by Chris Taylor
She’d done the best she could. Did all she knew how to do. It wasn’t about making it up to him, it was about moving forward in a new direction. With Andy at her side.
Her arms tightened around him. Soothing him with mindless murmurs of comfort, she pressed kisses against his hair and prayed the guilt that threatened to overwhelm her wouldn’t destroy them.
The ringing of a cell phone startled her. The sound was so foreign, it took her awhile to realize it came from inside her handbag where it lay on the front passenger seat of the car. Andy was the only one who knew the number.
Her heart leaped in excitement and her lips tugged upward in a wry smile. Yep, she was a goner, for sure. Her young son was crying his heart out in her arms and yet she still couldn’t help the spike in her pulse at the thought of speaking to Andy again.
Knowing she couldn’t do anything about answering the call, she listened to it ring out before it stopped, diverted to her voicemail. She found herself hoping he would leave a message and couldn’t help the relief that surged through her when the phone beeped to indicate one had been received.
He’d helped set up her voice mailbox the night he’d given it to her and he’d also issued some brief instructions on how to use it. As soon as she had Jack settled, she’d listen to his message and try not to miss him too much.
Jack’s sobs had quieted to the occasional sniffle. She lifted his chin until his eyes met hers. “I love you so much, Jack Savage. I’m not sure what you heard about your dad, but the truth is, I loved him then too. Things didn’t work out between us, but you know what? It didn’t matter because I had you. My beautiful gift from God. My son who I love with all my heart.”
She brushed a tousled lock of hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to hear those hurtful things and I wish you’d told me about them so I could have done something. But none of that changes the way I feel about you, okay?”
He nodded and then hiccupped softly. “I love you too, Mom.”
She gave him another fierce hug before releasing him. “Let’s get your things inside and maybe we can go down to the corner store and get an ice cream. What do you say?”
Giving her a wobbly smile, he nodded at her. “All right.”
Cally wriggled to the edge of the seat and climbed out of the car. Reaching in through the open window, she pulled out her handbag and slung it over her shoulder. She helped Jack with his overnight bag and together they walked up the back stairs and unlocked the door.
Thoughts of Harvey Donaldson and the weekend’s events filtered through her mind. Andy was right. She needed to meet with Stewart and get things sorted with him once and for all. She needed closure on that part of her life before she began the next—with Andy. But most of all, Jack needed to meet his father. She realized that so clearly now.
Pushing open the back door, she let Jack walk in ahead of her, watching as he deposited his bag on the kitchen floor before walking down the hall to his room. She’d give him some time alone to gather himself together before letting him know she was going to contact Stewart. She’d call Donaldson’s office and leave a message.
She walked into the living room and reached for the telephone before she could change her mind.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Come on, Jack! You’re going to be late for school.”
Cally walked back into the kitchen. Popping some bread into the toaster, she checked the clock on the wall again. It was Tuesday morning and the last of Andy’s latest run of nightshifts. She didn’t expect him home before she had to leave for Jack’s school drop-off, but she was hoping they could spend some time together after she got back. Even if it was a couple of minutes while he ate breakfast or before he went to bed to get a few hours’ sleep.
She’d barely seen him since Sunday. They’d talked briefly on Monday afternoon, before both of them left for work at the station and she’d told him how well Jack had taken the news.
When Jack realized he was home, he almost barreled Andy over in his enthusiasm to greet him.
“Whoa, buddy! Take it easy!” Andy laughed, giving him a hearty hug.
“Andy, Mom told me you’re getting married and you’re going to be my dad. Is that right?” Hope and doubt warred on his young face. Andy hugged him close again and Cally’s heart nearly burst with love.
“That’s right, buddy. If you want me to.”
Jack pulled back and looked up at him, his face alight with happiness. “Of course it’s all right! It’s the best news ever!”
Andy met her gaze above his head. Tears pricked her eyes and she offered him a shaky smile, her throat too choked to speak.
Andy hugged Jack to him tightly once again. “You and me both, little buddy,” he whispered.
Afterwards, he’d taken her in his arms and kissed her tenderly, reaching out to lovingly tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Cally,” he breathed. “I thank God every day that I found you.”
She kissed him back and her heart swelled with love. “I don’t care who you are or how much money you have. You make my life complete.”
With Jack only feet away watching TV in the living room, they hadn’t been able to do more than kiss, despite their eagerness. Knowing Andy would be at work again that night had made it even harder for them to disengage and step away.
“One more night,” Andy had groaned as he put some distance between them. “One more night before I can take you to bed and pleasure you until you beg me to stop.” He grinned at her rakishly. “I don’t know how you’re going to last.”
She’d grinned back. “You’re right. Now that I know what it’s like, I yearn for you every minute of every day. Knowing you’re so close, yet so far away, is torture.”
He’d smiled. “All good things come to those who wait.”
“Not always,” she said, remembering the phone sex and wondering if he’d phone her after Jack was in bed. But he’d been busy with calls.
