by Chris Taylor
His face collapsed with grief. “You were sixteen! You had your whole life ahead of you!” He sighed heavily and made an effort to calm down. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter.
“You were my little girl. I had such big dreams for you. You were smart and sassy and beautiful. You had the world at your feet. And then you got pregnant.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up his hand. “Cally, just hear me out.” His tone brooked no argument and all of a sudden, she felt like a teenager again. As he picked up his coffee cup and took a sip, she threw herself back into her chair and crossed her arms defensively, tamping down her irritation.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of you ending up as a single mother, working at the local supermarket. After all my dreams for you… That was all I could think of that night you came to me and told me you were having a baby.”
He lifted his arms in defeat and let them fall. “I’m not excusing my behavior, but you have to understand. I’d seen it all before. I’d been a high school principal for many years, remember? There’d been other girls, bright girls with promising futures, who’d thrown it all away over a boy and an unplanned pregnancy. I didn’t want that happening to you. I couldn’t bear the thought. Not to my little girl. Not to my Cally.”
She watched him and tried to remain unmoved. He still hadn’t admitted he was wrong. He still hadn’t asked for her forgiveness.
As if reading her thoughts, he continued. “I behaved so badly, then and in the years that followed. If I could take back those careless words, I would. I was in shock, Cally. It was the last thing I expected to hear you say. As soon as you walked out of my study, I wanted to call you back. But I didn’t. I was angry—devastated even. All I’d planned for you, all my dreams, the future I had mapped out—it crashed down around my ears.”
He gave her a sad smile. “I kept hoping you’d phone and ask if you could come back. I was going to let you, of course, after you’d agreed to an abortion.”
Her gasp of outrage went unnoticed. He didn’t appear to notice. “But you didn’t. You didn’t call and you kept the baby. The longer things went on like that, the more impossible it became to change it.”
He took another sip of coffee. “Your mother would come to me every once in a while and beg me to call you. ‘Just pick up the phone and talk to her,’ she’d say. ‘We have a grandson we’ve never met,’ she’d remind me.”
Shaking his head, he placed the cup back on the table. “I wanted to, I really did. But I was concerned by then that you wouldn’t want to come home; that even if I asked you back, you wouldn’t want to come. I couldn’t bear the thought of you rejecting me. It was selfish beyond belief, but it was how I was. I’m not proud of it and I’ve lived to regret it every day since.”
Cally stared at him in shock and disbelief at the enormity of his revelation. She could only wonder how things might have been different if he hadn’t let pride get in his way. Her shoulders slumped and all at once, she felt weary beyond belief.
“I wasn’t throwing away my life, Dad, as you so eloquently put it. I was going to have a baby. I had plans, big plans, even with the baby. You could have been a part of them, but you didn’t ask! You didn’t even ask, not once, what those plans were.”
Unable to sit still, she pushed away from the table and began pacing again. “With Aunt Mary’s love and support, I went back and finished high school and graduated from university with a teaching degree. Huh! Fancy that!” She laughed without humor. “I’m a teacher, Dad, just like you.”
His gaze dropped to the table. “I never dreamed you’d do so well,” he admitted. “I guess that’s where I made my mistake. I underestimated you, and I shouldn’t have. There’s nothing else I can say. I loved you too much.”
Her face hardened. “That wasn’t love, Dad. That was control and it bordered on the obsessive. If you’d really loved me, you would never have been able to treat me the way you did. And as for Stewart,” she shrugged, “we’ll never know, will we? He was young too, and scared and in shock—all the things I was. We never gave ourselves a chance. Who knows what might have happened had we been given the love and support from our families when we needed it most?”
“I wouldn’t waste time worrying about Brady. He moved on pretty quickly, let me assure you.”
Even though she told herself she didn’t care, the words tumbled out of her mouth. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly that. It was only a couple of months after he went back to college that we heard he’d gotten another girl pregnant. Tiffany something or other. They met at a frat house party. I heard he actually married her a few months after the baby was born.”
Cally reeled back in shock. All the nights she’d cried herself to sleep in Aunt Mary’s spare room, praying that Stewart would defy his parents and come and see her, come and declare his love for her, cry over the fact she’d had an abortion and then be elated when he realized she hadn’t. And now she discovered he’d already moved on. Long before his son was even born, he’d moved on and fathered another child.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. She couldn’t believe how many tears she’d wasted on him. She forced a grim smile, unwilling to let her father see how much his news upset her.
“Well, good for him,” she murmured.
“Not really. His wife and child were killed in a car accident about six months ago. He hasn’t been quite right ever since. In fact, he’s been brought up on serious assault charges. He got into a fight at a gym downtown. Smashed someone over the head with a barbell. The bloke nearly died. The trial started over a month ago, but it was adjourned. Everyone knows he’s guilty. Despite his daddy’s influence, the talk around town is that he’ll do substantial jail time.”
Her mouth fell open. A kaleidoscope of memories and images spun crazily through her head. “W-when did you last see him?”
“About a week ago, outside the courthouse. It was just before I got the call from Donaldson to say you wanted to see me.”
