Wings of Deception

by Pamela Carron

  She picked up her bag and taking a deep breath, left her room and joined Jacks in the den where he took her bag from her.

  “I got it. I will just put these in the truck while you lock up.”

  This caused her to laugh as she followed him out.

  “Jacks, I could not even tell you where my key is, it has been so long since I used it!”

  “You are kidding?”

  “No, I am not; there has never even been a burglary in my neighborhood that I can recall. We all watch out for each other here. Believe me, if someone went into my house they would be seen. Just like now.”

  She waved at her elderly neighbor who lived directly across from her.

  “Good morning Mrs. Dallas!” Turning to Jacks, she made a face. “See. Now I do not even have to worry about what the conversations will be about today!”

  She was laughing as she slid into the front seat and put her seatbelt on.

  “Gossip, huh?”

  “They are dears and it will be nice gossip they will do. They are just curious, so you see why I do not have to lock my doors.”

  “I guess.”

  He was busy fastening his own seatbelt. It was after he was on the main street that would lead them out of town that either talked again. Honey was still silently battling herself with the pros and cons of what she was doing and Jacks was thinking how brilliant it was to think of taking her with him. He had finally admitted his love for her and it was a good feeling and he knew she felt the same, even though she had expressed doubts. They could work out their differences. He was happy.

  He looked over at her. She looked incredibly beautiful to him and he thought, if there was a God, I would want it to be the one she believes in so much. Then he thought about when he was a child and how he perceived God. He was a fearsome thing to him and someone who could make him burn in a fire forever. It seemed to him that there must be two of them out there, for the one Honey declared to him was a God of love and one to be revered and not feared. He wondered if he could have been wrong.

  Honey was just about to ask Jacks to turn around and take her back when he asked a question that made her sure she was doing the right thing.

  “Honey, I was thinking that maybe….if you want….you could tell me about, you know, some of the things you mentioned before about Jesus. I never really cared to know this stuff but it is such a big part of your life, I would like you to share it.” He quickly added, “Not that I am buying into it or anything, I just want to know this part of who you are a little better.”

  “Oh.”

  “You do not have to. I just thought….”

  “No, I want to, really.” She hurriedly assured him but he had so surprised her by his request that she could not think. Before she could say anything more, her cell phone rang. She looked at it to see who it was. “It’s Sheila. Hello Sheila.”

  “Where are you? I went over for coffee and conversation and you were already out this morning, but your car is still in the drive.”

  “Uh, yes, I left pretty early.”

  “Well, how did things go with Jacks and what happened last night between the two of you and don’t say nothing, because I won’t believe you!”

  “Okay, but it will have to wait. I am on my way to the airport with Jacks.”

  “Wait a minute. You are with Jacks right now. I don’t understand. Did he stay at your place last night?”

  “That’s right. I am going to New York with him.”

  “You are kidding? You are not kidding are you? Whoa, talk about me being impulsive!”

  “Sheila, can we talk later, I forgot to charge my phone and it is just about to go dead. I will call you tonight from the hotel.”

  “Oh, all right, but do not forget!”

  Honey was telling the truth about the phone but was glad to have the excuse not to answer any of Sheila’s questions. After she put her phone away she told Jacks, “We are almost to the airport so can we wait to continue our conversation, when we have plenty of time.”

  “Sure. I bet Sheila is dying with curiosity. What did she say anyway?”

  Honey laughed. “She wants details about last night.”

  “And what will you tell her.”

  “Oh, I do not know…. the truth I suppose. You know she will not let up until I do.”

  “What is the truth?” She could not tell if he was teasing or if he was being serious, for he kept his eyes on the road so she turned it around. “You tell me.”

  He laughed at her. “Okay…”

  “Jacks the airport exit!”

  He barely managed to get into the right lane in time to make the turn.

  “Gee, that was fast! We are almost there….but about the truth, still want to hear it?”

  “Maybe, but I think you should concentrate on this traffic right now and tell me later.”

  “Yeah? You don’t think I can talk and drive at the same time? I can you know. And my version of the truth is really very simple, last night something happened that you cannot see, taste, smell, hear or touch. It was this feeling that you just know in your heart is right and it will last forever, no matter what happens.”

  He swung into the parking facility and killed the engine but instead of getting out he turned to look at her and took her hand in his.

  “It took months for me to admit how I feel about you and now it feels so good to be able to look at you and tell you that I love you with all my heart. I have never felt this way before. Not in my entire life and even if we are never together as I hope we are, then I will still love you…. forever. Now, come on, we got a plane to catch!”

  Honey was glad that she was not expected to respond to his words for she did not think she could. Not right then with her heart feeling the sweet pain it was feeling. She did not wait but opened her door and got out. He had their bags and they rushed to get on the flight before it was too late.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  There was no talking on the plane for the only seat available for Honey was two rows in front of Jacks. He tried to get someone to exchange places but it didn’t happen, so he was stuck listening to a stranger chatter all the way to New York, while luckily Honey had brought a book. One that she had been reading on for a while called The Fifth Mountain, and though she was disappointed at not being able to sit next to Jacks, she was very engrossed in the book, so that before she realized it the plane was already landing.

