Unsuitable Obsession - Part One

by Trisha Fuentes

  She oftentimes found herself bawling her head out, curling up in ball in the shower and crying like she never thought she could or realize. She was so madly in love with him now; she couldn’t quite remember when she wasn’t in love with Eduardo. When did she first realize…The day she met him?

  Oh God, it was nearly fifteen years! In a blink of an eye, she had managed to deceive, mislead, betray, and be disloyal towards her family, Victor. Her own mother asked her to leave him, but she didn’t listen. Oh, she should have…she should have! But the very next day, she saw Eduardo at a family picnic and was not capable of doing so, he was so adorable that day, playing with his cousins, nieces, nephews and daughter, dressing up as a clown, making everyone laugh. Amber couldn’t help but fall head over heels for him again. Everyone, especially the ladies, fell in love with Eduardo that day; he just seemed to hold that persuasion on the female heart.

  Amber closed her eyes and stared at the fixture on the wall; Jesus hanging on the cross. Inside a church, The Family was heartbroken, Tió Lamberto had passed away.

  Rosalba was crying uncontrollably while Fabrizio tried to calm her down. Lamberto was her older brother, and she wasn’t the only one who was going to miss him, Victor was crying as well and Amber reached over and grabbed his hand.

  Amber’s heart filled with anguish at that moment. Seeing Victor in so much pain made her realize that leaving him would be devastating, she just couldn’t do it, won’t, will. But then, as she watched Tió Lamberto’s casket being rolled down the aisle, she eyed Eduardo pushing the casket along. An intense expression so unbecoming of him, she knew in her heart that she couldn’t leave him as well.

  The Family was outside, soothing one another when Victor suddenly grabbed Amber and cried on her shoulder. It was a distant feeling she had towards him and was odd; he was like a stranger to her now and she tried to feel something by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer to her chest but over his shoulder, she eyed Eduardo watching her as she tried to console his brother.

  They walked together towards the gravesite, hand in hand, dressed in black, engrossed in sorrow; women were crying hysterically while the men disguised their grief by wiping their noses on their shirt sleeves. Children laughed and played amongst the headstones, unable to fathom the realization that they would never see their loving Tió Lamberto again but in the clouds or in their dreams of Heaven.

  Leticia walked over to Amber and held her hand within hers. “You’ve known him longer; did you know he was sick?”

  Amber felt peculiar holding Leticia’s hand; an overwhelming sense of remorse entered her heart. “No—I...I think Victor did though.”

  Leticia wiped mascara around her eyes. “This is all very sad, my grandfather died a couple of years ago and we never had this much family come to his funeral.”

  Amber swallowed hard; she was right and looked around them, so many family members and nearly one hundred, two hundred, maybe even three. Trucks and cars lined up around the block, more even entering through the cemetery gates.

  Victor came up behind them, took Leticia’s other hand and held it. “I’m so glad you’re here Leticia, our family wouldn’t be the same without you,” he smiled, presenting a weak smile for his wife as well.

  That was a very nice thing to say, Amber thought as she noticed Eduardo walking towards the three of them. With his hands down his pant pockets; he ambled over, his look no more uplifted than theirs. “God, I’m gonna miss him,” Eduardo suddenly burst out, choking back his tears.

  Amber set out towards her brother-in-law first unaware that she was doing so and Eduardo saw her approaching; his arms went wide to receive her. Victor headed towards him first however, as Amber deliberately stepped back—grasping what nearly took place? Eduardo veered towards his brother instead and closed his eyes realizing what just happened unconsciously. Eduardo embraced his little brother back and brought his body near.

  “I love you Eduardo,” Victor expressed, squeezing him tight.

  “I love you too squirt.”

  Amber nearly died at the sight of Eduardo displaying affection towards Victor. “Oh God!” She cried out loud, releasing Leticia’s cold hand and running away.

  Victor disengaged from Eduardo and eyed his wife running away. “Amber—”

  Amber doesn’t look back. I can’t leave! Eduardo won’t leave! Leticia’s gonna get hurt, Victor’s gonna get hurt! This is so wrong! This isn’t right! What the hell am I doing? What the hell!

  “Amber, wait, Amber!”

