Independents: Taoree Trilogy #2

by Michele Notaro

  I took a shuddering breath and a wave of tremors racked my body, making Orr tighten his hold on me. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I didn’t understand the pull I felt toward him. I didn’t understand how these feelings were floating around inside of me when so much of my heart was still shattered after losing Colt.

  I didn’t understand any of it. But I could feel him there, always, wherever I went, wherever he was… and I wanted to be close to him. I couldn’t deal with any of the emotions, but I needed to be close, if only to soothe both our souls for a short while.

  When I shivered again, Orrean held me tighter and whispered, “Shh… it’ll be okay, Jeremy.”

  For some reason, I believed him.

  We both wound up falling back asleep, and when we woke in the morning, I squeezed him tight before we separated and went to our own bedrooms to get ready for the day.

  ***

  “So you’re telling me that the bug-bots have needles in their legs and will stab you in the brain to insert Qiren into you. And that these Qiren are the newest strain and therefore fast-acting, so there’d be no chance of getting back here in time to remove them. Is that what you’re saying?” I asked Nolan. My voice had gotten embarrassingly high-pitched by the end of that.

  Nolan sighed. “Not exactly how I put it, but basically, yes.”

  “Well, fuck,” Cal said.

  I couldn’t agree more with that.

  “Bug-bots? Really?” Orrean asked me, clearly trying to lighten up the mood of our team.

  I shrugged at him. “It’s better than calling them giant-Qiren-spider-crab-things, which is what I was calling them until right now.” I shot him a grin.

  His smile lit up his face and I was blown away by the beauty of it for a moment.

  Lee cleared his throat. “I assume weapons are being made to take these, uh, bug-bots out?”

  Nolan nodded. “Yes, but apparently they’re just going to be spears that will stab through the metal more easily than the shovels and stuff we were using yesterday.”

  Orrean seemed to regain his composure because he looked away from me to Nolan and asked, “Do you want to tell them that we weren’t the only team to encounter these bug-bots?” Orrean had obviously talked to Nolan and Ozias already, but he was letting Nol take the lead again. Still, I grinned at his use of my name for them. Nolan had given us the technical term for them—mexbetzcilsih-Qirenniren—but it was long and stupid-sounding, so I was glad everyone was using my term instead.

  “One other team ran into them. They lost two men. They were turned into Ferals right before their eyes.”

  Everyone went silent at that. I was sure that everyone had seen someone they loved turn into a Feral. It wasn’t something you’d wish upon anyone else.

  After a long moment, Nolan said, “We have been given the command to stay in today because they need time to make the spears. There should be enough spears for our team by tomorrow, but Commander Ozias doesn’t want anyone else being killed by the bug-bots. So it looks like we have time to train today. If anyone wants to go for a run, I’m heading down to the track field in a half hour.”

  “I’ll meet you there,” Cal and I said in unison.

  Nolan nodded at us before leaving the room, probably heading down to the control room. Every one of the team leaders worked in the control room and close to Ozias when they weren’t out in the field with their team. It made me wonder how the hell Nolan ever had time to eat or sleep. He was seriously constantly working, though I supposed that everyone was. If I wasn’t eating or sleeping, I was training or learning about some Taoree tool I needed to know how to use. I was secretly hoping that I’d get to learn how to fly one of the smaller spaceships they had, though I wasn’t sure how likely it’d be.

  Everyone started to leave the meeting room, but when Orrean walked by, I said his name. He looked at me expectantly, so I asked, “Are you coming running with us?”

  He grinned. “Sure.” Then he made his way out the door.

  Cal elbowed me and said in a sing-song voice, “You have a crush.”

  “I do not,” I argued.

  Wes laughed from the other side of Cal. “Don’t even try to deny it, J. You obviously like Orr.”

  I rolled my eyes at them. “You guys are stupid, he’s my…” Now that I knew what it meant, I didn’t really want to call him my Balu out loud. At least not yet.

  Cal threw his arm over my shoulders. “We’re just giving you shit, J. Don’t have an aneurism over it.” He and Wes started chuckling.

