‘I love you like a daughter. And everything I do, it’s because I care about you.’
‘Like stopping me from putting Viper down?’
He says nothing for a beat or two, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. ‘Yes.’
‘Even though you spent all that time preparing me to do just that?’
‘We’ve been through this, Izzi. Things change. Circumstances change, people change. You should know that more than anyone.’
I stare at him for a couple of seconds before I walk over and hug him quickly, kissing his cheek. ‘I’m going to see Zeb.’ I start to walk away.
‘Izzi.’
I turn around and look at him.
‘Be careful.’
I don’t ask why. I don’t want to. I know what I’m doing. I think it’s the only real option I’ve got left now, but it might just be the one that makes me happy again.
Mack
She’s all blonde hair and green eyes and her face, yeah, it’s pretty. She’s hot, there’s no denying that, but I ain’t really in the mood for some mindless encounter with some random girl I’ve picked up in a bar. Jesus! Did I really just think that? I’m fucking scaring myself now.
‘You new in town?’
I turn my head and look her up and down, but I don’t offer up any reply to her question. And she’s not as young as I first thought, now I see her close up. She’s got a few tell-tale lines around those green eyes, and I’m not sure blonde’s her natural hair color, either.
‘Not a big talker, huh?’ She smiles, and I turn my attention back to my drink. ‘You a biker?’
I laugh quietly and down another mouthful of whiskey. ‘What gave it away?’ I couldn’t give a shit that my tone’s overly sarcastic. She knows I’m a fucking biker, she can see that. It’s obvious.
‘We don’t get many round here.’ She leans forward, resting her arms on the counter as she smiles at the barman, who immediately fetches her a beer. I’m guessing she’s a regular.
‘Really.’
‘Nearest MC’s over in the next town. They don’t really hang out much here.’ She flicks the top off the bottle and downs a mouthful. ‘You in town for a reason?’
I slowly turn to look at her again, but I don’t answer her question. Why I’m here’s got fuck all to do with her.
‘Jesus, you’re freakin’ hard work.’
I finish my drink and slam the glass back down on the counter, along with a handful of money. I’m outta here. I only stopped for a quick break, I don’t want a conversation with some stranger, even if she is a pretty one.
‘You looking for someone?’
I stop and turn back around, although I don’t know why. Like I said, I’m not in the mood for conversation.
‘Or you just passing through?’
I narrow my eyes slightly as I look at her. Yeah, maybe I should just walk away. I know what she’s really after. I can see it a mile off. I’m done here, and I turn and start to walk away again.
‘Only, we got ourselves some new residents. Moved in a few month back.’
I throw my head back and take a deep breath before I turn back to face her. She better not be fucking me around…
‘One of the guys runs a tattoo studio on the main street. Tall, mid-forties, I’d say, and pretty hot if you ask me. Got a real kissable mouth, although I ain’t had the pleasure of trying it out for myself just yet, but I’m working on it.’
I move closer to her, my eyes fixed on hers. ‘You know his name?’
She shrugs. ‘Zeb, or something weird like that. Probably his nickname…’
‘You seen him with a woman? Dark hair, mid-twenties…’
‘Yeah. She hangs out at the tattoo studio with him some days. Seen ‘em in a couple of the bars round here, too. From what I can gather they’ve got a place somewhere on the edge of town…’
‘You said one of the guys…’
She frowns and cocks her head slightly. ‘You are looking for someone, aren’t you?’ Then her expression changes, and she takes a step back. ‘Hey. You’re not gonna start any trouble, are you? Only, we don’t need that kinda crap here.’
‘Is it just Zeb and the girl you’ve seen, or have you seen someone else with them? Another guy?’
She doesn’t answer me, she just continues to stare at me.
‘Jesus, no, I’m not here to start any trouble, OK? I come in fucking peace.’
‘All right. There’s no need to be rude. I’m only asking, ‘cause we don’t stand for no trouble, is all.’
