When She Least Expected It

by Jeanette Lynn

  "Mary," she said quietly, and reciprocated, taking my hand and shaking it, both of us ignoring Glenda as she tried to rally the men against us.

  "I demand to know what she said!" Glenda snapped, sticking her nose up at us, her finger flinging up to point at us flimsily next.

  "Sure thing, Mrs. Geralds," I said sweetly, a small, knowing smile lighting my face. “I was just telling Mary here about my last art show. I put a painting I'd made of Will in it, but, you know, don't worry, Mrs. G," I winked at her, "his hand was covering up all the good bits. And besides, the apple was the real focal point anyway."

  "Apple?" Will's brother, Frederick, choked out.

  "Bit!" Will gaped at me.

  "He's naked?!" Glenda gasped, her hands beginning to tremble in outrage.

  Big Bill over there just looked amused.

  "She called me a penniless artist, Tin Man. You didn't really think you could just ditch me with her, let her tear me down and try to tell me why she feels I'm not good enough for you, and I would just go willingly like a lamb to the slaughter?"

  Will's expression changed and he glanced at his mother, who was looking at us with way too much interest at the moment. "Mother?" Will asked quietly, his face stony.

  "Yes, William?" she asked innocently.

  "Cut the crap, Glenny, and fess up," Bill piped up, crossing his arms over his wide chest as he stared his wife down.

  "I don't know what you mean, Billy," she simpered petulantly, not meeting his eyes.

  "Is she like this with you?" I asked Mary as she walked over to Frederick.

  "All the time," Mary admitted quietly.

  "Mary?" Frederick asked, staring down at her, surprised.

  "I tried to tell you years ago, Freddy, but you just brushed it off and told me I was over reacting, so I put up with it. I got used to it,” she admitted reluctantly, her face burning with embarrassment as her slumped shoulders lifted and fell in a half-hearted shrug.

  Lips pursing, I studied Frederick intently. "So you're an ass-hat too, huh?" I asked Frederick bluntly, who sputtered and gaped at me, taken aback at my quick defense of his lady love.

  "Do you hear her, Billy?" Glenda gasped, grasping at straws.

  "I hear her loud and clear," Bill replied, red-faced.

  Ooooh, he looks mad.

  "I'm very sorry, Mary, my dear, I had no idea she was up to her old tricks," Bill began apologetically.

  "Bill!" Glenda shrieked, throwing her hands up dramatically as her face pulled, fighting her angry grimace. Botox, crazy stuff. One more reason to just let nature take its course.

  "And I'm very sorry, Tabitha," Bill apologized, turning and addressing me.

  "Hey, no sweat. You didn't do it." I gave him a reassuring smile, shrugging.

  "You're apologizing to her! I can’t- You won’t- She called..." Glenda started.

  "Did you do this to Jinny, too?" I asked his mother curiously, cutting her off.

  "NO! Jinny was a good girl, and she never would have insulted me in my own home. Jinny," she sniffed, "is a lady."

  Running a finger beneath my nose, shadowing my mouth, I smiled at her knowingly. "Lady, huh? I completely agree.” I gave a sharp nod. “She even gave Will a black eye. In my book that's down right lady like.” I tossed the words out there sarcastically. Let her do with that what she shall. "Even if you deserved it," I added, glancing at Will.

  "Why, thank you, short shit, I love you, too," Will remarked blandly, fighting a laugh.

  "Any time, sasquatch, anytime," I said saucily, winking up at him, leaning into him as he broke out in a round of chuckles.

  "She gave you..." his mother trailed off. “Will?" she asked carefully, blinking in disbelief.

  "Yup," he confirmed, nodding at her, tapping the once blackened eyeball.

  "Punched him in the face," I added helpfully, nodding enthusiastically.

  Her jaw slackened, and she just stood there, stunned, jerking only a little when I walked over and patted his mom on the back—a quick there-there pat. "Makes Mary and me sound down right congenial, doesn't it?"

  Epilogue

  A year later

  "No peeking," Will ordered as he led me, blindfolded, outside.

  "I don't peek,” I tried not to grumbled. “Where would the fun in that be? Besides," my lips tipped up and I smiled to myself, "I already have your present and you couldn't possibly top mine.

  "Oh, I dunno, short shit. My valentine's day gift is pretty awesome." The excitement in Fancy Pant’s voice had me grinning, it was so infectious.

  "Still won't beat mine," I taunted in a sing-song voice.

  "We'll see," he murmured secretively. “Now, watch your step. There you go. Easy now.”

  I knew where we were the second my shoe touched wood. The dock, I thought, smiling again.

  "Wait for it, wait for it... Okay! Now!" Will called excitedly.

  Pulling at the material, I pulled my blindfold off, laughing happily when I spotted a blanket set up by the edge of the dock. A plate with peanut butter cups and an ice bucket full of waters and sodas sat on it, waiting.

  Heart dancing, I grinned and glanced at Will, pausing when I found him kneeling down in front of me on one knee.

  While I took a moment to remember to breathe, he took my hand in his and kissed the top of it. "Tabitha, Bit, short shit, Monroe," he started, winking up at me, "Will you make me the happiest man alive? What do you say, baby, marry me?"

  "That and alternately the most miserable," I said sweetly, referring to when I'd threatened to hang his naked apple portrait in the guest bathroom of our house. I loved that phrase—our house.

  We did end up deciding to move a short distance away in a bigger house, but still kept my old house to stay in on the weekends when we felt like being near the lake.

  Will's accounting business was thriving, and my paintings are selling like hot cakes, and we had each other, so all was well in the world.

  "Are you really gonna make me sit here, getting my pants dirty, while you think about it, short shit?" Will taunted haughtily.

  "Nah." I wiggled my fingers, smiling at him. "I'll go willingly."

  He put a beautiful, marquis cut, diamond ring on my finger and kissed the knuckle it rested on.

  "Besides," I tacked on, "I'd hate to have to sit through you telling our baby how you had to drag me to the altar to marry you."

  “Like hell, I’d-” And then what I’d said registered. "Bit?" Will asked excitedly.

  I nodded and he hopped up, whooping happily. Picking me up swiftly to give me a little spin, our lips met and my man planted a long, exuberant kiss on me.

  Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled back a little, before I lost myself to him completely, giving him a big, shit-eating grin. "See? Told ya my present was the best!"

  "Yes, it was, Bit. Yes, it was," he agreed, chuckling.

  The End

  Books by Jeanette Lynn

  Serendipitous Series

  Jingle Belled And Mistletoed

  When She Least Expected It

  Cosmic Soul Mates Series

  Stellar Proportions

  Out Of This Orbit

  On Her Axis

  Collide

  The Brides of Mordenne Series

  A Mate To Match

  In Her Eyes

  Tales of Mordenne- a Brides of Mordenne spinoff

  Tails of Mordenne

  The Elixir

  Pick Your Poison

  The Others

  The Toll

  Other Books

  Just Her Luck

  Of Another Dimension

  The Bridal Hunt

  BIO

  Jeanette Lynn lives with her Incredible Hunk, beyond awesome kiddos, and slightly eccentric terrier mixes. She enjoys spunky, snarky, take no crap heroines and kick ass, take names heroes.

  Thank you for purchasing and reading this e book.

  I hope you enjoyed it.

  Please take a moment to write a comment about it from the site
you got it from.

  It would be greatly appreciated.

  Thanks again and happy reading!

  ***

  Contact the Author:

  Email:

  authorjeanettelynn@yahoo.com

  Blog:

  authorjeanettelynn.blogspot.com

  Website:

  http://www.authorjeanettelynn.wix.com/jeanettelynnbooks