Love Me Last: A Military Man Romance (New Dawn Book 2)

by Rhea Wilde

  “We made it though. We were just some grunts not unlike the rest of them but we got through it together.”

  I was staring at the paper in my hands but not reading it. Eva remained silent as she listened, her eyes locked on me.

  “We decided to keep going after that. Even though he’d gotten married and settled down, we pushed each other into special forces training. We got through that, too.”

  I shook my head slightly as the memory came back to me.

  “The work was tiresome,” I continued. “It was tougher than a regular deployment. Our squad was shipped all over the world on covert missions. He was dedicated. So dedicated it started taking a toll on his marriage. His wife cheated and eventually left him. But not before they had a child. She didn’t care too much about John or their son, Brandon. Brandon was all John had left.”

  I cleared my throat softly. I never thought I’d have to return to this moment. But I had to. For Eva.

  “We were on a mission,” I said. “When you were special forces, it was never easy. There was never anything routine or run-of-the-mill. Our lives were always on the line. You never knew when it was your time. John’s time came before mine.

  “The car accident was a cover for what really happened. The government would never publish that one of their high-ranking special operatives was lost in the line of duty on a classified mission.”

  I felt my cheeks warm and my eyes start to glaze over. I looked up at Eva and she stared back with a frown.

  “He didn’t die in a car accident,” I said. “John died in my arms because I couldn’t save him. He wasn’t angry or upset or even sad. He just made me make a promise to him. He told me to make sure Brandon was safe. For him.”

  “That was four years ago?” she asked.

  “I did the best I could but I never really had a chance to see him very often. Brandon stayed with relatives most of the time. I couldn’t just quit. That’s not how it works.

  “Then I found out he was missing. I’d already gotten orders to report and they refused to grant me my leave. So I disobeyed them. I left. Brandon is the only thing that matters to me now.”

  I inhaled a deep breath and gathered myself. My memories left me.

  “So, he’s not your son then…”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “He’s not my son.”

  “And you are Derek Jacobs.”

  “…Yes.”

  Her jaw clenched. Her body trembled slightly. When I looked into her eyes, I saw how much I’d hurt her.

  “Why did you lie to me?” she asked. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

  “Because I didn’t know you. There was no telling what you would do if you knew the truth. I couldn’t risk you turning me in if you knew who I really was and how I had gone AWOL. What I’m doing is criminal. Neville told you as much. I thought… I thought maybe if you believed Brandon was my son, you would be more inclined to help.”

  “You still had a chance to come clean.”

  “You’re right. I just… The opportunity never came up.”

  “You showed me a fake ID.”

  “I couldn’t use my real name. If I was caught or captured, they would be running around in circles trying to figure out who I was because John Sabin is gone. It was another safeguard to protect my own identity. I couldn’t take the chance that anybody knew who I really was.”

  “That’s not good enough”

  “I’m not going to give you any more excuses. Eva, I’m sorry—”

  “You’re sorry?” she exclaimed.

  She started breathing louder. She was so worked up and I wasn’t sure how to calm her down.

  “There are people out there trying to kill us! Now I find out there’s a federal agent looking for you, too!”

  “He’s looking for me. He’s not concerned with you.”

  “We’re in enough trouble as it is. Agent Neville is here! We can’t even step outside without having to worry about someone shooting at us. My apartment building became a crime scene. Now there’s a man who came to this city just to arrest you. What are we supposed to do?”

  “The plan doesn’t change. We find Reese and we take him down. We save Brandon and everybody else who’s been abducted. You get paid for solving your case. That was our deal.”

  “I made a deal with John Sabin, not Derek Jacobs.”

  “What difference does it make?”

  “Why I should trust you? How do I know you’re telling the truth? Shit…”

  Eva put a hand up to her head in frustration. I remained calm, hoping she would find some reason not to blow me off.

  “I should have never done this,” she sighed. “I should have never trusted a stranger.”

  “I’m not a stranger,” I said. “Not anymore. The only difference is my name.”

  “How do I know that?”

  There was nothing I could say to put her at ease, so I didn’t try.

  “You don’t,” I said. “You just have to trust me.”

  “I can’t do that. Not when I know you’ve been lying to me the whole time.”

  “Eva, please…”

  I walked up to her and put my hands up but she brushed me off. She took a step back.

  “I don’t…” she sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”

  She looked down at the ground.

  “The last time I trusted someone I barely knew…”

  “Look at me, Eva. Please.”

  She didn’t respond.

  “Eva…”

  She looked at me. I saw the same woman I’d seen this whole time. So strong and steadfast. Defiant and focused. But I was someone else. I was a stranger to her.

  “You know me,” I said.

  “I don’t,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Yes, you do.”

  “I don’t—”

  “Yes, you do! I saved you. I protected you. That’s all I wanted to do. I didn’t know you then but I know you now. You and Brandon are the only people I care about.”

  She turned away, her eyes closed.

