Uncanny Kingdom: An Eleven Book Urban Fantasy Collection (Uncanny Kingdom Omnibus 1)

by David Bussell

  ‘David, I didn’t tell you a thing about that. About his summons, about going, about any of it.’

  Was this part of his new, growing power? Somehow he was reading my thoughts without even knowing he was doing it. That was bad, but things were about to get a whole lot worse.

  ‘Oi, why don’t you actually do something about him?’

  I turned to see a group of men I vaguely recognised glaring our way.

  ‘What did you say?’ I replied.

  ‘You’re the London Coven. It’s your job, Familiar!’

  Grunts of agreement from around the pub. I could read the signals. They were scared and readying themselves to do something stupid. Waiting for the bravest of them to work up the courage to attack, then piling on after him.

  ‘Hey,’ said David. ‘What’s going on? What did I do?’

  ‘It’s okay, David,’ I said. ‘They’re just drunk. Isn’t that right, lads?’

  They weren’t playing ball though. ‘If you won’t do anything, maybe it’s time someone else did!’

  Chairs scraped back as one by one they began to stand.

  ‘Oi,’ said Lenny, ‘everyone just calm down!’

  But there was no calming this now, and no way of getting David out and through the door without getting past a good ten people brimming with murderous intent.

  ‘You really want to do this?’ I asked.

  ‘Do what?’ said David. ‘What are they doing? What is happening here?’

  The men nodded. ‘What choice do we have?’

  ‘Right,’ I replied. ‘Come on then.’

  And that’s when it all kicked off.

  14

  For a while I assumed I was dead.

  There had been a fight. All of the drinkers in The Beehive dogpiling onto us, throwing fists and kicks and more besides. Normally I would have swept them aside without breaking a sweat, but The Beehive has an energy field around it, and our aggressors were determined to keep us inside of it.

  So they could kill David.

  The energy field is a type of protective bubble that affects the magical abilities of any Uncanny that steps inside it. It doesn’t take them away completely, it just dampens things, because drunk people and magical powers are a recipe for death and mass destruction. The field leaves you with enough power to make any fight within its walls extra interesting though. Extra bits of force behind punches, energy enough to unleash the magical equivalent of a supernatural fist to the nose.

  All this is to say that we were taking on about twelve scared, angry people with two fists each and a little bit of magic to give their punches extra meat. David did his best to help out. With the bubble, things were a little more on the equal side, so he dove in and threw his fair share of punches. Still, we were more than a little outnumbered.

  This had gone on for a few minutes when I found myself pushing my aching body up off the floor for the fourth time, spitting blood onto the ancient, stained carpet, ready to do some damage of my own.

  That’s when I felt it.

  Something was building. It made my skin prickle, my head itch. I began to hear a faint whine, like an engine building speed.

  It was David.

  Four of them had backed him into a corner, but were now heading in reverse.

  ‘His eyes!’

  ‘Stop him!’

  ‘Get out, we’ve got to—’

  A chaos of noise, of voices, of furniture crashing aside as a vortex began to whirl around David, his eyes turning white as a pure flame began to seep from them. I’d seen this before. Seen it a couple of times in fact, when the magic being sucked into David like a sponge overtook him and he became… something else.

  ‘David,’ I said, shielding my eyes, ‘David, can you hear me? You’ve got to stop! You’ve got to stop or you’re going to kill us all!’

  I didn’t know if he could hear me, he didn’t turn to look at me, he just threw his head back, his mouth wide, screaming, and then—

  …

  …

  ...

  —I remembered a blinding light, a release of energy, a feeling as though the flesh was being melted from my bones—

  —and then nothing.

  …

  …

  ...

  Well, not quite nothing.

  If you’re aware of the nothing then how can there be nothing? At the very least there was my consciousness, but I couldn’t see myself, or anything else, and I couldn’t move. It was like I’d forgotten how I did that. How I made my limbs move. How I blinked. How I breathed. Maybe I had nothing to move and nothing to breathe with.

  No limbs, no mouth, no ligaments or lungs. Maybe this was what death actually was. Just an awareness, fixed in nothing.