  “You both suck.”

  They laughed harder and it made me smile. I was happy they were having a good time, even if it was at my expense. Finding these little pieces of happiness was what made fighting for our lives worth it.

  “Are we allowed to eat lunch with Mandy since we’ll be home today?” I asked as we walked down the hallway, Cal’s arm still draped over me. He was still being even more handsy than he normally was… or maybe clingy was a better word. Not that I minded. I’d been enjoying the extra hugs I’d been getting from my best friend, since I needed them too, it was just strange and taking some time to get used to.

  “We should be able to, unless she’s too embarrassed by us,” Cal answered.

  “Why would she be embarrassed by us?”

  Wes started laughing again. “I think she’s just embarrassed by you two.”

  I reached behind Cal and punched Wes, though even that movement didn’t make Cal let go of me. I heard a weird hiss-growl sound and looked around, eventually finding Orrean standing at the end of the hall watching us. When we reached him, Cal finally dropped his arm from my shoulders, though I saw a frown on his face that I returned.

  I looked back at Orr. He was leaning against the wall with his arms folded in front of him and his ankles crossed, scowling at us. When we passed him and he didn’t follow, I looked over my shoulder and asked, “Aren’t you coming with us?”

  He nodded and pushed off the wall, following behind us.

  After a minute, Cal called over his shoulder, “Are you following behind us just so you can check out J’s ass?”

  “What?” Orrean sputtered out, “No! No… I’m not… I didn’t…”

  Wesley and Calloway started cracking up laughing, holding each other up as they continued walking. The dorks.

  I shook my head and walked beside Orrean, who immediately said, “I promise that’s not what I was doing.”

  I frowned at him. “Is my ass not nice to look at?”

  He gaped at me and opened and closed his mouth several times before I couldn’t hold back my laughter. I shoulder bumped him as I laughed. “Dude, I was joking. Relax, Mr. Serious.”

  He gaped at me again before finally recovering and saying, “That’s not my name.”

  I snorted at that. “Be careful or I’ll start calling you Captain Obvious.”

  “Captain… Obvi—oh. Oh.” He shoulder bumped me back and said sarcastically, “Hilarious, Jeremy.”

  I chuckled. “I thought so.”

  He huffed out a laugh and shook his head as we followed my idiot brothers down to the track field. When Orr started stretching beside me, I couldn’t help but run my eyes over the long lean muscles of his body. He was seriously hot, and even with my heart in a million pieces, I couldn’t help but notice. Unfortunately Orrean noticed me ogling him, because he smiled a knowing grin at me, then hip checked me as he ran by and called out, “Like what you see?” He started laughing as he ran.

  I held in a little groan as I watched his backside jogging away. Then I shook it off and ran to catch up with him. I grabbed onto his arm and yanked him to a stop to face me, ready to argue that I wasn’t checking him out, even though I totally was.

  But the moment I looked into his eyes, I lost my ability to speak. I was drawn in like a moth to a flame, and before I could stop myself, I was pressed against him, chest to chest. Both of us were breathing heavy, our chests rubbing against each other and sending sparks all over my body. />
  He leaned down toward me and I went up on my toes, but I paused with my mouth mere inches away from his. Something squeezed around my heart and a pang of guilt ran through me. I knew Colt was no longer with us, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like kissing Orrean would be a betrayal of his memory. No matter how badly I wanted to.

  So I faltered and leaned my head down so my forehead was on his chest instead. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with Orrean’s delicious smell. He put his hands on my shoulders and rubbed my muscles there, calming me. After a few more deep breaths, I lifted my head to talk to him.

  “Orrean,” I whispered.

  He brushed the hair off my forehead. “Come on, let’s run,” he said quietly with a small smile, though the hurt behind his eyes was noticeable.

  Still, I was grateful for the pass he was giving me, so I nodded and we took off again beside each other.