  Eduardo stood frozen and eyed his sister-in-law running away, wanted to dart after her as well…wanted to…but couldn’t. Good God what absolute hell! With his family all together, all he could do was wonder why. Why was she crying? What the hell was she doing? Where the hell was she running off to?!

  Rosalba grabbed her son’s hand and squeezed it tight within hers, “Mehiò, you have to go back to the office soon?”

  “No Mama, I took the day off,” he gave to her, continuing to watch Amber run further and further away into the cemetery lawns.

  Rosalba couldn’t help but glimpse towards the area where her son was staring. Victor was running after his wife. Amber reached the mausoleum and dashed inside. Victor followed her in. “It’s a good thing he has her, I don’t believe he could handle this if he didn’t,” Rosalba relayed, walking away from Eduardo at that moment with Leticia’s hand. “Leticia daughter, come with me and greet some relatives of mine from Mexico.”

  Eduardo was left alone and detached with his deep concern for his beloved. Does he make a complete ass of himself and run after her as well? What the hell was she doing running away? What the hell was going on? He took a step forwards then backwards again. Does he let his brother handle the situation? Does he allow himself to refrain? Good God he wanted her so much it tore him to pieces too!

  Victor reached Amber crying uncontrollably on a marble wall filled with plaques. Goes over to her body and lifted up her face. “I didn’t think you cared so much for Tió Lamberto,” he asked honestly.

  Amber continued to cry…sobs so loud… she fell to the floor accepting her role and anguish.

  Twenty-Eight

  When It's Bad ~ It's Ugly

  It had been four months of being apart, in the middle of the calendar year when there were no holidays for The Family to draw together. No funerals, no weddings, no birthdays; no open excuses for them to see each other outside of work. Eduardo was constantly being reprimanded for continually being late, for handing in jumbled briefs, he was constantly being sent out of town. Amber too, never concentrated during work hours, her time was spent thinking about Eduardo, where he was, and how The Family would accept them as a couple.

  It was in the afternoon, on a Wednesday. The sunlight streamed through an opening in the motel curtains at The Rose Motel & Gardens making the sordid ambience almost beautiful. They said nothing…they didn’t have to. Amber knew exactly how to gratify him; Eduardo was obliging, knew specifically how to please her. Hands roaming nakedness, mouths expressing pleasure, they were both on the same wavelength towards the identical finish line.

  Back to front, Amber was straddling Eduardo in a chair. She leaned forward first and allowed his substance to plunge inside her; his hands instinctively inch their way down through her soft curls, and rubbed her sex as she continued to ride him slickly. She arched her back to lean on his chest as Eduardo brought his hands up and around her breasts and instantaneously, their mouths weld, tongue to tongue, his hand still on her sex, her torso rapidly brought him and herself to culmination.

  They pulled apart for a moment, bodies breathing heavily trying to wind down from euphoria when Amber decided to say what was finally in her heart. She wanted Eduardo no matter what and wanted him in her life period, she loved him so much; she would do anything for him and Amber decided she would leave Victor first. Cast everything away, her marriage, her children, would Eduardo do the same?

  Sighing heavily, Amber would have to say
it now or die from constant suppression. “I’m leaving Victor.”

  Eduardo opened up his eyes. Did she just say that? The announcement he wanted to avoid at all costs? “What?” He asked wanting affirmation.

  “I’m leaving Victor…I’m going to ask him for a divorce,” she expressed, standing up from his sitting body.

  “I’m not leaving Leticia,” Eduardo stated roughly. After he said it he wished to God he hadn’t. Amber’s shocked glare made his heart sink.

  “Did I ask you to leave her? No, I just said I was leaving Victor, I’ll continue to be your mistress.”

  Eduardo closed his eyes in astonishment. “Do you realize what you’re saying Amber, if this ever gets out?”

  Amber was furious now. Good Lord! Did he just agree to that part of being his mistress? She just wanted him to contend that he’d do the same, leave his wife for her! Amber was livid, upset wasn’t even the word. She wanted to have her way, throw a tantrum, whatever she could to try and sway his actions into agreeing to react.

  Eduardo leaned down, pulled his clothes off the floor.

