Want You Back

by Karen Whiddon

  “I want to be your friend.” The words slipped out, his voice sounding raw. If only she knew how much he meant it.

  Jenny stopped and stared. Again he saw a glimmer of a tear in her eyes, again he groaned inwardly.

  “I thought we were friends,” she said tightly. “Once. It’s a bit too late for that now.”

  Because she was right, he looked away. Her footsteps echoed on the concrete sidewalk as she strode to her car. He heard the engine start and listened as she drove away.

  For the first time he wondered why he’d ever thought he could return to Ater ... or to Jenny.

  Three blocks away, Jenny pulled her Honda over to the side and put it in park. She had to—her hands were shaking so badly she couldn’t drive.

  Jake seemed so different and yet so much the same.

  He’d wondered what had happened to her, why she seemed to have changed. Well his leaving had killed that part of her that he used to know—the spontaneous, carefree, casual part of her. Her life now might seem regimented to him, but she preferred it this way. It was safer when there were no surprises. No chance of being hurt.

  But Jake, even after what he’d done to her, even after two years had gone by, still had the power to hurt her. His casual I want to be your friend had nearly ripped her heart out. Even then, she was such a fool that she wanted to believe he’d meant it

  The worst thing was that she still found him attractive. Gorgeous. The two years had been kind to him. If anything, he’d gotten more muscular, more sexy. When she closed her eyes, she could still see him, naked. With his washboard stomach, muscular arms and broad shoulders, he looked like a romance novel cover model. Never had she met a man, before or since, who appealed to her more.

  But Jake Durham was trouble, with a capital T.

  She’d gone to try and dissuade him and failed miserably. He meant to go ahead with his half-baked plan for her town. And Justin T. Speerlock and the rest of the Ater city council would be right there cheering him on.

  For herself, she needed to be strong. As she’d been forced to be when she’d finally accepted that she’d been jilted. She’d put on a brave front, presented a serene, uncaring face, and gotten on with her life. Jake’s leaving hadn’t killed her, after all. His returning wouldn’t either.

  And she did have Howard. Steady, unemotional Howard. He would help her, he would be on her side. She’d call him as soon as she got back to the office.

  Thus fortified, Jenny put her car in drive and pulled back on to the street Jake wanted an accountant she would be that accountant When his so-called friends and business acquaintances got here—if they got here—she would do their accounting too. No one in Ater would have cause to talk about her or to doubt she was other than what she seemed to be. Happy. Well-adjusted. Content

  Odd how the thought had her clenching her teeth. Monica burst out die door as soon as Jenny pulled into the parking lot. She yanked open the car door as Jenny killed the engine. “Howard’s here,” she hissed. “Waiting in your office.”

  Jenny glanced at the sensible black sedan that Howard drove. “Good.” Swallowing, she forced a smile. “Great. I wanted to talk to him anyway.”

  “He’s upset,” Monica warned.

  “Seriously?” Jenny felt a surge of hope. She’d never seen Howard evince any sort of anger. He was always so ... reasonable.

  “Wait.” Monica grabbed her arm. “Before you go inside, I have to know. “What did Jake say?”

  Jenny forced herself to stay calm. “We had a very um, agreeable meeting,” she said brightly. “He insists that he means what he says, so I guess it won’t hurt anything to do his bookkeeping.”

  Monica regarded her with suspicion. “What did he do, ply you with alcohol or something?”

  Jenny laughed, glad that at least here she didn’t have to pretend. “Okay, okay. I decided that I wasn’t going to let Jake ruin my life. The past is past, right?” With a doubtful expression, Monica nodded.

  “So, if he can put it behind him, I should be able to also, right?”

  Again Monica bobbed her head.

  “I’ve decided I will be friendly to Jake. Distant, of course, but civil, in a professional sort of way. I could use the business. And if—I mean, when—the other businesses open, I will have even more clients.”