  We caught up with Nolan and nearly everyone from our team on the track. Even though I knew Orrean could run much faster than me, he stuck by my side for the entire two-hour run. We didn’t say much, but I found that I didn’t mind. At. All. In fact, I was at peace for the first time since we’d come out of that weird tube. I was relaxed, and so was he, and our family members seemed at ease as well. Orrean even sat beside me when my whole family met Mandy for her lunch break from school. Mandy was, in fact, embarrassed by us, but I knew she was also secretly pleased that we’d all come to have lunch with her.

  ***

  I looked around and found myself in the place of my worst nightmares. But then I turned around and found Colt standing there and I ran for him. Oh god. Finally. Finally. Colt finally came to me. I couldn’t believe he was really here.

  “Colt? Babe?” I sobbed out as I reached for him.

  But my arm slipped through his body. What the hell? I tried again, but my hand slipped through him again. Why? Why can’t I touch you? I could always hold Orrean in my dreams, and now Colt finally came and I couldn’t even touch him. What was going on?

  “Colt?” I begged. “Please, Colt, I need to hold you.” Tears were running down my cheeks.

  “Promise me,” Colt suddenly whispered, looking like he was in pain.

  “I promise,” I heard my own voice come from behind me.

  I turned and saw myself standing there… and I was holding onto Colt.

  No. Oh, god, no.

  This wasn’t a dream… this was a memory… my memory of Colt… dying. I felt more tears fill my eyes as I realized what was happening.

  Colt looked over my shoulder and asked, “You will keep… your promises?”

  “I swear it,” Orrean said from behind me. I spared him a glance, but I didn’t want to take my eyes off of Colt. This was the first time I’d seen him in months.

  Colt nodded slightly at Orrean, then he looked at me, but not me, he looked at the memory-me and panted out, “Don’t be mad at him… I made him… promise.” He closed his eyes tight and groaned, then reopened them. “Give him a chance.”

  “Wha… what?” My voice asked him.

  I watched helplessly as Colt clung to my arms and I pulled him into a tight embrace as I whispered over and over, “I love you. I love you.”

  I took a step back and watched as he started screaming in pain, and in my memory, I sobbed as I held him. Though I sobbed now, too.

  There was nothing I could do but watch as my heart shattered all over again the longer he screamed in pain. His screaming went on for what felt like an eternity, but then, it suddenly stopped, and he stood up straight, pulling out of my arms as he started chanting.

  Watching Orrean pull me out of the house as I screamed and fought him only made me cry harder. I tried to walk toward Colt to get one last look at his beautiful face, but then everything around me faded to darkness.

  Suddenly a new picture appeared around me and I found myself staring at Orrean as I beat on him and screamed and cried and blamed him, standing on the porch outside.

  Orrean was trying to calm me, trying to hold me and comfort me, but I fought him until I finally wore myself out. I watched Orrean’s face closely. He was crying, but trying to hold it in, trying to keep himself from falling apart like I was. I could feel the anguish in his heart as he held me.

  My surroundings faded and reappeared again. Orrean was standing in front of Colt… only, it wasn’t really Colt, it was a Feral. Colt’s eyes were foggy and white, and he was going after Orrean with a fire poker.

  “Colt, please,” Orrean begged as he held out a shoian. “Please.” I heard Orrean let out a loud sob.

  “It’s okay, Orrean.” The sound of Cal’s voice made me jump. I turned and found him standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and tears running down his cheeks. “That’s not Colt, Orr. You saw what he tried to do to me. You have to… it isn’t him anymore. You have to do it.” Cal ran his hand over his face. “It’s going to be okay, Orrean… I’m sorry.”

  Orrean glanced at Cal and nodded, then turned back to Colt and whispered, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.” Then he held his shoian up to Colt.

  “No!” I yelled.

  Colt started shaking from the electrocution, then he dropped to the ground.

  Orrean fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands, but Cal came over and pulled him into a hug.

  The scene quickly faded out, and for a split second we were standing on a different porch, and I watched myself push Orrean down the steps as I screamed at him, “You killed him, didn’t you? You fucking killed my boyfriend.” I pushed him again.

  He stepped off the porch and away from me. “He didn’t want to live like that.”

  “I’m going to fucking kill you. How could you?” I was screaming.