  “The plan doesn’t change,” I reiterated, desperately trying to calm her down. “There are still people out there who need our help.”

  “I don’t know if I can help them,” she replied. “I’m… I’m not thinking straight. I need to get out of here.”

  “You can’t leave.”

  “I can’t stay here with you,” she said as she put her hands up. “I… I just need some space, okay?”

  I opened my mouth to make her change her mind but stopped myself.

  “…I’ll be here,” I sighed.

  “I need to sort all of this out,” she said. “I have to go.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “That’s not important. Just… Don’t worry. I won’t contact, Agent Neville. Just let me go… Derek.”

  “…Okay.”

  She didn’t give me another look before she left the room.

  I sat on the edge of the desk and closed my eyes, going over everything that happened.

  It was a mistake. But this wasn’t over. I had to stay focused.

  Chapter 17

  EVA

  His dog tags. Why didn’t I read both of them?

  Why didn’t I do a background check?

  Why did I trust him so easily?

  The thoughts swirled in my head as I sat there. So many obvious questions I didn’t bother asking myself until now. I was never this sloppy. Of course, it would have to happen in the biggest case I’d ever had.

  My thoughts were interrupted when my friend asked me a question.

  “When did you first start drinking?”

  “I think I was nineteen.”

  “Nineteen? I know you were younger than that when you had your first drink.”

  “Oh, my first drink. I’d say about 8 or 9. I stole a sip of my uncle’s beer. But I didn’t start drinking, you know, really drinking until later.”

  “Nineteen… That’s right around the time I first met
you. When you first came to New Gardens… You didn’t start drinking because of me, did you?”

  “No. I started drinking to deal with my problems.”

  “Why would you do that? You have me to solve your problems.”

  “You can’t solve all of them. Alcohol solves the rest of them.”

  “I take it you have a problem that needs solving then.”

  I glanced at my friend, who was sitting at the bar with me. Then I turned my attention to the clear liquor in the glass I held in front of me.

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “I’ve got a problem that needs solving.”

  I gulped the gin down then plopped the glass back down onto the counter. A quick motion to the bartender and he obliged by filling my drink back up.

  “I don’t think alcohol is going to solve your problem,” my friend said.

  “And how do you know that?”

  “Alcohol doesn’t make you bulletproof.”

  I slowly turned my head toward my friend and she stared back at me with a familiar expression on her face. I’d known Mya for nearly a decade. I knew when she was worried just from the look she gave me.

  “I hate it when you look at me like that,” I sighed.

  “Like what?”

  “Like that. Eyebrows wrinkled. Lips pursed. It’s like you just saw a puppy die. Is that the same look you give all your clients?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t really look in the mirror when I’m with them.”

  “I bet you do. Those poor bastards who got caught. Faced with being locked up for years and having their futures taken away from them. I suppose I would need someone to look at me with some sympathy.”

  “Maybe I do look that way at everybody. I am concerned about them. And I’m concerned about you, too. First you get arrested because they find you near a dead body. Now you’re on the news…”

  “I’m on the news?” I said as my eyes widened.

  “Yes! Two dead bodies outside your apartment and you’ve gone missing. How could they ignore a story like that?”

  “What else have they said?”

  “Not much else. They don’t know much. Just what I told you.”

  “Good. They shouldn’t know. They shouldn’t worry themselves like that.”

  “You called me out here for a reason. You have to tell me what’s going on.”

  “I guess I do,” I sighed. “It’s a good thing I called you out to this place, seeing as how much attention I’ve already drawn.”

  The bar was in a seedy part of town. There were fancier places but I wasn’t much for crowds. A place like this was only here for people who wanted to drink. The lights were dim and a tinge of cigarette smoke made it harder to see. The music from the jukebox was barely audible. The wood paneling on the floor and walls had a pungent smell. There was no socializing or dancing. There were no assholes trying to impress women because they wanted to get laid. It was just a place for people to get away from the rest of the world. It was the kind of atmosphere I needed.

  I fit right in with everybody else. Just a woman trying to have a drink. But Mya stood out. She always did. A pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt weren’t enough to stop her from having this inexplicable quality you rarely saw in this city. I guess that’s what being an accomplished defense attorney did for you.

  “Tell me something, Eva.”

  “Yeah?” I said, staring blankly at the glass of liquor in front of me.

  “Start from the beginning. What were you doing at Sinful?”

  “It was a case.”

  “I know it’s a case. Missing people… The entire city is on edge.”

  “No,” I sighed. “I’ve still got a long way to go.”

  “You find a dead body. You get falsely arrested but now you’re a person of interest. Two guys show up at your apartment building. They’re dead. Now you’re here drinking. Something tells me it’s not because of all the death you’ve just witnessed.”

  “Oh, it’s death all right. It’s the death of my sanity in this case. Then again, I was never too sane to begin with…”

  “Are you going to tell me what’s happening with you? I can help you.”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “You can’t. I wish you could… But you can’t.”

