Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1)

by Michelle Betham

  ‘Not really, no.’

  ‘Well, you’re a natural, honey. And watching you out there…’ My eyes drop as she lets the robe she’s wearing fall open, and she’s naked underneath. Of course she is. She’s about to go on any second and give those guys out there the show they’re expecting from her; the show they expect from all us girls. ‘You got me wet, girl.’ She sets her feet wider apart, and I raise my gaze, her eyes burning into mine. ‘Go on. Feel how wet you got me.’

  I reach out and slide a hand between her legs, sinking my fingers into her slit, and she’s soaking. Her quiet moans cause my thighs to tingle, and I want to sink to my knees and lick her dry, but I don’t. She needs to be pumped to give them out there her all. But I really, really want to lick her dry, and I silently curse Mack for taking that pleasure away from me. Or has he? Maybe fucking a woman would take my mind off what I should be steering clear of – him.

  ‘Y’know, just because Mack’s called time on our public performances, don’t mean to say we can’t still play in private.’

  It’s like she’s read my mind, and I smile as I carefully maneuver two fingers inside of her. ‘Yeah. I think I’d like that.’ I feel my stomach contract as she clenches her muscles, gripping my fingers tight.

  ‘I know I’d like it,’ she murmurs, pushing down so my fingers sink deeper into her, and I want to finish this job, so bad. I want to bring her off then let her do the same to me. ‘But it’s gonna have to be later, honey. I’ve got work to do first.’

  I pull out of her, and I watch as she ties the robe back around herself and sashays towards the dressing room door. What I’ve become over these past few months still sickens me slightly, because I don’t recognize who I am anymore. All I know is I need to keep focus and get the job done. Sam’ll sort out the rest. He’ll help me. I just need to make sure I leave as soon as it’s over. Which is why I can’t let myself become involved with Mack. I thought it could work, I thought it might be OK, but it isn’t. I have to go home. And I will. Soon.

  The sound of the door slamming and angry footsteps echoing around the room makes me look up, and my stomach’s suddenly knotted with nerves as I see Mack striding towards me, his face contorted into a mask of anger.

  ‘What the fuck do you take me for, huh?’

  It takes a second before I realize he’s talking to me. He has to be talking to me, I’m the only one in here now Cora’s left.

  ‘You’re dancing at Viper’s bar? He fucking saw you, Izzi. He saw you, and he’s fucking angry, sweetheart.’ He grabs my arm and pushes me back against the wall, his eyes burning into mine, and I’m scared. I’m terrified, because this is my worst nightmare. I didn’t think this through, and I wish Sam were here. He’d be angry, too; angry that I ignored everything he told me and tried to be clever. But he’d save me. He’d help me. ‘But he ain’t half as angry as I am, darlin’. You fucking lied to me, Izzi. You stood there and told me you weren’t gunning for Viper’s crew no more…’

  ‘And you believed me?’ I have to hold my nerve, keep calm, and play this out. I can do it. I can. ‘More fool you.’

  I try to push him away but he’s got me trapped. He’s too far into my space for me to feel comfortable, but this is my fault. And only I can fix it.

  ‘You fucking bitch!’ he spits, and it’s taking every ounce of strength I have not to break down. Because I really am scared now.

  I flinch as he punches the space right beside my head, his cries of anger and frustration bouncing off the walls, turning my stomach as the fear intensifies. I don’t know how this is going to play out now. I’ve got no fucking idea. I think I might be in way over my head here.

  ‘You’ve got no idea what you’ve done,’ he says through gritted teeth, and his expression still scares me. I haven’t seen him like this, and I guess I’m now witnessing what men like him are really capable of. Sam warned me, and I ignored him. I thought I knew best. I thought I could do this my way. I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. ‘You’ve got no fucking idea…’

  He punches the wall a second time, and another cry of frustration echoes around the empty space, filling my head; feeding the fear.

  ‘Why’d you do it, Izzi?’

  His tone is calmer now, and that takes me by surprise. ‘I… I came here to…’ I can’t get the words out, they’re stuck in my throat and I can’t seem to dislodge them. ‘I can’t walk away from here without finishing the job.’ I finally manage it, and my voice is much calmer and steadier than I thought it would be, given the circumstances. ‘I can’t do it, Mack.’