Now it was Tuesday morning and she could hardly keep herself still as she thought of him. She’d gone to the Westfield Mall at Chatswood during her lunch break the day before and had splurged on a beautiful, white chiffon nightdress in honor of their reunion.
The long, sheer nightgown left little to the imagination and she had blushed hotly when she tried it on in the store’s dressing room. Satin spaghetti straps kissed her shoulders, revealing her generous cleavage with its plunging neckline.
The fine chiffon was gathered in soft pleats beneath her breasts and then fell in waves of luxury around her legs. She could still remember the seductive feel of the fabric as it swirled around her, touching her skin like a lover’s feather-light caress.
In less than an hour, she’d slip it on again and wait for Andy so he could take it off. Glancing at the clock for the third time, she frowned and called out to Jack again.
“Okay, Mom. I’m coming.” A disheveled, blond head appeared in the doorway. He took his place at the table, still tucking in his school shirt.
“What have you been doing down there? We’ve got less than fifteen minutes to get out the door.”
Jack shrugged and began spooning Weet-Bix into his mouth. “I dunno. I must have slept in.”
She sighed, knowing that any other day, Jack running late wouldn’t be quite the drama she was making it out to be. It was just that she was so eager to get home again and get ready for Andy…
“I have to work on a school project, so I’m going to have to stay back after school today.”
Cally blinked and focused on what he was saying. “Sorry, darling? What did you say?”
“I said I’m working on a school project with Jimmy this afternoon. We’re going to stay back after school and try and finish it. Jimmy said his mom can pick me up and bring me home, if you like?”
She frowned. “How come you haven’t said anything about this project until now?”
“I dunno. I guess I only just remembered. It’s no big deal, we’ve been working on it since last
week. It’s supposed to be finished by Friday.”
“What’s it about?”
“It’s a science project. We’re building an electronic device that can take music, a phone, a computer and Foxtel all in the one gadget. It’s really cool, Mom. I designed it and Jimmy’s doing most of the construction.”
“Wow, it sounds very exciting. I wish you’d told me about it earlier.”
Jack shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. You’ve kind of been busy with work and stuff and then with Andy moving in—I forgot all about it until I got to school yesterday.”
“Well, I guess it’s okay if Mrs Baker is happy to collect you both. I’ll give her a call later and let her know it’s all right with me. Now,” she said as she removed the empty bowl of Weet-Bix and sat two pieces of toast with Vegemite on a plate in front of him, “eat up!”
* * *
Cally turned off the Pacific Highway and into her driveway and glanced impatiently at her watch. She barely noticed the warm morning sunlight that filtered through the heavy stand of trees. The traffic had been heavier than usual and it was nearly nine-thirty. She had expected Andy’s car to be there, but the driveway was empty. She was torn between feeling disappointed that he wasn’t yet home and pleased that she still had time to get ready for him.
Jumping out of the car, she riffled through her handbag, looking for her cell phone to check for any messages. With the noise of the busy, peak-hour traffic, it was possible she hadn’t heard it ring. She came up empty-handed and groaned when she remembered she’d left it on the battery charger on the kitchen counter. In her rush to get out the door, she’d forgotten it.
Hurrying up the back steps, she let herself inside. She dropped her handbag on the table and walked into the living room. Her gaze was immediately drawn to the answering machine. The screen was blinking to show a new message. Hurrying over, she pressed the buttons and listened to Andy’s voice.
“You won’t believe it, sweetheart, but I’m going to be late. We have a situation here and the boss won’t let me leave until he knows he’s got it covered. I’m really sorry. I was so looking forward to getting naked with you. I’ll be home soon, I promise.”
Cally replayed the message three times and then sighed. So much for the rush this morning. When she pulled up outside Jack’s school, she’d practically pushed her son out of the car, such was her haste to get back. Now she didn’t know what time Andy would be home. She hoped they’d still have time alone in the afternoon, before school got out, to become reacquainted.
With that thought in mind, she picked up the electric jug and filled it with water. She might as well have a cup of coffee. She had more than enough time on her hands now.
A knock sounded at the front door. She frowned. Being so far off the main road, she didn’t usually get unannounced visitors. Most people didn’t even realize there was a cottage buried in the garden, behind the main house.
Walking into the living room, she went to the front door and opened it. Her heart stood still. A second later, she gasped in shock.
* * *
“Dad!”
The man who stared at her through the gauzed security screen had aged far beyond his years. The thick black hair that she remembered from her childhood was now snowy white and deep grooves scored his face. He looked travel worn and weary. She would have been hard pressed to recognize him if it hadn’t been for his trademark bright blue eyes: her eyes.
“Hello, Cally.” His voice hadn’t changed. She would have known it anywhere. Still rough and gravelly, it was as familiar to her as her own and brought with it a rush of unwanted memories.
“W-what are you doing here?” She clamped her teeth together, trying to control her pulse that began to race the minute she recognized him. She hadn’t spoken to him in more than ten years, unless she counted the terse phone call telling her she wasn’t welcome at her mother’s funeral. She hadn’t seen him since he kicked her out. And yet, here he was. Her father. As large as life, on the other side of her screen door.