  Amber noted his angered feedback. Why did he always do that? Show his inner-spoiled brat by getting dressed in a hurry? “Eduardo please, I can’t do this anymore,” Amber said, pleading her case.

  “Can’t do which part?” He shouted back at her. “Sleep with me? Meet at motels, work? What!” Eduardo stood up—reached for his shoes—throws one by one, furiously against the wall. “Fuckin Amber, we just had the best sex ever and you start up this shit?”

  Eduardo’s remark made her feel like an idiot. Amber expressed desperation now. “You don’t love her...you never have...you love me, don’t you want to leave her for me?”

  Eduardo’s muscles tensed up. “Amber, we can’t. It would ruin what we have now...it would ruin them.”

  “Them meaning your parents...your family,” Amber mocked their existence now, something she thought she’d never do.

  “Do you know what it would do to my family if they ever found out about us?” Eduardo gave to her, instantly remembering the day of the funeral.

  “Do you know what it’s doing to me every time I’m not in the same room with you?” Amber cried, pulling her clothes off the dresser. “I love you so much but I’m forced to be without you!”

  “Amber calm down. This isn’t that easy. My family...it would be a scandal. They would be ashamed, after Tió Lamberto died, everyone united. The bond is tighter now, more than ever, do you even realize that? I won’t do that to them, I just can’t. Can’t.” Eduardo zipped up his pants, searched for his undershirt.

  “Can’t...won’t...is more like it,” Amber quipped. “I’m scared too Eduardo, I’m going to hurt Victor, and I don’t want to hurt him.”

  “I don’t want to either, I love my brother,” Eduardo expressed looking away in agony. He closed his eyes in frustration. Why was this happening? Why did she have to bring them up again? What the hell was she doing?

  “We’ve been sleeping together for three years Eduardo, and not once have I woken up in your arms. I want to have breakfast with you; hold hands on the beach, go to Vegas, Europe, or Mexico—just go away, anywhere—together. We always sneak around…make love in a hurry. Don’t you want some sort of normality?” Amber paused and waited for a response from him but doesn’t get one.

  Eduardo continued to shake his head and combed his fingers through his hair, “It’s not that easy...”

  “I know you could do it...it’s not that hard…please leave her, Eduardo,” Amber pleaded with him, holding up a nearby wall she was nearly out of breath watching Eduardo stubbornly pace the floor out in front of her.

  “Why can’t you fathom the outcome?”

  “Why can’t you realize I would do anything for you?”

  “I do realize that, but why are you starting this now?”

  “Damn you, Eduardo! Damn you!” Amber yelled back at him, he wasn’t listening to her; he was only listening to common sense. “I don’t want this to sound like an ultimatum,” Amber let out suddenly, still standing her ground.

  “Don’t you dare,” he avowed, staring her down.

  “But if our situation doesn’t change, then I’m leaving,” Amber asserted. “How much longer do I have to wait for you?”

  Eduardo was stubborn, worse than that; he’s been spoiled for far too long. He was used to getting his own way and his way wasn’t arriving fast enough. Her condescension was a direct hit to his behavior. The Bitch just turned him into an Ass. “Fuckin’ Amber,” Eduardo shouted back at her, “It’s not that simple!”

  Eduardo grabbed his shirt and buttoned up crossly. Amber continued to cry as she watched him fully getting dressed now. A wave of disappointment flushed through her, her last attempt at begging didn’t work and her scorn served no purpose. If those two radical demands wouldn’t work, then nothing would. Amber then realized that maybe her mother was right, that all these years all he ever wanted or needed from her was sex. He lied to her and misrepresented himself adequately; they never really had any kind of future, she was already his mistress. Telling her that he ‘loved her’ was just a device to get her to continue the affair. What a fool she was, falling for his continual charm! How could she have been this naïve? Wake-the-fuck-up, dammit! She’s been caring for him for so long she continued to believe everything that he said, she was even prepared to throw her entire marriage away for him! And Eduardo wouldn’t even do the same? His marriage was in name only; he’s never even cared for his wife! Good Lord, what the hell was she doing? “Move heaven and earth,” her mother said, Eduardo would move heaven and earth to be with her—was he doing that now?