  ‘ ‘You are absolutely right! ” As Jenny had known she would, Monica embraced the idea with enthusiasm. Throwing her arms around Jenny, Monica hugged her tightly.

  “I’m so proud of you!”

  Jenny felt a twinge of guilt, which she instantly banished. She could do this, she knew she could. She would do this. She was over Jake, totally and completely. Nothing he did or didn’t do would have the power to hurt her ever again.

  “Thanks.” Extricating herself from Monica’s perfumed embrace, Jenny self-consciously smoothed down her skirt. Howard didn’t like it if she appeared wrinkled or ruffled in any way.

  “You look fine.” Monica gave her a tiny push. “Go get ’em, tiger. I put him in your office. I’ll hold your calls.”

  Curious to see what Howard would be like in a rage, Jenny quickened her steps.

  “Jennifer.” He met her in the reception area. As usual, Howard seemed put out, as if he were wasting valuable time by simply being there.

  She went to him, accepting the feathery kiss he placed on her cheek and dropping one of her own on the side of his face. Just once she wished he would hug her, put out his arms and embrace her tightly. But Howard viewed physical displays of affection as unseemly and always worried about what people would think.

  “Something amuses you?” Howard’s dry tone made her realize she’d been smiling.

  Remembering that Monica had said he was angry, Jenny sobered. As far as she could tell, Howard acted exactly like he always did. If there was anger there, she couldn’t see it But Howard had never been one for showing emotion.

  Motioning to a chair, Jenny went behind her desk and sat She steepled her hands in front of her, wondering why she felt like she was dealing with a client rather than a man who wanted to become her husband. So far she’d managed to turn him down and, except for her small white lie when she’d told Jake that Howard was her fiancé, Jenny couldn’t imagine being married to Howard. Ever.

  Even though Howard was all she wanted in a man. Steady, secure. Howard would never propose marriage after knowing her a mere month. Howard would never run off and leave his bride at the altar, either.

  Aghast that she was comparing the two, even if only in her mind, Jenny took a deep breath. Howard sat across from her, silently watching her. She wondered what would happen if she simply said nothing, meeting his gaze in a childish game of chicken until one of them looked away.

  Good Lord, what was wrong with her? Jake. It had to be him . . . and the way he had of bringing up the past and the person she used to be.

  She decided to bring up the subject herself, because Howard never would. “I suppose you are here because you’ve heard about Jake and me?”

  He looked startled, peering at her over the top of his wire-rim glasses. ‘Jake and you?” he repeated slowly, thoughtfully. Howard thought everything out before he said it. “As in personally?”

  She nodded.

  “No, I’m here on business mostly, my dear. You know I always believe in saving the personal matters for after hours. Between nine and five I’m strictly business.”

  Jenny frowned. “Then why are you here?”

  If he thought her question rude, Howard gave no sign. He simply studied his manicured nails and thought deeply about her question before he answered.

  Jenny, who tried not to find this particular habit of his irritating, took the opportunity to study him while she waited. He wasn’t a bad-looking man, no, not at all. In his expensive suit, with his carefully casual haircut, yuppie eyeglasses, and power tie, he looked the part of a young executive. Of course it helped that his father owned the local bank.

  Many women would find Howard attractive. Jenny tried he
r best to be one of them. He was considered to be one of the best catches in Ater.

  “Justin T. Speerlock and I were talking,” Howard said, in a faintly pompous tone.

  It took Jenny a minute to realize he was finally answering her question. “The mayor? I talked to the mayor earlier today.”

  “I’m a little upset by the idea that you refused to help Jake out,” he said.

  Then, while she was still reeling from this, Howard cocked his head, his patiently quizzical expression reminding her of a bear just waking from hibernation. “But I assured everyone that you were nothing if not reasonable. I told them that once you thought things through, you would surely make the right decision.” He sounded rather like a church elder counseling a rebellious teen, Jenny thought resentfully.

  “So are you going to get on board?”

  “On board?”