  The scene switched again and I cursed. We were outside and I was standing beside the memory-Orrean as we both watched me pull back the sheet over Colt’s head and play with his hair and kiss his forehead, then his lips. I could feel Orrean’s anguish and heartbreak as if it were my own.

  I gasped as I woke up. I couldn’t get enough air. I couldn’t fucking breathe.

  My bedroom door flew open and Orrean ran through, kneeling beside my bed and pushing me to sit up, facing him. He took my head in his hands and pulled me forward so my forehead was on his shoulder. Orrean’s light started pushing into me, filling me with warmth and allowing me to breathe again.

  After a minute, I pushed up, wiped the tears I must’ve shed in my sleep off my cheeks and croaked out, “Why did you take me with you?”

  He opened his mouth in surprise, but no sound came out. He swallowed hard before he whispered, “I didn’t mean to.”

  I stared at him.

  He quietly told me, “My fekioirs fell off my hand.”

  “Your what?” I asked.

  “My fekioirs.” I had no clue what he was talking about, but luckily he explained, “I wear it on my hand at night to prevent me from dream-walking. It must’ve been knocked off in my sleep. I’m very sorry.”

  That’s why he hadn’t been coming to me in my dreams? He was purposefully blocking me out?

  “Why are you doing that?” I finally asked.

  He looked away from me. “Because you told me not to dream-walk with you anymore.”

  Oh. “Uh... I guess it fell off when you came to me after,” I took a deep breath, “my nightmare?”

  He shook his head. “It was still in place when I woke. I don’t know how you pulled me to you that night.”

  I swallowed and he shoulder roll-shrugged one shoulder. Obviously he was just as clueless as me with all this shit.

  I cleared my throat. “So, um… you can bring me into a memory?”

  He nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

  I nodded and decided to change the subject. “You… why were you thinking about Colt?”

  “I…” He ran his hand across his forehead. “I saw you holding his hat for a long time before you put it on this morning. I knew you were missing him, so,” he shrug
ged, “I was thinking about him… and missing him too.”

  I nodded and looked away from him. “I’m sorry I was a dick when… he died.”

  Orrean put his hands on my thighs. “You have nothing to apologize for. You were grieving.”

  I looked down at him. “Still… I was a jerk to you.”

  He did that shoulder roll shrug thing and one corner of his mouth lifted into a little smile. “It’s okay.”

  I had to look away from him as I said, “I know you didn’t want to do it.” I sighed. “That had to be hard.”

  He stood up and I thought he was going to leave, but then he sat on the bed beside me and looked me in the eyes again. “You know, he’s not the first person I cared about that I had to watch go through the torture of Qiren… melting their brain.”

  “What? Are you serious? Who else?” Did one of his friends turn before he found us in my childhood home?

  He took a deep breath. “How do you think the Legion had the technology when we came to Earth? Thelonious tested out different strains of Qiren on my home planet. Anyone that spoke up against him was used as a test subject. When he found a strain that worked on the Taoree brain, he wanted to show me and Ozias. He took us down to his lab one night.”

  Orrean smiled sadly and his eyes started to fill up with tears as he continued, “Autnomlias was my best friend, my first boyfriend. We grew up together, yet there he was, strapped to a table with wires hooked up all over his body. I tried to go to him, tried to pull off his restraints, but Thelonious had a couple of guards hold me back.” He ran his hand across his forehead. “I had to watch as the Qiren melted his brain… it was one of the first strains ever made, so they weren’t as efficient. It took almost an hour for the Qiren to finish the job.”

  I grabbed his hand and squeezed. He didn’t pull away, but he wasn’t looking at me, not really. He was staring off, a million miles away as he continued, “Thelonious forced me to watch as he slowly killed my boyfriend right in front of me. No matter what I did, he wouldn’t let me go to him. When Autnomlias reached out to me, I couldn’t…” He took a shaky breath, obviously trying to hold back tears. “It was a warning. I’d spoken up to him earlier that week because I didn’t agree with one of the laws he was passing.” He finally looked at me. “Just because I questioned one thing he’d done, he tortured and killed my best friend… my only real friend.”