  ‘Shit! Izzi… Jesus!’ He lets go of my wrist and steps back from me, running a hand backwards and forwards over his head. ‘Shit!’

  I can’t believe I’ve been this naive. After everything I went through to turn me into this person I needed to be, I go and blow it on some stupid, rash decision. Did I really think I could handle this alone? Yeah. I did. And now I don’t know if I can handle it at all.

  ‘OK. OK, we can sort this.’

  I fold my arms across my chest, my eyes following his every move as he paces the floor, running a hand almost constantly across the back of his neck, his eyes down on the ground.

  ‘We need to get you out of here. Get you somewhere safe.’ He stops pacing and his eyes dart around the room until they fall on my clothes thrown over a chair by the dressing table. He grabs them and throws them at me before he takes his phone from his pocket, flicks his fingers over the screen a couple of times and presses it to his ear. ‘Get dressed.’

  He turns away from me and I can hear him talking into his phone but he’s bowed his head and lowered his voice so I can’t make out what he’s saying. Or who he’s talking to. But even with his back to me his body language is agitated.

  I quickly pull on my clothes and drag my hair back into a ponytail as he turns around to face me. His expression’s still angry, and my stomach is tied in so many knots now I can’t even breathe properly, but I have to do as he says. I fucked up, and right now he’s the only one who can help me. I have no one else.

  ‘Come on.’

  He grabs my hand and drags me out of the room and down a corridor that leads out through the back of the club. There’s a small black truck outside, and Mack pulls me towards it as Duke and another club member I recognize but whose name I still can’t remember, but I think he’s Mack’s VP, open the back doors.

  ‘Get inside.’

  I look at Mack. ‘What’s happening?’

  ‘They’re gonna find out who you are, Izzi, you know that now, don’t you? Viper’s crew, they’re gonna want to know what you were playing at. Why you did what you did, and they’ll find out. Believe me, darlin’, this ain’t a game…’

  ‘I didn’t…’

  ‘They’ll find out what you were planning to do and they’ll come after you, and Viper, he ain’t gonna settle until he’s finished this. And I can deal with him, I’ll help you, Izzi, but we need to get you out of here…’ He drops his gaze and runs a hand across the back of his neck. ‘Duke and Odi are gonna take you to our safe house…’

  ‘Safe house?’

  ‘Look, sweetheart, I ain’t got time for this, just get in the fucking truck.’

  He’s serious. And I don’t think I’ve left myself with much of a choice now. I have to do as he says or face, what? For the first time since I started this crazy vendetta I feel like I’m drowning; like I really am out of my depth. The adrenaline rush has gone, and all I’m left with is this terrifying reality.

  I climb into the back of the truck and sit down, drawing my knees to my chest and I close my eyes as the doors slam shut, plunging me into darkness.

  And whatever happens next, I don’t think that’s up to me anymore…

  Chapter Seventeen

  Mack

  That fucking need to protect her won’t leave me alone. It kicked in like it was the most natural thing in the world, even though she’s probably thrown my club right into the middle of something we didn’t ask to be a pa
rt of. And Viper, he’s gonna want answers. But he’s gonna have to wait, because I got shit I need to deal with first. Odi can take the reins over at the clubhouse until I get back.

  I pull up outside the small, one-storey white-board house, spinning my Harley to a stop by the porch steps, and I stay straddling the bike for a second or two, waiting to see if she’s gonna do what I hope she’s savvy enough not to, and I smile to myself as I realize she ain’t completely stupid. That’s something, anyway.

  I look around me, a small nod of the head acknowledging the prospect I’ve got keeping watch here out the back of the house. I saw another two brothers by the gate as I was riding in so everything’s in place. I just needed to make sure for myself.

  I throw my helmet down onto the bike seat and take the porch steps two at a time, pulling the key from my cut pocket and letting myself in, closing the door behind me. She’s sitting at the kitchen table when I walk in, and the second she hears me she looks up, and she’s unable to keep the shock off her face, although it quickly turns to relief when she realizes it’s me.

  ‘Jesus, Mack! You scared me.’