  Amber felt used, discarded, ashamed and unwanted. Her Father Figure didn’t want her anymore. She was being left alone again, waiting for her father by the window. Dressed in her special outfit, shiny shoes and all, waiting for Sam Fitzgerald to come and pick her up. Waiting and expecting her Daddy to show, but never did. Her Daddy didn’t want her…never wanted a daughter…Eduardo doesn’t want her…never wanted her to begin with. Her Father Figure was rejecting her and Amber was frantic. Her commitment to him suddenly became offensive and her passion for him panicked her and she wanted to escape! Amber was beside herself; her body shook as she tried to get dressed. If she couldn’t leave Victor, and Eduardo wasn’t going to leave Leticia, then no one would win.

  The alarm clock rang.

  It was that ridiculous device that she absolutely hated.

  It told her it was time.

  Time to break apart; time to go back to work.

  Go home.

  Amber reached over for the alarm clock then chucked it clear across the room. The alarm clock continued to buzz until it silenced against the wall. Amber was hysterically incensed now, so impassioned and knew that there was one thing left that her lover hated most of all…mentioning sex with another man. “It’s over Eduardo,” Amber callously uttered. “I’m going home to make love to my husband. Prove to him that I’m still his...I’m gonna stick my tongue down his throat...offer my naked breasts to his mouth in the shower...and, fuck him all night long.”

  Eduardo’s throat closed up, Amber couldn’t have said anything more malicious to him than that. She knew full well that mentioning sex with his brother injured his very soul. Eduardo felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. “Why you little bitch—” Eduardo proclaimed haughtily, desperately yanking her body back into his. “You know you belong to me.”

  Amber pushed him away. “No I don’t! I never did! This is over—”

  Eduardo grabbed her back, “No, it’s not!”

  “This is one time you’re not getting what you want!” Amber screeched, slapping him across his face.

  The burning sting only made him angrier. Eduardo bound his muscular arms around her body; Amber tried to get out of his wrap, yanked at his arms, scratched at his collar until she felt his gold chain being yanked away from his neck. She watched it as it gradually slid down his pant legs then onto the rug.
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  When it’s bad, it’s dreadful, she was riled up, distraught, drowning and unhappy…something clapped inside her head; she would be the one to break his style, teach him a lesson he would never forget.

  “...Are you going to calm down now?” He asked exasperated, arms still around her body in a tight grasp. He wasn’t going to let her take off yet, not until he gained his way.

  Amber was breathing heavily, she wanted to compose herself, she did, but relaxing would only mean to continue the misery. “Please leave her,” she asked one last time.

  He was worn out with the subject and closed his eyes in disappointment.

  His silence only fed her decision. She could either go on through life the way she was living, or she could end it, no longer feel the pain.

  With all her might she pulled away from him and pushed his unreceptive body into the wall. Amber ran out of the doorway and hiked down the narrow hallway—ignoring his calls for her return from the staircase above.

  * * * * *

  Call it intuition. A mother’s inner voice…but Sheila knew somehow, her child was hurting. Sheila got sick to her stomach; her body became nervous, anxious. She called Amber’s cell phone, knew she would answer, but didn’t. Called her daughter at work, they said that she hadn’t come back from lunch yet. Lunch? It was nearly four o’clock in the afternoon! Thought about her being with Eduardo, he would know. But how would she get a hold of him? Where was Amber? Oh God, she couldn’t get passed that distressing feeling!

  Sheila had to think quickly. Amber told her about their affair. Sheila dispensed her opinions about Eduardo how she thought he was taking advantage of her but knew Amber wouldn’t listen. Her daughter was fragile at times, always wanted to be desired, wanted and loved. Sheila did the best she could; spoiling Amber with affection but Amber always craved extra attention when she was a little girl. Sheila tried to do her best, but Amber was oftentimes short changed. Trying to accommodate her new husband and showering her daughter with attention was oftentimes daunting. Someone was always being left behind. If it wasn’t her new husband, then it was Amber and Molly, and when she felt the girls were content, her husband was not. It was an endless tug of war between her children and maintaining a relationship, and she loved her girls, and oftentimes not so much her husband and it was easier to let the man go.