  A dislocated consciousness.

  I stayed there for a while. It was difficult to know how long, because time didn’t exist. Maybe it was seconds, or maybe it was decades.

  Then I felt something pull on the nothing that was me.

  Something was gaining purchase on me, it felt like it was dragging me backwards. And if something could touch me, could move me, could pull me backwards, that meant I couldn’t just be a consciousness, I had to have a physical element.

  Just as that thought entered my mind I blinked. I had eyelids. I had eyes for them to cover. Piece by piece I discovered my physical self again as I hurtled back and back, wind screaming in my ears, mixed with an indecipherable babble of layer upon layer of voices creating one painful roar.

  And then it was over.

  I lay still for a while, body trembling, the fresh wounds I’d received during the bar fight beginning to throb now I’d returned to reality.

  But where was I? I wasn’t in The Beehive, that was for sure. I sat up and looked around. I was home. I was in the coven.

  And I wasn’t alone.

  I stood, quietly, padding towards the door to the main coven room. Someone was talking inside. No, not someone, three someones.

  Three someones I recognised.

  I pushed open the door to reveal my witches. My three masters and creators, Kala, Trin, and Feal.

  ‘This is a trick,’ I said, as I stepped into the room and the three of them turned to look. ‘This is just a trick.’

  I pictured the last time something like this had happened; that had been down to Mr. Trick. A trap. A magical pretence meant to crush me. A shiver ran down my spine as I looked around, fearful that the creature I’d killed would step out to reveal himself.

  ‘What is she talking about?’ asked Trin.

  ‘A trick, just some sort of a trick. Or maybe I am dead after all, and this is the next stage. First nothing, then you start seeing things like… things like you three.’

  ‘Things like us three?’ replied Kala.

  ‘I thought you’d gone out,’ said Feal. ‘Did you forget something?’

  I walked slowly around the edge of the room, not taking my eyes off the three of them in case they turned into something else. Something dangerous. Or just in case they disappeared and I lost them again.

  ‘Stella,’ said Trin. ‘Have you gone quite mad?’

  ‘Why isn’t she speaking?’

  ‘I don’t know, why would I know? I know as much as you do,’ said Feal.

  ‘You’re real,’ I said.

  ‘Well done,’ replied Kala.

  ‘I mean, you’re really real, this isn’t a trick. This isn’t in my head.’

  My three witches looked at me, confused. But it was true, I could tell. I could feel it in my bones. This wasn’t an illusion. They weren’t ghosts. They weren’t tricks. This was really them. My three dead masters, resurrected. But how?

  ‘Wait a second,’ said Trin, licking her lips. ‘Something’s happening.’

  ‘What?’ asked Feal. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Can’t you taste it?’ asked Kala.

  Feal began to lick her lips too. ‘Oh! Oh. Time travel.’

  ‘Time travel,’ said Trin.

  They looked to me again as
I took in what they’d just said. They weren’t resurrected. They were alive because they hadn’t died yet. Mr. Trick had yet to crash into our lives and take them from me.

  Which meant…

  ‘Why are you here, Stella?’ asked Trin. ‘And how? Do you know how much energy, how much power, it takes to skip back into your own timeline?’

  ‘Even the three of us combined couldn’t pull that off.’

  I stepped towards them, my heart beating ten to the dozen. I had a chance here. Whatever David had done, the magic he had released, it had sent me tumbling into the past, back to before my masters were murdered, and that meant I could save them.

  ‘Listen to me,’ I said. ‘I need to tell you about something. No, I need to warn you. I need to warn you about what’s going to happen.’

  Kala stepped forward, waving her arms around. ‘Whoa now, hush.’

  ‘Stop right there,’ said Trin.

  ‘But, I’ve got to warn you about—’

  ‘We don’t want to know,’ said Feal.

  ‘Whatever has knocked you back here will pass. Time travel is only ever temporary. But while you’re here, you can’t tell us anything.’

  ‘But you don’t understand!’

  ‘Stella, we understand.’

