, I knew better than to take his word as gospel. I knew better than to make dinner plans or hang around waiting for him.
He was never on time when it came to me.
So when he said that he’d bring dinner home, I figured we’d probably end up eating at his dinnertime, which was ten at night. Having a baby that woke me up at daybreak, ten had quickly become my bedtime.
But as Ella napped, I decided to keep myself busy. There was a lot of work to be done, cleaning and baby-proofing the house. I got back to work, tossing all of the liquor bottles into the trash. Then I cleaned the kitchen, did some laundry, and baby-proofed most of the rooms that I thought Ella was likely to explore.
When I was done, I felt a little better about having Ella in the house. The place was more like a home and a bit less like a bachelor pad.
I looked at the clock and realized it was after five. He’d been gone almost two hours already.
Sighing, I climbed the stairs. I needed to get Ella up or else she wouldn’t sleep at night. When I got her up, I decided to feed her dinner in the brand new high chair that Cullen had bought for her. I fixed a chicken breast and vegetables and when she started chomping on it, my stomach started to grumble.
When my stomach grumbled for mashed carrots and peas and bland chicken, I knew I had a problem. I was starving.
Ella was wide awake, so I read a book to her but mostly I chased her from room to room. Where was Cullen? Not only was I starving, but my little darling was wearing me out. It was past six, almost six-thirty.
Cullen had made it clear he didn’t want me to leave. He’d armed the alarm when he left and told me to stay put. But that was fine as long as he would be holding up his end of the bargain and coming home when he Goddamn said he would.