‘Well haven’t I just stumbled into small town heaven.’
‘Anyone tell you you’re a real asshole?’
‘Frequently. Zeb and this girl, do they live alone?’
‘No. There’s another, slightly older guy lives with them. Respectable looking dude, from what I can gather, although I haven’t seen all that much of him myself. Likes to keep himself to himself, apparently.’
‘You said they had a place on the edge of town…’
‘Oh, you’re gonna have to ask nicely if you want me to give you anything else.’
I move further into her space, and I ain’t fucking playing no more. I’m tired, I’m hungry, and I’m this fucking close to finding Izzi so this one better play ball.
‘I can lose my temper real quick, darlin’. And you said you don’t stand for that kinda crap round here, so, be a good girl and give me the address.’
She smirks, and I ain’t seeing pretty no more. I’m seeing the kinda shit I’m done with now. ‘It’s not far. You on a bike?’
I throw her a sarcastic look. ‘What do you think, sweetheart?’
‘Y’know, you don’t look so hot when you’re acting the macho prick.’
Like I freakin’ care what she thinks.
‘Should only take you about five minutes to ride there.’ She scribbles something down on the back of a napkin and hands it to me.
‘What’s with the phone number?’
She smiles and picks up her beer, raising it slowly to her lips and taking a long pull. ‘That’s mine.’ She throws me a wink and takes another sip of beer. ‘If you’re sticking around you might want someone to show you the sights.’
I laugh, and shove the napkin in my pocket before I turn and walk away.
Why the hell would I want some desperate, wannabe biker mama?
I’m done with that crap.
I’m gonna go get Izzi.
Chapter Thirty
Izzi
‘Are we really doing this?’ I smile as Zeb’s fingers slide between mine, and he pushes me gently back against the wall, being careful of my still-fresh tattoo, and he kisses me, and I let my stomach flip over. I’m not fighting it anymore. It’s too exhausting. I don’t know what we have; I don’t know where we’re going, or what kind of future I’m destined for now, all I know is I just want to stand still for a while and let something happen. Whatever that something turns out to be.
‘I think we’ve been doing this for a lot longer than either of us realize, Izzi.’
I let go of his hand and reach up to touch his face, running my fingers over his neat, goatee beard, and I think he might be right. I think we probably reached this point a lot sooner than now. ‘Yeah. Maybe.’ He took me, and he made me. Of course I was always going to be his. I think that might have been decided the second I met him. Or the second he touched me or fucked me or – I don’t know. But maybe this is where I’m supposed to be. Now. This is my second chance at some kind of life.
‘Don’t mean I’m gonna get all fucking romantic and start buying you flowers, though, ‘cause I don’t think you’re that kinda girl.’
I smile, and he takes my hand and kisses my fingers and I gasp as I feel his other hand slip up under my skirt, leaving it to rest on the top of my leg.
‘Yeah.’ His face breaks into a grin as he realizes I’m not wearing any panties, and I move my legs a little further apart as his thumb begins to stroke my inner thigh. ‘I know exactly the kinda girl
you are, princess.’
‘The kind of girl you wanted,’ I breathe as he kisses me again, his thumb applying just a little more pressure as it grazes the edges of my labia.
‘I think I might’ve created my dream woman,’ he murmurs, and his warm breath on my skin makes me shiver.
I smile and bite down on my lip as he continues to tease me with his fingers, barely touching me, and I swear if he carries on like this he’s going to make me come in seconds. ‘We’ll have to see about that, won’t we?’
He laughs, and I feel my stomach contract in a succession of waves.
‘You gonna keep playing with me, or are you actually gonna fuck me?’ And I can’t decide whether I just want him to finish me off right now, or wait until he takes me properly.
‘Both,’ he growls, ‘for as long as I fucking live.’
‘Yeah, well, in your world who knows how long that’s gonna be, so don’t waste any time, huh?’