  “Maybe I can’t solve this case for you. But I can be there for you. I can listen.”

  I looked back at my friend. Even in the spottiest bar in the city, she managed to look like something from heaven here to save me. A kind smile on her face and sympathy in her eyes. The only thing she was missing was the halo around her head.

  “I’m… I’m just tired,” I sighed. “I’m tired of thinking I have everything figured out and then… not.”

  “Stop being cryptic with me. Give it to me straight, Eva.”

  “It’s… It’s about a man.”

  “Oh?” She raised an eyebrow at me. “I can’t remember the last time you’ve talked to me about that. And I don’t think it ever bothered you.”

  “No. It’s been a long time since… since I had any kind of feelings for someone. I thought I’d be able to just have a physical connection with someone and leave it at that. You know, just kind have a process to satisfy my needs.”

  “I think we all want that. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I’m not ashamed of that. I’m embarrassed because I was foolish enough to believe my feelings were justified. I was right all along.”

  “Who is this guy? And what did he do wrong?”

  “Who is he? That’s a good question.”

  I gulped down the gin then motioned at the bartender with my index finger. I watched the alcohol splash into my empty glass, the only comfort that could soothe me at the moment.

  “I’m working on the case with him,” I said.

  “Partners? You’ve never worked with a partner on a case before.”

  “This is different… You know this case is bigger.”

  “That’s true. So, let me get this straight. You agreed to work with someone on this case and now you’re telling me you might have feelings for him. Eva, you know that—”

  “Yes, I’m an idiot. You don’t have to remind me. I don’t like complications. I prefer to keep things simple. Now look where I am.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  Mya was sympathetic to my cause. She always was. Even in my most dire moments, she was still there for me. When I looked at her, there was a part of me that felt sorry for her.

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “This is my problem. I’m the one who has to deal with it.”

  “You can’t do everything by yourself. You don’t have to—”

  “I have to do this. I… I have to figure this out for myself.”

  “All right,” she sighed. “I know better than to try and change your mind, as stubborn as you are. Just remember you’re not alone and I’m willing to do whatever I can for you.”

  As I stared at her, something came over me. I didn’t know what it was but I started to smile. Then an uncontrollable giggle worked its way up from my chest.

  “What?” she said. “What’s so funny?”

  I started laughing even harder at her. The alcohol was affecting me but I didn’t care.

  “Eva?”

  The feeling past after a few seconds and I was finally able to gather enough composure to speak.

  “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” I explained.

  “You didn’t deserve me. We’re just friends. It just happens. You don’t plan these things.”

  “Yeah… Yeah, I guess you don’t. Maybe that’s what I should do. Just keep moving forward and let whatever happens happen.”

  “Just try not to get yourself into any more trouble, okay?”

  I glanced over to the side and saw a group of guys sitting at a table by themselves. They were in their early-twenties, probably fresh out of college. They looked like they’d just come to the city and were trying to make it. You wouldn’t know that if you asked t
hem though. They’d probably talk about their made-up bank accounts and expensive cars and eight-figure jobs.

  The alcohol was beginning to talk to me. And it was telling me these guys were exactly what I needed to get my mind off of everything.

  “Trouble,” I said. “Maybe that’s what I need.”

  I gave Mya a sideways glance. She looked back at me and rolled her eyes at me. She knew better than to stop me when I was in one of my moods.

  “Is that really something you’re looking for tonight?”

  I thought to myself about it. I remembered John. Derek. Whatever his name was. I remembered the hurt I felt when I realized he wasn’t being honest with me. There was a mix of anger and frustration that clouded my better judgment.

  “Tonight,” I said. “I just need something to get me through tonight. That’s all I need—”

  “Miss Lynch.”

  I heard a voice coming from behind me. I spun around in my chair and looked at the man standing there.

  The first thing I noticed was I couldn’t see his eyes, as they were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. His head was shaved clean, the only hair on his head the goatee around his mouth. He wore a leather jacket with a dirty white undershirt underneath. Along with a pair of jeans and some boots, the man looked completely out of place.

  I couldn’t see his eyes but I knew he wasn’t here to be my friend. The jacket would have been enough. It was too hot in the city to be dressed like that. There was something else about him. How much I had to drink wouldn’t stop me from figuring it out.

  “I’d like to speak to you,” he said. “In private.”

  I looked around the bar for anybody else that was suspicious. I didn’t know the man and there was no telling if he were alone. The dim lighting of the bar didn’t do me any favors.

  A quick glance to Mya was enough to let me see the concern on her face. But I wasn’t worried. The man wouldn’t have tried anything in the middle of the bar. There were too many people around us.

  “You can speak to me here,” I said.

  “It’s a personal matter I’d like to discuss with you.”

  “Anything you personally say to me, you can personally say to my friend here. I don’t keep any secrets here. Take it or leave it, buddy.”