“I wanted to see Stewart! I thought it was Stewart who’d gone to Harvey Donaldson. I had no idea it was you!”
Hurt flooded her father’s face. Gradually, it was replaced with curiosity. “Are you trying to tell me, after all this time, you’re still holding a candle for Brady?”
“No!” She grabbed at her hair in frustration. Taking a deep breath, she fought to regain some control. Deciding to leave Andy out of it, she said, “Jack has been asking questions about his father. I thought it was time he met him.”
Her father choked on humorless laughter. “Let me get this straight. You never wanted to talk to me at all. It was that no-hoper loser, Stewart Brady, the man who got you pregnant and dumped you and within a couple of months was screwing someone else—it was this prime example of manhood you wanted to see again?”
His voice caught on his distress. Cally couldn’t help the surge of guilt that went through her at the hurt that had returned to his eyes. She sighed and the fight went out of her. It was possible, over time, she’d come to forgive him and she’d reach out to him for both her sake and her son’s, but right at that moment, she couldn’t take any more. She’d had enough.
“Think what you will, Dad, but next time you’re talking to Stewart, give him my regards. No matter what he may have done to me, no one deserves to lose their family like that.”
Her father shook his head in disbelief. “After all these years, I wouldn’t have believed it. You still have a soft spot for him.”
“I wouldn’t call it a soft spot. It’s called kindness and compassion—something you forgot about a long time ago.” Heading toward the front door, she opened it and looked back at him, her intentions clear. “I think it’s time you left.”
“B-but what about us? What about Jack? I thought—”
“Not this time, Dad. I need time to come to terms with what you’ve told me. I need time to adjust. For ten years, I’ve lived with the knowledge that you didn’t love me enough to be there for me when I needed
you most.”
She shrugged. “I have my beautiful son and I have a new man in my life. A man who loves me for who I am, warts and all. One day, you might get to meet your grandson. We’ll have to wait and see. Right now, I’d like you to leave.”
“But—”
“Please, Dad. I want you to go.”
“But I love you, Cally. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should never have kicked you out. I should have stood by you and helped you, like any decent father would have. It’s all my fault. I should have listened to your mother. She begged me to talk to you. She begged me to ask you to come home.” Tears streamed down his wrinkled cheeks and Cally bit her lip against the emotion that threatened to undo her.
She wanted so badly to believe him, to go to him and receive comfort, like she had so many years ago, but at that moment, she simply didn’t have the strength.
She stood by the door in silence and tried to suppress the trembling in her limbs. With a last, tortured look in her direction, her father made his way out through the doorway.
She locked the solid wooden door behind him. Moments later, she slid down the wall and crumpled on the floor. With a cry of anguish, she let the hot flood of pain and disillusionment fall.
* * *
Cally heard the sound of a key turning in the lock and straightened. She didn’t know how long she’d been on the floor, but a quick glance through the side window showed Andy’s shiny silver Audi parked behind her faithful old Toyota in the driveway.
Swiping at the tears on her face, she hoped she didn’t look as big a mess as she felt. Her eyes felt puffy and swollen and her nose dripped. So much for the two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar nightdress she’d bought to impress him.
Moving unsteadily into the kitchen, she pulled a handful of tissues out of the box on the shelf near the window and blew her nose vigorously. The back door opened and Andy walked in looking tired but as gorgeous as ever.
His eyes zoomed in on her and his face filled with concern. “Cally! What the hell happened? Are you okay?” He ran to her and took hold of both her arms.
Fresh salty tears welled up in her eyes. She looked up at him, trying to get the words out. “I-it was m-my father.” Her words caught on hiccups and half sobs.
He looked confused. “What are you talking about? Your father?”
“M-my father. H-Harvey Don-Donaldson. It was my f-father who hired him.” She wanted Andy to understand.
His gaze moved over her, searching her face. “It was your father who contacted the investigator? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
She could only nod, relieved that he finally understood. He was still holding her at arm’s length, his eyes intent on her face. “How did you find out?”
She drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “H-he came here.”
His eyes widened in shock. “Your father was here? In your house?”
She nodded.
“You contacted Donaldson’s office, right?”
Cally nodded again, taking comfort from the warmth and strength of his broad chest. Winding her arms about his waist, she breathed deeply of his unique scent and sighed. After a few moments, she spoke again.
“I called his office on Sunday afternoon, after you left for work. I thought about what you said about meeting up with Stewart—and I knew it was something I had to do—for my sake and for Jack’s.” Her voice was soft and muffled against the cotton of his shirt.
“So I telephoned Donaldson and left a message. I told him to get his client to contact me.” She looked up at him. “Of course, I thought it was Stewart. I never imagined it was my father.”
Andy stroked her back, while his other arm tightened around her. “I take it the meeting didn’t go too well?” he murmured against her hair.
She sniffed and leaned away so she could swipe at the tears in her eyes with the back of her hand. “You could say that.” She took a shaky breath. “He came here to apologize and he did, eventually. But it’s going to take time for me to forgive him. And I’m never going to feel the same way I did about him again.”