“Are you going to let me in?” It was more of a demand than a request—like he was still in school-principal mode, even though he surely had retired by now.
Panic welled up inside her, but she refused to give it heed. She was a grown woman. No longer a young and frightened girl. She knew how to take care of herself.
“Why are you here?” she asked again, relieved to hear her voice remained steady.
He gave a nonchalant shrug that looked a little forced, and glanced away. “I’m here to meet my grandson and… I wanted to say sorry.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “Don’t you think it’s a bit late for that? How did you find me?”
He cleared his throat and his reply was as brusque as she was used to. “If you’ll just open the door, Cally, I’ll explain everything. Harvey Donaldson told me—”
“Harvey Donaldson?” Her mind reeled. “You mean to tell me it was you who hired him?”
“Of course. Who did you think it was?”
There was a roaring in her ears. She shook her head dazedly, unable to believe she’d gotten it so wrong. She’d been convinced it was Stewart. All along, it had been her father. Then a realization hit her and a pressing weight lifted from her chest: It wasn’t Stewart. He didn’t know about Jack.
“Cally, please, let me in. I’d like to talk to you.” His voice lowered. “It’s time, don’t you think?”
All at once, the anger drained out of her. It was time: time to put Stewart Brady behind her; time to make amends with her father, the only parent she had left; time to start a new life with Andy and Jack. Turning the key in the security lock, she opened the door and let him inside.
“You’ve cut your hair. It suits you, but I always liked it long.”
Cally reflexively touched her short, sleek bob and remembered the times when she’d sat at her father’s feet. He’d twirl her braids around his fingers. That seemed a lifetime ago. She shook her head to clear it of the memories. “Would you like a cup of coffee? I’ve just boiled the jug.”
He nodded and shrugged off his gray suit jacket and took a seat at the kitchen table, the same one recently vacated by Jack.
“How do you take it?” Sadness seeped into her that she no longer knew even that much about the man she called her father.
“White with one, thanks.” He looked around the kitchen. “You have a cozy, little place here.”
“Thanks, as soon as I saw it, I fell in love with it. It reminded me of Aunt Mary’s house in Armidale.”
Her father refrained from commenting and she finished making the coffee in silence. Setting a cup in front of him, she went around to the other side of the table and pulled out a chair.
“Why are you here, Dad? Why now, after all these years? If you’re here to try and relieve your guilty conscience, well, I’m afraid you’ve come to the wrong place.”
Unable to sit still, she stood and paced across the kitchen. Memories of the way he’d thrown her out crashed into her. “Apart from tossing me aside like so much unwanted trash when I needed you most, you didn’t even have the decency to let me come to my mother’s funeral.”
She spun on her heel and shot him a withering look. “You turn up on my doorstep with an apology on your lips, as if you expect me to forgive and forget the pain you caused me, just like that.” She snapped her fingers sharply to emphasize her point, her breath coming fast.
“I’m not expecting that, Cally.” It was his principal’s voice, cool, calm and controlled, but his eyes were shadowed with pain. “All the things you’ve said are true and I’ve lived to regret my actions and my words.” His gaze intensified. “It wasn’t your mother’s fault. I want you to know that. The fault was solely mine. There were many times when she asked me to let you come home, but I refused to listen. Then she died so suddenly. They said it was a heart attack. I found her lying on the kitchen floor one afternoon when I came home from school.”
His voice broke and Cally was starkly reminded of how muc
h he’d lost, too. Her parents had always had a close and loving relationship. It couldn’t have been easy on her father to lose his beloved wife way before her time.
He’d loved Cally once like that, too: totally, irrevocably, unconditionally. It was why his reaction to her pregnancy had been so utterly shocking. It had never occurred to her before she became pregnant that he could ever react that way. It wasn’t as if a teenage pregnancy was so far beyond what was acceptable in society that it warranted never speaking to her again. At least, that’s the way she’d seen it.
She looked at him sadly, determined not to feel guilty. “Because of you, my son doesn’t know his grandfather and he was never given the chance to know his grandmother. Aunt Mary, the only person kind enough to love both of us unreservedly and the only relative Jack ever knew, is also dead. Jack’s the one who’s missed out.”
She shook her head. “Please don’t tell me how sorry you are. If it weren’t for you, none of this would have ever happened!”
To her horror, hot tears welled up in her eyes. She swiped at them furiously. “I could have raised Jack with your love and support—who knows, maybe even Stewart would have been a part of his life. But you made sure that was never going to happen. Once it was all around town that even my father couldn’t bear the sight of me, a young man like Stewart was never going to hang around.”
“Stewart Brady didn’t deserve you,” her father scoffed. “You might have thought I was happy to have you going out with him, but the truth is, I felt sick with worry every time you went out the door. It was clear he was only looking for someone to dally with during his college break. I was hoping you’d forget about him when he left. I hadn’t counted on you sleeping with him and getting pregnant.”
“Dad, you say it like it was the worst thing that could have happened to me! I didn’t do anything illegal. Life didn’t turn out quite as I planned. So what? Having a baby wasn’t the end of the world.”