  “With Jake Durham’s plan.” He leaned forward, his expression animated for the first time since he’d arrived. “It will be a good thing—no, a great thing— for our city.”

  Maybe she was tired, but Jenny was having trouble following this. Howard supposedly wanted to marry her, though he’d never professed his love. Yet he seemed not at all concerned that the man who had jilted her had returned—and wanted her to do his bookkeeping.

  “Howard?” Reaching across the desk, she touched his hand. “You do remember what happened between Jake and me?”

  He moved his hand away, the gesture eerily enforcing her earlier impression of a sleepy bear swatting flies. “That’s in the past, isn’t it?”

  At her hesitant nod, he smiled, peering at her through his stylish glasses. “Then you are going to help Jake with whatever he needs?”

  It took every ounce of willpower Jenny had to keep herself from jumping to her feet and shouting at him. Didn’t Howard realize what this would do to her? With difficulty she forced herself to remember the plan she had come up with earlier to save face.

  “Of course,” she said smoothly, all but choking on the words. “I can always use more business.”

  Howard’s grin spread ear to ear, lighting up his face. “Atta girl!” Lumbering to his feet, he lightly punched her shoulder. “I knew I—we—could count on you.”

  Jenny’s stomach churned. By some miracle she kept a pleasant smile on her face as she walked him to his car.

  Before she could change her mind, Jenny called The Sentinel and took out a small ad, announcing her intention to do the bookwork for Jake’s restaurant. Goldie at the paper had been unable to hide her shock, and Jenny knew the news would be all over town in an hour.

  That was the easy part. The hard part would be figuring out what to say to Jake when he found out about her seemingly abrupt capitulation, especially after the way she’d confronted him that morning. That would be the true test, if she could look in his deep blue eyes and make him believe that she felt nothing.

  Chapter Three

  The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Jenny went home and, too tired to exercise, plopped down in a chair in front of the television. At exactly ten o’clock she turned on the news. At ten seventeen, when they’d finished the weather, she shut the TV off and climbed into bed. Routine, like numbers, made her happy, even if it was a little boring.

  But when she finally fell asleep she dreamed of Jake, and in her dreams she wasn’t safe, staid Jenny any longer.

  Jake, as was his habit, rose with the sun. He completed his daily yoga exercises; then, refreshed, he foraged in the gutted kitchen of the old house and made some green tea to carry outside.

  The backyard had a huge, covered porch. It had been more lovingly maintained than the house itself.

  This porch had been what attracted him to the house two years ago. A wild spray of rambler roses covered the trellises and huge caladiums nodded in the early morning sun. They’d held hands tightly on this porch, he and Jenny, unable to speak at first, but both immediately understanding what the other envisioned here.

  Barbecues and baby swings, a huge shaggy dog and a cat or two. This porch was made for families . . . for love. Since such a fate was never to be his, not now, he would put tables out here, cozy little tables covered in soft white linen. Maybe another couple, while eating here at his restaurant, would be able to experience the magic of this porch.

  That would have to be enough.

  He unrolled the morning newspaper and saw it, right on the front page like it was a major event. Jenny’s ad—or message or whatever it could be called. Shocked and surprised, he read it. Not once, not twice, but three times, trying to make sense of it and coming up empty.

  What had caused her abrupt about-face?

  She’d said it was too late for them to be friends.

  He read the ad again. Coolly professional, it sounded like the Jenny she had become, not like the Jenny he remembered. It said nothing about them being friends, yet it gave him cause to hope. So she was willing to maintain a professional relationship with him now, was she? He’d take it in a heartbeat. It sure was better than what she’d told him before— that she wanted nothing to do with him.

  A professional relationship would be a good starting point. He could build on that, learning what made Jenny tick now. From there he could figure out how he might best help her; how he might atone for the necessary hurt he’d caused her in the past.

  By his best estimate, the restaurant would be ready to open in six weeks. He needed to get everything set up with the IRS, set up his payroll, open accounts with suppliers, and various other bookwork. And needed to start as soon as possible.