  ‘You might wanna put some music on, honey. Get some noise going on in here, make the place feel more like home.’

  She stands up and walks over to the stove, picking up the kettle and filling it with water. ‘I quite like the peace and quiet.’

  ‘You got something stronger than that?’

  She looks at me as she places the kettle on the stove. ‘You’re driving.’

  I shrug, and she opens the fridge and takes out a beer, throwing me the bottle. ‘You not having one?’

  ‘No.’

  She leans back against the counter and folds her arms against herself, her gaze dropping to the floor.

  ‘You doing OK?’

  She looks up at me, and I can see in her eyes that she’s trying to put up some kinda front here, but deep down she’s scared. I can see that, too. ‘You seen Viper yet?’

  ‘He’s been in touch.’ I take a long swig of beer, keeping my eyes fixed on hers. ‘I’m trying to organize a sit-down.’

  She drops her gaze again, and I put my beer down and move closer to her, but I’m sensing she doesn’t want me too far into her space.

  ‘You put yourself out there, darlin’. And I don’t know what in hell’s name you were trying to achieve…’

  Her head shoots up, and her eyes are blazing with the kinda intensity I ain’t used to seeing from someone as beautiful as her. ‘They killed my dad. They murdered my fiancé. And you think I can just let that go?’

  ‘You need to.’

  ‘Would you? If it was a member of your family…’

  ‘I ain’t got no family.’

  ‘If it was a member of your club? Would you just let it go?’

  ‘Jesus, Izzi, this is different…’

  ‘My dad and fiancé worth less than your brothers, huh? Is that it?’

  ‘You need to leave this alone, darlin’. Seriously.’

  She shakes her head. ‘I don’t have to do shit, Mack.’

  I move a little closer, because she needs to hear this and believe this and know that this is what’s gonna happen. ‘You need to stay here and shut the fuck up until I’ve dealt with whatever crap you’ve kicked up.’

  ‘I thought you people didn’t hurt anyone who doesn’t belong to your pathetic little gang culture. You don’t kill innocents, isn’t that right?’

  ‘Not if we can help it, honey…’

  She laughs, a cold, humorless laugh and I don’t think she gets this; how dangerous she’s made things for herself now. ‘Not if you can help it…’ Her eyes have clouded over with something verging on rage and frustration, and it’s unsettling, I’m not gonna lie, because I’m dealing with one unpredictable woman here. ‘They took my whole life away from me. They took everything, in a heartbeat. And I can’t let that go, Mack. I can’t. I need my life back – I need some kind of life back, so I am gonna deal with…’

  I grab her arm and twist it up her back, causing her to yelp out in pain, and I loosen my grip slightly. ‘You are gonna deal with shit, Izzi. Y’hear me, darlin’? You are gonna stay here and wait until I give you permission to leave, you understand?’

  ‘You’re gonna keep me here against my will?’

  ‘That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.’

  She laughs again, and I don’t know whether her stubborn defiance is pissing me off or turning me on. ‘You can’t do that, Mack.’

  ‘I can do what the hell I like, sweetheart. You walked into my town and dumped thirty kinds of crap on my doorstep that I’ve now got to clear up. Crap that could put my club in jeopardy. Crap that means all the hard work I had to do to build up trust with Viper and his crew, that’s been destroyed, darlin’. And that’s your fault. Your crap is gonna cost us big. We’re gonna lose money, respect; our reputation is gonna mean shit around town unless I can fix this. Your crap, Izzi. So, you’re gonna do what I tell you to do until that crap is cleared up. You hearing me now?’

  She holds my gaze and yanks her arm free of my grip, her expression not wavering once, Jesus, this bitch really has got some balls.

  ‘Is there a reason you’ve come here? Other than to lay down your twisted, fucked-up law?’

  ‘Hey, you might want to start showing a bit more respect here, darlin’, considering I’m in the middle of trying to save your pretty ass.’

  ‘Don’t do me any favors, Mack.’

  ‘Oh, Ok. You don’t need my help?’

  She’s pushing me, and I’m letting her, and I need to stop this. I can’t walk away from her, I’m not throwing her to the fucking wolves. I’m not doing that. So she can push me all she likes. She’ll find out there’s a limit.