  I felt myself getting angry, frustrated. Why couldn’t they just let me save them?

  ‘Something bad is going to—’

  ‘Silence,’ said Trin, and I felt my words catch in my throat. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t. She’d cast a silent spell on me. I felt my eyes prickle with tears as I felt the chance slipping away.

  ‘We understand, Stella,’ said Trin. ‘Something bad has happened, but it hasn’t happened yet. You can’t do this.’

  ‘Whatever it is, it’s already done,’ said Feal. ‘You can’t change it. If you tell us, and we stop it, do you realise the damage that would happen?’

  ‘You cannot change history,’ said Kala. ‘Not one line. No matter how awful those lines are, they’ve already been written.’

  ‘Those are the rules, no matter what.’

  I wanted to say Damn the rules. Wanted to tear them up and stomp them into the floor. Who gave a crap about what damage it might do if I could save them all from Mr. Trick?

  ‘Stella, whatever made it possible for you to be here, it’s dangerous,’ said Trin.

  Kala nodded. ‘I can feel it. The power that sent you to us. It’s almost too much to bear.’

  ‘Whatever it is,’ said Feal, ‘it must be stopped. No doubt we’ve already said this to you, but we’re saying it again. Stop it. Do whatever it takes, or else everyone will be in danger.’

  The room began to fade as I searched for paper, for a pen. Something to scrawl “Run. Just run. Mr. Trick is coming!” but everything around me was turning to smoke. Or maybe it was me.

  ‘Stop them, Stella,’ said Trin.

  ‘Whatever it is, you have to destroy it.’

  I tried to shout. Tried to scream. Felt my throat grow raw with a hundred silent cries.

  And then they were gone.

  15

  I opened my eyes to find Eva looking down at me.

  ‘It looks like you had one hell of a party in here, love.’

  I sat up sharply, my chest heaving. I was back in The Beehive. What was left of it anyway. Every stick of furniture had been reduced to splinters, and glass covered the floor.

  ‘Eva, where’s David?’

  She looked around and shrugged. ‘Maybe he’s taking a piss.’

  I stood and scanned the four corners of the room, but there was no sign of David, and no sign of anyone else. Of Lenny, of the other drinkers who’d attacked us, just the smashed aftermath.

  ‘There was a fight. A fight between us and, well, a lot of people. They were trying to kill David.’

  ‘Makes sense. Scared people do scared things.’

  ‘And then, David, he… well I don’t know what he did, not exactly, but this energy burst out of him, did this to the room, and sent me back in time. For a bit.’

  Eva regarded me, surprised. ‘You went back in time? Actually, you know, hopped back? In time? Time travelled? In time?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Huh. Well that’s cool.’

  ‘I saw my witches. They were alive and I spoke to them.’

  Eva began to prod at glass shards with the toe of her boot. ‘Must be nice. I wonder what I’d say to mine if I had the chance.’

  ‘They wouldn’t let me warn them about what was going to happen. All they cared about was me killing David. Everyone wants me to kill David!’

  ‘I don’t. Though we should probably shove him on a boat and drop him off on a remote, uninhabited island and let him explode in peace.’

  I yanked out my phone, surprised to see it was still working, and hit David’s name. It went straight to voicemail. ‘Shit.’

  ‘Aha!’ cried Eva, as she found the last unbroken bottle of alcohol in the pub. She yanked out the cork with her teeth, spat it against the wall, and took a nice, big swig. ‘Every cloud, Stella.’

  ‘Eva, I need your help.’

  Eva drank some more, squinting at me. ‘I’m not much of a fan of helping, these days. FYI. I’m more of a sitter-outer. And a drinker. And a lounger. I am the Queen of lounging.’

  ‘Just… just help me. Please.’

  Eva sighed, drained the bottle, tossed it over her shoulder, then waved her hand at me as she headed towards the door, which was hanging off its hinges. ‘Come on then, let’s find your super-dangerous-we-should-definitely-probably-save-London-from-him friend.’