And even he knows that what I’ve just said there – he knows that hit a nerve. He knows how much that little piece of truth scares me. ‘It’s OK,’ he whispers, tucking a finger under my chin and raising my head, making me look at him. ‘I’m gonna make it OK, baby, remember? I promised you that. That’s what I do, I make things OK.’
‘This is why I don’t know if I can do this, Zeb. If I let myself get too close, if we…’
‘If we what? Stop over-thinking this, darlin’.’
‘I don’t want to love, OK? I’m putting that out there, I’m telling it how it is. I don’t want to love. It’s hard and it’s painful and after Aiden…’
‘You ain’t ever getting Aiden back, sweetheart. So you really need to move on.’
‘Just like that, huh?’
‘I think we’re way past “just like that”, Izzi.’
I look up into his eyes, and I feel something deep in the pit of my stomach, a stirring, I don’t know. But I’m feeling something.
‘I’m gonna do my best to stay alive, baby, OK?’
The corner of my mouth twists up into a smile and I slide a hand around the back of his neck, winding my fingers in his hair. ‘Promise?’
He just throws me that lopsided smirk of his and leans in to kiss my neck. ‘Where were we?’ he murmurs, and I feel his lips against my skin, and I shiver again.
‘Somewhere round about here.’ I take his hand and slide it back up under my short skirt and I close my eyes and throw back my head.
I’m giving in.
I want him to take me.
I want him to keep on making me everything he needs me to be.
I want him…
Mack
I decide to leave the bike a little further up the dirt track that leads to the house I’ve been told Zeb, Izzi and Sam are staying in. I don’t particularly want to draw attention to my presence just yet. I want to see if I can catch her on her own first, but as I walk up the dirt track, and the house comes into view, I feel my stomach sink. She’s there. But she ain’t alone. She’s with him; my cousin. Yeah. Like that little family reunion’s gonna happen any time soon.
I lean over the fence that surrounds the house and watch them. They’re too wrapped up in each other to even notice I’m there, and even though every fiber of my being is screaming at me to go over there and pull him the hell away from her, I stay right where I am. And I watch as he touches her… fucking prick! He’s old enough to be her fucking daddy and she’s letting him do all kinds of shit to her. And even when he lifts her up and she wraps those beautiful legs around him – and I know he’s inside her now, it’s freakin’ obvious – I keep on watching. And I’m feeling ten kinds of crap here.
‘She’d given up hope, Mack.’
I swing around to see Sam behind me – the man who calls himself my father, but that’s a blood link only, he ain’t my daddy. Cooper was the only man I’ll ever call my father. ‘So she just turned to him, huh?’
‘She didn’t “just” do anything.’ He moves up alongside me and leans back against the fence. ‘It’s complicated. Their relationship.’
I drag a hand back and forth over my head as I look back over at Izzi being fucked by Zeb up there on the porch. She has her eyes closed, her head thrown back slightly, and he’s kissing her neck and thrusting hard and I watch as her body reacts, her cries of pleasure ringing out, breaking the silence.
I drop my gaze and shrug off Sam’s hand as he touches my shoulder. ‘I gave everything up for her.’
‘You must’ve known it was a risk. Leaving it so long.’
I turn around and sink to the ground, dropping my head into my hands. I don’t think I realized just how exhausted I was until now but, man, I am fucking wrecked!
I’m vaguely aware of the sound of a Harley pulling away, but I keep my eyes closed and my head down.
‘Come inside, Mack.’
I slowly open my eyes and pull myself to my feet and when I look over to the porch it’s empty now.
‘They’ve gone out.’
I look at Sam, but I don’t say anything. I’m not even sure I know what I’m doing now and I fucking hate that lack of control this whole freakin’ situation has caused me to feel.
‘Come inside. Come on.’
I follow him through the gate and up to the house, and just walking up onto the porch I can smell her perfume and I hate myself for every fucking thing she’s made me – everything she’s making me feel. I fucking hate myself for being weak, for letting her in; for feeling like crap because I just seen her with another man, Jesus, what the fuck am I turning into?