  Their bags were carryon, so they did not get hung up waiting for luggage and were out hailing a taxi within minutes of leaving the plane. Jacks directed the driver to the hotel he always used and it was then that Honey thought about sleeping arrangements. She decided that she would just get her own room when they arrived at the hotel and not make a big deal out of it. She was surprised to find that Jacks had already arranged to have two adjoining rooms. She was glad she didn’t mention it. She was also happy to know that just because they had fallen asleep on her sofa the night before that he did not assume she would share a room with him.

  He unlocked her door first and sat her bag on the bed. “Do not get to comfortable, we are going somewhere. You can unlock that door there and just come through my room.”

  “Okay.” She shut the outside door and opened the one connecting the two rooms, just as he opened his side.

  “Now,” He grinned and pulled her into his room. “See what a gentleman I am? You have your own space to sleep in, that is if we sleep. Come on, I know you have been to New York before but I want to show you places I bet you have not seen. Iam hungry, you?”

  “Not until you mentioned it. Now I am.”

  “So there is this little hole in the wall place I know. How do you feel about Korean food?”

  “I love it, if it is good. If it is bad, I do not like it so well.”

  ”This place is insanely good!”

  They were again in a taxi and made small talk until they reached a place on forty-third and Johnson. Honey was dubious about the surroundings. It was a long way from Fifth Avenue and
when Jacks saw she was worried he assured her.

  “You are safe around here, I know this side of town really well and the owners of this joint are friends of mine.”

  “If you say so.” She walked through the door that he opened for her and was stunned that the inside was as beautiful as the outside was ugly. It was small but furnished with original detailed Korean items. Honey was impressed with the artwork. There were very few customers, for it was early still in the day and when Jacks was spotted by the owner, he was greeted with an enthusiastic hug and much Korean talk. The woman was short and plump in stature and Honey smiled at the fact that Jacks had to bend down to facilitate the embrace. She was further amazed when he conversed with the woman in her native tongue.

  He then turned and introduced her. “Sang-mi, this is my friend Honey.” Explaining to Honey he said, “Sang-mi has been in this very same spot since I was a teenager. She got my butt out of trouble more times than I like to remember.”

  Sang-mi bobbed at Honey then took her hand. “San-mi say missy a very special friend to my boy Jacks. Uh huh, she do.” The smile on her brown face was broad and friendly and Honey could not help but like her instantly. Obviously, she knew Jacks very well.

  They were placed at a table which Jacks must have asked. It was off to itself and close to the back where the kitchen was. Sang-mi said she was going to cook their food herself, stating that she was the only person to please him. When they were alone, Honey teased him. “And I thought you said you did not have a mother, Jacks. Looks like Sang-mi was a good woman to have around. How did you come to know her?”

  “She was one of the many boat people who got stranded in the Philippians back in the sixties and she met a couple from New York who hired her as a nanny to their children. The children grew up and one of them opened this place for her. Now she is sole owner and does quite well for herself. When I was a kid I came in here with some friends to eat.” He paused looking ill at ease from the memories. “Anyway, we had this scam going where we would eat and leave without paying. The others got away but she caught me. Best thing that ever happened to me for after a night of washing dishes, she took me home with her, cleaned me up and put me on the right track. I owe her, I will always owe her. So now you know what I was like as a kid.” Honey could tell by the way he talked he cared very much for Sang-mi and it touched something deep within her core and she changed the subject.

  “What did you order anyway. I don’t understand one word of Korean?”

  “It is a surprise.” Jacks perked up. “Some of my favorite dishes and no one cooks them the way Sang-mi does. Not to worry though, you will love the food. After we eat, I want to show you something else. We have time before the car picks us up this evening.”

  “Car? Where are we going then?”

  “Oh, about an hour’s drive out of the city. I want to introduce you to Asa.”

  “Who is Asa?” She had never heard him mentioned before.

  “Hmmm. Best way to explain Asa is for you to meet him in person.”

  “Jacks,” Honey replied with concern. “Is this man one of them?”

  “If by them, you mean Morgan and assonates. I suppose I could say yes but you have to remember that Morgan was somewhat of a liability to the cause of these people. I understand now what they are all about and it is not what you think. Asa is just an eccentric old man and we are actually connected.”

  “Connected….how so?”

  He wanted to share everything with Honey. Jacks took a deep breath before he answered. “You could say that he is my…. grandfather.”

  “What! But I thought, you said….”

  “I know what I said. I did tell you that I was an orphan and I was. I never knew I had any family until recently. Asa found me after all these years.”

  “You know this to be true?”

  “I have seen the proof.” Jacks had intended to tell her the story but now he was thinking maybe he should not. But he wanted no secrets between them so he continued. “So here is the story and you can judge for yourself.” He then repeated the story as told him by Asa. He could see that Honey was as confounded by it as he had been. Before she could express her many doubts, Sang-mi arrived with a server and both were laden down with food.

  “Oh my gosh Jacks, we cannot possibly eat all this food!”