  I looked around at the destruction and wondered what had happened to everyone else. As if on cue, there was a ripple in the air, a dark blur, the sound of twisting metal, and then Lenny appeared on the ground, back from wherever David had sent him, his eyes springing open.

  ‘I did not enjoy that,’ he said, in his low rumble of a voice.

  ‘Lenny, you’re okay, thank God.’

  Lenny looked around at his pub, then over to me. ‘I think you and your mate are barred for a bit.’

  ‘Yeah. I think we are.’

  I headed after Eva, my boots crunching glass, as the others began to appear, one by one, back from their own short trips through time. I grabbed Eva and we hung back, out of sight, until they all left, staggering off to lick their wounds. I’d hoped David would appear at some point too, but he didn’t.

  As we turned down David’s street I tried his phone for the twentieth time, but like the previous nineteen, it went to voicemail. Didn’t even ring, just straight through to the increasingly annoying recorded greeting.

  ‘Give it a rest,’ said Eva, ‘he’s not answering.’

  I glared at her and pocketed my phone.

  ‘Look on the bright side, maybe he disintegrated. Maybe that was it. His big bang, and L’Merrier just overestimated what sort of damage he was going to do. Instead of leaving London a smoking crater, he just broke a few chairs, popped the lot of you back in time for a bit, and then turned himself into a fine powder of some description.’

  ‘So, your brightside is David is dead?’

  Eva shrugged. ‘Well, better he dies and hurts no one else than, you know, he hurts millions of people, or even maybe you have to kill the poor sod.’

  I didn’t have a response for that. It was true. If David was okay, all that that meant was that L’Merrier was right, my witches were right. Everyone was right. David was a danger and the danger was only ramping up. What just happened in The Beehive was evidence enough of that. A tremor before the big one. I needed to solve this, I only hoped to God it wouldn’t mean my killing him.

  Whatever happened, I’d find a way.

  I had to.

  I knocked on David’s front door a couple of times, then let myself in with the spare key he’d given me. A few letters were piled on the welcome mat, which was about all the evidence you need that someone hasn’t been home. We went in anyway though, just in case. His outburst had sent me—at lea
st briefly, and in another time—back home. Back to my coven. Maybe it had done the same for him.

  ‘Eva?’

  ‘Hm?’ she answered distractedly as she rummaged through a kitchen cupboard and retrieved a box of cereal, which she began to eat dry from the box.

  ‘If David had sent himself home, sent himself here, but to an earlier time, would you be able to sense that?’

  Yeah, we’re both familiars, but Eva is more skilled than I am. She may have been dulling herself with bad living, but of the two of us she still had more experience, power, and ability.

  ‘Yeah. Probably. Kind of an effort though. To do the sensing bit. Like trying to squeeze out a difficult poo, if you know what I mean.’

  ‘Great.’

  ‘I mean a giant, bone-dry hog of a turd.’

  ‘Thanks, I get it. Can you just do it, please?’

  She shoved another handful of cereal into her mouth, then sighed, sending a cloud of crumbs firing out. ‘Fine. You know you’re a needy bitch.’

  Eva sat at the kitchen table and laid her hands down flat, closing her eyes. I felt the magic in the air begin to ripple around me, then surge towards Eva as she willed the Uncanny into her and searched for any signs of time disturbance.

  There was a rattle to my left. I turned to see dishes on the drying rack trembling, then cupboard doors vibrating, the light fitting juddering. Eva reached out with her senses, not just into the here and now, but probing fissures to the past. Sweat beads began to form on her forehead, then roll down, her face twitching as her body shook with the effort.

  Finally, she opened her eyes and the kitchen fell silent again, apart from Eva taking ragged gasps of air.

  ‘Well?’

  ‘No, I’m not. I’m severely shagged out.’

  ‘Did you find anything? Did David send himself back here but to an earlier point in time?’

  ‘Oh, no. I got nothing besides a damp bra,’ she said, scratching her underboobs.

  ‘Fuck.’

  David was alive, I knew it. I was sure that if he’d obliterated himself I’d feel it. I had to find him before someone else did and decided to finish the job the patrons at The Beehive had started.

  Or before he took out the entire city.