  She says nothing for a couple of seconds and I watch as her expression finally changes, a wave of something I think borders on resignation passing over her eyes before it’s quickly replaced by that cold, hard edge she’s so keen on displaying. But I’ve seen past that now, and she must know that.

  ‘You need my help, Izzi.’

  She throws her head back and sighs; a deep, heavy sigh that’s loaded with frustration.

  ‘You gonna play ball now, darlin’?’

  Her eyes are back on mine, and she ain’t calmed that inner bitch any. She’s still there, but I can handle her. This girl ain’t gonna be a problem no more.

  ‘This ain’t your world, Izzi, I know that. It ain’t, and you can’t tell me otherwise. You don’t belong here, but, man, you are more than able to look after yourself in a place that’s so far away from your own…’

  ‘Don’t patronize me, Mack. Don’t do that. You have no idea what I had to do to make myself ready…’

  She stops talking and drops her gaze again, and I frown, because she was about to open up there. She was about to tell me shit I think I need to hear.

  ‘Then tell me.’

  She slowly looks up, and I try to soften my expression, but that ain’t something I’ve ever been all that good at doing. ‘Tell you what?’

  ‘What you had to do. To get yourself ready – for what, Izzi? Huh? For whatever revenge it was you were planning on Viper and his crew?’

  ‘You make it sound like some sort of game.’

  ‘This ain’t no game, sweetheart.’

  ‘They killed people I loved. They turned me into this, into someone I don’t recognize, but I need to be her. I need to be this person so I can…’

  Once more she stops talking and her eyes drop to the floor.

  ‘So you can, what, Izzi? So you can kill? So you can take someone’s life…?’

  ‘The way they took my dad’s.’ The look in her eyes sends a shiver running through me so cold I can feel it almost freezing the blood as it pumps through my veins. ‘The way they took Aiden’s. The way I’m going to take theirs.’

  ‘Jesus Christ, Izzi…’

  I sit down and drop my head into my hands. I don’t know what the fuck to do now. I’ve handled sit-downs with gu
ys holding guns; dealt with shit that threatened my club, my town and the lives of my crew, and I can do that crap with my fucking eyes closed. But this – this is making me nervous. She’s making me nervous.

  ‘I can’t let it go, Mack.’

  I slowly raise my head, my eyes locking with hers and I don’t know what to say. She’s this beautiful girl with a stone-cold heart and a mind set only on revenge. I’ve never had to deal with that before; never thought I’d have to.

  ‘I can’t.’

  I sigh quietly and stand up, bowing my head as I walk over to her. ‘Then you’re leaving me no choice here , darlin’.’ I look up and her eyes meet mine and they’re slightly confused by what I’ve just said. With good reason. ‘I’m gonna have to help you.’

  She shakes her head and I don’t know whether she’s accepting my offer or telling me to back off. I just know I can’t leave her like this. She ain’t gonna leave this alone, which means I can’t, either.

  ‘I don’t need your help, Mack.’

  ‘Jesus Christ, Izzi, will you stop acting like some ball-breaking bitch! You’re in shit up to your pretty neck, darlin’, and you ain’t gonna be able to do crap without me, y’hear me, sweetheart? This ain’t your world, and no matter how many times you stand there and tell me you’re ready for this; no matter what shit you went through to get here you ain’t nowhere near ready for what Viper and his crew could throw at you. And they don’t discriminate, Izzi. Male, female, white, black, they don’t fucking care. You threaten their club in any way, they’re gonna come gunning for you. That’s the way this world works. And it’s only a matter of time before they work out what you’re doing here, so either you let me help you, or we find a way to get you on the first plane out of here and back to wherever you came from.’

  ‘I’m not going home. I can’t go home. Not without finishing what I came here to do.’

  ‘Then you ain’t got much of a choice, darlin’.’

  She backs up against the wall and I watch as she turns her head away from me, her expression cold and hard but I still think she’s putting up some kinda front. This ain’t her. I don’t know who she used to be, but I’m guessing it was nothing like the girl she is now. ‘You’ll be putting your club in danger, Mack. If you help me. You said that yourself…’