‘I’ll go fetch your bike,’ Sam says as he opens the fridge and takes out a beer. ‘Sit down, relax. You need to get your head together.’
I take the beer and stop myself from giving him some kinda smart remark. I’m too tired. Too wound up, too fucking angry.
‘You’ll stay here. OK?’
‘What? No…’
‘You’ll stay here. We need to talk.’
‘Do we?’ I bite the lid off the beer and take a long pull, my eyes never leaving his. ‘About what, exactly?’
He doesn’t reply, and that irritates the fuck outta me. ‘I’ll go get your bike. Make yourself at home.’
I watch as he leaves the kitchen and then I take a look around me, downing another mouthful of beer. There are signs of her everywhere – her purse is lying on the counter, and one of her T-shirts is flung over the back of a stool by the breakfast bar. And I can still smell her perfume in here, it fills the air, and I close my eyes and breathe her in and I feel that anger inside me grow.
I left everything I ever knew behind. For her.
I came here. For her.
Is that something I’m now gonna regret…?
Chapter Thirty-One
Izzi
I open my eyes and wince slightly as I realize I’d rolled over onto my back in the night and lain right on my still-healing tattoo. And then I remember the sex out on the porch; how Zeb had knocked me back against the wall with every thrust and even though my tattoo’s throbbing now, partly due to that, no doubt, I still smile at the memory.
I pull myself up onto my elbows and look over at Zeb. He’s still asleep, his eyes closed to this dark world we now seem to be living in – I now seem to be living in. I’m guessing he’s known nothing else. His hair’s fallen slightly over his forehead and his fingers are clutching at the sheet that lies just below his waist and I’m not in the least bit surprised to see that, even in sleep, he’s hard and ready. But I’m exhausted. I didn’t think it was possible to be so worn out from sex that you can’t even think about having it ever again, but I’m kind of at that stage right now, and it’ll pass, I know that. Give me a few hours and he’ll look at me, and I’ll probably want to come running back to bed, but right now I need a cup of tea more.
I slide out of bed and grab his shirt from the floor, slipping it on along with a pair of my denim shorts. And then I look in the mirror and quickly pull my hair back into a messy ponytail before I go back o
ver to the bed and lean over to kiss his slightly open mouth. And I smile, because he’s this hard, cold man but his lips are so soft and perfect and I let a tiny shiver wash over me as I remember what he was doing with that mouth just a couple of hours ago.
He groans quietly, and I pull back, because I didn’t want to wake him, Jesus, I need a break. But, thankfully, he’s still asleep, and I watch as he shifts slightly, turning his head away from me and I smile, resisting the urge to brush his hair back off his face. I get out of there before he does finally wake up, and I head into the kitchen.
‘Shit! What the…?’
He’s the last person I ever expected to see, and my heart literally stops for a beat or two, or that’s how it feels, anyway, as I’m hit with a wall of shock and surprise and a dozen other things I can’t actually explain. Seeing him sitting there as calm as he is, it’s kind of thrown me. But then I pull my guard right back up and compose myself in record-quick time.
‘What’re you doing here?’ I try to keep my voice cold. And, yeah, I’m on the defensive here, I’m aware of that.
‘You might want to remember that it was you who walked away from me, darlin’. Weren’t the other way around, so quit treating me like I went out for some cigarettes and never came back.’
I feel my skin prickle as I fill the kettle and place it on the stove top to boil. And I don’t say anything. I’m not sure I’ve got anything to say.
‘Izzi?’
I swallow hard and reach up to fetch a mug from the cupboard. And still I remain silent. I think I’m just trying to take in the fact he’s here.
‘Izzi, Jesus, come on. Look at me, will you?’
I’m not reacting to him, not yet. But then I hear his chair scrape back and I know he’s coming over to me, but the second he touches my waist I flinch and yank his hand away. He doesn’t get to walk in here and just claim ownership. He doesn’t get to do that.
Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1) Page 27