She dragged in another breath. “As a parent, I just can’t understand it. There’s nothing, nothing Jack could do that would make me disown him.” Her voice hitched and Andy pulled her close, murmuring words of comfort and reassurance against her hair.
“I’m sorry, Cally. Fathers should be forbidden to treat their children so callously. It should be in the book of rules all fathers should be issued when they come to collect their children from the hospital.”
She lifted her head and smiled shakily back at him, grateful for his attempt to lighten the moment. For all the heartache she’d experienced in her childhood, it could never compare to what Andy had gone through. And yet, here he was, comforting her. She’d never loved him more.
They held each other in silence, each buried in their own thoughts. After a while, she pulled slightly away. “You’re a beautiful man, Andy Warwick, inside and out. I’m so glad I found you.”
His eyes darkened with emotion. A moment later, his lips found hers. Heat exploded inside her. She kissed him with barely checked passion, pressing herself even closer against him. He moaned against her mouth. His hardness pressed into the softness of her belly.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he rasped. His lips moved lower, biting gently along her neck before his tongue swirled in and around her sensitive earlobe.
Cally twined her arms around his neck and drew his head down.
His hands reached for her blouse and he fumbled with the buttons.
Pulling away, she stood panting before him and tried to regain her breath. Andy stared at her dazedly.
“Cally—”
“Shh. I have a surprise for you.” Turning away, she stumbled down the hall and into her bedroom. The room was filled with bright mid-morning light. The scent of flowers from the garden wafted through the open window and hung expectantly on the warm air.
The sheer nightdress lay across her bed where she’d set it out earlier. Quickly undoing the rest of her buttons, she tossed her blouse onto the carved wooden rocking chair which sat in the corner of the room. Her bra, shorts and panties followed in quick succession and then she eased the slinky, silky fabric over her head.
Shimmying into the nightdress, she smoothed it over her hips and adjusted the low neckline until her breasts were shown to their best advantage. The smooth, golden skin of her décolletage was in stark contrast to the whiteness of the nightdress and only served to enhance its appeal.
With a final quick glance in the mirror, she summoned a smile. Andy was waiting for her. He loved her. He wanted her. Life didn’t get any better.
* * *
It was a long while afterwards that Andy asked about Brady. Cally lay relaxed and sated beside him after a thoroughly enjoyable session of lovemaking. His index finger drew lazy circles on her naked thigh, the nightgown that had him rock-hard the instant he’d seen her in it had been long since discarded.
The air conditioner hummed quietly in the background, cooling the room from the oppressive summer heat that beat down relentlessly outside the window. He drew in a deep breath, knowing that the subject had to be broached.
“What are you going to do about Brady?”
She turned in his arms and looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you told me you’d already come to the decision you needed to see him and, you know, sort things out. That’s why you called Donaldson again, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, and my father’s made me realize how much I need to close the door on that chapter of my life. Stewart might be Jack’s father, but all he did was donate the genetic material necessary to give my son life. He never wanted Jack. He did all he could to make sure I got rid of him. If I had told him the truth, I’m sure he would have badgered me until I’d given in to his demands. I don’t need to see him again to give me closure or whatever it is psychiatrists talk about. It’s over. It’s been over for a long time. I know that now.”
Reaching out, she cupped his cheek with her hand. “My father told me a few things about Stewart I didn’t know.”
He raised his eyebrows and she continued. “Apparently, he was with another girl not long after we broke up and he got her pregnant, too. Dad said they got married after the baby was born.”
“Oh, sweetheart!” He pulled her back into his arms and held her close. “He sounds like a right selfish bastard. Be thankful you’re not saddled with him.”
She smiled softly. “You’re right.” Reaching up, she tugged his head down to hers and pressed her lips against his. She ended the kiss and pulled away gently. “Dad told me something else about Stewart. His wife and child were killed six months ago. Apparently he’s had trouble coming to terms with it.”
Andy stared at her. “So, he’s single again.” He fought to keep his voice even. “How does that make you feel?”
She sighed and settled against him. “I feel for his loss, as I would for anyone who’s experienced something like that. But it doesn’t change the way I feel about him, or the way I feel about you.”
Her hand caressed Andy’s bare chest with feather-light strokes. “Stewart lost his place in my heart many years ago.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “For a long time, I didn’t think anyone would fill the void he’d left. But as the years went by, I found a sort of peace in being independent and raising my son alone. When I met you… Well for the first time in more than ten years, my heart started really smiling again.” She looked up at him, her eyes shining with emotion. “You did that to me, Andy. You made my heart smile.”
She kissed him again, softly, lovingly and he hugged her hard against him, never wanting to let her go.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Cally glanced at her watch. The week was speeding by. It was already Thursday and was now nearly two. She’d spent most of the day cleaning the cottage and doing laundry. The sound of sheets snapping in the wind on the line outside the kitchen window reminded her they needed to be brought in. Although Andy had never asked her to, she’d started throwing his dirty laundry in with theirs and had made up his bed with fresh sheets.