  Energized, he drained his tea in one swallow. He would call Jenny’s office as soon as it opened and set up an appointment Then he could see if she really meant what she’d written in her advertisement.

  When the workmen showed up at eight, he’d just finished laying the last ceramic tile in the upstairs bath. He preferred handling all the restoration for his living area upstairs, letting the crew he’d hired take care of the downstairs restaurant area.

  Stepping back and surveying his work, he was pleased with the effect of the forest green tile. He and Jenny had talked about putting in the identical tile back when they’d planned on buying the house. He wondered what she’d think if she knew he was renovating the upstairs exactly the way they’d planned it together two years ago.

  Pushing away the thought, he grabbed the cordless phone and punched in her number from memory.

  Her secretary was cool and courteous, though he could have sworn amusement vibrated in the woman’s East Texas drawl. She booked him an appointment that afternoon at three.

  After that he found he couldn’t concentrate. Nothing held his interest, even though he’d planned on installing an antique oak cabinet in the upstairs bathroom. He felt like a kid at Christmas, even caught himself wondering if he should wear jeans or dress up a little in Dockers slacks and a button-down shirt.

  He settled for his faded work jeans and a clean T-shirt

  Three o’clock seemed to take forever to arrive. Waiting outside, he paced his covered patio, and forced himself to have a second mug of tea.

  He drove the workmen crazy, watching and making suggestions, until the foreman bluntly asked him if he had finished his own work upstairs.

  A couple of roast beef sandwiches served as lunch, along with some fresh peaches he’d gotten at a roadside stand.

  Then finally at half past two, dressed and ready, he got into his truck for the short drive to Jenny’s office. He’d actually backed out of his driveway before he realized he’d forgotten his ledgers and his notes.

  Shaking his head wryly, Jake wondered at himself. He, considered by some to be one of the best trained men in the field, fumbling about like an untried schoolboy.

  When he pulled up in front of her office, he didn’t feel much better. Because the humidity outside was already oppressive, he kept the engine and air conditioning running while he practiced some of the relaxation techniques he’d learned over the years. Finally when he had focu
sed, his breathing steady and his heartbeat regular, he felt relaxed and confident enough to face Jenny.

  Until she came to the door of her office and he saw her.

  Instead of the severe suit that he’d seen her in twice, she wore a linen sheath today, the pale green color of it complimenting her skin and glorious red hair.

  Jake’s mouth went dry. Reminding himself to take deep, steady breaths, he moved forward and held out his hand.

  She clasped it briefly, her touch cool as she inclined her head in greeting. “Good afternoon. You’re a little early. Monica had to run to the store for a minute. Come on in and have a seat.”

  He took a seat where she indicated, in one of the overstuffed chairs in the reception area. Bemused, he couldn’t keep from staring as she went to the reception desk and shuffled some papers. God, she was beautiful. Even more so than the memories he’d treasured for so long.

  Belatedly he looked down at his ledgers. Though it would be difficult, he’s have to project only a friendly interest. Nothing more, nothing less. He ought to be good at it by now—after all, he’d done nothing but act while undercover these last two years. He’d done what he had to.

  “Come on in.” Though she gave him a friendly smile, her beautiful jade eyes held no sparkle. Composed, she looked the part of the competent CPA as she led him into her office and took a seat on the other side of the antique oak desk.

  “Thank you for reconsidering.” If she wanted to act the part of the consummate professional, then so could he. Maybe if they established a solid footing in that arena, they could move on to friendship with time. “I have quite a bit to go over.”

  Her eyes widened, but that was the only sign she gave that she was surprised at his tone. With a nod, she glanced at her watch. It was a very elegant, very ladylike Rolex, he noted. Jenny, who had never even worn a watch when he first knew her, apparently now had expensive tastes.

  Handing her the ledger, Jake began explaining what he needed. She listened and took notes. If it weren’t for the pulse rapidly beating in the hollow of her throat, he would have believed her studied indifference to be real.