  He in turn grinned at her while complimenting Sang-mi in Korean which she responded in English.

  “You do Sang-mi honor to have her food to eat. No have to eat all but try everything. Bear eat the rest. Enjoy!”

  Her words were directed to Honey, as she stared at the table full of food in awe. She realized she was hungrier than she thought and they actually did a good job eating.

  “Who is Bear?” She asked after she had finished eating all she possibly could.

  “Bear is Sang-mi’s dog. He loves Korean food and does not get too much for there are rarely any leftovers for him. See, we ate more than you thought we would.”

  “I guess we did. It was a fabulous meal, the best Korean food I have ever had in fact.”

  “I will be sure to tell Sang-mi that. She takes great pride in her cooking skills.”

  He waved the woman over and Honey could tell she would be taking no money from them by her tone of voice. When she turned to Honey she showed her delight in the fact that she had enjoyed the meal.

  “You be coming to see old Sang-mi again real soon missy. My boy, he likes and Sang-mi likes.” She bobbed at her and hugged Jacks, speaking Korean and Jacks laughed out loud at whatever it was that she said to him.

  They left and were on their way to their next destination before Honey remembered Sang-mi’s farewell to Jacks and his boisterous laughter.

  “What did she say to make you laugh so back there?”

  “Sang-mi? Oh, she just said I best hurry up and marry you and maybe you could still give me at least two sons.” He laughed again at the look on Honey’s face.

  “Hey, she liked you and that was a compliment, whether you know it or not.”

  Honey decided not to pursue the issue and wished she had not asked.

  “So what is this other thing you are taking me to see?”

  “We are there. The taxi pulled over and he got out and helped her out. They were standing in an older neighborhood of houses that were more on the rundown side. He took her hand and started toward the corner where a church stood just as shabby as the houses around it. When they were in front of it Jacks stopped and Honey was totally perplexed.

  “Why are we here standing in front of a church? You do not even believe in God.”

  “You want to know me, don’t you? We are here because to know me, I have to take you back to my childhood. You met the young Jacks as a teen back there at Sang-mi’s. A scoundrel and a thief by the time I was fifteen. I was living on the streets by then and no one cared as long as the checks kept coming.” He took her hand and led her into the church coming to the first pew he sat her down and sat with her looking at the all too familiar surroundings. It had changed little through the years, if any. His face wore no expression that Honey could tell until he continued, and then she saw a range of emotions as he described his younger years. She listened as the hopes a little boy had of becoming part of a family turned to hurt as he went from one foster home to another, instead. The pain as he relived the beatings, abuse, and the anger as he was forced to accept the abuse, for he had no voice that would be heard. He did not leave anything out, even the worst of it and by the time he finished, she was crying inside and out. He stopped and she wiped her eyes, she did not understand why they had come to the church for him to tell her his story. He saw her tears and handing her a handkerchief said wryly, “I am not telling you all this to have you feel sorry for me. It is just that I have never wanted anyone to know me as I want you to know me. I love you, I want to share every little bit of me and this is a big part of who I am.”

  “Why the church though? I don’t understand.”

  “Do you see that alter up
front? Yeah, well that is where I decided that if I were to live, I would have to do it on my own. My last foster parents got me when I was ten. I had never heard of God before then but got a crash course from them. The man tried to beat God into me, or the devil out, not sure which. His wife would take me down to that alter right there,” He pointed at a certain spot. “She would make me pray for all my unholy sins; all the while telling me, how hot hell was and I was headed that way. At first I thought God was someone who could help me and I did pray frantically. It took me a while to realize it was not working, that there was no one there. No one. Can you not see that if God were real, he would have let me know? He would have helped me.”

  Honey had no words except, “I am sorry Jacks, I am so sorry that you were cheated out of your childhood. The thing is, believe it or not, you were one of the lucky ones. Look at you now! You made something of your life, you are somebody and I think you had much more help than you know.”

  “How is that?”

  “You were strong and you survived. So did I, but Jacks not all children do. My sister Bea, she did not. She died a horrible death because she could not endure.”

  “What happened?”

  She told him the story of her own dysfunctional family upbringing. How her father abused her and her brother and sister. How Bea swallowed a bottle of pills taken from their parents medicine cabinet in a moment of hysteria from the sexual advances of their father.

  “Oh my God!”

  Honey smiled. “You do not believe in Him, remember?”

  “Yeah right, and this was your true father? Did he, did he….well you know?”

  “Yes, our own biological father and no, it was not rape but the damage of molestation is sometimes as severe as rape.”

  “What about your mother?”

  “She was clueless. Bea tried talking to her but she was one of these people who just did not get it. And now you know why I stopped believing in God as a child. Maybe not in the same way as you but all the same, I started believing that the Jesus I was taught in Sunday school was not a real person. As I grew into an adult, it was easy to believe in a power that was who or whatever you deemed it to be. I did not believe that there was this entity that really cared enough to be born of the flesh as we had to be and that He loved us so much that He gave His life, so that we could live eternally with Him, if we choose too.”